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[DnD] URBX Throwback 29 August, 2536: Klugman's Dome
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The unmovable stubborn
(Feeling Inspired)


Member 1512

Level 62.24

Mar 2006


Old Aug 30, 2014, 10:19 PM 3 #1 of 14
URBX Throwback 29 August, 2536: Klugman's Dome


"Hey hey hey! Good evening! This is URBX Throwback, where we truly kick it old-school. I'm Slim Eddie Vitreous, and this is my lovely co-host, Daisy Gladnews."

"Hi. I'm Daisy."

"If this is your first time on the Throwback, what's up? Here's the 411: Throwbacks are Xpeditions into what the government calls "Heritage Sites": physical structures from the multiverse that survived the Accident more or less intact. Nobody knows why! Since Heritage Sites are a freaky thing that's hard to explain, it stands to reason that there's probably weird shit in there."

"We need to collect it or murder it. Before it murders or collects us."

"That's the ticket! Throwback Xpeditions are a little different than what you'll see on original flavor URBX. For example, no pods!"

"Heritage sites are surrounded by an Imperial forcefield that disintegrates anything moving over a speed of [BLEEEEEEEEEEEP]."

"Girl, you know that's classified. Point is, no pods means no squad substitutions and no evac! But Throwbacks have about the same failure rate as a normal Xpedition. Anything living in a Heritage Site is working with a very limited array of technology compared to us on the outside."

"Plus they've been locked up in there for, like, centuries. Probably they're all dumb inbreds and shit."

"The other big deal about Heritage Sites, the main reason they're sealed up, is this: they're usually dripping with weird Omega loot. It's all gonna be within the limitations of the original host planet, but it's pure, undiluted by the Accident."

"Like their genes."

"Point is, the Empire doesn't want that kind of business getting out into public hands. Any tech our squads recover from a Heritage Site ends up in a black box in a warehouse somewhere, no exceptions. Don't panic! They'll be compensated generously in Imperial bonds and military service exemptions, and of course they're free to use the tech while on-site."

"Heritage Sites have not been scouted, and have no DJ. However, this site is rated Copper as there were no citizen fatalities during the initial exposure event. Nobody knows what's in there, but it's not powerful enough to break through the field so it's probably nothing too scary. Also, how are you talking? I don't understand how sounds are even coming out of your... head... thing."

"So crazy. I like that. Tonight's Xpedition takes us to The Smokies, a southern territory full of fairly unimpressive mountains and fairly impressive barbecue. Klugman's Dome was a popular peak from hiking and tourism until a tragic jet accident revealed a sprawling dwarven fortress beneath the mountain's surface. Now it's a no-go zone for 3 miles in every direction... except for our squad!"\

"Let's join them now via the patented URBX Scrying Pool."

"Cameras can't broadcast from within a Heritage Site, so we can't provide you with the thrilling close-ups usually provided by HoverCam. However, every Xplorer's jumpsuit has been fitted with recording technology without their knowledge, so look forward to plenty of first-person skull-smashing when this Xpedition hits URBX Replay!"

"Melancholy of Perfection is a fairly new squad, with only one Xpedition to notch on their belts. Imperial Rangers have escorted them to the minimum safe distance and they're awaiting the go-ahead. Fan favorite Esperansita Mamara appears to be smoldering slightly in the warm light of the sunset."

"Site Coordinator Al Barnes is on the scene, giving the squad a refresher of the same Throwback rules we've just explained to you. All right, he's exiting the suppression field, let's hear his thoughts. Al, do you expect this squad to come back in one piece?"

"They seem enthusiastic and competent enough, Eddie, but of course we have no real idea what's inside. Some of the natives that tried to escape right after the discovery were screaming about some kind of demon, but unfortunately they had to be shot before they could explain. Can't have Heritage germs getting into the cities, you know? Anyway, these primitives are constantly making up scary stories because their lives are so dull, so maybe there's nothing in there but dust and bones."

"Let's hope those bones put up a little fight, ha ha! Throw the switch, seal 'em in, and let's Xplore!

"The squad's been given the go-ahead, and the Xpedition has officially begun. Melancholy of Perfection's standing in front of a dilapidated fort built on the river that winds down the mountainside."



Jam it back in, in the dark.

Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Sep 3, 2014 at 08:41 PM.
Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss
Motherfucking Chocobo


Member 589

Level 64.55

Mar 2006


Old Sep 3, 2014, 03:12 PM Local time: Sep 3, 2014, 09:12 PM #2 of 14
Jill, if she was going to be honest, knew very little about dwarves. She knew they were generally not much bigger than her and she knew they all appeared to be male. She also knew they were a bit stinky but that they brewed if not fantastic beer then certainly plentiful beer and that was her favourite kind. Surely it wouldn't take long to find a brewery in this place and then hopefully one of the team would have the capability to organise a piss up.

Working on the assumption the door would be either locked, trapped or both, she flew up to the roof, looking for a sneakier way in.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Little Brenty Brent Brent
Bulk's not everything. You need constant effort, too.


Member 235

Level 46.36

Mar 2006


Old Sep 3, 2014, 08:49 PM Local time: Sep 3, 2014, 06:49 PM #3 of 14
Sven sees what the little fairy thing is doing, and nods in approval of her clever surveillance. "Excellent work, little fairy thing!" he shouts.

Sven is excited by the prospect of dwarf treasures. He's heard so many stories! He'll need to figure out a clever way to smuggle out the untold riches of days past.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Jurassic Park Chocolate Raptor
Reactor online.
Sensors online.
Weapons online.
All systems nominal.



Member 80

Level 56.91

Mar 2006


Old Sep 3, 2014, 10:15 PM Local time: Sep 3, 2014, 09:15 PM #4 of 14
Flopflap squishes over to the door.

"YO WHATUP"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
i am good at jokes
LUCKY!!!


Member 25652

Level 30.58

Oct 2007


Old Sep 7, 2014, 07:17 PM Local time: Sep 7, 2014, 08:17 PM #5 of 14
1 Die Roll
 Description
Die
Result
Stealthiness (skullduggery?)
1d20
5
Ah the sun!!!!

What an asshole...

Since the blob seems intent on getting the attention of anything that may be in the fort, Mamara decides to just crouch by the deck and skirt the contour of the fort to spot anything that may be guarding the outside.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Juggle dammit
The unmovable stubborn
(Feeling Inspired)


Member 1512

Level 62.24

Mar 2006


Old Sep 8, 2014, 02:01 AM #6 of 14
7 Dice Rolls
 Description
Dice
Result
Cliff init
1d20
14
Flopflap init
1d20
11
Jill init
1d20
15
Esperansita init
1d20
9
Sven init
1d20
10
duergar scout init
1d20
12
duergar leader init
1d20
14
"Johnson's flying up to the roof... and there's basically no roof. Wow, what's with these dwarves? Looks like they spent the night in a vat of blueberries!"

"They call themselves the Dvergar. They consume a lot of colloidal metal due to a distrust of modern medicine and hostility toward Imperial economic policy. Weird to see them outside their compounds."

"If these guys got in before our squad, then something's definitely gone off the rails. Good! I hate rails! They can't tell me what to do!"

"But those rifles might be able to tell Johnson what to do, so she needs to — ah, looks like Stingdick's running interference. Seems like the Dvergar are insular enough that the sight of somebody like Stingdick can still surprise them."

"I haven't been surprised by a talking purple blob since I turned 18! That was a good birthday party."



Flopflap 25, Dvergar Scouts 20, Dvergar Leader 17, Cliff 15, Esperansita 14, Jill 14, Sven 11

Dvergar Scouts: AC 18, Fortitude 18, Reflex 16, Will 16, HP 48
Dvergar Raid Leader: AC 19, Fortitude 17, Reflex 19, Will 15. HP 51

(Map!)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Sep 8, 2014 at 03:34 AM.
Jurassic Park Chocolate Raptor
Reactor online.
Sensors online.
Weapons online.
All systems nominal.



Member 80

Level 56.91

Mar 2006


Old Sep 15, 2014, 10:40 PM Local time: Sep 15, 2014, 09:40 PM #7 of 14
"Oh, shit"

It may have taken an obscene amount of time between Flopflap kicking the door down and realizing that, in fact, shit was instantly about to get real, but he decided that he'll be ready for it in any case.

And that the noisy fairy can be left to her own (explosive) devices. He wanted none of that impending shit storm whatsoever, thank you very much.

Free Action: Shroud on Raid Leader
Minor Action: Quarry on Raid Leader
Move to M5
Ready Action Double Strike onto first enemy to step past the statues toward to the door


FELIPE NO
The unmovable stubborn
(Feeling Inspired)


Member 1512

Level 62.24

Mar 2006


Old Sep 18, 2014, 12:34 PM #8 of 14
12 Dice Rolls
 Description
Dice
Result
quarry damage I guess?
1d6
4
raidleader rifle v flopflap
1d20
20
ok good job
1d8
6
and again
1d20
15
ugh twin strike ugh
1d20
5
dmg3
1d8
5
Scout D rifle v. Jill
1d20
18
dmg2
1d8
2
Scout C rifle v. Jill
1d20
19
Scout B rifle v. Jill
1d20
11
dmg
1d8
1
Scout A rifle v. Jill
1d20
14
"Oof, looks like Johnson doesn't have the aerial mobility you need to dodge small arms fire. Luckily, being shot in both arms has left her reasonably stable."

"Dvergar tend to shoot at anything flying; as far as we can tell, they find the whole idea offensive."

"You're meant to be under the ground, not above it! Adam and Eve, not Adam and... somebody help me out here."

"Eaves? Like, she's perching on a roof? Get it?"

"Yeah! Get off the dang roof!"

23 physical damage to Jill; 6 damage from Scout A, 7 damage from Scout C, 10 damage from Scout D. Bloodied.

16 physical damage to Flopflap from Raid Leader; bloodied

Twin Strike: 12 damage to Raid Leader

Cliff 15, Esperansita 14, Jill 14, Sven 11, (ROUND 2) Flopflap 25, Dvergar Scouts 20, Dvergar Leader 17


(Map!)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Sep 18, 2014 at 02:10 PM.
Scent of a Grundle
Mountain Chocobo


Member 32415

Level 28.14

Dec 2008


Old Sep 18, 2014, 05:21 PM Local time: Sep 18, 2014, 04:21 PM 4 #9 of 14
3 Dice Rolls
 Description
Dice
Result
*damage
2d8
14
Tempest Assault
1d20
11
overcharge
1d20
20
Cliff hears the sound of gunshots, and immediately feels the need to laugh at someone. He sprints for the doorway, but finds that his beautiful fur is still full of product from the pre-show makeup session. That lady really didn't know when enough conditioner was enough. He slips, and finds himself scrabbling across the floor of the building, bowling over Dvergar right and left. He comes to rest at the far end of the room, and slips out from under the last of the bearded jerks he'd tripped up.

Oily coat! Overcharge success.
Speed is 8x2 so 16 squares.
Move - 8 spaces to leader, then 5 spaces to A, 1 to B, end movement under C. All are knocked prone.
Mark surrounding targets.
Stand up at V17.


The only Dvergar left standing stares at Cliff, still trying to identify the tiny destructive pinball he just watched fly about the room. His face is just beginning to change to an expression of comprehension and rage when the mammoth bone meets it. When Cliff's weapon comes away, the face is still angry.

Just a little more concave.

Club D in the face with mammoth bone.
21 electricity damage to D. Bonus 1 damage to... A, i guess.

One of the Dvergar lying on the ground winces at the sound of crushing nose cartilege. Cliff just wags his tail and looks immensely proud of himself.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Last edited by Scent of a Grundle; Sep 18, 2014 at 05:47 PM.
i am good at jokes
LUCKY!!!


Member 25652

Level 30.58

Oct 2007


Old Sep 24, 2014, 07:13 PM Local time: Sep 24, 2014, 08:13 PM #10 of 14
1 Die Roll
 Description
Die
Result
OVERCHARGE THAT STIM BABY
1d20
1
Well it seems stealth might not be the best approach in such an open spot. Very well.

Mamara gets on her new found fun times vehicle, does a litle turn and then heads straight for the nearest statue, right after jacking herself up with some of that sweet sweet Military-issue Hypostim she got from some sketchy mark on an old mission.


GET ON DA BIKE

DRIVE TO T7

HEAD TOWARDS STATUE AND FAIL MISERABLY AT DOING ANYTHING CLOSE TO KNOCKING IT DOWN, LAND SOMEWHERE ON THE OUTSIDE DECK

I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW, DAZED AND SLOWED AS I AM


Well, apparently she hadn't really noticed that she would have to pop a pretty sweet wheely to get to the statue, and she isn't quite as tubular a rider as she was back when she participated in those "Xtreme Wheel Based Objects Gnarly Tricks Doing" competitions way back when.

She did, however, fully fulfill her intent to not make further use of stealth for the present moment.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Juggle dammit

Last edited by i am good at jokes; Sep 24, 2014 at 07:35 PM.
Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss
Motherfucking Chocobo


Member 589

Level 64.55

Mar 2006


Old Oct 10, 2014, 12:45 PM Local time: Oct 10, 2014, 06:45 PM #11 of 14
5 Dice Rolls
 Description
Dice
Result
*Damage C
2d6
5
*Damage B
2d6
12
Hit C
1d20
14
Hit B
1d20
7
Hit A
1d20
5
Jill found herself temporarily paralysed with indecision and the seconds ticked by, feeling more like weeks...

Coming too, she realised she was about to get murdered and figured that discretion in this case was the better part of valour. Tempting though it was to just blow the keep to kingdom come, she knew in her heart of hearts there would be better opportunities for explosive antics at a later date and instead she did her best impression of something invisible whilst hightailing it back teh way she'd come.

Memory hole, double augmented at V16. Move to S6

Additional Spam:
18 damage to B, 11 damage to C, invisible to both until start of my next turn

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Last edited by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss; Oct 10, 2014 at 12:49 PM. Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
Little Brenty Brent Brent
Bulk's not everything. You need constant effort, too.


Member 235

Level 46.36

Mar 2006


Old Oct 25, 2014, 11:53 AM Local time: Oct 25, 2014, 09:53 AM 3 #12 of 14
1 Die Roll
 Description
Die
Result
Shade mode engaged
1d20
11
If there's one thing Sven knows, it's absolutely not Dvergar, but don't worry, he can probably fake it.

"Do not worry, friends! Don't you know anything about puny gray beardmen? Sven has watched a television program on Dvergar once! They burst into flames and die immediately upon seeing the sky! Also, if you insult their ancestral lineage, their heart explodes inside their chest and they also die from that! This is why their entire civilization has accomplished little of note! Hahahahaha! Stupid puny beardmen and their puny weak hearts!

Let us vanquish them as quickly as possible, for this fort surely contains countless riches! Which Dvergar are allergic to, and will cause them to instantly die upon viewing! They must not have noticed the riches yet!

You there! Dvergar! Your fathers were beardless and your mothers lacked pigment! Hahahahaha! Idiots! Also look at all the treasure!
"

Standard: Overcharge Compulsive Liar
1. Dvergar spontaneously combust upon viewing the sky.
2. Dvergar die via heart explosion if you insult their heritage.
3. Fort contains mad riches, which kill Dvergar.

Minor: Disparage Dvergars' parents.


How ya doing, buddy?

Last edited by Little Brenty Brent Brent; Oct 25, 2014 at 11:56 AM.
Jurassic Park Chocolate Raptor
Reactor online.
Sensors online.
Weapons online.
All systems nominal.



Member 80

Level 56.91

Mar 2006


Old Nov 24, 2014, 02:10 AM Local time: Nov 24, 2014, 01:10 AM #13 of 14
7 Dice Rolls
 Description
Dice
Result
quarry
1d6
6
*shrouds
2d6
10
I AM TOO TIRED FOR THIS
1d20
12
Hit 2
1d8
5
Oops scratch that last one
1d8
2
1x Dmg
1d20
7
One
1d20
12
This shit is killing him. Locked up in an endless robotumblr debate while on shitty underground wifi; Flopflap needs to get his shit together and is thankful no one else has shot him yet. Or the mystery man behind the robo-curtain. That guy probably deserves an assbeating too.

"This shit is so depressing. It really speaks to me"



Free Action: Shroud number two on Raid Leader.
Standard Action: Double Strike onto Raid Leader with NINJA STARS

Hit 1: 12 + 9 = 21 --> Hit. Invoke Shrouds. Invoke Quarry. 2 + 6 + 10 + 6 = 24.
Hit 2: 12 + 9 = 21 --> Hit. 5 + 6 = 11.
Total 35 damage to Raid Leader

Move Action: Dodge, get the hell out of it. Q0 looks great at this time of year.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Last edited by Jurassic Park Chocolate Raptor; Nov 24, 2014 at 02:36 AM.
Little Brenty Brent Brent
Bulk's not everything. You need constant effort, too.


Member 235

Level 46.36

Mar 2006


Old Jul 10, 2015, 05:56 PM Local time: Jul 10, 2015, 03:56 PM 1 #14 of 14
This fuckin' dome, man.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
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Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis > Garrmondo Entertainment > Pang's Violence Basement > [DnD] URBX Throwback 29 August, 2536: Klugman's Dome

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