[Movie] The Twenty Minute Movie: The Way They Really End.

Time to get way too anal and realistic about movies that have an otherwise unreal or fantastic premise!



DIE HARD

Terrorists have closed John McClain off in the elevator shaft. In a desperate move, John "Cowboy" McClain undoes the strap on his machine gun and uses it to descend into a seemingly bottomless air duct. All of the sudden, the strap breaks free of the gun! Oh, fuuuuuck. At the speed he is falling, any hope of catching an open duct with his fingers are dashed faster than you can say Die Hard 2: Die Harder. So long, Roy!


KING KONG (REMAKE)

Naomi Watt's body breaks at the neck and spine as DK shakes her about like a stubborn ketchup bottle.

Adrien Brody is trampled by dinosaurs.



HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS

HONEY I KILLED THE KIDS WITH A RELATIVELY GARGANTUAN BROOM!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Over come with grief at the sight of his murdered koala, Ford hangs himself around the neck from an adjacent fan blade.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

...Parp?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.