friends dictating terms on friendship

This is going to sound over-simplified, but I don't really see the point in dressing it up.

Bipolar or not, if this guy is ever going to function in society, he's going to have to get himself in check, and you're not doing him any favors by walking on eggshells with him. Not that you have, but you sound like you're considering doing that in order to appease him.

Unless he is seriously mentally ill with no hope of ever leading a normal life, at some point he's going to have to learn some social skills. To placate him is to be a dishonest, insincere friend. He needs a strong dose of shut the hell up.

P.S. Allowing someone to abuse you is never an option. You don't allow someone to call you a "worthless fuck" -- ever. Have some self-respect, Fjordor.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yes, I do. And it's happened to me, too, but that doesn't make it any less "abuse".

The real abuse is internal, though, and happens when someone says something like that to you and you don't do anything about it. Incidentally, you solve that problem the same way I do - by cutting that person off.

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Well, there's a difference between forgiving someone and letting someone continue to run all over you. You can forgive someone in your heart and understand that people are human and are going to make mistakes sometimes, but once someone has proven themselves to be abusive you're under no obligation to continue to put yourself in harm's way.

In other words, forgiving someone (to me, at least) has more to do with putting aside any hateful feelings about that person than continuing a relationship with them.

Also, I'm big on giving people second chances, but if they've proven time and again that they can't treat me with respect, I simply remove them from my life. It doesn't have to be an ugly scene, and there doesn't need to be any hatred involved. Just...bye-bye.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

God, that would be a hard call. My dad was somewhat abusive to me when I was a teenager, so I've sort of been in that position, but thankfully as I got older he started treating me with more and more respect. Now, I can't even imagine him saying some of the things he used to say to me.

I really don't know what to tell you. I know plenty of people who have had to make the tough decision to distance themselves from their families, though, for that very reason. I guess it's a personal choice. If you feel that it's more important to have those people in your life than to be treated with respect, then I supposed you'll have to just grit your teeth and try not to punch said family members in their huge, gaping maws.

It would be a hard call for me, as well, but I'd probably go with the cutting off option if all else failed. I've personally reached a point in my life where I'm not going to take any more abuse from anyone. I haven't always been like this, trust me. I just reached that point one day, you know? As for non-family treating me like that and getting by with it? The very idea makes me laugh.

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