[PC] Jedi Knight II. Thermal Detonators sure are neat.

Wow, did I really put up with this kind of non-sense in Dark Forces II? I have been playing Jedi Knight II while home sick and wow it just strikes me as the most horrible game I've ever played recently (last two or three years). Lightsaber throw was fun for about 5 seconds but that was it; a lightsaber mod for HL2 or UT2k7 or something would be worlds better than this load of crock:

-Mind-numbing enemies: 3 character models must've really broke Lucas' bank. Is that why he needed to release the "prequels?" No AI to speak of either.

-Tediousness +eleventy-billion: See that ship? No, you don't get to fly it. First, you must search the entire level for some hidden fuel pump controls. Yeah, because people put everyday things like fuel pump controls in hidden places. Then, instead of matching the symbols to the fuel pumps that aren't yet operating, you have to match the fuel symbols to the pumps that are already operating. Yeah, because we like to make no logical sense to give the game's "alien setting" more relevance. Devs on this game had an IQ of at least 10. Combined. Worst puzzles ever...

-Lightsaber antics: Why can I never hit anything with my lightsaber, when it's right in front of me? It just dodges. Man, Obi-Wan Kenobi could've lived a lot longer if that were really the case. "Ooh, you're swinging your lightsaber at me? Well, let me just nonchalantly take advantage of horrible collision detection and calmly teleport 2 steps to the side instantly using a secret -noclip cheat that everyone knows.

-Horrid story: It's horrid. That's all there is to say.

-Not feeling the tie-in to Star Wars: There's only so much that John Williams' score can do to make you feel like you're in the Star Wars universe. Frankly, I felt more like I was in a Star Wars setting last time I went to Wal-Mart. (Which doesn't speak highly of the patrons.)

-Level design by an HVAC technician: Apparently, long ago (not in our galaxy either), the only way to get anywhere was to crawl through HVAC ventilation shafts and maintenance hallways. Also, apparently, each planet contained 1 habitable room and the rest of the infrastructure was HVAC rooms and equipment (also, computers and mini-fridge-shaped robots that said "gonk" a lot. Actually, I think they were saying "Bonk" as in "You should play Bonk's Adventure it's a much better game and the design is Einstein next to this horrid pile of poo). Also, there is no rhyme or reason to the level design: why would I think to go left through that wall that doesn't look like a door, when that thing over there that looks like a door doesn't open. And even though I think it should be unlocked somehow, no, it never is it's just there for looks and how should I know which doors I need to unlock and which I don't? Argh!!

I know this game came out awhile ago, but I'm just now getting a chance to really try it out and wow I can't believe that it was received as anything other than the most horrid excuse for a Star Wars game ever. Is it just an old game, or is it really this horrible? I played through quite a bit of Dark Forces II again a couple years ago and in no way remember it being this horrible. In fact, I only quit because I got stuck; otherwise, I enjoyed playing it. Is this game really this bad, or am I just somehow jaded? Anyways, I uninstalled it. Normally I have a bit of fun with codes & god modes in games like this but this isn't even worth it.

This game should be called "HVAC Knight II."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Sorry, yes the nomenclature of these games is a bit confusing indeed! I am writing about Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast. (Which should have just been called Dark Forces III...) I looked it up on Gamerankings.com just to see and the PC version scored an 85%. The professional reviews were all right up there also, with many 8.5/10 or greater reviews. Amazing...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ah! Quake 3 engine? That would explain it. I was never a fan of Quake 3; I always favored the Unreal engine games. I knew there was something strangely unresponsive about the characters movement and jumping, and now I know why.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.