Snape kills Dumbledore! Harry Potter leaked. [UNMARKED SPOILERS]

19:55 <+Zergrinch> I accidentally clicked on a link that spoiled me on Harry Potter 7
19:55 <+Zergrinch> :(((
19:55 <@Crash> Everyone dies!
19:55 <+CHz> ^
19:55 <@BM|BigLove> yeah my net time is going to be diminishing the more spoilers that people want to throw out
19:55 <@BM|BigLove> h8
19:55 <@Crash> It was all a dream. Harry wakes up in bed next to Bob Newhart.
19:55 <+Zergrinch> !@#!@$!@
19:55 <+CHz> Voldemort eats everyone, then gets severe gastrointestinal distress and dies on the john.
19:55 <@BM|BigLove> no harry still lives with the original family and he dreamed it all up by shaking a snowglobe
19:56 <+Kishin> Hedwig dies
19:56 <@BM|BigLove> harry actually died at the end of book 6, book 7 was hermione after winning the lottery
19:56 <+CHz> Harry gets a sex change and goes on a lesbian sex spree.
19:56 * Zergrinch casts Abracadabra on Crash, killing him
19:56 <+Taco> (19:55:59) (@BM|BigLove) no harry still lives with the original family and he dreamed it all up by shaking a snowglobe <- Saint Elsewhere much?
19:56 <@Crash> The book ends when Harry finally gets to White Castle.
19:56 <@BM|BigLove> ^
19:57 <+CHz> Harry and Ron end up on the run from the police, kiss, and then drive off the Grand Canyon.
19:58 <@Crash> Meanwhile, Hagrid, Flitwick, McGonagall and Sprout all fail to help a man being robbed and wind up in jail.
19:58 <+CHz> Fucking good samaritan laws, I tell you.
19:59 <+Zergrinch> how about Snape and Grubbly-Plank
19:59 <@BM|BigLove> "Harry Potter never returned home."
19:59 <@Crash> Gay lovers, Zerg.
19:59 <+Zergrinch> not so gay then, cuz grubbly is woman!
19:59 <+CHz> "Voldemort" is the name of the sled.
19:59 <@Crash> Really?
19:59 <@BM|BigLove> hahaa
19:59 <@Crash> Ok, fine. Snape and Argus Filch are gay lovers then.
20:00 <+Zergrinch> how about Arabella Figg and Filch's cat
20:00 <+Zergrinch> and Crookshanks
20:00 <@BM|BigLove> Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans is PEOPLE
20:00 <@Crash> They are baked into pies and stolen by Lex Luthor
20:01 * Zergrinch unleashes DOOMSDAY on Voldemort
20:01 <+Zergrinch> y'know one of the chapter titles intrigues me
20:01 <+Zergrinch> must.....resist.......temptation
20:01 <+Zergrinch> to...read.....bittorrent.........leaked..........c opy
20:02 <@BM|BigLove> harry potter is keyser soze
20:02 <@Crash> But then everything is saved when Neville Longbottom meets the princess, gives her a name, and makes a wish on a grain of sand.
20:02 <+Juanzen> Ron died while playing gears of War vs Voldemort
20:02 <@BM|BigLove> darth vader is harry's father
20:03 <+CHz> Harry was actually dead the whole time.
20:03 <+Juanzen> because CHz raped him
20:03 <+Taco> I like the Saint Elsewhere Harry Potter, personally.
20:03 <+CHz> Hot.
20:05 <@BM|BigLove> harry potter will capture the one armed man
20:06 <+Zergrinch> LUNA LOVEGOOD KILLS VOLDEMORT
20:09 <@BM|BigLove> Harry Potter will actually be cancelled before the last book comes out but the writer will give us a movie a couple years later that will make everyone love the original 6 books

Oops, should've put spoiler tags around that. Sorry, guys.

How ya doing, buddy?