Girl trouble

I find myself really confused at the moment, this is a really long story. Last month I was in film school, which was at the other end of the country for me and I had met this girl, we hang out every once in a while but not alone, we were always with a group of friends and then I found out I had a crush on her. One time she had asked me to go to a bar with her, so I said yes, but I got nervous and invited a few other friends...oops, yeah. Stupid.

So we all go out and drink, then she drives me and one of my friends home. The next day I hadn't seen her, and all I could think about was her, I couldn't think about anything else, I was trying to do some work on my project but I couldn't, so I went home. I sat on my bed for a few hours feeling like crap, but I knew she worked at the local book store, so I decided to go visit her but half way there I stopped, I was too shy and was scared that me showing up to see her would scare her or something, so I walked back home and couldn't sleep. This went on for a few days.

A week after the bar night, I was working on someone else's film shoot, and she was there, we talked a little but not much, we we're too busy working. At one point, I had to go upstairs to set up a light, after I had set it up, I look down to see if it is doing the desired effect, and at that moment, my heart dropped. I see her and the other friend that she had dropped off the other night, kissing. I just stood there looking,I had no idea what was going on since they never spoke before. I felt like crap the entire night, and I barely put any effort into what I was doing because I couldn't.

I end up working on another film shoot, and she is there but not her new boyfriend, and we had a blast. It was great, but everyday he would show up on set for a few minutes just to make out with her, it was soooo hard for me. So I spent a long time trying to get over her, telling myself that she had a boyfriend now because of my stupidity, apparently he asked her out when she drove him home that one night after dropping me off. So I came to this forum looking for some help and read one thread that people were saying to stop seeing the person, and that's what I did, or I tried anyway.

This one other night we were working on a music video and it was near the end of it and she approached me and asked me if I wanted to skip out with her, since she had to go see a play that her sister was in, and her boyfriend couldn't go cause he was spending the week up on a ski hill. So I said yes, and we went out for supper and then to the play. It was an awesome time, we then we're invited by a friend to go watch a movie at his house, but I wanted to spend more time talking with her, and since she was mad her boyfriend, I asked her if she wanted to go visit her boyfriend on the hill. yes, stupid again, but it was a 2 hour drive there, but she wanted to check if it was okay with our friend so we went over and asked him, but then he got a little upset so she invites him to come along, but he didn't want to go, which made me happy. I felt bad about it since we're really good friends but I really wanted to be with her alone. So we drove up anyway, and had great discussions. Once we got there, it ended up being a horrible night cause they started making out, and he wasn't supposed to return for another few days but he decided to come back with us...so I end up in the back seat and they make out and stuff, good times...

Anyway, time goes and more stuff happens, and then it's the last day of school, and I'm leaving the next day, so we have a premiere for our films with the public and her boyfriend and I are the MC's, was kinda weird, and then one of the films we watched I was sitting down and she wanted to sit on my lap so I said ok, and I noticed her boyfriend eyeing me. I felt really uncomfortable so after the film and doing the MC thing I went back to sit somewhere else, hoping she would leave me alone and she did since her boyfriend went to sit with her.

So then comes the big party at someone's house, and she spent the whole night with me, not her boyfriend, he was too busy getting drunk with some other guys, she cuddles with me and she starts kissing me all over my face and my head, except for my lips, and she kisses my hands and bites my face, I was trying to figure out a way to make it stop since she has a boyfriend but I was really liking it so...I didn't. She then got me up in front of everyone in the room, and we started to dance for a few minutes, then she danced with me slowly towards a bedroom and shuts the door, No, we didn't do that thing, she is catholic after all, but we did spoon and just sweet talk, then she said her feet were cold so I started rubbing them with my feet ( I feel like I'm giving away waaaaayyy to much information, but I think it's probably neccesary) and she tells me how her boyfriend told her he doesn't want a relationship, and a bit more talking, then we walk out of the room, everyone else is pretty much completely drunk or high, so yeah, anyway, freaking weird night.

The next day just before my flight she gives me a present for Christmas and a nice letter. So here I am back home, getting ready to go back up there to get my demo reel and other stuff completed, I'm leaving tomorrow. and I've been thinking about telling her that I love her, and it should be easy for me, mainly because of what happened on that night. I think it's a clear sign that she likes me, but i've waited sooo long, and she still goes out with her boyfriend. So i'm wondering if I should tell her and how and when I should. I feel like utter crap right now, since I'm so scared to tell her, I'm scared that it will scare her away and I will lose our friendship, but I want it to be more then that, and the whole boyfriend thing doesn't help either, I don't want to make it difficult for her or him. It might even be too late to tell her. This sucks... Any help? Sorry for the long story. Hope most of it makes sense.

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LOL, sorry, I didn't bother re-reading, since it took me forever to write all that. hmm, I suppose I could try editing it, I just don't have much time to do it right and I was trying to put as much in there without making it like 20 pages long. I'll see what I can do. Thanks and sorry about that!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ok, I hope it's a little better, I didn't do too much, but I really got to go now.

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hehe, under 18.... I'm 19, I just suck.

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Yeah, I've thought about that too, but.. I still like her, I'm thinking she just did that because her boyfriend told her that he didn't want a relationship.

You guys are probably right, but I still want to tell her.

What do you think she would do if I did tell her? I realize the only way I'll ever find out is by telling her but I'm just wondering what you think.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, but I guess I would prefer her to back off, then me having to tell her to screw off. I don't want her getting angry at me, and thanks a lot for the advise, it put things into perspective, which is kinda hard when your in love. I'll let you guys know if I tell her. lol.

I was speaking idiomatically.