[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Just becuase he's using that now, doesn't mean he wouldn't trade up if someone offered us a PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT. Imagine the look on the orc's face when he unsheathes his Mordenkrad only for Gabriel to casually lean back and say "That's not a hammer, this is a hammer" before drawing his PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT and smashing the little shit into a fine mist using a hammer the size of a fucking horse shaped like a dragon's arsehole. I mean, maybe we could let him live just so he could go back to his orc buddies and he'd be all like "Hey guys, I just got the living shit kicked out of me yo. You know I had that Mordenkrad yeah and I thought I was pretty badass right coz, you know, it's named after my favourite Swedish death metal band, so I attacked this bunch of dudes right and this one dwarf, I swear to God he had a hammer the size of a fucking horse man! No shit, and get this right, it was shaped like a dragon having a shit so when he hit me, it was like being hit by a dragon's arsehole and he was shouting HEY BAD GUY, EAT ASS all the time he was hitting me. I tell you guys, most. awesome. mother. fucking. hammer. EVER! You do not want to fuck with these guys, trust me on this". So then word gets around the dungeon pretty quick that you don't want to mess with Scary Bob and his horde because of the dwarf with the fucking hammer the size of a HORSE, shaped like a DRAGON taking a SHIT and everyone avoids us after that. If we keep a good look out for traps it's pretty much plain sailing to the exit.

Man, I hope we find a PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT soon.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Animechanic

Ooooh, eternal chalk can come in any color. Give them a green one, Pang! How else will Argumentus draw his favorite flavors of fungus and mold?

How about instead of eternal chalk we could get A PAINT POT AND BRUSH OF SENTIENT PAINTING +4. This would be a magic pot of paint and a brush which would float along behind us, transcribing our heroic deeds in the form of murals on the walls. Our passing would be marked forever in a perpetually updating Bayeuxesqe montage, transforming the otherwise dull dungeon into a veritable Sistine Chapel in honour of the party.

Man, you need to think bigger mate. Free yourself from the constraints of the humdrum rule book and let your imagination soar on flights of fancy! If people had always limited themselves to the rule book, would Gallileo ever have pondered that the Earth might not be centre of the universe? Would the Wright brothers ever have believed a heavier than air craft could fly? Would Babbage ever have thought you could get a machine to do your adding up for you? Would Steve Jackson ever have written a book wherein you choose your own adventures? No, no, no and no. Rulebooks are the enemy of free thought and innovation my friend. Cast yours aside and just see what wonderous things you can invisage.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Animechanic

Yeah, nevermind. I just realized Deni's using one-handed weapons with a shield. I guess I just assumed he had a maul because of his character name.

You do know that technically a maul is any hammer with a shaped edge at one end and as such, can be either one or two handed right? Your statement makes no sense.

FELIPE NO

Jesus, you guys have got to learn to start shifting rather than running out of combat.

Didn't someone have a healing potion? In fact, it might even be Bob. If I pour it down Soggy's throat will he recover?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

There's no point springing through a secret door, yelling "AHA!" and then trying to reason with people is there?

Blood for the blood god!

Edit: Although ironically it looks like Bob is technically the most diplomatic of the group...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yeah, how about some diplomacy to the FACE.

Actually I feel kinda bad that Pang probably spent ages rolling up an Orc leader and dveloping a proper back-story and everything for him, only for him to be butchered in a frenzied, unprovoked surprise attack in what's looking like a single round of combat with barely a chance to even think of any last words, let alone say them.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was thinking that as the other corridor off the room we met lurker in clearly leads to where we are now, we could have sent a couple of people round that way and gone for a smooth pincer attack or something. Wouldn't have killed the orc boss any faster but would have been suave. I guess with the rogue gone we don't benefit quite so much from flanking moves any more though.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - MERCILESS

"Kill an enemy leader in less than two turns without him causing any damage"

If you hadn't reminded us about action points that would have taken a whole lot longer.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Bradylama

woops, I made color commentary in the wrong thread

don't send "the Guild" after me

As penance it can be your turn to update the wiki article next.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I dunno, a little responsibility here and there might improve his sense of self-worth and stop him making these rash mistakes in future.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

That wolf next to Bob and Gabriel is dead right?

Most amazing jew boots

I'm going to laugh if after all that carnage the wolf kills Soggy.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's ok lurker, we understand that some RPers are all about the dice.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm not sure Bob's strong enough to pick up a goblin. The description for ghost hand says you can't use t to attack people so I imagine throwing goblins around is a no go.

Also it's nice to see that Skills is still trying his gardest to claim Acer's crown as most frequent abuser of mod powers. I might make an announcement in the Sewers that anyone mentioning planes in a thread in there or refering to themselves as a pilot will earn a weeks ban for disrespecting 9/11.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

There you go mate. You have an entire usergroup all to yourself now, Skills apparently has friends in high places.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

There's a few new fagweek themed usergroups in there today. Any idea what any of them do?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I was hoping we could make a pile of dead orcs in the corner and use that to climb up. Either that or go fetch a couple of doors from the zombie room and make a ramp.

Soggy could have attacked the ork instead of the goblins, it's not like we're likely to let it live are we?

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Please don't kill me"?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Ah well, looks like Deni has made the point moot now anyway, even if he can't tell the difference between orcs and goblins.

FELIPE NO

I was worried the reinforcements might be up on the ledge, as it is they've provided the dwarves with a purpose in life!

Although I'll admit I'm dissapointed we didn't get to see Argumentus tossing one of them onto the ledge.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Did we all get another action point after the orc massacre?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by SCHWARZE-3

Yay, someone got the reference!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

What if he grabs a sharpshooter and Tombstone piledrives it off the ledge? Would that count as his attack then he could amble over to the Skullcleaver for his movement?



Additional Spam:
Also, as a matter of interest, would Bob be better off using his bow then firing frost rays at everything? As far as I can tell, his frost ray does 1D6+6 damage, 4 for his intelligence modifier, 1 for either his staff or wand and 1 for Burning Blizzard feat, a damage range of 7-12. With a bow he does 1D8+3, a damage range of 4-11 which would suggest magic is the way forward but I'm not sure how the rolls to hit are worked out. Magic is intelligence vs Fortitude but bow attacks are dexterity vs AC. Bob's intelligence and dexterity are the same but I have no idea vaguely what we're fighting ever has in the way of fortitude or armour.

Am I working the damage rolls out right and can we take it as read that if Bob misses he uses elven accuracy to re-roll please? That way I'm not so bothered about how likely he is to hit things if he gets a second chance without me needing to jump in before the next person takes a go.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Except Shin's a moderator and has the graphic under his avatar to prove it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

To be fair, I've given up on having a clue who anybody is this week, especially as most people are sporting the crash avatar most of the time.

I was speaking idiomatically.