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Thread Tools |
 Member 12225 Level 26.09 Sep 2006 
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I don't mind the lyrics so much, but I think you should branch off towards poetry, and no more of this 'rap' stuff. You sound like a 15 year old white boy trying to sound black, and it just sounds awkward. But your writing isn't that bad. I can see some potential there. Just get away from the cliche themes. Also, your rhyme isn't so bad, but learn some meter =P
Jam it back in, in the dark. |
Smelnick