Burning bridges

Just how much crap do you take from your friends before finally cutting them off for good? Eventually you have to reach a point where things are irreconcilable - where is it, for you? And how willing are you to mend fences afterwards?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm mostly easy-going with friends. However, there are a few things that really get to me:

1) When a friend betrays me. Especially to the point of where I am confronted by someone who could ruin my whole future (or my already-flawed face) because they couldn't keep a secret.

2) When they tell me that my problems are "insignificant". I've had friends that talk about the same problem over and over again, and I tend to do the same thing. However, saying that my problems are "insignificant" is more of a rudeness sort of thing. You could say, "I don't have time to listen to your problems" or "I don't know what to do about it, so please don't talk to me about it anymore". B/C, quite frankly, their problems about whether or not they should stay with their boyfriend could be "insignificant" to me, but I still have the courtesy to listen and give different feedback.

3) Changing the topic abruptly to ignore the current situation. Even saying something such as, "Let's drop it" is fine, but to just turn around and start talking to someone else about their visit to a beach without a closing statement is sort of rude.

I'm normally easy going, and I'll stay friends with my friends who even ignore me for months b/c they want to be with their boyfriends. However, friends who do one of the three have a very slim chance at remaining a close friend and are normally dropped to the level of acquaintance (especially since most people don't apologize after performing one of the three).

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I tend to cut off relationships based on how irritated I get with that person, which is very easy to do if they're a particularly recent acquaintance.

I completely cut off this one guy who used to be cool cause he tried to push his religious beliefs on me. We could never have a conversation that didn't involve him reciting passages from the bible. It was always a constant lecture. He used to be really cool too...

Then I started hanging out with this guy from my art class. He was pretty cool. Then I gave him a ride and I had my radio on and he straight up turned it off. I'm like... WTF?! This was after we had a discussion about how I wanted to try stop trying to draw something 'realistically' and try for something more 'expressive.' Then he had the balls to say "I've never seen you draw anything realistic."

I met this chick in another art class and we started hanging out. I tried asking her out a few times to go see a concert or a movie or something and she would always agree. Then at the last second she would flake out and cancel. So I stopped calling her or accepting her offers to hang out.

Erm. This might make me seem pretty petty but whatever. It’s a different story if I’ve known the person for awhile.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It really depends on person and situation, but I can name a few examples where I ended friendships with the particular person(s).

Once I did a favor for someone in which she didn't return the favor. I quickly ended that one. It's always a sure sign you don't have a person who keeps her word.

One of my friends started hanging out with a new group of people, thus alienating herself from me. I quickly reciprocated.

There was one girl who was a devout Christian, and her knowing I wasn't Christian began to give mini sermons to me during dinner to the point where I would begin to simply ignore her or flat out say something opposing her. She has gotten better about it, but I still don't really treat her kindly, since she seems to enjoy pushing ideals onto others. Every conversation would end up about Jesus or God, which isn't ideal in everyday conversation unless you're in some bible study.

How ya doing, buddy?

Fortunately, I haven't had any friends that were so troubleome that I would sever the relationship with them.
Although, if the time were to come, I would have to cut off relations with supposed "friends" that totally betray me when I've placed my utmost trust in them. Not just in secret keeping, but also if I expected them to be there at a critical point in my life. That is the kind of thing that I don't know if I could forgive.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I have had very few situations where I have stopped a friendship. Although, there are cases when people have stopped friendship with me. Most of those people are kind of loners now. That's unfortunate, and I still have no idea how one of my closest friends ever decided to hate me.....

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I haven't so much burnt any bridges with people, as much as I have just let friendships deminish. if they're being inconsiderate, rude, excessively clingy, or just one-sided on the friendship then I'll just let us drift apart rather than ending the friendship for good. there's always the possibility that they'll grow out of whatever immaturities they possessed that made me leave in the first place.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, so unless they've done something that really sets me off, I'm not going to chuck them out of my life forever. I'll give them chances to improve, but if they're making my life more stressful than it needs to be, then it's time to go our separate ways until they can learn some common courtesy.

How ya doing, buddy?

I've had a old friend that was a girl I used to hang out alot with her but then she started making fun of my other friends so I quickly stopped hanging around with her.

How ya doing, buddy?

Some of my friends have told me that I have a high tolerance for BS from other friends of mine. I have a bad habit of giving people the benefit of a doubt. Instead of seeing the situation as it is, I tend to give people chances they don't deserve. I'll use the last friend I cut off about six months ago. I've known him for almost five years, but yet and still, he had some serious issues. I was willing to look past his issues (such as chronic depression and lashing out at me).

However, things came to the end on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day to be exact. While I was happy that I'd lived to see another year, he began lashing out at me for being so happy. Then he tried playing mind games with me as well. Because that day was a holiday, I told him that I was sick of his behavior and how much I tolerated it. Looking back, that wasn't the first time he did something like that. I'm glad I got rid of him because all he was doing was bringing me down.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It depends on how detrimental w/etf it is that they did to me.

If it's talking shit behind my back or ditching me for a school project - not really. They go down on my black book as ppl to avoid or ppl to secretly get back at later.

But 'talking shit' also has its varying degrees I've never had really horrible things said about me so i'll have to see when the time comes!

XD

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I pick my friends wisely, so I would probably never "un-friend" them no matter what they do. The most I would do would be breaking off communication, but I'd still help them if they really need help... and that's in very extreme cases, and I'm very tolerent. And honestly, I can't think of any realistic scenarios that would prompt me to do that.

Acquaintance are a whole different story.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What topic since this just happened in my life, HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I just believe that friends are really important, and you should really treat them with respect and care. I believe they are worth backing down for.

When it becomes obvious that they don't care about your feelings or when they start using you in ANY way (taking advantage of you) then its time to cut the strings.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I generally distance myself from friends if I'm able to recognize that we may no longer have anything in common or if he or she changes too much for the friendship to continue.

I cut all ties from one old friend who changed drastically. She began trusting internet friends more than those in real life, and I no longer knew her. After a few unfortunate events, we didn’t speak to each other as much. Attempting to contact her again years later on my part was useless, and the friendship was far from being saved.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I remember when I was in high school and I didn't know anyone, and had only one friend. Well, she basically told me to go get a new friend because she wanted to hang out with some other people.

So I did...

Except, the friends she wanted to hang out with dumped her and so she wanted to start hanging around me.

What a loser!

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by ava lilly

I haven't so much burnt any bridges with people, as much as I have just let friendships deminish. if they're being inconsiderate, rude, excessively clingy, or just one-sided on the friendship then I'll just let us drift apart rather than ending the friendship for good. there's always the possibility that they'll grow out of whatever immaturities they possessed that made me leave in the first place.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, so unless they've done something that really sets me off, I'm not going to chuck them out of my life forever. I'll give them chances to improve, but if they're making my life more stressful than it needs to be, then it's time to go our separate ways until they can learn some common courtesy.

That's basically my position. There are plenty of "friends" I have from various circumstances that piss me off in some way, but it's a policy of mine to give everyone more than one chance. If they don't feel like being a good friend to me, fine... I'll just let us drift apart.

I've never intentionally/actively burned a bridge with a friend. It would have to be something pretty heinous for me to do so.

FELIPE NO

I don't really go out of my way to burn bridges, they'd have to piss me off pretty badly for me to do so and I would confront them if they crossed that line. There are a few over the years that I conveniently "stopped talking to" due to various reasons like talking crap behind my back, going through my stuff at my house and telling me what I should/should not do, and leering at my then 17 year old sister.

Oh wait, I did burn bridges with my uncle because he married a crazy lady who decided to insult my entire family in every way imaginable. Then he had the guts to tell ME to apologize to her. We don't really talk although we saw each other once after that and he still gave me money. But I basically don't go out of my way to keep in contact with either of them anywa.

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