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Mar 28, 2010 - 10:03 PM |
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Determination |
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As many are aware, I've been after Bonesteel's woman, Melinda, for a while now. It was only two months ago, however, that Melinda got tired of Bonesteel's lack of commitment and dumped him. Still, she has had to remain living in the same apartment with him due to not having enough money to move back east.
She and Bonesteel were together for six years and he was her first; naturally there was some distress. I tried to be considerate and give her room to heal but there came a point where I could no longer be silent. I told Melinda how I felt about her. This news came as a genuine shock, for she'd never suspected I had any feelings for her at all. I am evidently too good at concealing my emotions. I thought she'd suspected for quite a while. What I thought were purposeful flirtations and innuendos were merely friendly jokes.
But she wasn't upset at all. Melinda said she couldn't make any commitments because it wasn't absolutely certain that she was done with Bonesteel. She promised to give him until May to redeem himself. I do not believe he is capable, but who knows? She admitted that it's very possible she could be attracted to me once her head is cleared from this mess. She wants time to decide what her path will be.
Unfortunately, there is another man, one named Mike. Mike is a Libertarian rent-a-cop, from Ohio, whose hobby is cage fighting. He also thinks he's some smooth operator. But he's known Melinda for as long as I have, and recently also declared his feelings for her. The caveat is that Mike and Melinda have never met in person; they met online. She does want to meet him, and there are plans for this to happen in May when she visits her friend in Pennsylvania.
Mike has been very dogged in his pursuit of Melinda, showering her with attention and making strong, suggestive remarks about marriage and children. Melinda tells me it's annoying at times, and borderline obsessive, but I sense that she truly doesn't mind the attention and flattery.
Mike has been pestering me over AIM for two weeks, attempting to "befriend" me, since we're both large parts of Melinda's life. I've been extremely reluctant to chat since he is, essentially, my foe here. I finally relented this afternoon when he raised the valid poiint that it's rather slimy of me to speak ill of him behind his back but cannot say anything to him directly.
Mike told me, in a nutshell, that I stood no chance with Melinda. He claims she has already confessed her love for him and has dreamed about him on one occasion. I was informed of this dream by Melinda, and it was not romantic or sexual in context at all, but he sure would like me to draw that conclusion. He then said she sees me more as a brother and that I should spare myself the heartbreak and look elsewhere. Mike then sugar-coated it with some flattery about my intellect and strength of character, and offered to coach me in how to more effectively pick up women. How nice of him.
It's basically an attempt at "Stockholm Syndrome." By befriending me, he probably hopes that I'll grow to like him enough so as to not mind if he gets the girl, because I'll trust that Melinda has made a good choice. Fat chance. It's an obvious snow job and even Melinda agrees.
Melinda has told me she definitely does not love him. He annoys her frequently, to the point where she has to stop talking to him for a while just to cool off. She knows he has lied to her and to her best friend, Cassie. She also believes him to be rather manipulative. At the same time, she has admitted that his constant attention and expressions of love have grown on her somewhat.
I thought that it was probably better to give her the necessary room to get over Bonesteel and get the hell out of Colorado. I didn't want to smother her and just add to the confusion. However Mike did just that and was succeeding. Being mindful of her space was evidently the incorrect play, no matter how much sense it made. I've even been told this directly. Not harshly but in a suggestive way.
What have we learned? If you want something, don't wait for it to choose to come to you. Reach out and fucking take it.
I've never done the aggressive thing before, at least not with women. I get wrapped up in what they think of me. I think I appear timid. In fact I'm pretty sure of it. Hell with that. I haven't been given a "no" and that's all the encouragement I need to move things up several gears.
It'll be fascinating, and I might fall completely on my face. But I ain't rolling over for no weaselly, musclebound, ex-Mormon she's never even met in person. Hell no. Mike's attempt at steering me away has backfired. The gloves are completely off now.
I know I'm the better man. I'm not manipulative and I don't lie to her friends. I've always been good to her. It's time to make her realize this.
Sorry for the sorta-emo rant. Sometimes you just gotta vent, you know?
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