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Wanna make a mean pizza that'll get you laid?
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Master_Chef
Banned


Member 25290

Level 1.86

Oct 2007


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 05:07 PM #1 of 11
Wanna make a mean pizza that'll get you laid?

Here's how! Since I used to work for my bitch of a stepmother in her pizza shop. (Which I got fired from because she accused me of stealing money and food and downloading porn in the back room... Fuck'in bitch.) I did however create the recipe for the most delicious pizza EVER. Here it is. You start out just like you would any other pizza. Only diffence is. When it comes time to put the toppings on do this. Put Jalapenos, Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Banana Peppers, bacon and ranch dressing on it. Here's what makes it fuck'in awesome. After you cook the thing throw a shitload of cajun spices on it. I guarantee. Make one of these for the neighborhood piece-of-ass and you get some. I guarantee it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Chaotic
Waltz of the Big Dogs


Member 633

Level 45.75

Mar 2006


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 05:18 PM #2 of 11
It's either I say Post of the Year, or What the Fuck.

I would say both just to be certain. But why would you use a pizza to get ass anyway?

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Aardark
Combustion or something and so on, fuck it


Member 10

Level 40.03

Feb 2006


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 05:23 PM Local time: Oct 12, 2007, 12:23 AM 1 #3 of 11
It's all about the italian sausage.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Nothing wrong with not being strong
Nothing says we need to beat what's wrong
Nothing manmade remains made long
That's a debt we can't back out of
Chaotic
Waltz of the Big Dogs


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 05:31 PM #4 of 11
Pah, it's about the Banana Peppers.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Master_Chef
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Old Oct 11, 2007, 05:38 PM #5 of 11
Ahhh my friends. This is where you are both wrong. It's all in the cajun spices.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Dr. Uzuki
Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman shall be allowed to participate in the film


Member 1753

Level 37.97

Mar 2006


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 07:24 PM Local time: Oct 11, 2007, 04:24 PM #6 of 11
Eating pizza makes me want to drink milk. Milk does weird things to my stomach and pizza isn't exactly a gift to your insides either. The neighborhood piece of ass will be a painful ordeal.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

so they may learn the glorious craft of acting from the dear leader
knkwzrd
you know i'm ready to party because my pants have a picture of ice cream cake on them


Member 482

Level 45.24

Mar 2006


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Old Oct 11, 2007, 07:29 PM Local time: Oct 11, 2007, 06:29 PM #7 of 11
Guys, this works great! I just got some from the neighborhood piece of ass! All I had to do was give her the most delicious pizza EVER. Here it is. You start out just like you would any other pizza. Only diffence is. When it comes time to put the toppings on do this. Put Jalapenos, Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Banana Peppers, bacon and ranch dressing on it.

Thanks, Master_Chef, for helping a guy get a piece of the neighborhood ass! It's the only thing I'll eat for the rest of my life!

FELIPE NO
war
Carob Nut


Member 27210

Level 4.12

Dec 2007


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Old Dec 24, 2007, 09:48 AM #8 of 11
Best thing with pizza [spices or not] is plain old water [cold].
H2o is really a great match with pizza.

As for getting laid i suppose one can try without the pizza payment.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
I've got all day to do nothing
Paco
????


Member 175

Level 58.82

Mar 2006


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Old Dec 24, 2007, 06:13 PM Local time: Dec 24, 2007, 04:13 PM #9 of 11
It's the only thing I'll eat for the rest of my life!
What? The pizza or the ass?

Jam it back in, in the dark.
No. Hard Pass.
Salty for Salt's Sake


Member 27

Level 61.14

Mar 2006


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Old Dec 24, 2007, 06:22 PM Local time: Dec 24, 2007, 05:22 PM #10 of 11
Actually, the real trick to pizza is thin crust and ridiculously fresh ingredients. If you have even the slightest knack for flavours, you can make wicked good pizza. Make sure you sugar your sauce (I use honey), a little garlic, rosemary, pepper, cayenne, proper spices. And then only super fresh ingredients on top, whatever you like. Your favourite mix of cheeses up top. I usually use a thin sprinkling of mozza, some gouda, a little provolone and some parm orig on mine. And then you bake the whole thing, broil the top, take it out and fry the bottom in a cast iron skillet or pan and a little herbed olive oil. Can't beat it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.


John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.


Last edited by No. Hard Pass.; Dec 24, 2007 at 07:15 PM.
war
Carob Nut


Member 27210

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Dec 2007


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Old Dec 24, 2007, 07:10 PM #11 of 11
yes fry the bottom just a bit - gives it more flavor and more chewy.. cast skillet is cool shat.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
I've got all day to do nothing
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