Your first kiss?

I would have been in grade 8, I guess. I'd done the whole playful kissing thing before that (I figured out the whole girls kiss the boys thing was nothing to run from, and had a secret expectation that the boys who ran away in earnest were raging gays), but grade 8 was the first time I really kissed someone. There was this girl who's family moved here from Osaka when she like, 3 or something, and she grew up around here and I'd known her on and off--which usually happened, cause every couple years my family moved me somewhere else--and when grade 8 rolled around, I'd come back to Regina for a year or two after being in Ireland. All of a sudden this little asian girl I hung out with and who played road hockey (she was a wicked goaltender, as I recall) alongside had gotten hot, popular and boobs... well, sort of on the last one. Enough to catch my attention as a grade 8, anyway. At any rate, some girl tossed a party when her parents were out of town, so of course everyone starts playing spin the bottle at some point.

I walk into the party late, because I had to wait for my mom to fall asleep before I snuck out, and walk in the door. Asian girl runs up and hugs me, which is cool, because like I said: she grew up nicely. Anyway, about thirty seconds later, I'm grabbing a drink out of the fridge and asian girl runs up to me and puts the bottle on the counter, pointing directly at me. Next thing I know, she grabs my wrist and pulls me into (this is the classy bit) the adjoining laundry room, shuts the door, and I proceeded to take her to Jimmy's Kissing School (props on that, Alice. Quality.) for about 2 hours. My first time kissing a girl was also my first time having my fingers inside of a girl. It was a good day.

As a nice little end point to that story, I hooked up with the girl at a party at the end of highschool, after we randomly just wound up at the same kegger. Well, she told me I was her first kiss, too (damned forward girl for a first timer. I assumed she was a pro at the time.) and that she was leaving for England three weeks after grad to go to school at the LSE. So later that night, she's standing on the patio, and I walked up behind her and took her just emptied drink out of her hand, set the bottle on the little plastic table every patio in canada has, spun it and stopped it while it was pointing at her. She just smiled and offered her hand and I took her wrist and pulled her into the bedroom. Skipping the important bits, I became another first for her and we dated until she left for England; about 6 months. After that, well... things got unfortunate. We split up before she leaves, because it just isn't feasable for us to be together. But in my first year after high school--as I was avoiding university--I went out to England and backpacked around for a while. I'd gotten her address from her parents, and so I got the number and rang her up when I was in London. She invites me over for drinks, so I go to her residence and we chat all night, and wind up making out on her balcony. I go back to see her the next day, and her roommate tells me she's gone over to her fiancee's house, and she'll tell her I stopped by. Last I heard from her, she sent me an e-mail about three months later telling me she was sorry about what happened on her balcony, and that I was then, and always was, a bad idea, and that she never should have kissed me back in grade 8 because it lead to all sorts of trouble for her. Apparently she'd told the fiancee that she had never even been with another guy. In any fashion. Ever. And the roommate told him about me stopping by, and about our history (which I'd told the roommate, not knowing it was a secret) and he'd flipped the fuck out, called off the engagement and it was all my fault. Nevermind that she'd fucked several guys after me, lied to her fiancee, and made out with me without telling me she was seeing anyone, nevermind engaged.

So, what's the moral kids? Don't enroll asian girls to Jimmy's Kissing School in grade 8, because when their fiancee calls off their engagement because she's a lying bitch, she'll blame you for it and all of your mutual friends will think you're an asshole even though you didn't do anything wrong.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Omi-Cron Kenobi

Me too.

That was a hell of a read Deni. It went from sounding like a very special person and time, but it ended badly. Sad.

I have incredibly fond memories of her, but they're sort of dashed against the rocks at this point, yeah.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Monkey King

Just to remind everyone that no matter how bad things get, they could always be worse, I'm reminded that I'm 25 and have never kissed anyone. So if you're obsessing over not having had that first kiss yet, relax.

There are worse things than admitting you're a 25 year old kiss-virgin.

Originally Posted by WolfDemon

I'd fuck my mother. For her age, she doesn't look bad at all. In fact, a few years ago we were having dinner at this Japanese restaurant for my birthday, and the hibachi cook asked if we were a couple. Yeah, she looks that young.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Omi-Cron Kenobi

Haha, Deni was saving that for the right moment. Haha, great use too. I just assumed you said that shit in this very thread, dude.

I was waiting for hours to find the perfect place to use it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by jaw32586

my first kiss was a mistake...save it for someone who is worth it

This is the biggest load of bullshit I've read all day. It's a kiss. It's not like you're talking about something serious. Kiss everyone. Kiss someone. Fuck, just make a connection with someone. If you do one thing with your day, make it a point to do the opposite of whatever jaw advises.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

She kept the gum and I kept the memory. Great trade. To this day, I still use that gum technique if I'm gonna con some girl into making out with me and it works wonders EVERY TIME.

I use that one all the time. It's pure fucking money.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?