[Amusing] Fixing a broken Wii.

So hey guys, I took a fat fucking dump in my wii. I took it apart, see, and I just shit ALL OVER IT.

Why did I do this? I saw a video. I was told that filling the Wii with fecal matter would allow it to have 8 wiimotes connected at once! I don't have 8 wiimotes, and no games will ever use that many, but I took preemptive action and did it anyway, just in case!

But something bad happened! Now my wii smells like poo, and it doesn't even work. It's strange! I followed the video tutorial EXACTLY! So I took the wii to a friends house, and thought it might be the sensor bar causing the problem! But it wasn't!

So how to I fix the Wii?I heard puring bleach on it will take the smell out, but I dunno how to fix the other problem!

And you know what else? I phoned Nintendo customer support! I phoned them, and this weird guy with an Irish accent (at least I think it was Irish, the call was directed to Japan! Those fucking kilt wearing bastards!) was a total idiot! It says no where that pooping in your Wii is a violation of the warranty! What kind of crap is that?

This Wii is too expensive to flat out replace! It's like, 800000 Canadian dollars!

By the way is there any homebrew on the old Game and Watch Galleries?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

If I post it, I'm afraid some people who shall remain nameless will try it and just get the method wrong though! We don't need more people ruining their purchase!

(Or that of a family members)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, my diet for the last day consisted of spicy nachos, corn chowder, some brownies, a significant amount of milk, pancakes, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

My poop size was approximately 18 grams, and I would estimate that it had a size of 10 cubic centimeters.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

But I saw a video man, how the hell could I do it wrong? He made it look so easy. Just contract the ass muscles and away you go.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?