My fucking throat's on fire!

I was out to dinner with my mom, her husband, and my brother, celebrating me getting a (much better) job. We were at an Asian stir-fry place (Flat Top Grill in Evanston for Chicago GFFers) and my mom's husband, being a SUTH-UHN-AH from TECKS-UHS mistook the wasabi for guacamole.

He put about 2 tbsp in his stir-fry. This was then mixed into the entire dish, as should be the case in a stir-fry. They brought our dishes to the table, and he dug in. And damn near screamed. Except he couldn't make a sound, as the burning was too horrible for him.

I laughed my ass off. It was a truly humorous thing seeing him in that much agony.

Anyway, anecdotes aside, I fucking love spicy food. Like OO, I only go so far as to make things spicy and tasty. If heat drowns out flavour, forget it. But up until that point, bring on the fucking burn. One of my favourite quick-and-easy spicy dishes is to take Lipton's "Rice Sides" packets, the cajun-styled "Dirty Rice" variety, and mix in some Louisiana hot sauce and cayenne pepper. The LHS is a mixed bag, as you have to get a good variety, but if you get the right kind and mix in a bit of cayenne pepper, it's fucking awesome. It will burn, taste good, and it's healthy to boot.

Also, Kung Pao shrimp from a good Chinese place is to kill for. 'specially if you can order it extra spicy and manage to get a cook who knows how to do spicy without losing taste. There's a place in the suburb of Chicago wherein the aforementioned good job was located (Des Plaines, and the place is called Wonton Gourmet, on Rte. 83, and that's the Chinese place, not the job) where they have awesome kung pao shrimp. On top of that, they bring out the best spicy Chinese mustard when you order egg rolls there. Some of that on an egg roll, mixed with a bit of sweet-n-sour sauce adds a nice kick with a ton of taste as well.

God dammit. Now I'm hungry. OO, you suck.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I love, love, love spicy food! My favorite hot sauce is this one (Ass Kickin' Original Habanero Sauce):

It's pretty hard to find, though. Usually when I find it I'll go ahead and buy a few bottles of it.

Once my husband brought home a bunch of different hot sauces for me from a business trip, and among them was this little gem:

It's called Dave's Gourmet Insanity Sauce. We broke out the tortilla chips and started sampling all the different hot sauces, not realizing that this one was lethal. You should have seen us all crying. After we recovered, we saw that there's actually a warning on the back of the bottle that reads,

"Use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems." I shit you not.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I haven´t forgotten about you, Akira. Ha, and sorry about that Celtic. It happens to me all the time, especially when you made me remember Chinese food and the fact that I haven´t really had it since late 2003. Not really gonna have it anytime soon in this country, either.

Alice, about eight years ago in Las Vegas there was this novelty shop in a casino called Sam´s Town that was going out of business. Being the silly bastard I am, I REALLY wanted to get this nice thick wooden stand that had, I believe, that first sauce you mentioned. The reason I wanted it was it had a picture of a Donkey backkicking either a cactus or a person and above, in big bold letters, it said KICK YO´ ASS HOT. My friends planned to get it for my birthday two weeks later but it was already gone. =/

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yep, that's the stuff alright.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I bought a hot sauce from a local farmers market that had cayenne peppers in it, and the reason I bought it was for the label. The label had all kinds of miracle cures written on it that the sauce had helped bring on. The ones I can remember are:

Fixes broken marriages
Cures Old Age
Sure fix for Diabetes
etc...

Wasnt a bad sauce either. A little vinegary though.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Twikite

I live in New Mexico, and people here put green chili on everything. I'm not all that fond of it though; I prefer it's red counterpart.

Whoah, you're from Burque? You're probably the only other person on this board that's eaten a Dos Hermanos burrito. Get your Daily Dos: Red or Green?!

FELIPE NO

Okay Akira, here`s the sauce.

Brand is Arrecha. It`s called Salsa Habanera Cacahuate CON LIMON. I now realize why it isn`t so hot... Habanero peppers are fourth on the ingredients list.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by OctoberOmicron

Okay Akira, here`s the sauce.

Brand is Arrecha. It`s called Salsa Habanera Cacahuate CON LIMON. I now realize why it isn`t so hot... Habanero peppers are fourth on the ingredients list.

Awesome, dude. Ill have to try and find it. I hope I dont have to order it, but I probably would if it came down to it.

This is my favorite hot sauce hands down. You should give it a go around if you love strong flavor and heat. Its the one served at our local mexican restaurants, but you can buy it off the website too.



I think ive finally become immune to its heat. Not to say I dont break a sweat on occasion.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by MetheGelfling

Whoah, you're from Burque? You're probably the only other person on this board that's eaten a Dos Hermanos burrito. Get your Daily Dos: Red or Green?!

I've only been to Dos once (heh). It was their San Mateo location next to CompUSA and Old Navy. The results?

HEUG BURRITO

Really good, though. I opted for red on one of their chorizo offerings (as I always do), but if circumstance brings me to another Dos Hermanos, I'll give their green a shot.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thanks Akira, the damned thing there looks appetizing. I totally forgot sauces has an actual system to rank the heat by. I`ll have to look up my favorites.

That Mayan recipe might be interesting.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

That one is 8000, and it has ass kicking potential. Theres a pepper, the Naga Jolokia pepper, that at its hottest, is in the millions on the scoville scale. Chili habeneros are only 15,000 I think. So the Jolokia has the potential to actually burn your skin. Its right under pepper spray I believe.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Once my husband brought home a bunch of different hot sauces for me from a business trip, and among them was this little gem:

It's called Dave's Gourmet Insanity Sauce. We broke out the tortilla chips and started sampling all the different hot sauces, not realizing that this one was lethal. You should have seen us all crying. After we recovered, we saw that there's actually a warning on the back of the bottle that reads,

"Use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems." I shit you not.

lol, I tasted that shit too, my friend tricked me though, he switched a little container of ketchup from mcdonalds at navy pier and switched it with that. I dipped a few fries and got a whole LOT of it, ate it, and was like omg, wtf!?! brb, I was at the water fountain for about 5 minutes. Its insane. Has anyone else tried this and if so, is there something stronger than this? I really doubt it lol. Its pretty much made only for puttin 1 or 2 drops while your cooking a big steak or something.

Oh and Alice, you forgot, on the label it also says will clean grease stains off of driveways. :P

I was speaking idiomatically.

It takes the rust off pennies! We soaked a penny in it for a couple of hours and it looked brand new.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

And you people willingly put this in your system?! EEEEW!!! :lolsign:

FELIPE NO

It cleans you out, from both ends.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I bet you won't say that so nonchalantly once it makes you shit your large and small intestines out of your ass in a blazing corona of white hot death. XD

Jam it back in, in the dark.

That sounds oddly appealing. Didn`t notice that post before but now I`m curious. I wonder if any amount of tongue training can prepare you to be able to down that shit without a problem.

And I`d be more worried with putting soda in my system than a hot sauce.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Dubble

I bet you won't say that so nonchalantly once it makes you shit your large and small intestines out of your ass in a blazing corona of white hot death. XD

Ive experienced that before.

A few friends of mine and I were sitting around playing poker and eating pepperochini peppers for about 4 hours one night. Anyone whos eatin pepperochini peppers know their not really that hot, but after you eat 30 of them you shit lava.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.