Losing belief

I lost my belief in God and roman Catholicism when I was 15/16. I had been feeling so down and out and prayed a lot for strength and all sorts of stuff.... but nothing was happening. Life got worse, and the harder I tried to extend my beliefs and build more faith, the harder things got. One day when walking back from Church by myself, I looked at the stars and let it all go....

Since then I have been unable to believe in anything like that. I was looking for answers for so long (Reading the bible, going to church groups, trying different churches), that it drove me crazy. Nothing was working and nothing gave me the faith I needed to go on. So, I just stopped believing. I haven't gone back since.

Instead, I just believe in helping others and being the best I can be. Yes, I have traits that may not be the best in completing that objective, but at the same time I do what I am capable of. Yes, in some ways, my soul searching with Christianity may have created a basis in which to live my life, but at the same time I have been able to live my life without the religion tying me up.

Besides, some people need it, and some people don't. And I found out at age 15 that it wasn't for me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.