Dog brain plays Quake. Not kidding.

EDIT: Okay, my bad guys. It's fake. Blame my friend Drew. He's the one who sent the link to me. Got to give them credit though, it was pretty well-done. Except for the huge text at the top, but I swear that didn't show up for me at any point. So yes, I fail.

http://home.actlab.utexas.edu/~dbail...ssrelease.html

The potential for this is awesome. As the article says:

As a living computer, the cells may one day be used control robots to handle dangerous tasks such as navigating complex paths to let bomb squads remotely diffuse a bomb or even to build soldier robots designed to take out entrenched enemies.

It rather disappoints me that one of the first things they consider is warfare potential. True, it would be great to spare human lives, but there are other uses for this kind of science.

Though you just know that there will be people scared shitless over this, thanks to Hollywood. Apocalypse brought about by dog-brained robots. Not the worst way a race could go, but still, hmm. I honestly doubt it could come to that though.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Oh great. They're talking about using these brain cell clusters to operate robots. Robots, with organic brains capable of learning and adapting. This is where it begins, people. This is the day that marks the downfall of humanity to the legions of killer robots.

I wonder how this even works? How would an unspecified cluster of cells even be able to determine the point of the game? Navigation and collision detection are one thing, but actually fighting opponents requires a certain degree of positive and negative stimulus to make you CARE about being blown up. As near as I can tell they're just feeding the thing information from the game. How does it know it should try to win?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Woo, it killed Sarge. Wonder what difficulty.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Awesome. Maybe one day we can use this technology to help create domestic robots. You're thinking of killer robots, but I'm thinking: Persocoms! C'mon, it would be great. You wouldn't have to give them organic brains, though. Perhaps experiments like this could be used to help design a mechanical device (or perhaps, a program) that has similar abilities.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I hope that instead of war-fare, it can help us design synthetic bodies and possibly allow us to physically connect to the computer.

Of course, the robots will take over. But with any hope, That WILL NOT happen in our lifetime. Maybe in our Grand-kids or great grand-kids lifetime. But not ours.

I was speaking idiomatically.

This is a fake article.

First of all, it's on the university's user pages.

Secondly, check the bottom.
"note: this is not a real press release"

The guy most likely just read those articles he linked to and expanded upon it for a humorous result (going from plane simulator to Quake III).

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Aw, shucks.

Well at any rate, while the page make have been fake, the concept is valid just the same. The ratchip article is real.

FELIPE NO

They are doing things like this, might I mention.

Taking brain cells, applying electric signals and seeing how the clusters of cells react. I wish I could link you guys to the shit we read in robotics. This is REAL SHIT.

I don't know about a DOG BRAIN playing QUAKE, but I can tell you that they're trying to decode "brain language" (as in eletrical pulses) so they can apply this brain language to robotics.

It's really complicated, really amazing, and actually HAPPENING.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yes, kidding.

Quote:

This is a silly fake created for a Radio Television Film class. Please do not take it seriously.See the project description page.

LOL. Film project? Vaguely reminds me of "Heart of the/a Dog" by Mikhail Bulgakov.
it's from my university...

However, this is for real:

Quote:

I read a story about a University of Florida scientist who used rat neurons in a Petri dish to control a flight simulator. Several news sources reported the same thing and all of the reports were extremely credulous and very similar. The scientist hasn't published a paper on the flight simulator control interface but one of his earlier papers seems to show that it is not all the press made it out to be.

ARTICLE HERE.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I dread the day I will be beaten at Smash Bros. by a dog brain.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

This causes me to yearn for immortality. When can they reconstruct my mind in new flesh?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.