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Now that the health exchange is open, I've been taking the steps necessary to sign up and get me some much needed health insurance. It's nice knowing that I can apply for a plan and not get shot down due to an inactive pre-existing condition. (THANKS OBAMA. ... no, seriously, thanks.)
So I go to the CT health exchange site, make an account, start filling that application out. And I knew they'd need a lot of info. Could even accept that they wanted the names of everyone in my household. I fill in my parent's and sister's names and indicate that they will NOT be requesting coverage. Just me. JUST. ME.
And yet, I'm being asked how Allyson is related to Susan. How Amanda is related to Robert. How Angela is related to Amanda. How Robert is related to Susan. Oh, and can we get the income for all five of these people for 2012? And 2013? And lets get 2014, just for good measure. Also any tax deductions for all five of you. And all of the info of anyone who currently has insurance, because they MAY be eligable for discounts through us (ummm then let THEM file an application, duh?).
After bothering my mom for all this shit, I go to click submit, and get 'Sorry, our website is down. Try again later.' Can't say I wasn't expecting something like that though... the sites must be overrun at this point, but STILL.
Luckily it saved everything, so I go to submit it this morning. Next step: proof of income. Ok, easy enough, I'll scan a paystub. BUT WAIT. We need proof of income, proof of citizenship, and proof of identity of the FOUR OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR HOUSE, just to make sure you're not lying.
So you're telling me, in order to finish this fucking application, I need to provide you with scans of my whole damn family's licenses and paystubs?
Needless to say, once I'm out of work I'll be calling the helpline and getting answers as to why I need my family's information just to get myself covered. Worst part about it is that I know I'm not eligiable for any of the discounts they need all this info for, so all this is just extra shit.
Add to all that the fact that there's been talk about me and New Kid sharing an office in the new building, and I'm gonna need health insurance just to cover my rising blood pressure.
I had a little extra vacation time left for this year, and since our busy time starts in October, decided to take the last few days off. I came back to work this morning, and I feel like I'm being punished for taking vacation.
Work has been going amazingly, despite a few things (New Kid and ADD/ADHD Co-Worker being those few things). I'm producer on my own job which is wrapping up shortly, and it's been going rather smoothly. I've been the contact for another client, constantly providing approved pieces and the updated status. My boss pulled me aside a couple weeks ago, told me that she loves the work I've been doing, she's giving me another raise, adding an extra $250 to my checks every month specifically for health insurance, and she wants me to go with her to the client events in Flordia and Colorado at the beginning of October. I was fucking THRILLED to be getting this experience.
Two days after my boss talked to me about all this, our main producer announced to the team she was leaving. Huh, last time I got a raise it was right before another producer announced she was leaving too. Maybe a coincidence, but... probably not.
So before leaving on Friday, my boss asked me to let New Kid keep an eye on my email account, since one of our clients was constantly emailing me for approved pieces. I said that I'd be keeping an eye on my email, but she insisted. To my discomfort, I had to basically turn my laptop over to New Kid. I told him he was looking for any email from a specific client, and that I'd be checking from home, so anything else I had covered.
So I'm checking my email constantly on my phone, and I thought something was up when my inbox didn't say it had any new emails by mid-day Tuesday. So I click on my inbox. Not only was New Kid checking EVERY. SINGLE. EMAIL in my inbox, but he was FORWARDING emails regarding the job I'm producing, resulting in my project's designer TELLING THE CLIENT I WAS ON VACATION. So I email my co-worker Tracye to tell New Kid to STOP. Apparently she didn't. So I text New Kid on Tuesday night, telling him to STOP. Checked my email Wednesday, and he's STILL checking it. At this point, I'm fucking LIVID. Ready to chew his ass out as soon as I get in this morning.
Instead, Tracye tells me right off the bat that they were super busy, and New Kid was checking my email every 15 minutes (at least) because the boss told him to. No, the boss didn't tell him anything. I told him what he should be looking for, nothing more. They don't seem to have a problem with what he did.
Within 15 minutes of all this happening, I'm told that our boss hired another new producer who started Monday (the second one this month, the fourth in the last 3 months), and that I was no longer going to the client meetings in Florida or Colorado, rather, this new producer was. But I 'shouldn't feel bad' about that, since this meeting seems like a 'pressure cooker'.
Really? I shouldn't feel bad that these new producers, who, between the three of them have worked less time in this industry than I have, will be going in my place?
Seriously, I'm so frustrated that I'm trying not to cry.
This morning on my way to work, I had to stop and put some gas in my motorcycle. Of course, to get as much gas in the tank as possible, I have to straighten the bike (leaving it down on the kickstand leaves the tank at an angle).
When you do something mundane, like put gas in your motorcycle, a hundred times, its likely you stop thinking about how you do it. So I wasn't really thinking about it as I held the gas pump in the tank opening, started pumping gas, then pulled my bike to stand it straight.
It took me about a second to realize that my movement had pulled the gas pump out of the tank, so the pumping gas was hitting the edge of my tank and cascading up in a beautiful and smelly fountain that costs $3.83 a gallon.
So maybeeeee I'll do the exact opposite of what I do every other day I ride my motorcycle, and hope for a little rain to wash my bike.
And maybeeeee I'll spend the rest of the day trying not to get high off of the gas fumes coming from my pants.
What's the worst that can happen?
... the answer to that question is ADD/ADHD Co-Worker can ignore my warning not to smoke anywhere near my bike, and my bike goes up in flames.
That's the worst that could happen.
Currently Playing: a game called 'why does it smell like gas in here' with my co-workers
Last week was the week of New Kid making himself as 'useful' as possible with the most useless information ever. I have dubbed it: the Absolutely Useless Useful Fact of The Day. However, this name is in the works, since a good chunk of these 'facts' aren't actually accurate. I think that he's taken the AllState commercial to heart, and truly believes 'You can't put anything on the internet that isn't true.' Or maybe its his dream and aspiration to be a real life Human Snapple cap.
Monday:
Today's Absolutely Useless Useful Fact:
New Kid: "Holy CRAP. Ally, did you know that if you dip a newborn baby in Olive Oil, it won't grow hair for the rest of its life?!"
Me: "New Kid, I'm calling bullshit on that."
New Kid: "No, seriously! If you dip them in olive oil right after they're born, they won't grow hair where the oil touches!"
Me: "Please consider that this is a substance some people regularly put in their hair and on their skin, not to mention that a vast majority of people EAT and COOK with olive oil. I don't think that would be the case if it had any seriously body-altering effects. Also, if that were ACTUALLY true, don't you think that information would have started a major trend for women to dip the legs of their newborn baby girls in olive oil? A lifetime of no shaving, in exchange for a little dip in olive oil? No, that's bullshit."
New Kid: "But... it says right here..." ;_;
Tuesday:
ADD/ADHD Co-Worker asked how long we thought it would take for him to walk to the bank (one block one way), then to the train station (one block the other way). No more than a 15-20 minute walk total, including time spent at the bank.
New Kid proceeded to look up his route on google maps in pedestrian mode in order to give him a precise time. (17 minutes and 34 seconds, if you MUST know.)
Wednesday:
After lunch, I had a really minor case of the hiccups. I hiccuped twice, tops.
Between the first and second hiccup, New Kid took it upon himself to look up 'hiccuping' on the internet, and provide me with numerous useless facts about hiccups, including information about the guy who holds the Guinness World Record for 'Longest time spent hiccuping'. (68 years. How. Thrilling.)
Thursday:
I overheard ADD/ADHD Co-Worker talking about how we should just stop paying for Stock Photographs in our work, since there’s probably a way to torrent them. New Kid whole-heartily agreed.
(This is where I have to mention that New Kid almost lost his job three weeks in, when it was discovered that he got a little overzealous about research for a project. In a BIG no-no for anyone involved in the pharmaceuticals industry, he reached out to a patient who made a video that endorses one of our client’s competitor drugs, and asked if this patient was paid to make the video. Between all the patient privacy acts, confidentiality, client restrictions… it was a HUGE liability for our little company.
…but that’s cool, let’s use images downloaded illegally. )
Later in the day, ADD/ADHD Co-Worker was given permission to leave early, because he was 'feeling depressed'. The reason for this has yet to be revealed... my theory is that his video game character died.
Friday:
Useless Useful Fact of the Day, as provided by New Kid: "Guys. Were you aware that movie theater popcorn costs more per ounce than filet mignon?" (To get the FULL affect of this, imagine a 21 year old saying this, and then giving you a smug "bet you DIDN'T KNOW THAT!" look.)
Besides that, ADD/ADHD Co-Worker was oddly silent today. Part of me wonders what’s been going through his head all day. Another part of me thinks it’s probably just something along the lines of: “I wonder if I could suck the jelly out of a jelly donut and fill it with nacho cheese? Dude, that’d be SICK.”
Of course, who knows? Maybe decades down the road we'll find out that Olive Oil really DOES prevent hair growth, and it was all just a MAJOR COVER UP CONSPIRACY by all of the razor manufacturers, headed by Gillette.
The Everyday Adventures of New Kid and ADD/ADHD Co-Worker
Gamingforce. I've decided to introduce you to my two office-mates, and the facepalm-worthy shit they say and do every day. I give you this gift, not only for your own entertainment, but also as an outlet for myself, as otherwise I'd flip my desk and walk out of my office screaming at my boss about how an increase in unemployment taxes cant possibly be worth keeping these two around.
First, I must introduce you to our characters. Consider this the start of a sitcom, as the pilot episode has already been approved by Deni with the following review: "I sort of love these two."
The setting: my place of employment. A small 'boutique' production agency, 8 total employees. The location of this agency is a rich, predominantly white town about 45 minutes outside of New York City. Its mostly quiet, except when gang members from two towns over visit to steal the Range Rovers and purebred dogs of the rich people.
Main Character #1: Meet ADD/ADHD Co-Worker. A 23 year old just out of some crappy art school, of Jamaican descent, lives in The Bronx, and yes, has ADD/ADHD. The boss LOVES him and gives him a free pass for everything. Given the title of 'Junior Art Director', he can't do much without being given specific instructions on what to do... kinda defeating the purpose of being an 'art director'. He can't spell or read for shit, making him useless to the company in all aspects except for making the occassional pretty logo (as long as we don't ask him to spell the name of the product or company). There is a visible indent in the rug beneath his desk, from where he's constantly rubbing his feet back and forth, since he cant sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time. Every hour or two he takes a 15-20 minute smoke break, and leaves the office approximately an hour before everyone else. Throughout the day, one can constantly hear him sighing or giggling, since, if no one tells him what to do, he takes it as permission to play video games. Attempting to speak to the boss about him has only resulted in statements such as "You're just gonna have to learn to work with people like him" and "I've got a book about ADD I'd like you to read".
Main Character #2: Everyone had one in their elementary class... the annoyingly enthusiastic student who volunteered to wash the chalkboard down at the end of every week. Well, New Kid is the kind to put that kid to SHAME, the over-enthusiastic student who volunteers to shine the teacher's shoes every day. Hired straight out of college because he's the son of the boss' dog groomer, within two days of starting, New Kid was demanding a set of keys to the office and his own business cards. He's taken it upon himself to provide everyone in the office with absolutely useless, absurd facts at random points throughout the day (i.e.: "Ally, did you know that in the English language 'Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.' is a grammatically correct sentence?!"), and nearly always has a 'I've got one better' story. He both verbally and physically celebrates any small task he accomplishes throughout the work day. Everyone in the office knows when he's decided to psych himself up for that timeline he's been asked to make, since he furiously rubs his hands together and announces, "All RIGHT, Let's DO IT." If you need anything further to understand his character, just know that he's customized and tricked out his car as if its a Honda Civic... but its a SmartCar.
Supporting Character #1: That'd be me. Our small company is growing, so until the renovations to our new office building are complete, I was moved into the same office as New Kid and ADD/ADHD Co-Worker. Since then, I've been privy to the most inane conversations, useless pieces of information, absurd questions, and countless offers of potato chips at 9:30 in the morning. (I haven't said yes yet, but they still get offended when I say 'no, thanks'.) I often find myself biting my tongue for the sake of keeping the peace, but occassionally take full advantage of the dull nature of ADD/ADHD Co-Worker by injecting some tasteful (and not so tasteful) sarcasm into the mix.
Now, for your entertainment... here are some examples of why I decided these two needed to be turned into ChocoJournal legacies:
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!:
The first full day I was in the office with these two, at random moments in an otherwise silent office, ADD/ADHD Co-Worker would quote the movie Gladiator. Totally silent, and suddenly he'd partially whisper to himself, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
After a morning of this occasional interruption, he said it once more, and then looked up, and, in all seriousness, tried talking to me about ‘how right’ Russell Crowe’s character was, that people really were entertained by Gladiator fights. Who knew Gladiator was such a philosophical movie.
Packing Peanuts:
Our office received a box through the mail, and besides the actual item we ordered, it was full of packing peanuts. I needed some help throwing them out, so I asked ADD/ADHD Co-Worker, “Hey, can you hold open this garbage bag so I can pour the packing peanuts in?”
He proceeded to give me a blank stare and ask me what a packing peanut was. Confused, I picked one out of the box and held it up to him. “This is a packing peanut… what do you call them?”
He stared blankly for another moment, and then responded, “Uh… I dunno… insulation sponges?”
And then I learned…:
After ADD/ADHD Co-Worker asked me what I thought the Starbuck’s mascot was, the subject of mythology came up. He immediately followed up with the quote: “I use to be really interested in mythology… and then I learned it wasn’t real.”
In the meantime, New Kid spent most of this day using the internet to look up the names of everyone in the office, in order to figure out what their name determines about their personality.
Twinkies:
ADD/ADHD Co-Worker stopped working, suddenly looked up from his desk, and asked us, “… Guys. Are Twinkies seasonal?”
New Kid then spent the next 45 minutes looking up useless shit on the internet about Twinkies.
Raise the Roof:
New Kid feels the need to physically and verbally celebrate all of his little achievements. Every time he does something he’s proud of, he’ll proceed to ‘raise the roof’ at his desk, along with several "YESSSSSSS" and "I AM AWESOME.". Since my desk is facing him, he’ll then turn to me with this goofy grin, expecting me to ask him what’s going on, so that he can tell me ALL about whatever it is that made him so proud of himself.
After ignoring him for so long, I think I finally have him convinced that I have no peripheral vision, and therefore can’t see him over my monitor.
Statistics:
New Kid informed the room that he was ‘looking over the statistics of the Affordable Healthcare Act’. When I glanced at his computer screen, he was on Wikipedia.
Seriously?:
After a day of not even trying to hide the fact that he was playing video games (“Why is she killing me? I’m her teammate, why would you kill your own teammate?” and “Ugh, this game is frustrating.”), ADD/ADHD Co-Worker looked at me and asked, “When am I gonna be taken seriously around here?”
I didn’t even know what to respond. All I could do was try not to smirk. I must not have done a very good job of it, since he followed it up with a small laugh and, “You have this look that says ‘never’!”
I just laughed and replied, “YOU SAID IT, NOT ME.”
Couldn’t resist:
ADD/ADHD Co-Worker tried making himself look useful by asking Tracye and myself if there was anything he could help us with. I didn't have anything for him to do, but I looked at my list of things I needed to get done anyways, just in case. Then… I couldn’t resist.
I smiled up at him sweetly and said, “No… unless you’d like to call Planned Parenthood and set up a gyno appointment for me…”
INSTANT. CHAOS.
You don't have to thank me for this, GFF. No, seriously... I'm giving you this out of the goodness of my heart. <3
During the meet, I parked my car in this lovely parking spot directly in front of Nuhaus, and felt pretty comfortable with it. There were no signs around saying it wasn't allowed, and I felt I looked pretty extensively for any indication that it would be a problem.
Of course, on the VERY LAST NIGHT my car was going to be in that spot, I received a ticket from the Scarborough Police for 'parking on any street between 2-6am'. Nevermind that my car was in that spot Saturday, Sunday, and Monday night without issue. They waited until Tuesday to issue me a ticket.
Anyways, I appealed it, stating that it was a first offense, I had looked for any signs in the area that would state restrictions, and as a tourist I wasn't aware of the ordinance.
I got a letter back from them yesterday, and it basically said something along the lines of:
"Dear Miss Temari Smith,
We take every precaution to let residents and non-residents know you cant park on the street for those 4 measly hours in the morning. Didn't you see the ONE SIGN that told you this as you entered the town? After discussing it with the issuing officer, we've decided that you're just a stupid tourist who is only welcome here when you're spending money. Plus, you're from Connecticut, so you're obviously loaded. So give us the $40 by July 12th or we're not just gonna double the fine, we're gonna take you to court. Which means more money for us, as you'd need to travel 4 hours and get a hotel up here in order to appear.
Hugs and Kisses,
Scarborough Police Department Goon"
JERKS!
On the bright side, on the same day I received this bummer of a letter from Scarborough, I received an email I've been waiting for. The Mass DOT sent me a letter last month (May 2013) accusing me of going through a toll without paying last year (July 2012), and demanding the toll amount, plus $50. Almost a YEAR LATER, WTF MASSACHUSETTS?! After digging through my brains, I recalled getting a yellow light through the EZ pass lane around that time, because the EZ Pass I was using had slid across my car. I thought the yellow meant it just needed to add more money, but, apparently the sensor didn't read it. So I appealed on the grounds of first offense, and got an email yesterday saying "Yeah, ok. Just pay the toll amount and a $5 administrative fee."
Woooo, $6.25 is way better than $51.25, thats for sure. I think I'm done with fees and fines for now though. Just gonna ride around on my motorcycle from now on. If they can't catch me, they can't fine me, amirite?!
As of June 1st, I entered the lovely, oh-so-enviable group of people known as the uninsured. I turned 26 last September (OLD), so once the enrollment for my mom's insurance came around, I was no longer eligable.
When I was originally hired at my place of employment about a year and a half ago, my boss said she was looking into offering insurance. I kept on her about it as much as I could without feeling like a nag, but the whole thing was eventually swallowed up in more important things. Since I knew June 1st was going to be my last day, I brought it up to my boss again. Her reply was something along the lines of "I know its important, but I don't think its worth the cost to my business. I'll look around in the next few weeks. I had to buy my own plan, you should probably do that."
So I enlisted one of my good friends who works for an HR consulting group to help me weed through the wonderful (read: terrible) world of health insurance plans. We found one I could handle... higher deductable than I would have liked, but managable monthly payments. I applied, waited a week, and got a letter: Ineligable due to signs, symptoms, and/or treatment of Crohn's Disease in the last 5 years.
I can't say I wasn't expecting it, but I'm a little pissed. From what every HR person I've talked to has said, since I've had full, continuous coverage, they shouldnt be able to deny it to me. Now I've gotta go through this stupid appeal process. I'm hoping that they just deny you at first, in hopes that you give up and disappear... but if you appeal they'll just give in. I'd be happy if I can get medical insurance on the condition that they wont cover anything Crohn's related, since its not really an active condition anymore.
And I already had my first 'oh shit' moment last night at soccer. I either landed badly, or pivoted while chasing another player... either way, I fucked up my knee. Bad. My foot/ankle bent one way, my knee went another way, and it felt like my kneecap went yet another way. I heard a POP, and just dropped. The pain was EXCRUCIATING, and my first thought was "Oh shit, that fucking hurts, and I dont have insurance." I had to be carried off the field (that felt kinda badass, honestly). Thankfully I was able to walk after an hour of icing/elevation/compression. I'm wearing a brace now, and popping ibuprofen every few hours. I think I lucked out and its just an MCL strain... I get the feeling I dropped to the ground just in time to avoid anything worse. But I've still gotta keep an eye on it.
I know that once January 1st hits and ObamaCare is in full effect, they cant deny me coverage because of that (THANKS OBAMA). In the mean time, I need to play their game.
Last night I had a dream that I was taking a trip to England, and I was fucking EXCITED about it.
It started off with me finding out that I could ONLY fly to England if I took a plane out of the Keene, New Hampshire airport. I thought this was unusual, since as far as I know, it only services the little, private airplanes. How was a little plane supposed to have enough gas to cross the Atlantic like that? Eh, whatever, as long as I got there. The bigger issue here, was how I would manage to surprise Omagnus with a visit, since I was flying into London (do they even have an airport in London?), and had no idea where he lived in relation to the city. It was quite a debate for me, since I really wanted to surprise him, but that would be made extremely difficult with the lack of knowing his address.
Fast forward, as dreams tend to do... fuck yeah, I'm in England! And Ben is here, picking me up from the airport! Big bear hug from Ben! Its never revealed to me if I told him I was coming, but judging by how surprised I was to see him in my dream, I'm assuming I didnt and he just happened to know he had someone to pick up at the airport.
So we're walking along, and I start noticing that there are a large amount of people roller blading. I was about to comment, when Ben beat me to it and asked me if I packed my own. I told him that since I was traveling on such a small plane, I had no room to pack my roller blades (when I have, in fact, not owned a pair since high school... and really, who packs roller blades for vacation?!). Ben gave me a look, like I was missing out on the newest, coolest thing.
)
