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This thing... is the sickest, sickest, most perverted thing ever.
I have screamed into a pillow more in 24 hours than I have in my entire life.
OH DEAR LORD:
Voldemort was pacing back and forth in front of a cowering Wormtail.
“It’s time to go spelunking in the special cave, again,” Voldemort said knowingly.
“But Master, the ‘cave’ is dark and… and…” Wormtail nervously stammered. “It’s unnatural!”
...
“Nothing about me is natural,” Voldemort hissed at Wormtail’s hesitation. He threw a very small harness, something that would fit onto a rat, at the animagus’ feet. “Now, transform!”
Wormtail quickly changed into his rat-form and the Dark Lord pulled a cardboard tube, similar to the type from a roll of paper towel, out of his robes.
“You better have clipped your nails this time, Wormtail,” Voldemort threatened as he began to turn around. “I was bleeding for days last time!”
The villain reached down and grabbed the string that was attached to Wormtail’s harness. Then, much to Harry and Hermione’s disgust, Voldemort threw off his robes and revealing his deathly pale and boney arse to them. Voldemort positioned the cardboard tube at his bum and it finally became clear what the Dark Lord and Wormtail were about to do.
Harry cringed as Wormtail scampered into the tube, he could hear the rat’s tiny claws scarping on the inside of the tube.
“Oooh that’s it,” Voldemort cooed in a most disturbing manner as Wormtail disappeared from view into the tube. “Who’s been a good Dark Lord?”
Harry’s blood ran cold as he saw Voldemort’s face tighten, and the villain declared, “That’s right! I’ve been a good Dark Lord! A VERY GOOD DARK LORD!” Harry heard Wormtail squeak in pain
