Did you move out yet?

Way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, my mom booted my arse out of the house when I was 18. She took my key before I had even taken the first load of my belongings. About 3 months later she told me she and my stepfather had decided on some rules regarding moving back. They said that once I moved out (which was dumb because I WAS out) I had to stay out for 6 months, and after 6 months I could come back, but I only had one chance to move back ever. Needless to say I would have rather lived in a box than gone back to that attitude, and I never did go back.

Even now at 40 I think it was fucked up, but it has taught me something about how I want my relationship with my kids to be. I want them to grow up to be independent responsible adults, but I don't want them to feel like if things go wrong they don't have a real home to go to.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by a_lurker

Good christ, that's messed up bigtime. I think something similar happened to my mom; she always made it a point to emphasize that, no matter what, her door was always open to me. I understand tough love, but it seems so alien to me that you would take such a hardline approach on your kids, especially if they haven't proven themselves to be a huge fuckup yet.

Anyway, shit is whack.

Yeah, it wasn't fun. Also, since you sort of mentioned tough love, that shit was HUGE in the 80s. My mother decided I needed drug and alcohol rehabilitation (hi capo) when I was 15 because she found out I had gotten drunk a few times and tried pot. She put me in an outpatient program, but all that tough love crap came into play and I had to sign "behavior contracts" outlining the consequences for various infractions.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Lyth

:/

I'm a 21 year old high school dropout with no job. Still live at home with my parents, never lived away from home for anything more than a week, when I was at my brother's dad's house cleaning it up a bit. I don't pay rent or anything either. Basically, my step-dad would love to get me out of the house, but my mother won't let him kick me out.

Don't get me wrong. I'd love to get my GED, a job, driver's license and car, and get my ass out in the work force, but it's hard to even get the funds to start that little journey when you've never had a job and have no experience...

I'm sorry, but what the fuck, man? You are 21 years old and just pissing your life away. Time goes by fast. If you sit on your ass and make excuses why you can't start your life you're going to find yourself middle-aged and wondering what the hell happened. It's no fucking joke. If you don't have the money to pay for getting your GED, then get your ass out there and find a way to earn money. It's spring and there are a whole lot of people needing yard work/home repairs/painting/etc done and if you put any effort into it I am positive you could earn some money creating a job for yourself.

Get off your ass and get your education and do something with yourself.

What the fuck is wrong with people.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Lyth, what I'm not understanding is why you have no experience at 21. How old were you when you dropped out of high school? A lot of people start getting jobs at that age, and since you weren't in class it seems that would have been THE time to get some sort of employment. Have you tried applying for fast food or retail jobs? That's where most people start when they're just trying to get some sort of experience.

Also, why the HELL did your parents allow you to drop out at all?

How ya doing, buddy?

Lyth, that's really too bad. It sounds like you've learned a really hard lesson. Have you checked into what financial aid you might be able to get to help you with your GED and community college? if your family is struggling financially I'd think you would qualify for at least your class fees to be waived. Books can be really expensive but, at least here, at the community college level the professors will leave a copy in the library for students to borrow for a short time. It's not ideal, but it's better to have to make a bunch of annoying trips to campus than to not get the education credits at all.

I do wish you luck.

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Devo - I don't think Lyth is lying, I just think he's gotten himself into a bad situation and is allowing himself to wallow in self-pity instead of fighting his way out. He needs a kick in the ass, and a push toward bettering himself.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?