My story thus far (warning: it's long) and where I would like to be

Tomorrow I'm quitting my band.

That's pretty much the headlining topic in this post and pretty much my life in general. I've got decent vocals (by decent I'm being modest and I mean good). I'm a valuable person. I'm worth something. I don't deserve to be treated like shit.

Lately, that's what's been happening.

My band mates have lost all respect for me. I don't know why, but they have. First off, I live with my guitarist and right now, he absolutely loathes me. Today he called me up bitching about how I wasn't doing enough around the house (in the way of cleaning). It wasn't so much what he was saying as opposed to how he said it. Also, he gave me shit about money I owe him. I owe him money because I borrowed $20 or so from him a month or so ago and then last month he covered my cable bill ($35). By his fucking gorilla math he calculates I owe him $62. Not a large increase, sure, but I don't even believe I owe him that money. His animal (dog) chewed up about $150 worth of electronics. I wasn't able to use my laptop for the longest time because of it. He claimed no responsibility for it. I asked him about compensation a week ago and he said "I've been hooking you up since you moved in," meaning of course, that I owe him for the times he smoked me out. Great.

I don't know why people do things like that and then BOOM turn around and say you owe them shit. Like they've been doing you favors. This dude hasn't done shit for me and he's been bitching about everything. Anything any everything. One day I left some bread crumbs on the counter. Yes, literally fucking breadcrumbs. CRUMBS. He called me up bitching and moaning and complaining about it. How it's annoying that he has to deal with that. This, of course, coming from a person who doesn't clean shit, never washes dishes, and never fucking cleans the house. He does when he feels like it, which is once a week, maybe. During this time I was cleaning everyday. I was sweeping and mopping the kitchen everyday. I was vacuuming the house everyday. I was doing the large stack of dishes everyday. I had nothing better to do really. I was unemployed at the time. I still paid my bills. I asked for a little slack every once in awhile, but I didn't really get any. When I say slack I mean my previous renter's fucked me over $100 on the return of my deposit (which I was using to cover that months rent) and I asked my landlord (my guitarist's mother) if it would be okay if I gave it to her the next day when I had time to go to my Mother's and borrow what I was screwed out of.

-Cut Scene-

Lately, a friend of mine has been offering me a place to live across the country. I didn't really consider it too heavily up until things here in Los Angeles started to go toward the shit side.

-Back to Story-

Today he called me up, 'fed up' with me.
*Phone Rings*
[Myself]: Hello?
[Guitarist]: When are you going to pay me?
[Myself]: Well, like I said, when I get my next check. I mean, I can't do anything before that.
[Guitarist]: You should get a check today.
[Myself]: No. I don't get a check for another two weeks. I still haven't received my checks from the companies I worked for a month ago.
[Guitarist]: Well, Monchies (other roommate) said you aren't doing shit around the house.
[Myself]: I'm not cleaning as much as I used to, no, but I've been busy with work and everything lately. I've been trying to contribute by not making any mess at all. I do what I can when I'm home though.
[Guitarist]: That's not good enough. You haven't done shit. I'm sick of this. You need to fucking start cleaning up the house more. You haven't been doing shit lately.
[Myself]: But it's not my mess at all, I...
[Guitarist]: It doesn't matter. I told you from day one that we need to keep the house clean. It's your responsibility to clean up the mess in the house too. I don't care if it's not yours or if you're not there. That's the problem I had with Joe (previous roommate). I told you that from day one.
[Myself]: So you want me to clean up your guy's mess, then?
[Guitarist]: No, I want you to clean up the house's mess.
[Myself]: Again. You want me to clean up your guy's mess. I don't make any mess as I'm hardly ever there. I still clean up. Just not as often.
[Guitarist]: Well if you don't like it then I can have Mom serve you your 30 days right now.
[Myself]: Honestly. I don't give a shit at this point. If you're going to call me and give me this sort of attitude over stupid shit, then I don't give a shit.
[Guitarist]: Alright. I'll call my Mom right now and tell her to give you your 30 days right now.
*Click*

After a couple of minutes I cooled myself off. Thought about the positive side. I wanted to be the better person. In the past, he'd bitched at me like this before, though never to this extent. I figured just suck it up and let him be a spoiled child about shit. I figured this wasn't any different. Let him have his way and let him think he's right. I decided to call back, smooth things out, and willingly take the blame.

*Dial's Phone*
[Guitarist]: What?
[Myself]: Look... I don't want to be on bad terms... my bad.
[Guitarist]: Look, I don't give a fuck about whether or not you like my attitude. I don't give a shit. You've been taking advantage of me and my mom since you fucking moved in from day one. You've been taking advantage of me and my mom (yes, he said it twice). You haven't done shit you said you were going to and frankly, I don't believe a damn word you tell me anymore. I haven't seen you do shit that you said you were going to. You knew from day one that things were going to be like this and if you don't like it, then we'll see. You've been taking advantage of us and I'm sick of it. Like the band said (at a time when they scolded me for not having enough money to cover a debt they owed before I was in the band) you need to step it up.
[Myself]: *sigh* you're right. *WANTING TO FUCKING KILL SOMETHING*
[Guitarist]: I don't give a shit. You need to pay me. I want my fucking money. We'll see what happens, but I'm sick of you taking advantage of me.
[Myself]: I'll get you your money, you're right. I haven't been fulfilling my responsibilities (which is bullshit).
[Guitarist]: Well, whatever, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if I sound like your parent right now, but...


At this point I put the phone down. I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I knew it would have pissed me off to the point where I would have said something out of the heat of the moment. I waited until I didn't hear his voice talking on the phone anymore and I picked it back up.

[Myself]: You're right. I'm going to step it up.
[Guitarist]: Whatever. I don't believe shit you say.
[Myself]: Well, I can't convince you that I'm telling the truth, so I won't bother, but... well, I will do better. That's all I can offer right now since my word doesn't mean anything. I wish there was some sort of insurance I could offer, but I can't change the fact that you don't trust me no matter what I say.
[Guitarist]: Whatever.
[Myself]: So is there anything else while we're on the line?
[Guitarist]: No. That's all I can think of for now, but if I can think of anything else I'll be sure to tell you off again. Oh, and Monchies said to stop fucking smoking the roaches.
[Myself]: I haven't been. (Which I really haven't been.)
[Guitarist]: Whatever. Like I said I don't believe you.
[Myself]: Well. Alright. I'll be home in about fifteen minutes so...
[Guitarist]: Whatever.
*Click*

That fucking pissed me off. For one, I don't know what the fuck he means by "take advantage of". I haven't taken advantage of SHIT. He'd smoked me out a few times and treated me to dinner like twice when I was unemployed. Shortly before that (when he was unemployed) I bought him dinner every time we hung out and smoked him out daily because I had the cash and I didn't even think twice about it. Now he's saying I've taken advantage of him. He says that I've taken advantage of his mother probably because I live in her house. They're doing ME a favor by letting me stay here. None of this rent bullshit means anything at all. As far as he's concerned, I'm getting a free place to stay and not appreciating it. I pay rent. He doesn't. He'll never understand.

-Cut Scene-

My friend (who lives in Pennsylvania) informed me that he's going to be renting a room out of a three bedroom house and there's two more rooms available. He'd be willing to cover me until I get on my feet, he said.

Philadelphia, PA.

-Back to Story-

Today my drummer came over. He nodded what's up to me and then looked away. Previous to my altercation with my guitarist, he would always stand up to greet me and shake my hand enthusiastically. Now he's ignoring me. I said what's up, didn't get a reply so I walked out. He's done this from time to time every time he's wanted to blame me for something. The band leaves me on the outside. There's four room keys. Four band members. Do I get a room key? No. Someone else that isn't even in the band and who I've never met gets a key. This was a recent event. They asked me if I needed a key to get in, and I said yes. "Well, wait, is there anyone else that needs a key?" Someone replied with "Yeah, (so and so) needs a key." Where's my fucking key? I PAY RENT for this stupid fucking studio and I don't even get a key? Fuck the bullshit.

Sometimes I'll show up for practice and no one will be there. I'll text someone and ask are we practicing today? I'll get a "No," for an answer. Pathetic. Thanks for fucking telling me, dick wads. Somehow, someway, I'm the only left out on the loop. Somebody called my band mates to tell them that we're not having practice and didn't bother calling me. I asked them why and my guitarist replied with "didn't think you would show up anyways." I've missed one practice since I've got in the band. Everyone else has missed 10+. One fucking practice (because my car broke down).

That's another thing. I come up with reasons why I can't do things and they say they don't care about my excuses. I should be ready to tackle the responsibility no matter what happens.

Dick.

When my guitarist was unemployed his mother was giving him $400 a month to live, not including free-rent, a credit card for gas, and free food. He was unemployed for three months.

I was unemployed for a whole three weeks. During this time, I had to borrow and scrounge for money that I fucking wasted on the band (since they were smoking me out and buying me beer, I didn't want them to think I was a leech) who didn't even appreciate shit I did for them in the first place. I was already in debt. Now twice as much. Not to include all the gas I burned looking for jobs (I have a V6 and live in Los Angeles: traffic capital of the universe), the band rent, and food. Luckily my house rent was already paid off. During this time, they decided it would be wise to pile on the expenses. They wanted to do this, this, that and that. Yeah. Great. When our guitarist was unemployed, I was scolded for even mentioning a small expense. Now that the tables have turned we don't care about excuses. It's not an excuse - it's a fucking reason.

My car broke down.

Booyah. More expense? Nod. Let's pile on more band expenses. Plus, oh hey, did I forget to mention that the lease is going to be up on the room so now we all need to make this enormous deposit? Nooooope. The band gets there deposit back instantaneously because they refunded the previous deposit to them from the previous lease, something they failed to tell me. They said we'd all get our money back. They weren't worried about a little more extra expense. Not at all. I mean, it was only temporary, after all.

I didn't get shit back.

I wasn't on the lease before. Of course I didn't. They failed to explain this to me when they mentioned we'd all get our deposit back. I even asked them previous to putting the money in "myself included?" "Yes." They replied.

-Cut Scene-

There's a bedroom in Philly. I've never eaten a Philly cheese steak sandwich. I've never lived on the east coast before. I've never even BEEN to the east coast before. All I've ever known is west coast slums. Ghetto ass areas filled with nothing but blacks and mexicans. I'm not complaining but dammit I wouldn't mind being middle-class for once. Cheap rent, decent area, plenty of jobs...

-Back to Story-

So there I am, out over a hundred bucks because of the deposit. Out even more money because my car broke down. Out even more money because I take days off work to practice (I don't want to be crucified, after all). My guitarist asks me for "his" money. What a dick faced cock-sucking donkey-fucking shit monger. What sort of shit eater asks for money when he knows the other person is out. What sort of low-life chumscrubber hits up his roommate for money that's over a month old after his dog chewed up an impressive amount of electronics. What a cunt rag. I hope he chokes on the power cord his dog chewed while getting fucked in the ass by Kimbo Slice.

This is a long entry that was originally intended for my journal, but I need advice. Not even advice so much but lately no one has been on my side. Since I've moved to Los Angeles all my friends have stopped talking to me (except one). I don't have anyone on my side and the one person that is just... isn't enough. It seems as though he's just taking an educated guess as to who's right instead of actually hearing the full story. I need some sort of reassurance. I don't usually, but right now, since my whole life is up in the air right now and is going to change drastically very soon, I'm scared.

Honestly.

I'm 19-years-old. I've been through so much it's absolutely fucking ridiculous. Not just this, but previous to this. This is pretty low. It's taking a toll on me mentally because I've been tolerating their condescending attitude. I've been tolerating their non-chalant way about telling me off. I've been tolerating their belittling remarks. I've been tolerating my guitarist's incessant bitching about anything he can possibly think of. For example, one of the people we shared the studio with moved out which in turn caused for all of our rent to go up. I didn't even know this person. Never met them in my entire life. My guitarist called me and bitched at me for it. Blaming me. Not giving reasons why it was my fault. He kept saying "I fucking told you this was going to happen. Why didn't you listen to me?" Uhh... I heard you, but what do you want me to do? Really. I just agreed with him at the time and apologized for the guy moving out (even though I had NOTHING to do with it whatsoever).

I know this is a really long thread with nothing but me bitching and whining. I'm aware of that. I just really, really, really needed to get this out. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I honestly don't. I have all the acquaintances in the world, but I don't even bother with them. There's no reason to.

It looks like I'll be moving to Pennsylvania.

I plan to take a break from being in a band. I'm going to spend four months or so hanging out, making money, and saving. Improving myself by doing things like working out (which I don't have time for because of the band and other financial reasons), getting my teeth fixed, and purchasing an electric drum set.

I miss the days when I used to smoke pot because I enjoyed hanging out with friends and having a good time, not because I felt as though I needed it to relieve stress. This past month has been nothing but one big long bad high. Much like this post.

Do you support my idea of moving away? I want to do something new. I'm young so maybe it's worth a shot.

On the other hand I don't know anyone but one person out there and I've never lived out there before, so I don't know what to expect.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

After reading this, i have far more respect for you then i did. Although we did headbutt in your one journal entry, i did say that you were the best part about your band and when you're the most valuable member of the band, they shouldn't really be treating you this way.

You should definetely pack your bags and hit up Philly. From my one time visit to Philly, It was a far more chilled out and accepting and nicer place then LA. Which personally i think is the cesspool of arrogance and hostility when it comes to people moving into and travelers in general, but I just may be bias, because i'm from San Fran and like most NorCal residents, i think SoCal sucks ass. It seems the situation has almost if not hit rock bottom and from here, the move could do nothing but benefit you.

Like i said before, you should go for it. Espically given the way you are being treated by the people around you. No one should have to tolerate that shit espically given how underhanded and tacky it is.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I read most of it and skimmed through the rest. Anyway, here are some thoughts about your situation.

1. Never room with anybody. You are always going to get under each other's skin sooner or later and it'll all turn to shit. Wait until marriage for that.

2. You shouldn't have held back. You should've told him everything you said about him here. You can't bottle up those kinda feelings. You need to tell him what you think of him even if it is cruel. He'll most likely fire back and you'll get into a huge verbal fight, but believe me, you'll feel so much better than you got it out.

3. I don't mean to sound like one of those people, but you gotta cut down on the weed and the beers. I personally don't smoke or drink(and never have), but when you are tight with money like you are, you need to spend it on useful things. You have to learn how to manage your money better.

4. Don't pay your friend back. If what you said is true about his dog ruining your electronics, I wouldn't have even considered paying him back and I wouldn't have accepted him not paying me back. He didn't have to let you live there. The second he let you live there, he becomes partly responsible for your things that you are keeping there. Especially if HIS dog ruined it. He is absolutely responsible. No real friend tells you that you already owe them so you are even. This person is a jerk and isn't a real friend. No real friend would act like that.

5. I live in Philly. Born and raised. It is my favorite place in the world, but you really need to consider some things before a) moving in general and b) moving to philly of all places. For one, some people make irrational decisions. Take a breather, make sure you absolutely want to move before you do anything. Secondly, you should know before you move here that Philly right now is a very dangerous place to live. Philly is destroying every other city right now in terms of murders and homicides. Philly is setting record numbers in this department and is getting worse every single year. You'll want to be real careful where you live here, because some neighborhoods are simply not save for people to live.

Cheesesteaks are the greatest food ever, so if you do move here make sure to send me a PM. I can hook you up with all kinda of locations to get great food around here(not just cheesesteaks). So let me know if you move up here.

6. Life is tough and everyone goes through their problems. You are in a crisis right now, and you'll definitely go through more in your life. Your time on this earth is not long. You have to do what makes you happy. From reading it seems like you were doing a lot of things to please other people. Screw them, seriously. There is no reason you should go through life miserable. None. Sit back, and think about what you want for your life and go out there and get it. Don't like anyone get in your way.


7. Every town, city, and place has jerks. Moving to Philly won't be any sort of a safe haven. People have judged me and disrespected me my entire life. People still do. Wanna know something? I've grown to love and embrace disrespect. I use it as motivation to keep bringing the best out in myself. It no longer bothers me even in the slightest. People can judge and disrespect me all they want, but it is nothing but talk. None of it matters. No one can stop you from doing what you want to do. My advice is to use the people like in your story as motivation to become stronger. You won't ever be able to find the perfect place where everyone gets along and treats you right. That is unfortunately what the world has come to. I have just come to terms with the fact that this is the way it will be and you need to learn to handle it to a capacity.

8. Good luck

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Divest, where is your family? You said you moved to L.A., but do you have old friends/family back in your home town who you could go while you get yourself back on your feet?

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Iwata

After reading this, i have far more respect for you then i did. Although we did headbutt in your one journal entry, i did say that you were the best part about your band and when you're the most valuable member of the band, they shouldn't really be treating you this way.

You should definetely pack your bags and hit up Philly. From my one time visit to Philly, It was a far more chilled out and accepting and nicer place then LA. Which personally i think is the cesspool of arrogance and hostility when it comes to people moving into and travelers in general, but I just may be bias, because i'm from San Fran and like most NorCal residents, i think SoCal sucks ass. It seems the situation has almost if not hit rock bottom and from here, the move could do nothing but benefit you.

Like i said before, you should go for it. Espically given the way you are being treated by the people around you. No one should have to tolerate that shit espically given how underhanded and tacky it is.

Yeah, I agree with you for the most part, and thanks.

Los Angeles is a shit hole. I fucking hate it. There's nothing here. Everyone expects too much for how little they're willing to give just because it's LA (I'm talking about the job market out here, mostly). Not to mention there are no decent community colleges around. Now that I'm not in a band anymore, I would like to say fuck this whole music thing for a little while and maybe focus on school. Who knows what I'll do. Probably something stupid.

Originally Posted by DragoonKain

I read most of it and skimmed through the rest. Anyway, here are some thoughts about your situation.

1. Never room with anybody. You are always going to get under each other's skin sooner or later and it'll all turn to shit. Wait until marriage for that.

2. You shouldn't have held back. You should've told him everything you said about him here. You can't bottle up those kinda feelings. You need to tell him what you think of him even if it is cruel. He'll most likely fire back and you'll get into a huge verbal fight, but believe me, you'll feel so much better than you got it out.

3. I don't mean to sound like one of those people, but you gotta cut down on the weed and the beers. I personally don't smoke or drink(and never have), but when you are tight with money like you are, you need to spend it on useful things. You have to learn how to manage your money better.

4. Don't pay your friend back. If what you said is true about his dog ruining your electronics, I wouldn't have even considered paying him back and I wouldn't have accepted him not paying me back. He didn't have to let you live there. The second he let you live there, he becomes partly responsible for your things that you are keeping there. Especially if HIS dog ruined it. He is absolutely responsible. No real friend tells you that you already owe them so you are even. This person is a jerk and isn't a real friend. No real friend would act like that.

5. I live in Philly. Born and raised. It is my favorite place in the world, but you really need to consider some things before a) moving in general and b) moving to philly of all places. For one, some people make irrational decisions. Take a breather, make sure you absolutely want to move before you do anything. Secondly, you should know before you move here that Philly right now is a very dangerous place to live. Philly is destroying every other city right now in terms of murders and homicides. Philly is setting record numbers in this department and is getting worse every single year. You'll want to be real careful where you live here, because some neighborhoods are simply not save for people to live.

Cheesesteaks are the greatest food ever, so if you do move here make sure to send me a PM. I can hook you up with all kinda of locations to get great food around here(not just cheesesteaks). So let me know if you move up here.

6. Life is tough and everyone goes through their problems. You are in a crisis right now, and you'll definitely go through more in your life. Your time on this earth is not long. You have to do what makes you happy. From reading it seems like you were doing a lot of things to please other people. Screw them, seriously. There is no reason you should go through life miserable. None. Sit back, and think about what you want for your life and go out there and get it. Don't like anyone get in your way.


7. Every town, city, and place has jerks. Moving to Philly won't be any sort of a safe haven. People have judged me and disrespected me my entire life. People still do. Wanna know something? I've grown to love and embrace disrespect. I use it as motivation to keep bringing the best out in myself. It no longer bothers me even in the slightest. People can judge and disrespect me all they want, but it is nothing but talk. None of it matters. No one can stop you from doing what you want to do. My advice is to use the people like in your story as motivation to become stronger. You won't ever be able to find the perfect place where everyone gets along and treats you right. That is unfortunately what the world has come to. I have just come to terms with the fact that this is the way it will be and you need to learn to handle it to a capacity.

8. Good luck

1. Well, I've lived with roommates pretty much all of my "adult" life (16 and on). I moved out when I was super young and since then have been living with strangers pretty much the whole time. I'm used to rooming with people, it's just that this is intolerable (and I've had some awful roommates before).

2. You're right and I actually regret it now, but I'm sure the time will come later and I'll take advantage of it then. At that point since everything blew up so fast I still wasn't sure about moving to Pennsylvania. I figured I would end up wanting to keep the peace (and band) anyways, so I didn't want to burn that bridge too hastily.

3. You're right about this, but moreso with the weed. I've actually stopped drinking so I'm half way there. I only picked it up because of them. I was impressionable and thought it was the cool thing to do. I didn't know they drank because they're all miserable losers with nothing going on for them. I could sit here and talk shit on their character all day but... eh.

4. Not so much my friend as guitarist. This past month it's been pretty obvious to me that we're not friends. He's just my guitarist and since about an hour ago, no longer even that. He's been reduced even further to roommate. I don't want to pay him back, but because I still have another month on my lease I'm thinking it'll be necessary to prevent the tension from building too high. I would like to keep my very short remaining time here as peaceful as possible. I just want to work two jobs (one full-time and one part-time) so I can pay off the debt that I've incurred while staying in Los Angeles and save up enough money to move (even though my friend offered to help me).

5. I live in between Watts and Compton right now. I've lived in the "ghetto" all my life. Being a white boy that shit ain't easy. I admire things like graffiti (it can be very artistic and breath-taking if viewed with an open enough mind), and am extremely knowledgeable when it comes to knowing where to avoid. I see and smell that shit from a mile away. I'm not looking to get myself killed, trust me. You won't see me take credit for very much but street smarts is the only thing that I can honestly say I've got.

I will definitely send you a PM once I'm out there. I would really, really, really love to eat an authentic philly cheese steak. That'll be one of the first things I do once I get out there.

6. You're right. I haven't been doing things to make me happy. I think maybe my band saw that and decided to take advantage of that. Once I didn't bend for them completely (because I'm what I like to call a person with some sense of self-appreciation) they got fed up because they weren't getting the things they expected of me (a lifeless impressionable drone).

7. I understand. I've lived in many places. Like I said, I moved out when I was young and since then have pretty much just been traveling around trying to find a fit. As soon as I arrived in Los Angeles, I knew it wasn't a fit. I hate it here. SO fucking much. I can't say that Philly will be right for me, but I'll never know unless I give it a shot. There's nothing holding me here anymore.

8. Thank you.

Originally Posted by Midna

Divest, where is your family? You said you moved to L.A., but do you have old friends/family back in your home town who you could go while you get yourself back on your feet?

My Mother lives in a tiny apartment with a bunch of other family members. They've literally got four people sleeping to a room. I'd rather not elaborate any further to be honest. She'd be more than willing to let me move in sure. She loves me and I love her and care for my Mother deeply but I can't move in. Things are too miserable there. She couldn't possibly bear the burden of myself as well as the rest of my family. Again, I don't want to elaborate any further (even though I did), so take that for what it is, if you will.

My Father and I don't get along. Enough said. I've tried it. It doesn't work. At all. Ever.

I lived with my Uncle not too long ago... he kicked me out because I didn't want to work for the same company he did. Unfortunately I'm more of a thinker than a laborer and well... you get the idea. I was going to college at that time until he pulled the rug out from under me. Even though I dropped out in the 10th grade I was doing very well in college. I was impressed with myself. I would like to start again eventually, but haven't found the time. Or maybe that's just my excuse.

Other than that I don't really have any other family here that would let me stay with them. Besides, I've been on my own since I was 15, moved out when I was 16 and been on my own ever since (except for the brief stint I lived with my uncle which lasted about 6 months).




EDIT:
Also, I don't know if this is important to anyone but... my ex-band mates are all older than me. The member that's closest to myself in age is my former guitarist who is 26. So, seven years is the closest. I think the oldest is in his early-thirties. The other guitarist (only member I got along with towards the end) is 27, has a hot girlfriend, college degree from UCLA, and a kick-ass high paying job. He would belittle me, but it was tolerable from him just because he really is better than me. I can't top that shit. My roommate is 26 and umm... well... there's not too much going on here. No college or anything. Brand new job. Not a whole lot going on there. My drummer he's early thirties... he's an alcoholic. He smokes so much weed and drinks so much it's ridiculous. No college. Lives with his mother... that's the thing about all my band mates. They ALL live with their parents (except my roommate, but he lives in his Mother's house free of charge so it's pretty much the same thing, I think).

I was speaking idiomatically.

At risk of lowering the IQ of your thread...

That's a pretty shitty way to live. I can't imagine having to put up with that stuff everyday. I'm surprised you didn't snap sooner. I would definitely move to Philly. It'll be good just to get away from everything you're used to and start fresh. Maybe even take some more classes. It wouldn't hurt and some educational background will probably help you get better paying jobs while you're working on starting a band. (I assume that you're pursuing that sort of career since you seemed so focused on your band.)

I'm not terribly good at geography, but I do know that Philly's pretty close(Well, several hours drive) to Boston and New York. So, if you're looking for some great opportunities that'd be the place to go.

I agree with Dragoon, definitely don't pay the guy back. Letting his dog chew your crap is really shitty, especially not owning up to it.

Anyways, I hope things end up going better for you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

It wasn't easy at first, to be honest. I really had to bite the bullet and suck it up. It's hard swallowing your pride. It gets easier, though.

The only reason I'm not doing it anymore is because I don't see things getting any better. They were getting progressively worse and now it's pretty much hit rock bottom. If things are only going to get worse than what reason do I have for sticking around.

I do plan on visiting Boston and New York though. Without a doubt in my mind. The next super-amazing super, super, super meet they have in that area I'm down (if I'm invited, of course).

FELIPE NO

If you come to New York you'll have to hang with me.
Or at least crash if you need to stay for a day to do whatever stuff you'd do in New York. >_>;; No charge. That'd be silly.

Meets are awesome. Not that I've ever been to one, but I'm going to hang out with Smelnick, Rat and Qube this summer.

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Well, your offer is definitely very much appreciated. I guess I read you wrong and sorry about attacking you in the other thread. :/

I will definitely visit you once I get to New York.

Aren't you going to be living in Georgia soon or something like that?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'd definitely make the move. Like DragoonKain, I've spent almost all my life in the Philly area. I can tell you everything he says about it is true. There are a lot of areas there that are just pure ghetto and they infect the fringe areas around it overtime like a plague. Still, knowing this, I'd say make the move anyway. You're young and sounds like you haven't seen much of the world so it'll definitely be a very life-altering experience for you. After moving somewhere for a few years different from where you were then you'll know what type of place you belong in more. You'll better understand your needs and be able focus on that.

Just keep in your mind carefully that when you move, things will not be better... but they will be different. They might even be much worse, especially at first, because you'll need to worry about income, friendships, learning new locations, etc.

I moved to Florida from the Philly area 3 years ago, best damn thing I could've ever done. I remember riding with a co-worker in Orlando who informed me we were in the "ghetto" at one time here, I laughed hysterically at them. I know some other people from LA who hate it there, never been anywhere else, and won't move. I've never been there so I can't comment much on it but it doesn't sound like a great area to me and if I were in that kind of situation, I'd definitely bail for something new.

And yeah... there is one nice thing about the Philly area... the location is close to lots of stuff. Couple hours to the north you've got mountains, east you've got ocean-front, west there's tons of rural area, large cities nearby including DC, Baltimore, and New York. It's been a long time since I did the NYC trip but I think you could get there in like 2.5 hours or so from driving and it's a prime job location as well as center for art and design... sounds like something relative to what you're doing with music.

One last thing, a bit of side advice.... if you do make this move to this house... try to make it seem to your roommates that you almost don't live there. Create your personal space and set up some barriers. You should only be sharing the kitchen, bathroom, and living room areas. So just always clean up after the first 2 when you're done there. Get in, do what you need, be clean about it, get out. Every room you go into should look as it did before you entered it. I learned that a long time ago and people we'll find you're very easy to live with if you live by that rule. You'll wanna keep that weed habit away too. Weed is all over the place in the Philly area. I'd say about over 95% of my high school class had at least tried it and after moving I came to find out... that is not the norm everywhere. So the offers will come up again soon I'm sure, turn em down and tell them you're not really into it... tried it and it's not really your thing. Because like your other roommate, sometimes people feel like you owe them something if they let you smoke with them and I'm sorry, that's kinda bullshit.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

What Dragoonkain said.

You know... I didn't get the chance to tell you, but I used to be a Texan. Your story seem to reflect a lot of similar reasons for why I left there for VA. How that for a coincidence. I left my family however, not bandmates/friends though.

I don't regret it at all for moving 20 hours away from all I knew as far as calling home. Its quite a move, but it'll be refreshing to do so to say at the least. I have no one but SD and his friends to help me out when I came here. I was happy with that (thanks to GFF!) and only advice I can give you is well, just keep it open for more buds to help you out.

I'm sure you'll meet his friends and network from there to get to places you need to go. Seriously, keep it open for these people, making yourself approachable is a plus.

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Originally Posted by Divest

Aren't you going to be living in Georgia soon or something like that?

Well, this summer I'll be in Georgia, leaving next week. Then I'm moving to New York in August.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Iwata

You should definetely pack your bags and hit up Philly. From my one time visit to Philly, It was a far more chilled out and accepting and nicer place then LA. Which personally i think is the cesspool of arrogance and hostility when it comes to people moving into and travelers in general, but I just may be bias, because i'm from San Fran and like most NorCal residents, i think SoCal sucks ass.

I'm doing the exact opposite move, going from growing up and living near Philly (and college in Pittsburgh) to LA, and nobody I know understands why I'm dreading it. I spent last summer out in California (Irvine) and absolutely can't stand the people that live out there. There's just some sort of completely different feel to people out here in the midatlantic states and there's no way I'd ever take the self-involved LA attitude over it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Kalekkan

One last thing, a bit of side advice.... if you do make this move to this house... try to make it seem to your roommates that you almost don't live there. Create your personal space and set up some barriers. You should only be sharing the kitchen, bathroom, and living room areas. So just always clean up after the first 2 when you're done there. Get in, do what you need, be clean about it, get out. Every room you go into should look as it did before you entered it. I learned that a long time ago and people we'll find you're very easy to live with if you live by that rule. You'll wanna keep that weed habit away too. Weed is all over the place in the Philly area. I'd say about over 95% of my high school class had at least tried it and after moving I came to find out... that is not the norm everywhere. So the offers will come up again soon I'm sure, turn em down and tell them you're not really into it... tried it and it's not really your thing. Because like your other roommate, sometimes people feel like you owe them something if they let you smoke with them and I'm sorry, that's kinda bullshit.

No. I understand. I mean, I don't want to be afraid of people. I just need to avoid getting so comfortable with my roommates to the point where they try and take advantage of me. I'm a really nice and kind person who does everything in his power to avoid conflict but I can't stand it when people walk all over me just because they think it's okay.

Originally Posted by Philia

I'm sure you'll meet his friends and network from there to get to places you need to go. Seriously, keep it open for these people, making yourself approachable is a plus.

I'm an approachable person, Philia. Very approachable.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

I'm doing the exact opposite move, going from growing up and living near Philly (and college in Pittsburgh) to LA, and nobody I know understands why I'm dreading it. I spent last summer out in California (Irvine) and absolutely can't stand the people that live out there. There's just some sort of completely different feel to people out here in the midatlantic states and there's no way I'd ever take the self-involved LA attitude over it.

Dude. I liked Irvine. If you didn't like the people in Irvine you're going to hate LA. Not only are they self-involved, but they're arrogant and violent. Ever get in a fight on the side of the freeway? I never had until I moved here. The area is shitty, the people are mean, and most don't even speak English. The job market out here sucks ass compared to the cost of living.

If you're going to move out here make sure you move to West LA, Hollywood, or Beverly Hills. Those are the only places where I would say it's actually safe for a person such as yourself to be. You probably don't believe what I'm telling you and will just blow it off, but trust me on this one thing. If you ever, ever, ever take even one tiny small piece of advice from me, let it be this: if you move to Los Angeles, make sure it's West LA, Hollywood, or Beverly Hills. Otherwise with the traffic and people... you won't last very long, I can promise you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Philly is only a 2 hour or so drive away from a lot of places in NJ that are great(if you are going for the right things). You get to Wildwood, Ocean City, Atlantic City in about 2 hours or less for AC.

Since you lived in California, you probably know your fair share about great beaches, so the NJ shores probably wouldn't do much good for you in that department, but man Wildwood has one great boardwalk. Lately the caliber of people have declined. There are a lot of white trash and thugs littered there now, but it is still a fun place to go. Miles of nothing but food, games, rides, and beaches. If you want to get away from it all, take a little trip down there from when you get to Philly and just relax. You'll blow a lot of money so be careful though. Only go if you can afford it. At this point you really need to be careful with your money.

NY would still be a cool place to check out, but I'm just saying NJ is a very underrated place to go. No one thinks of it because its so small and PA and NY tower over it, but it has some great places and great food in some areas.


As someone said before though, Philly is probably a lot more relaxed than LA. I've never been to LA, but I've heard that it is very high-maintenence and self-absorbed in a lot of areas. Aside from the bad crime here, Philly is pretty laid back. It is a blue collar town in every defintion of the word. People here get up early, go to work, come home and put dinner on the table. They really don't focus on all the high-life extra stuff. It is a very homey town. It doesn't have the sights and touristy stuff that places like NY and DC have, but it has great food and is pretty cozy and comfortable. Again though, some areas you just really need to stay out of. Mostly parts of north, west, and southwest Philly.

Any idea what section you are moving to?

FELIPE NO

I have no idea. I know it's about 15 miles from downtown.

I'm glad they don't deal with all that extra crap. It gets annoying here real quick, but I can't complain.

Philadelphia will add to the list of major cities/counties I've lived in.

Los Angeles
Las Vegas
San Antonio
Philadelphia (soon to be)

I was actually considering moving to Arizona before this (go figure) but since my friend offered me such an irresisitable place. It's just like in the movies I've seen of housing on the east coast.

Check it out:

The street I'll be living on.


The front of the house.


A photo of my room to be.


My future roommate and the living room of the house.


The kitchen.


What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

15 minutes from downtown... you should be in a decent area(not 100% certain though), and you'll be in pretty close distance to a lot of good places to get food that I'll give you. South Philly/Downtown has like 75% of the best food and everything in Philly.

By the looks of you places you lived, you'll definitely have to adjust to Philly winters. It can get pretty cold here, but I personally like it. I know tons of people out there would have it 70 degrees every single day if they could, but I love having a mixture of the seasons. The NY, PA, NJ are gets a great mix of all the seasons. You get the hot, cold, warm, and cool, but it never gets too intensely bad as to where it's too much.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

That's what my friend told me. He said Philly gets all the seasons. I really, really, really can't wait. I'm so excited now. Los Angeles has horrible air, hot as fuck weather (even in the winter) and well... we don't really get a winter here at all. At night you can't see any stars.

I updated the pictures so those should work. Do you think that looks like a slightly decent area? Rent is pretty cheap $325 a month. I heard the job market for office jobs is decent out there. Basically, I could pay my month's rent with a one week check. I'm moving out there mostly because I would like to save money and take some time off from the world as a whole. I want to get myself together and find who I am really am before I make any more long terms commitments.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Divest

If you're going to move out here make sure you move to West LA, Hollywood, or Beverly Hills. Those are the only places where I would say it's actually safe for a person such as yourself to be. You probably don't believe what I'm telling you and will just blow it off, but trust me on this one thing. If you ever, ever, ever take even one tiny small piece of advice from me, let it be this: if you move to Los Angeles, make sure it's West LA, Hollywood, or Beverly Hills. Otherwise with the traffic and people... you won't last very long, I can promise you.

I'll be living in Pasadena in housing owned by my school (cheaper than surrounding area and it's maintained pretty well), and I didn't feel a terrible vibe while visiting there. It was much worse when I was up at UCSB and I felt like I'd have to smash someone's head in before my time was through there. Pasadena felt like an older city than most of the rest of California I had been in (the neighborhoods looked light they were right out of Adam-12 which made me laugh a little bit), so my goal is to pretty much never go on a freeway so I can stay in my secluded little pocket of the city.

I guess the defining experience for Irvine was when I woke up one morning dying for a diner-like breakfast. I couldn't find anything good in the phone book, google maps said there was a Denny's about two miles away, and when I went there, there was none. I stopped in a Starbucks to ask if anyone know of somewhere I could get waffles, bacon, sausage, and eggs for breakfast and they're like "Oh, there's one right down the street." "How much for breakfast." "Uhh, only like $15." I wound up having to drive to the inland part of Newport Beach (I forget the number, it's the road that runs from the peninsula across Route 1. Took me almost an hour and a half just to find somewhere to even find a restaurant that had a cheap breakfast place.

DragoonKain didn't mention it, but Ocean City, Maryland is also a great place. It's pretty family oriented, and there's some nice beaches (I feel they're nicer than NJ's), so my family's vacationed there every summer forever. If you're into golfing it's a fantastic destination as well. Lots of pretty reasonably priced, well maintained courses there. Only a couple of hours away from Philly now that they've got all the highways up and running, too.

Edit: Just be careful of the humidity you're going to be seeing in the summer. You might get hot out in LA, but Philly gets the same hot as there, PLUS a boatload of hot, wet air. Also, does your place have AC? Better start stocking up on fans and t-shirts to change out of if you don't.

And if you're looking for cheap living and a decent job market, I think Pittsburgh is also a pretty solid bet. The city's been consistently well ranked on quality of living scales, and for the price of a small rancher house in Pasadena you could buy two three story houses in a really nice neighborhood (pretty much around where Capo and I live).

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I can't tell from those pics (a lot of Philly neighborhoods look exactly the same in some areas) but you should be ok. You'll be ok anywhere pretty much. Just make sure you don't do the stupid things like walk around too much at night. It sounds lame and prudeish, but it is better to be safe than sorry. Philly is really really bad in murders right now, so you just have to be careful.

You'll be able to find a job here I'd say. I don't think there would be too much trouble. The only thing is, minimum wage is a lot lower here than LA I believe, but on the flipside, it is probably quite cheaper here to live compared to LA, but I could be wrong.

Another good thing about Philly is, there is a deli or pizza place on every single corner pretty much. So you'll never have to look far to get something to eat. Also grocery stores are always pretty close, so you should be cool there too.

Also make sure you get some water ice. Most west coasties have never had it let alone heard of it. Water ice and a soft pretzel in the summer is unbeatable.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

What's water ice?

Minimum wage here in LA is $7.50. Well, that's for all of California. I'm going to be shooting for a $12 an hour job to start (my friend says he's had the opportunity to have plenty of those, but he didn't live in the right area at the time). Maybe I'll try and find something a little bit better but mostly I'm going to find something I enjoy.

I really can't wait to experience all this Philly stuff. It sounds so much different from the West Coast. I mean, just being in Texas was a lot different than being in Cali. The east coast I'd imagine is probably a whole 'nother world.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

I'll be living in Pasadena in housing owned by my school (cheaper than surrounding area and it's maintained pretty well), and I didn't feel a terrible vibe while visiting there. It was much worse when I was up at UCSB and I felt like I'd have to smash someone's head in before my time was through there. Pasadena felt like an older city than most of the rest of California I had been in (the neighborhoods looked light they were right out of Adam-12 which made me laugh a little bit), so my goal is to pretty much never go on a freeway so I can stay in my secluded little pocket of the city.

Yeah, Pasadena is pretty okay for the most part. That's not really considered part of actual Los Angeles, though. It's in LA county, but the people around here don't really consider it. You'll understand what I mean once you move out here. There's several sections of LA county... that's one of the non-LA sections, basically.

I liked Orange County a lot. It sounds like you just had a bad run in, but you're right. Everything is extremely expensive out there. It's much nicer than the rest of California, though. I think you're referring to PCH (Pacific Coast Highway), or the peninsula to Balboa island which I think it is Newport Blvd. I'm not really sure anymore as I didn't even have a car when I lived out there. The bus system was so amazingly efficient I didn't need one.

Did you mean San Bernardino or Santa Barbara? San Bernardino is probably the worst place in So Cal (besides Los Angeles). I was out there for less than a matter of weeks before I was jumped by several guys. It's a shit area and the people out there all seem to be dumb as horseshit. They believe San Bernardino is the most important place in the world. If you're not talking about San Bernardino then uh... well. >_>

I just asked if the place has air conditioning... I'm really praying it does at this point. Las Vegas was extremely humid as well. Gag. I hated it. I remember being all sticky all day. Oh, and combing my hair was a bitch (since it's long).

I don't really have much of a say in where I move at this point. I've already put the deposit down (or my friend has, rather) and I've got a verified address and everything. There's pictures above if you care to look. I'm just hoping that Philly's job market v.s. cost of living is as decent as Pittsburghs, then.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

And if you're looking for cheap living and a decent job market, I think Pittsburgh is also a pretty solid bet. The city's been consistently well ranked on quality of living scales, and for the price of a small rancher house in Pasadena you could buy two three story houses in a really nice neighborhood (pretty much around where Capo and I live).

Hey, it ain't the Most Livable City in America for nothing! =)

But, yeah, best of luck wherever you wind up, Div. Sounds like you've had a tough go of it, but maybe this will be the one thing that really turns all that around.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hard to explain what water ice is. Philly has a lot of water ice stands all over the place. I've never met anyone that didn't love it so I'm sure you'll like it a lot. It is very refreshing.

http://ritasice.com/products_italianIce.cfm

Is one of the major chains that started in the Philly area and now is spread throughout the east coast.

FELIPE NO

Rita's is ass compared to some of the local varieties I've had. I still remember one of my favorite childhood memories was going to the Vet to see a Phillies game and getting a lemon water ice on those really hot days when we had seats up in the 700 level and there's no shade in sight.

You should be fine getting a job that pays around $10/hr. In Pittsburgh you can split a pretty decent two bedroom aparment or a house for as little as $300/month a person, utilities are cheaper (except for gas if that's what heats your place, try to get somewhere that it's included or has good insulation), as should just about everything else. Just get used to having worse tasting fruits, though. Nothing beat what I would get from this farmer's market out in Irvine.

I was talking about UC Santa Barbara, actually. I flew out to there and Caltech to look at them for grad school and just couldn't stand the people at Santa Barbara.

Also, if you think public transit in Irvine was good, wait until you get out east where you've got the SEPTA system in Philly. You can take local transit to New York for pretty cheap or even out to lots of the suburbs for just a few bucks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Oh okay, I recognize that now. I've seen one shop in San Bernardino that carried this stuff, but I didn't have the funds on me to try it at the time. I'll definitely give it a shot once I get out there seeing as how it's pretty popular and easier to get.

Jam it back in, in the dark.