Dealbreakers

I guess most of you will remember the dealbreakers thread from about a year ago. I decided since we lost everything and it had been a while anyway, I'd start the thread again.

In this thread, discuss the things that are absolute dealbreakers for you in a relationship. For those of you who don't know what I mean, a "dealbreaker" is something that a person does (usually in the very beginning of a relationship, but not always) that causes you to break it off with them for good.

I'll post mine later, but an example would be you're out on a first or second date with someone and you catch them picking their nose and are so horrified that you never go out with them again. Or it could be something less obvious, but still something you just can't handle, like finding out that someone is extremely rude to servers.

What are your dealbreakers?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

OK, the last time I posted my dealbreakers I got in big trouble, but here goes:

- Having no self-confidence...biggest turn-off ever. That's even worse than being stupid, IMO, which brings me to the next item:
- Stupidity. I could never go out with anyone who wasn't intelligent. (When my husband and I first started dating, I wasn't all that attracted to his looks, but he was so smart. <3)
- Smokers. I can't kiss a smoker.
- Cursing a lot. You just don't do that around a lady - call me old-fashioned.
- Bad skin and/or teeth. I'm not extremely picky about looks as long as a guy is comfortable in his own skin, but I draw the line there.
- Rudeness to servers - that says a lot about a person.
- Being dirty. If a guy's hair is greasy or he has long, dirty fingernails, I lose all respect.
- Poor grammar. I don't care if your IQ is 155. If you can't speak properly, don't bother.
- Excessive drinking. Seriously, what kind of guy gets drunk on the first or second date?
- Aviator glasses

Keep in mind that my dealbreakers only apply to brand new relationships. Some of these things (like being dirty) are inevitable. But on a first or second date? Nope.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Shut up, Deni. If I liked big, hairy rude guys and you liked uptight old chicks the planets would align and the world would forever live in harmony. Can't we just get along?

But seriously, I have this thing about aviator glasses.

P.S. I'm not 50. ;_;

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you like and dislike in a mate. Also, there's not a lot you can do about it if you don't like certain traits. Sure, you can try to supress your preferences and hope for the best, or you can just spend the extra time finding someone you don't have to work your ass off to like, which is (I believe) a better option.

If you happen to be pickier than most, well that's your problem. You'll just have to be happy with the fact that it's probably going to take you longer than most to find your ideal mate.

EDIT: I really didn't want to turn this thread into a debate of whether dealbreakers should exist. It's a thread where you LIST your dealbreakers. And if you don't have any, then you're a pathetically desperate loser with no standards who will take anyone he can get.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

You'll notice that everyone's list includes an explanation of why they hate that particular thing, so that rules out spam.

And yes, there's definitely such a thing as being too picky. I can personally tolerate a lot more distasteful characteristics in someone I'm not going to be having sex with, but that's just me.

Also, I have two more things to add to my list, and I can't believe I forgot these:

- Someone else already mentioned it, but someone who is too clingy/calls too much/dotes on me constantly/seems obsessed. It's too icky.
- I couldn't date someone with a "grill." (Wow. I sound really white.)

I was speaking idiomatically.

You're missing the point.

The point of a dealbreaker is that it's something you can't overlook. Of course it's important to focus on the positive, and it's a fact that if all you concentrate on in a relationship are the negatives it's never going to work, but dealbreakers are basically hurdles YOU PERSONALLY can't overcome enough to get on with a relationship in the first place.

Are you honestly trying to say that there's nothing a girl could say or do on a first or second date that would make it so that you had no interest in dating her again?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You didn't answer my question.

FELIPE NO

So you do have dealbreakers. Yours just aren't as "petty" as mine. Also, I already said that (to me) looks aren't necessarily a dealbreaker.

The point of this thread is to find out what everyone's are. If yours are so much more meaningful, that's fine. But for heaven's sake, post them and stop bitching about mine.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Hydra

My guy picks his nose and has bad breath

You must be so proud.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Rydia

Someone with an excessively foul mouth. There's no reason to
let out swear words when simply engaging in everyday conversation.

Well, I hope you're happy! You just ruled out Denicalis!

My list keeps getting longer and longer...how I ever found a husband is beyond me, but I just thought of another one:

Someone who isn't a gentleman. For instance, if we went to a restaurant and he walked ahead of me and didn't hold doors, or ordered before me, or just dropped me off without walking me to the door afterward. That might not be a dealbreaker, but I PROBABLY wouldn't go out with him again, unless he was pretty much perfect otherwise.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Hydra

Has anyone thought about what might be a dealbreaker about you? Anyone here have unbearable hygiene and know they need to change? Not to derail the topic of course, but as a footnote.

Ooooh, fun! Yes, I've spent a great deal of time thinking about that, and I am guilty of tons of things that some guys would HATE.

I am horribly old-fashioned, I'm vain, I overspend, I flirt with other men, and I probably talk too much.

Originally Posted by nadienne

You know, if this were real life, your obsession with him would undoubtedly end with you two fucking. Large amounts of conflict usually lead to large amounts of sexual tension.

Now that would be hilarious, although I'd have to turn off every light in a 10-mile radius and he'd probably smother my bitchy ass with a pillow afterward.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What movie?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Reznor

Apparently you're not only a cunt, but you're dumb as AIDS.

I said "MOVE".

Oh shit. My bad. It's past my bedtime and apparently I've lost my ability to read.

Quote:

Go up and read my post. Maybe put on your glasses, you crotchety old hag.

FYI - I am crotchety and old, but I'm not a hag. Get your facts straight if you're going to insult me.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Reznor

Do you think I care about what you are or aren't? Do you think I'd honestly take the time to get to know you?

Psshaw, you're worthless.

HAHAHA! As if I'd let you get to know me if you wanted to.

This is LeHah's schtick, and you're going to have to come up with some other insults besides "dumb cunt" if you're going to keep up with him. You've worn that one out, dickless.

Now post your dealbreakers or GTFO.

How ya doing, buddy?

I would say Rasputin, but he didn't hate me. =/

Anyway, if you're openly admitting to being banned, why are you still here?

FELIPE NO

It's definitely not VG. He's my home fry.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Who the shit is Ritley? I think I would have at least heard of someone with this much hatred toward me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Capo

I'm pretty sure it's Pom guys. Isn't it obvious?

How is it obvious? Pom was waaaay more eloquent and articulate than this dipshit.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Merv Burger

lol that's a lie.

You're not underage.

That's how I know I'm safe!

Sorry, VG.

How ya doing, buddy?

I went out with this dentist a few times who I wasn't at all attracted to but let's face it - he was a dentist.

Anyway, he had this SUPER annoying habit of dropping brand names. Like he'd call me and say some cheesy-assed line like, "What do you say I drop by and we'll take a little spin in the Miata?" or "I'm just gonna go home and change out of these scrubs and into my Tommy Bahamas and I'll be right over."

Dumpsville, population one (him).

How ya doing, buddy?

I just thought of another dealbreaker. A guy who asks me out on a date and is then too cheap too much of a progressive thinker to pay for the thing.

Most amazing jew boots

In that case, I would fully expect to pay. But I'd never ask a guy out.

Oh and also, you don't repulse me. It just seems that we have completely different opinions on everything.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You do realize that traditionally men have paid for dates, right? I believe this practice originated back when men were pretty much always the breadwinners, but it's still something that a lot of the more traditional women expect. I'm of the opinion that whoever asks the other person out is responsible for paying the bill. If there's any uncertainty at all about who did the asking, I think the man should step up and pay. It's just good manners. And just because you didn't technically "ask" someone out, doesn't mean that you weren't the pursuer.

Keep in mind that I'm only talking about the first few dates. In an established relationship where both people have jobs, I don't think it's fair that one person has to always pay for everything.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by SMX

You do realize that it was also 'tradition' for women to submit to and obey men, don't you?

I still believe that. I wouldn't be married to a man who didn't respect and ask for my input on things, but most of the time when we disagree on something, I defer to him since he is the head of the household. There are times when I dig my heels in, and when I do that he knows I mean business, but as a general rule, I trust his ability to make decisions. It's one of the reasons I chose him.

Quote:

It was also 'tradition' and 'good manner' for us black folk to not even think about touching a white women.

I don't think interracial relationships are such a great idea, and not because one race is better than another. More for the same reasons that I don't believe that having a relationship with someone outside your religious faith is a good idea. Too many cultural differences.

Basically, you and I have COMPLETELY different beliefs. There's no point in either of us trying to change the other's mind. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I have considered the possibility.

As far as the inbreeding goes, my bloodline is just too superior. I couldn't risk tainting it with inferior blood by marrying outside the family.

Jam it back in, in the dark.