How should I tell this bitch of a woman off?

I have been friends with this girl for about three and a half years now. I must have been blind, and she must have been insecure, but apparently she was IN LOVE with me since we met. She was always a little possesive, but seeing as how I never really cared (I never gave into her shit, that is), it never got too bad. I guess I was just an idiot for not recognizing it (we were REALLY good friends). Anyway.

About two years ago, last year of high school, this girl starts acting interested in the teacher's assistant, who is a good eight years older than us. They both worked at the local fast food joint (yep, I know) and he, being the creepy fuck he is, took an interest in her too. She was still SEVENTEEN, mind, and he was around twenty-five, about to begin a teaching career.

Well, this guy CLEARLY hates me. But he's such a passive-agressive bitch about it, I never realize THAT either (I'm pretty dense). He hates me because he knows that this girl is in love with me, and he wants me. He begins spreading vicious rumors at the local fast food joint (that all of my friends go to) about me. This is, on the weekdays, the TEACHER'S ASSISTANT at SCHOOL. I call him by his LAST NAME because he is a TEACHER. OK, got it so far?

Well, I cut her out of my life a little over a year ago, telling her she was crazy (as she was slowly beginning to side with that douche before me). But, as time passes, we somehow begin to contact each other, but ever since we haven't really been friends, just friendly. She has, recently, begun dating this guy and, quite strongly; they are talking about marriage (she just turned twenty, and he will turn twenty-eight and teaches high school kids officially now. Yes, yes). Of course, although I live OUTSIDE of their area, although I even AVOID everyone I used to know, she let's me know that this guy STILL talks about me.

What the fuck.

Anyway, she and I recently talked on the phone, but I left a message on some public forum saying we should talk. Suddenly, she has deleted me from everything without a word. This is a friendship of some time, and we last talked on good terms. So, I sent her two messages, and I have got no response.

I know it's her creepy-fucking boyfriend who STILL hates me so much that he STILL brings me up in their stupid conversations. DID I MENTION HE USED TO BE THE TEACHER'S ASSISTANT AT MY HIGH SCHOOL.

Now, here's what it boils down to: should I completely forget about this bitch and her new man, or, should I make it my mission to bring to light what's happened?

I'm basically saying, should I forgive and forget, or should I go for revenge.

I know that no one knows about the weird shit that has been going on with her boyfriend and his creepiness. Some of my friends who are in the know say that if THEY were in my position, they would report this guy for screwing around with people who are around the age of the kids he teaches. I don't necessarily care about him, though: I just want to write a letter to this girl telling her EXACTLY WHY she has no friends (and, if she has cut me off because of him, she now officially doesn't). But, I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea.

So, what should I do. Give up on her, or would it be alright to be just a LITTLE vindictive.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Very tough call. I know it's easier said than done but I advise you to move on. If this perv of a TA tried to sabotage you and this girl fell for it, I'm sure that it could have only escalated from there. It sounds like she got fooled by this guy, and working at the same place only helped it along. Just let her go on with her life, it's her mistake and you might even look at her pitifully if she ever realizes the impact of what she's done.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Everything in this thread points to you liking the girl too. If you don't already know this, you should be real with yourself and go from there. If you didn't care, this wouldn't be an issue at all. And, you wouldn't be attacking that other guy so much.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Oh, sure, there were 'feelings' at the beginning, but by this point, it's more of a friendship issue than anything; it was a really good friendship, after all. I'm not really intially angry at the guy. I'm angry at him now for hating me so much, which I see as really immature.

It's not pure revenge. I'm just wondering if I should even attempt to salvage a friendship that looks pretty much done.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Friends come and go, this is the nature of most friendships. Let her figure this shit out for herself, if she wants to allow this guy to mess with your friendship then so be it. Why sweat over it?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Personally, I find it rather creepy that he would still be talking about you to this day. I would actually hope that it was because your friend was still bringing you up, otherwise that's a rather unhealthy oppsession that the "teacher's assistant" has picked up.

Anyway, and this is of course only talking from my point of view of course, I would drift toward the "forget option." I think most can attest to having some horror stories of this nature with some of their own high school friends. Yet another reason, in fact, why a lot of high school friendships simply don't last, sadly.

However, I don't know how close the friendship was. Everyone has different ranks for "levels of friendships", and I know there would be some of my friends that, against better logic or even their current wishes, I would try my best to patch things up despite consequences. If you wouldn't consider her one of these people, though, then you should probably let this chapter in her life play out and let her figure out in the long run if the choice she has made was in fact the wrong one.

How ya doing, buddy?

As everyone has said so far, let her fall. Some people learn things the hard way. It took some actual gangsters to physically beat me out of being a tryhard gangster back in Year 10. Although it lead me to a fucked up depression and although it's cultivated the way I think, I'm grateful that they bashed me up bad; I would've still been a dickhead.

If you do really care about her then maybe letting her find out the hard way would be good for her. And when she gets into depression (I'm not wishing it on anyone... It's really fucked up though) there would be the perfect opportunity to rekindle the friendship again. Of course this is all theoretically speaking as I'm not you.

As for the teacher... whoa shit man. Life sucks for you, bro. Messing with someone who has a relatively good grip on authority is dangerous shit and I recommend backing off until you know you can do something about it... But IMO I don't think you'd be ready for it yet. That's not to say you suck but truthfully, would you be able to mess with him and get out alive? Wait till you can do that before even CONSIDERING doing something.

Just ignore that bastard's comments. Know that you're still here with people who actually care about you and that you'll be getting a better job than him (you seem the smart type ). well, just know you're better off than him.

FELIPE NO

He probably heard that you guys were talking and freaked out on her. I'm sure it's not her fault she's cutting you out of her life, as in she's angry at you, but more that she's so obsessed with this guy and he's controlling her. I say just forget her, as Gumby, the nature of friendship is that they come and go. Unless the friendship was something so wonderful and spectacular and special that you would feel an empty void without having her in your life, then I'd just say to fold up your losses and forget her, I'm sure you have other friends and a whole other life. If she won't have anything to do with you, why should you?

Teachers who date their students are pretty fucked up, I have to say. ESPECIALLY on the high school level. You should have reported him back when they first got involved, he would have been fired and chances are you wouldn't even have to end up making this topic years later.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Hachifusa

I'm not really intially angry at the guy. I'm angry at him now for hating me so much, which I see as really immature.

Am I the only person here who sees the hilarious irony in this statement?

Dude, get over it, find something else to waste your life worrying about.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Shin

Am I the only person here who sees the hilarious irony in this statement?

Dude, get over it, find something else to waste your life worrying about.

FUCKING A

For all this posturing you're doing that you don't care, and how tough you are and how stupid this chick is and how much of an immature dick this guy is - you're all those things, a bag of snacks and the vending machine dropped on your head.

Theres no good way out of this situation: You leave her, you're a bigger dick than him and you lose her as a friend. You stay with her, you're miserable and have to deal with her ambulatory penis of a boyfriend.

Heres an option: Drive her the fuck away. Stop this passive aggressive bullshit you're playing at. Punch her boyfriend in the face - use a roll of pennies when you do it. Just go upside his head like he's a gold-toothed hooker working your corner and she's holding out on a roll.

You're not the biggest pussy I've seen on here, Hachifusa - but you sure as shit are one of the more dense ones.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Heres an option: Drive her the fuck away. Stop this passive aggressive bullshit you're playing at. Punch her boyfriend in the face - use a roll of pennies when you do it. Just go upside his head like he's a gold-toothed hooker working your corner and she's holding out on a roll.

Hot damn. One of the best lines I've read here in three years ='D

You say you don't care but you do somehow o__O The guy is a douche. If you want to set things straight, either cut him loose or make him sorry for the comments (see above quote). The guy sounds like a real weasel. Personally, I know what it's like to have folks talk about me behind my back. Just gotta ignore it, or give them a few more complaints to tag on if you get my drift. The broad sounds way too obsessed and easily manipulated. The latter makes her a nice match for this prick.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

And Hachifusa, people are going to hate you and their going to do it for very stupid reasons at that. You’re no mature than the other guy if you actually give a fuck about what he thinks. Now, I understand the spreading rumors part, but unless it was along the lines of you having a 2 inch dick or something, that’s nothing to get irate over.

The only way you’d get riled up over this shit is:

1. You’re immature and inexperienced.
2. You still like the chick. (this doesn’t have to be conscious)

If the guy is that big of douche bag then, when you talk to his girl, you should act like their relationship means nothing to you and blatantly (but playfully) hit on her/use lots of sexual references with her. She’ll probably go along with it, and he’ll get pissed off to no end. So much so that they might even break it off if it becomes way too huge of an issue with their (seemingly weak) relationship. If you do something like talk shit about him, or try and get revenge, then you’re nothing more than jealous asshole-loser to basically everybody.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I WOULD like to point out that maybe I'm allowed to be just a little immature, at nineteen? Christ, guys, give me a break.

I would also like to point out to the lot of you that are COMPLETELY MISSING THE PICTURE: This is not some girl that I fell in love with at the school dance. This is a person who helped shape the way I am; this is one of those people who you actually fight to keep. She was a good friend, a really good friend. People like Shin and SMX see this like I'm wasting my time on a girl and I'm really jealous.

No, I'm just angry at my friend for being a douchebag.

Perhaps I'm immature and inexperienced. Perhaps I'm immature and inexperienced because I mentioned the boyfriend part AT ALL; it was only so that it wouldn't seem so mysterious that she cut me off out of nowhere last week while the reason probably has something to do with her creepy boyfriend.

Maybe it doesn't change anyone's advice, but guys, stop treating me like I'm some idiot for still giving a damn about close friends.

EDIT:

Originally Posted by LeHah

Heres an option: Drive her the fuck away. Stop this passive aggressive bullshit you're playing at. Punch her boyfriend in the face - use a roll of pennies when you do it. Just go upside his head like he's a gold-toothed hooker working your corner and she's holding out on a roll.

You're a dick, LeHah, but thanks for the advice. I'm intrigued. How would a roll of pennies hurt? Can you suggest something a bit more firm?

I was speaking idiomatically.

For the record, I don't think you're a idiot, it's just that you need to get used to this type of shit because somewhere along the line it's probably going to get worst. People that you thought were your friends will backstab you, a lot. Whether they are trying to or not.

Also, you didn't just mention the boyfriend, you made it a point to paint a picture of how much of a creep he was. It'd be different if the context of your post was something like "she's one of those girls that kinda axes friends when she's with someone" but your post was more like "her boyfriend is a creepy dumb pedophile loser creep^2." Jealousy, flat out.

Best advice summed up: Move on. People come and go in life.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Yeah, that's understandable, I guess. I think all of the boyfriend stuff in order to stress how mentally unstable the girl (my friend(?)) is, in going out with such a creepy guy. So, maybe I AM a douche after all.

Guess I'll just say to hell with this bitch. Which is really sad, but, whatyagonnado.

FELIPE NO

How would a roll of pennies hurt?

Curl your fingers around one and punch yourself in the face. When you wake up several hours later in a daze, let us know.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Hachifusa

How would a roll of pennies hurt? Can you suggest something a bit more firm?

Ghetto-ass brass knuckles. Just put a roll in your fist and punch him. The roll will get you extra umf.

NOW YOURE PLAYING WITH POWER. SUPER POWER.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I suppose I should update with this situation, as if anyone cares:

She e-mailed me, finally, and said, " I really don't need this right now, and honestly, it's not like we were BFF4EVA. I don't have time to write out everything, don't worry about it. Move on. Bye." That was it, word for word. So, clearly, I'm taking her on her advice; we are no longer friends. However, I did e-mail her, telling her what she's doing is pretty stupid, and that she does indeed OWE me an explaination of WHY she is kicking me out of her life out of nowhere.

I'm more stunned than hurt; after all, this is arguably the strangest thing that ever happened to me. I knew that friends were going to come and go, but I never expected such a damn GOOD friend to suddenly leave, and have the audacity not to say anything.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Hachifusa

she does indeed OWE me an explaination

Uh, no she doesn't. Suck it up and move on, pissypants.

Most amazing jew boots

Thank you for your enlightening comment.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Agree with Manis. Move on and let her fuck up. And in the event she tries to come back afterwards, keep her away from you. Of course by then, you would have found someone more worthy of your time.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Ghetto-ass brass knuckles. Just put a roll in your fist and punch him. The roll will get you extra umf.

NOW YOURE PLAYING WITH POWER. SUPER POWER.

Why not just put it in a sock?


Anyways, onto the more important things

Seems like she already cut you out of her life. You have really only a couple options.

1) Forget about her completely. Send her a message telling her that she has lost a really good friend and someone who would have been there for her in an instant. After you send that message completely forget about her (Friendship wise) and if she tries to come back DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT fall back into a friendship with her.

2) Basically, confront her face to face. If her b/f has any brains of the sort, he won't try to hit you or anything like that because if he does, his teaching carreer is fucked. Just make sure you confront her with a friend just in case.

3) Your third option is basically make a whole bunch of rumors of how he was trying to have an affair with someone who is underage and was in a relationship with a student, pray it gets out, fade from existance and laugh when the shit hits the fan.

If anything...just beat him down with coins in a sock.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I already did 1, almost to the T, Slash. I sent her a letter saying she lost a good friend, that she was an idiot (though I was PRETTY nice about it) and then blocked her. I mean, there's no way I'll be seeing her anymore.

What an idiot.

FELIPE NO

Aww, it seems like it's too late to offer my advice. But it seems you're doing what I would've told you to do: try to find out how she feels then send her on a guilt trip by telling her what you thought about her in the past and present. Oh yeah, blocking her is like a sign that you're remembering her. Deleting her off your buddy list would be better since you just don't need to see her name.
And for the teacher, (if you want to be an ass, but i don't think you're one) you can go to the school and tell the students, "Hey, you know Mr. ____? I heard he's going out with a 20 yr old who used to come to this school." Sounds immature but revenge is fun.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"Run... Run away and never return" (Scar, The Lion King)

Um... yeh. In my experience just dissociating yourself from shit is the best way to go. Of course it'll be hard to completely avoid (unless the teacher dude gets struck by lightning...) the whole thing but move on dude.

Find another girl/best friend and then in the future, should she come back, RUB IT IN LIKE HELL. Okay, people here are telling us to be mature... Should she come back, just tell her to leave.

Jam it back in, in the dark.