How old is too old?

Quote:

virgin pity parties

Hey, I never asked for anyones pitty. I don't want it either. That wasn't the point of the thread. I'm also not asking for dating advice. Maybe I just worded it poorly, I'm not the most articulate person after all. If so, I'm sorry to have confused you.

What I am asking is this: do you believe that someone can reach an age where it is no longer normal to be a virgin? If so, when?

Also since the topic is heading this direction anyway, lets introduce a second qustion: Is it even worth worrying about? Is there really anything special about your viginity? Is there any reason to wait for "true love" or whatever?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by David4516

Hey, I never asked for anyones pitty. I don't want it either. That wasn't the point of the thread. I'm also not asking for dating advice. Maybe I just worded it poorly, I'm not the most articulate person after all. If so, I'm sorry to have confused you.

What I am asking is this: do you believe that someone can reach an age where it is no longer normal to be a virgin? If so, when?

Also since the topic is heading this direction anyway, lets introduce a second qustion: Is it even worth worrying about? Is there really anything special about your viginity? Is there any reason to wait for "true love" or whatever?

An age where you're too old? Rather hard to define, simply doe to other factors that may have played into such a status. Physical health, mental health, family issues, religious doctrine (even if your not religious), being a chicken-shit...all are common factors for being an "older virgin". You also need to factor in how often you date, your quality of dates, etc.

While I'm not using this age as a cut-off point, if you hit 30 and you haven't had some form of sexual contact, then you should take a step back and evaluate yourself and the reason(s) you haven't.

Some guys aren't the 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' types; they want something lasting. And that's fine. But you'd still need to take a look at yourself and confirm that the decisions you're making are the ones that are making you happy.

But as far as worrying about? Bah. When the time comes you'll know it. It might be a good decision, it might be a bad one. Regardless, you'll know when.

As far as waiting for your "True Love"...that's a lofty expectation that many never find, if the divorce rate in America is any indication. That doesn't mean you should settle; that means you need to find your own happiness.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Aardark

That's just a weird argument. What's there to waste? It's not like something really changes once one's not a virgin anymore. You're only virgin once? Yeah, uh, so what? Everything happens only once. Physically not being a virgin shouldn't make sex with ''that person'' any less special.

As for you, David4516, I don't even know. You ''get the feeling that you may have already crossed the line''? Gee, well there's probably your answer; once you start thinking that way, I guess you're already too old.

'crossed the line', honestly, what

If a girl had asked that question, the answers would have been different. Men seem to be all about taking a girl's virginity. Never understood why that was such a big f'in deal.

Wait as long as you want. There's no time limit.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I notice David never answered the question about how many girls he's dated. Personally I'm 25 and never been on a date. Sometimes I wonder if that's normal, but it's not like I haven't tried to get a date. Infact I've done damn near everything I can think of to get one. But girls just won't date me for some reason. I don't know if it's cause they think I'm ugly, not confident enough(Although if that's the case I think they confuse not having confidence with not having an ego), or in some recent cases if it's cause they think I'm too old.

In any case, I've recently come to the conclusion that if no one is willing to give me the chance that I quite frankly deserve more then like 70% of the guys I see with girls around here... then they can kiss my ass. Although I do kinda blame my lack of female interaction for some of the weird things that go through my mind at times.

Anyhow I've gotten far off topic. I don't know if I'm really qualified to comment on this topic but I personally don't think there is really a time that you should no longer be a virgin. I mean even if you find that "Special Someone" who knows when they will actually be willing to put out. Not everyone is willing to have sex with someone just cause they're dating.

I was speaking idiomatically.

There's no definitive age when you should have sex. Sure, there's stastical averages and all that but that's all they are, statistics and, if you're curious, the ages people lose their virginity are actually going up.

Regardless, the problem, I imagine, is either lack of options, or nervousness about the actual act. There's a lot of pressure for people these days to start shagging and it may make you self-concious if you haven't had sex while your friends already have. Society doesn't help, as I said, because you probably feel a little isolated that there may be something wrong with your or something like that, which in turn causes more stress making it even worse.

I have no idea what the case is with you but if you haven't had sex yet, who cares? It's only as big a deal as you make it. It's easy to feel like you're the only one on the planet who hasn't had sex at your age but trust me, you're not. The more you think about it and the more you let it bother you, the more you narrow down your options.

And, some people just aren't all that interested in sex. One of my roomates loves doing sexual stuff but isn't a huge fan of sex itself, she thinks it's actually kinda gross, lol. Well, whatever, my point is that you're not abnormal, there's nothing wrong with you, so stop worrying about it and focus on more important things...like ice cream.

mmmm...ice cream.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Don't worry about being a virgin so much. It doesn't really amount to anything in the long run except for the fact that you're lacking in experience.

I agree with Sassafrass. If you have the chance to and you think you love the person. Lose it. I mean their really isn't anything to "cherish" about being a virgin. Except maybe the time you spend with your hand... Sorry.

If you don't lose it now. The person you love maybe turned off at the fact you haven't had sex before. That person would be shallow, but that's how it goes.

FELIPE NO

Why does it have to be someone super special? Let me ask you this David, have you ever been in a situation where you might've been in danger of losing your virginity? I'm not attacking you, I'm just wondering if you've gotten offers and then proceeded to give it second thoughts.

I mean, yeah, girls will come and go and as you get older, women do the samething. The only foreseeable problem with waiting so long is that you build up this fantasy behind the encounter and when it happens you're not only sorely disappointed, but inexperienced and it will lead to serious heartbreak.

I know, it happened to a buddy of mine. It was partly my fault, I think, we took him out, he met a girl and she took him home that same night. Two days later, I get a call from him and he's in tears. My other friend and I were kind of perplexed by his reaction, until we had discussed it in passing, over time. She liked him, but she just wanted a night. Yeah, it happens, it's happened to me, too but I try to shrug it off, now. It's not like I didn't get anything out of it.

Why does sex always equate to longterm attachment? Isn't there merit in being able to share a few moments of genuine passion with someone else, even if it is just once or twice? I mean, it's not like I'll have sex with just anybody, either. However, when I meet a woman and I spend hours on end over nothing more than coffee and maybe a walk, and not notice time passing, then I think that's an indicator that I want to share with this person physically.

So, anyway, it's not going to come around by you standing by. Just try to let go of the anticipation and the build-up, because to be honest your first time can be disappointing.

Also, jacking off is fairly healthy, at least when you're younger, it helps curb some of the initial sensitivity and will enable you to last longer when it comes time.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I don't really know why I bother responding, given that I'm basically echoing everyone else here, but yeah... don't worry about it.

I wanted to do the same thing as you... wait for that one. I dated tons of girls before I got there... got a few offers... turned them down. Then I got to that one, and I'm happy I waited: no baggage to deal with. She, on the other hand, is still messed up from the one other guy she had been with, and always says she wishes she had waited too.

Just stay with your current course. It'll be all good in the end.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Let me ask this. How many of you here actually waited for that "special someone" to have sex that's over 25? I think it would be better if someone like that can successfully answer your question.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by David4516

What I am asking is this: do you believe that someone can reach an age where it is no longer normal to be a virgin? If so, when?

Society wants you to stop being a Virgin at 18. Teens about 16 and Adults about 20 so it averages to 20.

But I'd say. No. Many people constantly make fun of virgins because that person themself needs sex because they can't wait. The kind of people who make fun of virgins are usually the people who need sex to be able to look themselves in the mirror.

Since that person needs sex, they think "I know they must need it too"....which leads to..."They must not be able to get any, that must be it!"....which gets followed up by harassing.

So you see, that's actually the reason people harass virgins...becaue they feel that you pretty much need sex because they do. And if you haven't got any than they figure you must have a problem because they need it.

I personally don't think there really is an age where you're too old to be a virgin. I'll even give you a handshake for not following the sex crazed crowd.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah, because you know, anyone who has sex is automatically sex crazed.

Personally, I don't think denying one of the natural pleasures (and necessities) of life is healthy. As long as he's not in complete denial of his sexuality, I really don't have a problem with people are virgins that are my age. I respect their view on the subject, as long as they have a reasonable outlook on what it means to be sexually active.

I like the incredibly stuffy attitude some people seem to have against sexual relationships. It's because we "need" it, like we're somekind of drug-fiend or something.

I could also make ludicrous comments about that crowd, too. Like they're a bunch of stuck-up assholes that can't see past their own noses and like to make themselves feel better by putting down those who recieve the physical attention that they themselves are so insanely jealous of. But, that's a narrow-minded, ignorant view and I know better than that.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Duo Maxwell

Yeah, because you know, anyone who has sex is automatically sex crazed.

The Vast majority are.

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Yeah I don't think college kids care much about, or discuss sex very much."

Sex is the only thing people ever talk about in college.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Sex is the main topic of any conversation in college... lol. Umm, I'd have to say any age between 20-30 is fine to be a virgin. But once you get past 30, that's pushing it a bit. This excludes if you're extremely religious, because well, they don't believe in that.

But, tell me you've gone out with someone and have made it to 3rd base. Or just... gone out with someone. Cause waiting for the perfect person isn't really realistic, the chances of you meeting that special soulmate is unlikely to happen until very much later.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Duo Maxwell

Why does sex always equate to longterm attachment?.

That right there is the golden question. You hit the nail right on the head there.

Anyway, I'm 20 years old and I just had my first kiss about 2 days ago. I mean at first I held off cause I wanted my first time to be with the person I settle with for the rest of my life. However, the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes to me that without experience and knowing what's really out there, I'm not really gonna be able to truly settle down. (Also, I think it's more difficult for us gay guys to have romance/sex fall right into our lap through our daily lives without pursuing it) Anyway, the point is there's no real right age. However, that doesn't mean you should just stay put and wait for it to happen. Get out there and mingle.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by David4516

I'm 24, and I still haven't had sex. I've been waiting to find that "specail someone". I don't want to just sleep with any girl. I want to actually fall in love and all that stuff. But I still haven't found a girl that I really care for.

Coming from a clinical sex addict - Sex is incredibly overrated.

It's all about expending energy uselessly. You fuck around with your partner's bits that they keep in their pants for most of the day, you squirm and squeal and release some reactionary fluids and flop around like fish.

Then what?

I have a dour outlook on sex for various reasons in my past. The long and short of it is that I had what ever guy ever wanted - I was fucking girls left and right about three years ago and without any attachment. But after a while, you realize they're using you as a human vibrator (thankfully, not as a human sperm bank) and it kind of ruins whatever ideas you had about women before you stuck yourself in her slot.

Sex complicates shit no matter how hard you try. And then theres stuff like if you and your partner are clean or compatible. Back hair. Smells. Getting your partner to orgasm. I knew one chick into being hit in the face - another into fisting and yet another into felching, though I thankfully never slept with that last one because I certainly would've hit her in the face, just to get the fuck away.

Seriously though, dude. Look for a rewarding relationship. If someone gets up in your shit about you being a virgin just tell them that you'd rather that then passing their mom around from the mailman to the milkman.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Neogin

I would say just treasure it. You're a virgin only once, and why waste it?

Do virgins get special privleges or something? Maybe a card that gives you 10% discounts at local merchants? I never heard about this.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by David4516

What I am asking is this: do you believe that someone can reach an age where it is no longer normal to be a virgin? If so, when?

Yes, and you have reached it.

It's a stupid question. Most people your age have already lost their virginity; even people who wait until marriage frequently marries young, assuming that they got a boyfriend or girlfriend that they like enough to have sex with.

You're really missing the point, though. If you're embarassed about being a virgin, go out and find a girl you like enough to have sex. If you are not, then don't. That's all that matters, bragging either way won't help you out any.

Also I like how I'm not the first person to call folks on the "treasure your virginity" bullshit. The people who say that do not know what they are missing, and it is hilariously obvious.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by soniclover

The Vast majority are.

You think you're special because you keep your legs closed and spend your Fridays alone. Compared to your kind, everyone is sex-crased.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by a lurker

You think you're special because you keep your legs closed and spend your Fridays alone. Compared to your kind, everyone is sex-crased.

Do you seriously believe the majority of people aren't sex crazed? Does that make you feel a little better about the world?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by a lurker

The people who say that do not know what they are missing, and it is hilariously obvious.

I probably talk to the wrong people then, b/c most of my friends who got laid many, many times say: "You're not missing much".

To answer the main question, I don't think there's a line. However, I have heard my friends say things such as, "Everyone wants to have sex with a virgin in their 20's cause they are so rare." However, I think that point has been proven false. I say, if you think your virginity is special, then it is and you should wait to find that special someone. If you think it's special, then you'll remember your first time more and whether it was a hit or miss...to be frank

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

A question for some of the people in this thread.

How old is too old to not have an STD? Since the sex is so good to keep risking getting it. How old should I be to have my first STD?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Visavi

I probably talk to the wrong people then, b/c most of my friends who got laid many, many times say: "You're not missing much".

Perhaps you are misunderstanding me. I'm not talking about regular Joe Average, not a big hit with the ladies, maybe he's a little shy, he's going to college next year and he's a virgin.

When I'm talking about the people who have no clue what they're talking about, I'm talking about this guy:

Originally Posted by soniclover

A question for some of the people in this thread.

How old is too old to not have an STD? Since the sex is so good to keep risking getting it. How old should I be to have my first STD?

I know how easy it can be to take things seriously because you have something in common with the more, shall we say, extravagant people. But I think it's safe to say that I'm not talking about you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

So, I have no clue what I'm talking about, eh?..or possibly you just don't agree with what I'm saying.

And this all started because I made that "the Vast Majority of people are sex crazed" comment, eh?

Just a question for you, a lurker. What's your definition on 'sex crazed'? (This question isn't meant to start or continue a fight either)

FELIPE NO

LOL, It was more of a joke actually, however I understand what you mean now.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by soniclover

So, I have no clue what I'm talking about, eh?..or possibly you just don't agree with what I'm saying.

And this all started because I made that "the Vast Majority of people are sex crazed" comment, eh?

Just a question for you, a lurker. What's your definition on 'sex crazed'? (This question isn't meant to start or continue a fight either)

You're sixteen. You are by definition speaking out of your ass.

Furthermore it's alarming how much you're hung up on other people's sex drives. This is a very important topic to you, I guess, but it's making me uncomfortable.

that is my answer to your question, in case you had difficulty interpreting it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1. No, you didn't really answer the question. You just tried to avoid the question.

2. If it's making you uncomfortable, then why do you keep posting in the topic.

3. You really don't know what "speaking out of your ass" is. I still stand by my original post that started this in the first place. I'm curious to know if you just read the "Vast majority are sex crazed" part or if you actually read what I posted before it as well.

Just so you know, it's not that hard to figure out the Human mind and what the body craves. Physiology has always been a nice interest of mine. It's not that hard to pick up on human being's reactions to things such as sex.

Of course, why am I actually putting up this conversation with someone with a typical response like

Quote:

"The people who say that do not know what they are missing, and it is hilariously obvious."

I'm so totally hurt.

There's nowhere I can't reach.