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friends with benefits could turn into...something more serious?
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I poked it and it made a sad sound
Struttin'


Member 24

Level 51.86

Mar 2006


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Old May 31, 2007, 09:29 AM #1 of 34
Don't do it. I would have advised against the whole "friends with benefits" thing in the first place, because the very scenario you describe ends up happening every time. The long and short of it is that you want a relationship, but he doesn't. Unless you really think you have a robot-like control over your emotions, which I'm guessing is not the case, you're better off aborting gracefully while you still can, before it gets all emotionally ugly.
Right on.

Deni and Alice nailed it pretty well. (Though I don't think you're crazy either)

It's not only unfair to yourself, but unfair to him to bring this emotionally any further. You're looking for something he's not looking for. Chances are, you're setting yourself up for emotional devastation, and you'll only have yourself to blame unfortunately. =/

I'd say continue staying friends, but if you can't help yourself from feeling for him in a certain way, perhaps it's best that you distance yourself until you can control those feelings a little more.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
I poked it and it made a sad sound
Struttin'


Member 24

Level 51.86

Mar 2006


Reply With Quote
Old Jun 1, 2007, 09:59 AM #2 of 34
Sometime soonish, tell the man what's on your mind. If he goes for it, hooray. If he doesn't, well, you now have all the reason in the world for a clean break, which I think is a good thing.
I thought I read up there that this Tyler person has already declared the lack of interest in a relationship with her. He doesn't want "commitment."

I don't know. I think since he already made his position clear, she needs to make HER position clear. If the two positions can't be made clear, the entire friendship will dissolve.

Besides - I think her pressuring him would be horrifically bad advice. =/

Also, Tande: I can relate to the whole "getting used to feel loved" thing. I did it when I was really young (and promptly wisened up). You'll find it's absolutely no way to treat yourself.

Whats more important in this world? How YOU feel about yourself or how some other person (who can fade in and out) feels about you? YOU should come first.

How ya doing, buddy?
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