For those of you who want the full story see the Pregnant teen needs help! thread.
Those who have read or posted on that thread will know what I am talking about.
In a nut-shell my cousin is pregnant again, the good news though is she left the jerk Chris. This child is due in January, and like her first baby, she is smoking this one too. She has her own place, but still has no job. She is living off of the government baby bonus. Chris does not come over to see his child and he cannot be made to pay child support because he too has no job and is living off of welfare.
Here is what I want advice about. While I understand that she will not be able to work full time until the second baby is born, she needs to start relying on herself a little more. She down right refuses to leave the town she is in (Trust me... there is zero opprotunity there) she says she does not want to leave her mom at all, she has to stay close to her. My cousin has just turned 20 and she is still pulling at the hem of her mother's dress as if she was 6.
I have tried explaing to her my experiences, I graduated from college and moved from home at age 19, it was hard at first, but I had to leave in order to get a job and life for myself, I am now 25 with my own house and getting married next year. I am not at all expecting her to do the same, but I think she should stop relying on her mom so much.
What do you all think? I am not really sure that to do about this situation. |
Alright then. I'm just keeping in mind my own situation into comparison with this particular situation and here's my insight on it. My apologies if anything may seem offensive. I don't mean to be.
I have a child of my own. The mother was 20 when she had him. We too live in an area where there's no oppertunities for good work and even now things are difficult. I try my damndest to do absolutely everything in my power to make sure my son has everything he needs and will need.
Like your situation, the mother refuses to move to a larger area and feels she needs to be close to her family. I can understand that to a degree.
The difference though is we planned our son's birth. We wanted to settle down and start our own family. We wanted to set things for our own independance... which your cousin will need to do or it'll bite her in the ass later. It'll be extremely difficult but she made the decisions. She may be by herself raising her children but she has people around her for advice. If she didn't want the responsibility, she shouldn't have fucked him without some protection.
However, in your situation there isn't much you can do. Everyone will do what they do. You can make suggestions and opinions but that won't make anything happen. She'll just have to learn things the hard way and deal. In my opinion I do think that she should be more dependant and not so reliant. It'll be difficult and an extreme pain in the ass but in the end things will work out.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
85242
35212
