You woke my cat!

I have far too many strange neighbour stories. it would seem that no matter where we move to, the neighbour to the right of us (when facing the houses from the street) is some weird little pissbucket.

case #1: obsessive compulsive cleaning guy, otherwise known as mr.clean.

there are far too many stories I could tell you about him. this man would sweep his front porch four times a day at regular intervals, even if nobody had been on it at all. he would organize his recycling bin before putting it out on the curb to be picked up, and then later on would go back out to reorganize it into a more favourable arrangement. my yard had two very large maple trees in it, and occasionally our twigs and leaves would end up in his yard. one day he collected up all the twigs in his yard, bundled them up into what has to be the most orderly bundle of twigs ever made, and then placed it at the base of one of our trees. the man was also beyond painfully shy. one day I was walking back to my house [I was maybe 9 or 10 at the time] and he was in his front yard playing in the snow with his children. the second I came within earshot of them, he full out sprinted back into his house, shut the blinds and did that paranoid peak-out-between-the-vinyl-strips thing. strange, strange man.

case #2: best way to describe them... millennia of human evolution and all we got were these morons.

I'll keep this as brief as possible since I think I covered most of their antics in my journal pre-crash. some of the more noteable characteristics of this family include: excessive consumption of water for trivial things like washing their cars every fucking day, washing their ATVs every fucking day and then revving them up in the driveway at obscene times of the day, watering their lawn even if it had rained every fucking day. sometimes they would even wash thier vehicles IN the rain whilst consuming more of the water supply.

they also had a very noteable obsession with having a lush green lawn. I don't see the point when the yards in that subdivision were about the size of a postage stamp, but that didn't stop them. they would spray harmful chemicals on it to kill weeds and bugs, sometimes they'd even spray our lawn when they thought we weren't home. we didn't care about our lawn beyond the basic upkeeping, so we had some weeds here and there. I used to let my cat out to eat the grass out front, but after discovering that the neighbours had been spraying it with poison, we could no longer do that. they also didn't mind letting their 5 and 7 year old sons run around with spray bottles of weed killer, and never even stopped them when they started spraying it at eachother like they were having a water fight.

also regarding lawns, my brother cut the lawn one night and accidently went about doing so in the wrong direction, so some of our clippings ended up on their side. well they came home that night and in a fit of apparent rage, these two 30 somethings began kicking at the grass clippings with all their might. I have never in my life seen anyone look so angry before, and it was fucking hilarious watching them furiously kick the grass to put it back on our side.

I almost miss them.

case #3: possible extreme antisocialites.

I haven't met most of my new neighbours yet, but the lady who used to own this house told us that everyone on the street is really nice, but nobody likes the neighbours to the right of us. apparently they have a lot of kids, but never ever let them outside, among other weird things. I'm curious to find out what kind of weird habbits they have, since it seems to be a trend that all neighbours to my right are strange.

Jam it back in, in the dark.