[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Okiedoke. Thanks!

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Alright then, Pang's got anywhere from three to six crossbows keeping watch on the northeast bridge. He was rather coy on keeping the direction secret, I'm willing to bet that these same crossbows are also watching the northern bridge. Most likely one of the doors have the arrow slits Pang described earlier.

I seriously doubt there is any way for the party to negotiate their way out of this one. We'll probably have to take some hits before the battle even begins. And we're not sure how many enemies there are this time. The last encounter had five, but three escaped, so we could be facing eight enemies at minimum.

If we decide to proceed with this quest, I think we basically have two alternative courses of action:

Storm the Castle
This proposal is to use Tables as mobile shields, and just do a double-move towards any of the doors. At least we'll have +2 to hit due to cover. If I'm reading the rules correctly, running triggers opportunity attacks only from melee, and not ranged attackers.

We can also crawl at half speed, since targeting a prone opponent gives a -2 penalty to attack rolls. I'm not sure if these penalties stack. I also doubt Pang will let us crawl while slowly pushing tables without some kind of skill check, because the thought of five sweaty adventurers squirming like worms, while pushing a table above them, is rather ridiculous.

We will have to decide which bridge to storm. To do that I think we need to find out where the bolts are coming from (maybe Acer can have better luck with perception, and he can maybe use Skittering Sneak to scout), and then assault the other bridge. Alternatively, Glock can also repeat the stunt he pulled earlier to guage for quantity and direction.

Trickery
Instead of having to go to them, have them come to us. This would entail Cal shapeshifting into one of the kitchen thralls, don the disguise, and try to persuade the duergar that the party is sleeping in the kitchen after eating Rundarr for lunch. And so now would be a good time to attack them, since they'll be caught unawares.

Given the state of high alert, I am not very sure of success. For one, Pang might not even allow the Bluff check. For another, he may not agree to send over the duergar to our fort where we can ambush them, since he's supposedly punishing us for taking an extended rest.

Thoughts?

FELIPE NO

Hmmm... good question.

Pang, are there any windows facing the bridges from any of the two forts?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Post 3246 and 3247 were so damn amusing, I spent like 2 minutes laughing.

Skills, you owe me a new monitor.

I'm so glad Pang decided to just add windows instead of saying they were painted on like a wall mural for aesthetics.

_______

Psst Pang, now that the book is irretrievable, what WAS it?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Huh, I guess it really WAS a foul book. That teaches you to make zombie butlers and stuffs.

Glock was right all along. Who knew?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

=O

I'm doing something! I'm doing something! It's the rest of these guys who're just standing around throwing/doing things at windows that don't face the bridge

No evil floating demonic eyes in Final Fantasy please, oh wise, kind, gentle, and MERCIFUL DM!

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Also, in another retcon, I totally just picked up Delic's light shield and the other provisions mentioned prior, because I recalculated the encumbrance and the overall weight seemed to have been overstated by 18 pounds

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I did lay down what I wanted to do in this post. Just waiting for the rest of you to either agree with it or propose some other course of action

Anyway, if that's what you folks are waiting for, here is my plan:

1. Find out where the bolts are coming from. Already doing this.
2. Blind them with Garrmondo's firebombs in conjunction with Gordok's pyrotechnics.
3. Turtle up and run past the bridge farthest away from the archers. Actually, if Pang agrees to give us superior cover due to table + shield, just chaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge.
4. Epic battle. I'd like to make sure that (1) no duergar escapes and (2) at least 1 duergar is left alive for me to harvest beard quills from us to interrogate.

Oh, and a question for readied actions, for the experienced players. How long is a readied action effective? For example, if I ready an action to shoot at anyone who tries to retreat, will it trigger seven rounds later?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I can't help it if my first exposure to role-playing games is Final Fantasy

I was speaking idiomatically.

Aye aye, folks. Cal ain't going nowhere. His melee attack sucks anyway.

I look forward to armadillo bowling time!

Let the record show I first posted my plan 5 days ago, for correction and discussion

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You know what, longbow while prone does sound ridiculous ... although I do that for defense and not offense. But eh, I got a couple of meatshields in front, so

Edited.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Especially now that he threw out a perfectly good longsword in favor of a specialized weapon that sounded fancier.

Bah, that was a cheap-ass longsword anyhoo. I was referring to my character's piss-poor strength stat. Now if there are any melee attacks that use dexterity...

Also, a question. What kind of checks do we make if we want to pick up opponents and toss them over the bridge?

FELIPE NO

Dang. I was hoping an acrobatics check would also qualify.

So, what DC number do we have to surpass to get a successful bull rush with these opponents? Or is that a DM secret?

Theurge. Mistress of the Dark Arts. I don't like the sound of that.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

That was beautiful

Pang must be sobbing right about now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Do you propose, dear Zergrinch, when Acer tells me of his cunning plan (as he was fool enough to do), that I do not immediately act to minimize its impact?

There are 19 more enemies in the structure.

Do ration your resources accordingly.

Nineteen monsters? Oh dear.

Have mercy man. People would start to think you're actively trying to kill us


Most amazing jew boots

Tide of Iron: 8 + 12 = 20 vs 20 (tie). Is that a hit?

Also, I has a request! Do leave one duergar alive, for harvesting and interrogation purposes.

Checklist:
__ Slaves
__ Cow Men
__ What happened to three orc strikers? Didn't see their corpses or anything when examining the western fort.
__ Who are the other Defenders

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

O you know, the other 19 monsters you've got hidden within this dungeon. I mean even the lowliest duergar scout would know who's who in the joint. He might even be able to give us the overall layout of the fort, and where his comrades are hiding

You're cooking up in-story reasons why whichever duergar we try to interrogate wouldn't know such things, aren't you?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Voting for B of course, assuming you mean fatal non-survivable drops to the death

What kind of dice will that be? Athletics or acrobatics? Or just a plain 1d20 with 11+ for success?

I was speaking idiomatically.

3 Dice Rolls Let's roll the 1s out of this

Nah Devo, Pang already uses that sound effect when he kills players. I believe he used it just once, albeit unwillingly.

Might I humbly suggest the use of the Goofy Holler instead?

YouTube Video

And I'm sure that B only applies if you are shifted, pushed, or otherwise thrown off precipices involuntarily. Gabriel rode the toboggan on his own free will.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Time for some newbie questions about opportunity attacks, more specifically on how they are triggered. I guess I'm just curious why Helga wasn't subject to one from both Gordok and Gheth. Especially since she used an area attack while adjacent to Gheth...

Does it happen any time a creature moves from a square adjacent to an enemy, regardless of final destination, or are "squeeze-move past" actions like the one Helga took immune? Also, do ranged attackers get to have opportunity attacks at all?

FELIPE NO

I'm still brushing up on manual-fu, so your inputs are undoubtedly valuable!

This is unlikely to happen to my character, who is a ranged fighter. But I'm just curious as to how many opportunity attacks you're legally allowed per round. One? Two?

Did she shift? She moved by two squares (the flavor text said she 'squeezed', which tells me she took a move action first, since I'm not quite sure you can shift into someone's space), then maybe shifted diagonally to AB-1. So I guess both Gheth and Gordy have combat advantage during their opportunity attacks, since the target is squeezing?

In any case, this should leave Helga unable to take a major action unless Pang spends an action point, yes?
And even if she could shift two spaces due to some magical winged shoes, her area attack should still attract an opportunity attack from Gheth, right?

Most amazing jew boots

Ffttt, and after all that, Gheth misses by 2. Stupid dice

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I kinda assumed that diplomacy is a free action (since it's all talk and stuffs). Is it a major action?

Don't mean to step on Glock's toes or anything

There's nowhere I can't reach.

@Hawkeye: She fired the close burst first, before moving. That probably leaves Pang clear although I wish he applied the AC penalty for squeezing but I guess we can't win them all huh

@Skills: Ok, standard it is then. If you successfully diplomated this, it's much more useful than what I was attempting (plus yeah you got 7 fuck math +9 diplomacy on Cal)

From now on, this is my mental image of Glockenspiel McSteelChest

YouTube Video

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Pang's calling in reinforcements! Again. Oh whatever shall we do?

Skills? Skex?

Most amazing jew boots

How often should we take naps then

I was speaking idiomatically.

Happily both Scouts also have ranged weapons equipped, sooooo...

I've expanded the max HP in my informal chart to 180, which, I think was the max I've seen for this scenario (Rundarr). Since we've not been able to bloody Helga or any duergar guard yet, I dunno what their max HP is. But I doubt they'll be anywhere near Rundarr.

Shall we murder Scout A first before moving on to the others? That way we cut off one line of retreat, since we've established I can't take AoO. Granted, Helga and the guard could always retreat eastwards; hopefully there isn't a route to their pet Gorg from there.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

No problem. I'm fairly certain that if Skills and Garr focus attack on the scout, he'll be dead in two turns (dice willing). But then again, if Helga doesn't have appreciably more HP than a scout, she'd probably be dead too.
With her multi-target attacks, she's currently the most dangerous. Still, if we can help it, I think we should try to prevent any duergar from escaping. We certainly didn't need the extra aggravation of this encounter being harder than usual

I'd like to add that Pang was merciful enough to hold two combatants back, though

possibly it was in response to Acer/Skill's devious plan.

as a result of the Rundarr battle escapes.

Pangy, I have several questions (regarding doors mostly actually I'll just ask a whole bunch in one go):

1. It seems that there's a door in X-3. If used as a barricade, how much punishment can it take?
2. What kind of actions are (a) opening (b) closing, and (c) barricading doors?
3. If, after killing Scout A, Cal uses double-move + run to go beyond V2 (in an attempt to flank Helga via AA2), how far will he end up after one turn?
4. Do beds provide cover?
5. You mentioned that kruthik teeth carry toxins. If I use them as improvised stabbing knives, what status effects (besides poison) might they inflict?
6. Helga has made nothing but area/close attacks. What kind of weapon is she currently wielding: staff, rod, warhammer, crossbow, bare-handed?
7. Why do you penalize stinginess thrift by constantly destroying Cal's arrows ;___;

Also!

I have been looking through the Adventurer's Vault, and am covetous of things I cannot hope to afford. I have made the following wish list

, which of course you have no obligation to fulfill. Still, I post it in the vain hope that you might be otherwise moved to add one of these to any future loot which we might fortuitously stumble upon!

And yet another edit!

Shall we just open the door and see what huge thing lurks behind? Based on Pang's description, it's gotta be big, is neither dwarven nor a beast (since it understands Common), and distantly related to orcs - maybe an ogre of some sort.
If not, then we might want to physically block the exit. I think Pang's positioning the Duergar Guard to make a run for it once Helga dies, opportunity attacks from Gheth be damned.
And finally, do you folks want to take a 5-minute rest after the battle, or do we immediately see if we can assist the orcs in the next room?

FELIPE NO