Pregnant teen needs help! (The sequel)

For those of you who want the full story see the Pregnant teen needs help! thread.

Those who have read or posted on that thread will know what I am talking about.

In a nut-shell my cousin is pregnant again, the good news though is she left the jerk Chris. This child is due in January, and like her first baby, she is smoking this one too. She has her own place, but still has no job. She is living off of the government baby bonus. Chris does not come over to see his child and he cannot be made to pay child support because he too has no job and is living off of welfare.

Here is what I want advice about. While I understand that she will not be able to work full time until the second baby is born, she needs to start relying on herself a little more. She down right refuses to leave the town she is in (Trust me... there is zero opprotunity there) she says she does not want to leave her mom at all, she has to stay close to her. My cousin has just turned 20 and she is still pulling at the hem of her mother's dress as if she was 6.

I have tried explaing to her my experiences, I graduated from college and moved from home at age 19, it was hard at first, but I had to leave in order to get a job and life for myself, I am now 25 with my own house and getting married next year. I am not at all expecting her to do the same, but I think she should stop relying on her mom so much.

What do you all think? I am not really sure that to do about this situation.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You raise a very good pont Traveller87, however my aunt really wants her to move out and become more self reliant, my cousin is very difficult to live with, she won't pull her own weight around the house.

My cousin has always been the person that says "I am old enough to do what I want and you can't stop me" since she was 13. While this is true on many senses, our family always provided positive advice to her, yet she contiuned to reject it and dig herself deeper into the hole she is in now. I guess there is really not much I can do but leave it up to her. I still continue to talk to her once in a while, but I feel that I am all out of advice that I can give her.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by LordsSword

As anyone would guess, my take on this is get God in on the action with prayer.
All of your actions were good ones yet you are merely human. Plus she doesnt need you like the rest of her support system.
Even if you have given Him a chance before and things didnt work the way you wanted try again.

I think my cousin needs to act more then pray. I haven't gotten along with the Christan god very well, which is why I am a pagan.

How ya doing, buddy?

Ha ha! Actually I have been iching to ask her why they did not use condoms. I heard that she was on the pill but I am not sure if it was true. This is her second child with this jerk, and it is his third, he was not happy when she told him that she was pregnant both times.

If he really did not want more kids, why didn't he use comdoms. Guess they where both absent minded.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Traveller87

Do you really think she got pregnant a second time by accident? She took a chance, and she knew what she was doing.

Actually both kids where accidents, while she still loves her current child as well as the second one when it arrives, she clearly did not know what she was doing, she said she was willing to deal with her current child, but she admitted it herself that she did not want to get pregnant again and said "I guess I will have to deal with it when the time comes"

Not using the pill or getting her boyfriend to use condoms was the really dumb part, he is either really good in bed, or she just never said no when he wanted it. I am not sure I really want to know at this point cuz neither made any responsible decisions in the first place.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Just thought I let everyone know that she had her baby and it's another girl, she was 7 pounds and my cousin had her just a half-hour after arriving at the hospital.

Right now my cousin is living with her mom which is understandable seeing that she has a newborn and a 1 year old, she is gonna need some help, but I am willing to bet that it's gonna be years before she decides to move again.

I am not sure if the father was there at the hospital, I forgot to ask, it's not really my business anyway what he does although I would be dissapointed if he did not show up.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?