Nobody could ever love the real me

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It's like I'm depressed-but-not-depressed. I really don't have any symptoms of depression but I look at life as extremely glum and wish I were happier.

And everyone knows that psychologists are out of their minds. They usually get into that field to figure out what's wrong with them

Wow. That is the funniest thing I've heard all week!

How ya doing, buddy?

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Posted by jsphweid
Wow. That is the funniest thing I've heard all week!

Which part? Psychologists DO tend to be rather funny in the head themselves.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Don't feel sad... I had a boyfriend like you, he's everything I'm not..
He's lazy, passive, could be really sarcastic sometimes, seriously doesn't care about his family and online-gaming crazy.
I like him the way he is...

You're okay! Just get rid your computer-addicted syndrome.. put some weights in your priority... why wouldn't people love you? You wrote funny posts...

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I don't think you should feel that way. Maybe you feel that you have long list of "bad qualities" as you mentioned before. But dont forget: nobody's perfect. I'm sure you have good traits as well, but I think you should change the lazy behaviour if it's started to bug you around and makin' you feel not comfortable with such manner.

Originally Posted by Eleo

2. I am addicted to my computer. I never want to leave it. When I am away from it for more than maybe 24 hours I get really agitated and can no longer enjoy myself. This is probably something that needs to be dealt with on a psychological leve. But still.

I think everyone here interacts with computer much longer than real human. We couldnt avoid it. Society we living in now is asocial, and we couldnt help if computer and internet fulfill our needs to interact with others. Yeah, I'm staying around 15 hours in my monitor everyday. Other cases

I dont think people will judge you bad... instead, maybe you should judge yourself better.

I was speaking idiomatically.

It's all a matter of being what you want to be. If that is you and you don't want to change, then don't change. You can only be who you want to be.

But if you don't like these qualities about yourself, then make an effort to try to change them. Personally, I HATE being around pessimistic people. I avoid them at all costs. I'm a very optimistic person, and I hate being around people who try to bring me down. They can't bring me down, but it's annoying getting in arguments all the time about a glass half full/half empty approach toward things.

It's all a matter of what makes you happy. If you want to be happier in life then change it. There is no point in living life IMO unless you are happy. What else is there to live for? I mean seriously, who wants to walk around gloomy all the time? It's not good for you from a health standpoint, and it just plain sucks.

My advice is to find something you are passionate about and pursue it. Whether it's sports, games, girls, weight-lifting, whatever. Find it, pursue it, and you'll be looking forward to it.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Eleo

But there have been so many times when I get fucked over in the worst way, a psychological sort of way. I often feel like someone, somewhere, is messing with my head. I mean, if I get robbed, I can just chalk that up to the kind of thing that happens to people. But there's a point where a set of coincidences can be so perfectly aligned (in a terrible way) that I just can't help but to assume somebody planned it. Or I can ignore that notion until something like that happens multiple times, then I just can't help to belive it.

But it's not that alone. It's watching my family members go through the same shit. They are all in a state of discontent, and mostly because they've been kicked in the nuts every time they've tried to move up. I understand that there are troubling times in life, but I guess I expect a point where you can ultimately succeed at life. I'm not saying bad shit will stop happening to you completely and you live in 100% happiness, but there should be a point where you can WIN. I don't see that in them. I see failure. And in my parents especially, I've seen that they've given up. To an extent this makes me give up as well. I've had the same problems over a smaller period of time so my trend may be false, but then seeing their trend carry on throughout their lives just kind of proves it.

I sorta of felt and kinda feel the same way. It seems little things coincidentally seem to go the wrong way for me. For example if I had a party to go to at 7:00 and I found out I had a work meeting that was going to be somewhere between 1 pm and 7 pm, it would start at exactly 7 pm just to fuck me over. That kinda shit happens all the time with me.

But in reality, there are people worse off than a lot of us. People fighting wars, disabled people, sick people, etc.

My philosophy since I was about 19, has always been that I welcome adversity. I crave it. Just so I can prove to myself and whatever "forces" are out there that it can't stop me, that it can't deter me. I welcome hate, I welcome dislike, I welcome adversity, because I know that it can't and won't stop me from being the person I want to me.

Instead of fearing this stuff you need to welcome it. Accept that bad things happen to you. I'm very much a "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" and a "why do you fall? so you can get back up" type of person. I don't let things stand in my way. That is why I welcome that type of stuff, so I can prove that it can't stop it. Sometimes that alone can keep you going. Just your determination to prove someone or something wrong.

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You considered your family somewhat before moving out the first time, I think, and so I believe you are exaggerating your bad qualities in order to wallow.

As an alternative, place this facing all of your doorways.

http://web.singnet.com.sg/~alankhoo/Maitreya.htm

FELIPE NO

Sorry, I couldn't read anything but the first post (I'm very, VERY tired and need some sleep, I can't focus my sight and I see blurry letters), but I can tell that you are focusing too much on your bad habits. As you have bad habits, you surely have some good ones and you shouldn't discard them. Also, I'm completely sure you are not always like that. I mean, there must be times when you can stay away from your computer and not even think about it, or times when you get really excited about. As people over here would say: "Estas creando una tormenta de un vaso de agua" (you're creating a storm from a glass of water).

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Eleo, I'm all of the things you described and I'm married. So there is hope.

One day you'll find someone who doesn't give a shit that you're lazy and may be lazier than you. That person won't be a needy dependent that can't function without you attached to the hip therefore you'll be able to play computer geek all day long. Whenever you think you're so heartless and cruel that noone could possibly love you, along comes someone who for some reason makes you feel like being a human fucking being for at least a few minutes a day. Only a few minutes though because you'll still be a lazy shit. During the other 23 hours of the day, your cynical attitude will continue but not really affect the significant other because they'll think highly enough of you to respect your pessimistic attitude and take it for what it's worth, nothing. Misery loves company. So in a sick and twisted way you'll begin to really care about the person that either makes you more miserable or you'll care because you'll have gotten used to not being the only miserable person in the room and you'll feel happier knowing that someone feels just a shitty as you do. Finding a GOOD PERSON that sees you and still loves you will be like finding a lawyer with a soul. But when you finally find that person, it'll be a deal like a limp dick...you can't beat it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

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ziggythecat
Eleo, I'm all of the things you described and I'm married. So there is hope.

While not meant as a direct blow to you, that doesn't really mean anything. Getting married isn't hard at all. In fact in most cases it's a sure-fire sign that both people haven't actually thought it out at all past the hearts and the "love conquers all" fiction, which is why over half of all marriages end in failure.

I'll say it again, infatuation is not love, and once the emotional high passes most people find themselves wondering what the hell they actually saw in the other person. People just don't realize that infatuation is not rational, and someone you can crush on isn't necessarily someone you can actually love.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

MK, You speak somewhat the truth. I based my point assuming someone will spend more than 6 months dating before they get married and actually bother to get to know the person. It took me 6 years with to realize "ok, i can deal with this person for the rest of my life". to me marriage isn't even so much about finding someone you can love, really love. it's about finding someone you love and still being able to put up with them even at their worst. I feel like I can say that because we've been putting up with each other's same old bullshit for 10 years now and we're still HAPPILY married and in love.

moral of my story is that no matter how deep dark evil and unlovable you think you are or are, 99.999% of the time there is someone out there that is just as deep dark evil and unlovable looking for someone just like you to at least share their misery with and be happily miserable together. getting married to that person is fairly simple, finding them in the first place is the hard part.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

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Posted by ziggythecat
moral of my story is that no matter how deep dark evil and unlovable you think you are or are, 99.999% of the time there is someone out there that is just as deep dark evil and unlovable looking for someone just like you to at least share their misery with and be happily miserable together. getting married to that person is fairly simple, finding them in the first place is the hard part.

Okay, just to be argumentative. Sure you can find someone deep, dark, evil, and unlovable - but what if that's not the sort of person you're particularly interested in?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Sounds like a lot of people I know (myself, some of my friends for instance)
1. Laziness can be fixed by proper motivation. If you really want someone you will work for them and work you will. I know I guy why spends 4hrs in the gym working out so he can good buff/be in shape to impress this girl/

2. Computer addition - we all have it. It's nothign new. I spent a week in Chicago with my cadet squadron and for a minute there, I thought I was going to die. But you know what - of you're doing something fun, you forget that you're missing a piece of you (aka. the comp)

3. The capacity for being cruel does not make you cruel. It just makes you two faced (like me..lol). But its true, there will be people who will love it and others who will hate it. I am loved (yes...believe it or not) for my cruelty.

4. Pessimism - not a bad thing. You don't have to feel disappointment if something goes wrong because you already do. IT pissed people off but its easy fixed by PRETENDING. We're all good at that, ne?

5. Family - I don't feel particular to attachment to them either, except my little brother who I treat as if he was my own baby. It's not wrong to not care about them, nor does it make you heartless. Some people are just that way. So don't worry - not all people are family people.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Monkey King

Okay, just to be argumentative. Sure you can find someone deep, dark, evil, and unlovable - but what if that's not the sort of person you're particularly interested in?

valid point. course there are plenty of nice people out there that fall in love with unlovable people. Good girls fall for the bad guy all the time. There's no logic or magic formula to it. As much as I try to get it cut and dry, there will always be loop holes. It's emotion we're talking about here. I'm just going on what I've either experienced or seen, which has been many types of relationships. Alot of them worked and alot of them failed. And if, for some chance you can't find someone and are just destined to be alone, then fuck it, you'll be alone. Have fun with it or sit and your room and cry about it. You may have a purpose in life other than getting married/shacking up, having a bunch of little brats running around and living the modern middle class life.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Eleo

But what if you have so many flaws that this is impossible or unlikely. But even worse, what if you're conscious of your vices that you realize that anyone who likes you despite them must also be a bad person, ie anyone who would still be attracted to you after discovering the real you must be a pretty weird/strange/unattractive person. And when I say unattractive I don't necessarily mean physically, but just in general.

If someone accepts you for who you are it does not mean they are a bad person; it means they maybe... just maybe... truly love you..?

FELIPE NO

"I hate the people who love me. And they hate me."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The statement is unfounded logically; any useful input, backed by the said logic, would seem to go to waste.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

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As an atheist I look at life as being pretty much just absurd, I often question my reason for living.

You know, you should probably seriously look into being religious then. That's kinda what it exists for.


And for the record, I'm athiest. Doesn't mean I don't think religion can't be useful for certain people.

There's nowhere I can't reach.