Losing belief

I'm still in a transition period deciding what I believe in. I haven't found an organized religion that I beleive in yet, and I doubt I will. I was raised lazy-Christian (did secular easter and christmas, but never went to church), so religion wasn't an important aspect of my upbringing. In high school I decided I was athiest because it was the cool hip thing to do, but I'm starting to re-think that now that I'm in college. What really turned me back to Christianity, or any sort of religion was taking an art history class. Learning about and seeing images of the cathedrals, tapestries, paintings, frescoes and stained glass windows really got me thinking about how people can be inspired to create things so spectacular and awesome because of their beliefs in a fictional character.

And I dunno, Believing that there's nothing out there and that we're alone in the world isn't very fun. I'm not hoping that there's life after death or an omnipotent deity watching over my every move, judging my actions, I'm just hoping that there's something cool an interesting that we're not seeing. So right now I tell people that I don't believe in a deity or messiah, but I believe in some kinda energy or power that balances everything out in the end. (I realized recently that that sounds a lot like the force, so I sometimes say I should just join the church of the Jedi :P)

And my beef with some atheists is that they're not realy atheists, they're just anti-christian. They go "OH YEAH, LIKE NOAH COULD BUILD AN ARK PSHHHH THAT'S NOT REAL" or "YEAH RIGHT JESUS CAME BACK HAHAHA WTF WORLD BUILT 7000 YEARS AGO??? THAT'S CRAZY. THERE IS NO GOD." I mean, come on. And I hate hate HATE HATE RAAAAGE HATE the kind of Atheist who tries to force their beliefs onto others. At the club fair last year, they had a table set up with a poster that said something like "believe in god? We'll prove you wrong!" It just disgusted me. They're just as bad as the guys who stand on boxes telling everyone homosexuality and women with short hair are going to hell and we all need to repent. (They appear often in the warmer months, it's kinda funny.)

Jam it back in, in the dark.