[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

If Brady and Deni are playing, this looks like it could be fun. I played D&D a bit until we got hold of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay but I spent a good few years playing that and Rifts so, yeah, count me in.

Two fighters so far so I'll be a wizard, an elf one at that. My character is called Scary Bob and dreams of becoming a necromancer one day and raising an army of the undead to do his bidding, mainly because when he was growing up the other elves thought he was weird and wouldn't play with him. Athough he added the monicer "Scary" himself, he dreams of one day being known far and wide as something like Bob the Mentalist or Bob the Despoiler. Wears a lot of black and eyeliner.

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After some fairly stressful searching, I have finally found the perfect representation of what my character looks like:



Also, if possible can I have some kind of lightning spell so I can recreate the last battle in Return of the Jedi as often as possible?

How ya doing, buddy?

The outfit's a bit grown-up for VG don't you think? VG is more like this:



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You've never seen a grown man dressed as a woman having a shit before?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

All looks good to me. I assume an "E" type spell is a once per encounter affair? Also, I think we should take it as read that I'm pretty much constantly using Ghostsound to make Deni sound like he's farting whenever we're in polite company, or in fact any company that isn't likely to kill us if we're not quiet.

Also, to maintain the illusion of a band of unlikely companions off on a jolly adventure, I'm not reading anyone else's character sheets so I'll be constantly surprised and delighted by your various feats of martial prowess and other skills.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Yeah, "E" for once-per-encounter, "D" for once-a-day, "AW" for at-will (unlimited)

Cool, I thought that was it.

A friend of mine when GMing always used to start "You're in a pub". When we asked where the pub was or how we got there or even how our characters met his answer was always that none of us could remember but it must have been quite a night. Back story never was his strong point but it was a convenient device for manouvering the party to right outside the castle he wanted us to explore.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Beard Overflow

There is a note on my character sheet, Shin, and it says "Thinks Scary Bob and his masacara is sort of a poncey git."

Protip: Replace Scary Bob with Shin, and Mascara with "not funny comments" and you have my opinion of you.

There's a note on mine that says "People with beards are gay". It applies equally to real world and roleplaying situations.

"Denicalis (aka Gaybrial Manrammer) uses Dildo of Male Sodomy +2 on self, gains Class skill Flaming homo for duration of the encounter, loses -2 Str, -2 Wis, -10 Self respect"

FELIPE NO

What? I'm character setting, I'll no doubt get bored of all that nonsense within about four posts. Anyway, Deni started it.

As a matter of interest, what is exactly is in a standard adventurer pack? I'm guessing rations, rope, lockpicks, a tinderbox, distress flares, a cloak of invisibility, C4, water bottles, a sleeping mat and five heavily armed and well trained henchmen, right?

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Would I be right in assuming that if you start firing spells or arrows into melee combat there's a chance you'll hit the wrong person?

How ya doing, buddy?

I kinda prefer playing without paying too much attention to the technicalities. Means you act more like your characters, rather than preforming some maths exercise each round to determine your best attack statistically and so on. I once played a Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay campaign where the GM wouldn't let us see our character sheets. One guy knew he was pretty strong, someone else knew that their dagger seemed to almost have a mind of its own and would guide his hand when he was fighting with it and we all had various potions that the shop keeper assured us would heal any ailment. Was pretty amusing all told.

Also, I'm hoping that Scary Bob's usefulness as a mage will ride out his more annoying character traits and keep him safe from the other party members. He doesn't mind using magic to open doors if Augmentus ever gets bored of being trap-fodder and I'm sure he'll realise the others aren't zombies he raised in a drunken stupor eventually. He might even develop the ability to understand dwarven accents at some point but I wouldn't hold your breath for that one.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Beard Overflow

Dwarves are an analogy for black people to you, aren't they Shin.

Northerners moreso. That every dwarf ever to receive a voice over has a Sheffield accent doesn't help that image any.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You never said what was actually on it though, did you? I thought it might have clues or something, I dunno.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Good idea. I'm going up to London in a couple of hours and won't be back until tomorrow morning. If a fight kicks off after you open the door and you want to progress it, assume I shoot an arrow at the first thing through the door then I'll cower in the corner until it's all over. I appreciate that being in a vastly different time zone to most of you guys I won't be here a lot of the time when you all are so if you're in a hurry to get things moving at any point, just keep me trailing along with the group. I imagine the pace will drop a bit after a few days though.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Right, that's me done for the day. Commence the cowering. Should you guys decide to let the goblins come to you rather than rushing in, I'll break from the cowering to cast Cloud of Daggers in the doorway, otherwise I'll be quite happy behind my table thanks.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm back now, as and when Knk has moved.

FELIPE NO

Advanced Hero Quest was an awesome game, normal Hero Quest less so. The advanced version included rules for solo play too so you didn't even need any friends!

I'm sure our fervour will subside and we'll all start playing a little slower soon. You know how it is with the excitement of new toys though.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Skexis

(I must admit my vest looks thoroughly pimpin, though.)

Ha ha, very nice. Mine's kevlar:

Spoiler:

How ya doing, buddy?

And one would imagine that eventually, they'd run out of javelins, unless we started throwing them back of course.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by AniMechanic

Hard to say for sure since I am not the DM, but I have a feeling Shin forgot that no one speaks goblin.

If you speak loud and slow enough they'll understand you, much like speaking to dwarves.

And technically, given a bit of time to set up the ritual, Scary Bob can speak Goblin.

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Having thus far escaped injury and not needed to use it, can someone explain to me what that health surge business is all about please?

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Originally Posted by Beard Overflow

Fucking knew that opening the door was going to be a bad idea.

And yet Zeph's just done exactly the same thing. Bracing for two-pronged attack...

Additional Spam:
Pang, I think Knk's last post was a forward instruction for his turn, move forward 5 spaces, which makes it the other Dire rat's turn.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Not that I particularly want to fight it at the same time as the rats, but wouldn't the slime have seen the dead goblins and gone and eaten them? They're barely five minutes dead so they'd still be pretty warm.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Can I cast Cloud of Daggers again before the other one dissipates?

If so, I will please, if not cast Ray of frost at them. I'm off to bed now though.

FELIPE NO

Would taking a shit count as a major action in a combat round?

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Originally Posted by Denicalis

Well I can only avoid gay mock flowery speech for so long in a D&D game!

I knew your dwarf was gay.

Jam it back in, in the dark.