Harry Potter: Replacing the word wand with wang

Someone directed my attention to this and here it is for your enjoyment:

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything


A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls


"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yes, J.K. Rowling is a dirty woman because words in her books can be replaced with other words which change the meaning of her words entirely.

I have to admit, though, it does put an entirely new perspective on those books...
...albeit a very strange one >_<

How ya doing, buddy?

that is... interesting...

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Hot dang. Replace "Harry" with "Hooter(s)" and we've got us some hawt, naughty readin' right there <3 Alert Jenna Jamison & Ron Jeremy.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Gechmir

Hot dang. Replace "Harry" with "Hooter(s)" and we've got us some hawt, naughty readin' right there <3 Alert Jenna Jamison & Ron Jeremy.

=o
Rowling could find a whole new audience for her books using this =p

...either that or an entirely new following of creeps ;_;

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Originally Posted by Snowknight

...either that or an entirely new following of creeps ;_;

Creeps aren't new to the Potter series! Have you not seen that website linked in the past few years to some Hermione fanboy? He worships the actress and actually has a timer on his website, counting down to her 18th birthday.

But that's the movie >_>;

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Gechmir

Creeps aren't new to the Potter series!

This is true, but a pornographic version of the books would surely attract even more. (This also comes with massive parental outcry that their children have read books written by a pornographer of sorts.)
At the very least, it would all be funny to watch.

FELIPE NO

Yeah, I've seen this before and it was entertaining. The first place I saw this was at bash.org (http://bash.org/?111338), and I'm thinking that it was the original source but I'm not sure.

Relatedly, something also entertaing was the recent photos of Emma Watson caught drinking. Good stuff.



http://www.ewonline.net/news.598.php

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Welcome to 3 years ago.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Heh, pretty funny stuff. I never knew Harry Potter could be such a good laugh. Rowling, you naughty girl.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by SemperFidelis

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

Hermione is a very naughty girl.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well erm dirty harry!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Snowknight

(This also comes with massive parental outcry that their children have read books written by a pornographer of sorts.)

I can't even begin to imagine the uproar. Soon enough, all Harry Potter movies will be rated R for no particular reason, except maybe due to the many complaints of parents all over the world.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Hahaha. Man, that's gold. What difference one word can make. Good find.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

hahahahaa this is so damn childish! I'm in fits of laughter!! reminds me of 'Lord of the Pants'!

How ya doing, buddy?

...you think about Harry's wang a lot, do ya?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

This is the secret to great storytelling. You start off with several obvious innuendoes and, when finished, veil each one of them.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

What is this, bash.org?

http://www.bash.org/?111338

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Snowknight

Yes, J.K. Rowling is a dirty woman because words in her books can be replaced with other words which change the meaning of her words entirely.

I have to admit, though, it does put an entirely new perspective on those books...
...albeit a very strange one >_<

Yes, it reminds me of that esp. of SNL where Linsey Lohan is Hermansdasmdna,msdn(sp)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Stealth

Welcome to 3 years ago.

I agree, this was only mildly funny for about 5 minutes...3 years ago, when people gave a shit about Harry Potter.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?