"You see faces, not hearts.."

When I was growing up that's what my parents always told me growing up when I met new people or tried to make new friends...

"Nino... You see faces, not hearts..."

Basically, it's like saying sure someone can seem nice upfront but that doesn't mean he doesn't have cruel intentions..

So growing up with that and being told that everytime I met someone new, you can understand that I have a little bit of trust issues with people..

And then the other day I was watching Penn and Teller's Bullshit and they did an episode on parents being too over protective to the point of using fear tactics to get their kids to stay safe...

So my question to you is... Are fear tactics okay to be used by parents in order to try to keep their kids safe? Or is it too much to the point that the parents are actually doing damage to the child?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Listen to your mommy. Mommy knows best.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by bluesy violin

Listen to your mommy. Mommy knows best.

Fuck what mommy has to say. She's a cunt... lol

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

God, you're way too fucking sensitive.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Your parents are weird.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by a lurker

Your parents are weird.

I'm guessing less weird and more wistful. I mean, you have to imagine that if they'd known...





What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I don't understand how that quote from your parents was meant to inspire fear. It seems to me that any parent would want their child to have experiences where they are not easily deceived (unless a surprise party or Santa Claus is involved).

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by coeccias

I don't understand how that quote from your parents was meant to inspire fear. It seems to me that any parent would want their child to have experiences where they are not easily deceived (unless a surprise party or Santa Claus is involved).

Well, whenever I made friends or built any kind of relation with anyone they always try to make me keep my distance from the person.. They didn't just say that quote.. i was just giving an example.

They would always try to hint that the person might try to steal from me or that they had some underlying purpose for befriending me (Like anyone really has anything to gain from me other then a headache and how deni put it... a greater appreciation for abortion clinics..)

Then I was watching the Penn & Teller show and it just got my thinking that some parents take protecting their child too much. So I thought I would just see what everyone's point of view on this was but I guess no one wants to really talk about it..

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Furby

Then I was watching the Penn & Teller show and it just got my thinking that some parents take protecting their child too much.

Growing up I had the single mother syndrome. This meant that pretty much anything I wanted to do outside of the house was not allowed unless it was in the yard, and no matter what, I barely was able to hang out with my friends unless they came over to my house.

Essentially I would have rather been reminded that people are assholes everyday of my life before I went out, rather than be forced to stay cooped up in the house. Hell I was 18 years old and I went to a friend's house instead of coming right home from school...his phone was out so I couldn't call home unfortunately, but when a friend came by with a cell phone, I was greeted to a hysterically crying mother who thought I had been kidnapped and killed, and who had called the cops to report me missing.

Doesn't help that she is the Queen of guilt trips either, but I'm guessing most parents tend to be pretty good at that.

How ya doing, buddy?

on the protective topic, slightly unrelated to being protected from people...

i still get those forwarded emails from my mommy telling me "what does the air contain", "eating too much junkfood can cause cancer", "sitting for too long injurs your back", "the hidden germs under your nail" type of stuff.. ,... from the obscure doctors' research online... somewhere.
.... i always get into an arguement that she's being over sensitive because we get cancer from just breathing! (now that i believe )

ironically, i think that i'll die from one of those causes she had sent me. OR by something else BUT purely by coinsidence and chance that the cause is there to 'prove her right'


as for people.
well, there is no way of defending our-self from them right?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It's one of those things you don't fully understand until you're in their shoes. There are some things that could be damaging over time but I think sometimes being pushed away either by fear or other means could be good. I'm a parent myself. I'm not sure if I would use fear as a deterant because I know things are sometimes out of your control. But if I can do something, I sure as hell will.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

yes, i'd definately watchout for myself but not up to the point of paranoia.
maybe i just need to read about it myself rather than being forwarded to. i really dislike forwarded-messages.
what i meant is the worry to a point where to tell me stop eating beef completly because some study says that it can clog up the arteries

sure it adds up, but nor does it go away all of the sudden when you STOP eating and as if all the beef you ate before will not count++

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by greatPumpkin

yes, i'd definately watchout for myself but not up to the point of paranoia.
maybe i just need to read about it myself rather than being forwarded to. i really dislike forwarded-messages.
what i meant is the worry to a point where to tell me stop eating beef completly because some study says that it can clog up the arteries

sure it adds up, but nor does it go away all of the sudden when you STOP eating and as if all the beef you ate before will not count++

Yeah I can understand that but at this point you're already aware of these things. Regardless of the fear involved in an outcome, if you're aware of it than it may not bother you. But if you never knew or were never aware of it to begin with, that's entirely different.


Like telling a little kid that they could die from a single drink of alcohol. Sure it doesn't sound plausible to you but to someone who has no idea could find that as serious.


And just becoming aware of a certain thing even though you've been following that particular thing for awhile doesn't change the fact that you did it. But still it's a step in the other direction and by choice which is much healthier than fear tactics.

I was speaking idiomatically.

My mom didn't let me watch the Simpsons till I was a teenager. My catalogue of fart jokes was ruined.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I was pretty sheltered as a kid, since I was raised by my grandparents. So, I got to hear/see how bad of fuck-ups my parents were as I grew up and wasn't directly affected by their issues.

My grandparents weren't super-strict about my friends and all, but my grandma wouldn't let me go anywhere with some new friend until she had thoroughly spoken to their parents about what was and wasn't going to be happening, and until she knew what kind of people they were. It was kind of lame as hell, but it's really not a bad idea, considering. At least I was able to go out without them worrying too much, I guess.

I'm still living with my grandma for various reasons--mostly lack of funds, and because otherwise she'd be alone in the house and all that jazz. It works out ok. But, she still treats me like I'm some kid who doesn't know how to do anything. And oh gawd... when she found out I have MS, I finally had to tell her to back the fuck off cause she was just crowding me. You'd have thought I was dying in the next week or so.

FELIPE NO

I used to hang out freely since my parents let me; they trusted me going to somewhere fine. The only thing annoying was they giving calls too many, even during movie time. Seems parents have hard times trusting their child's friendship, no matter how nice the friends are.

Now that my illness literally screw my outdoor activities a lot and corrodes my stamina, their faces frown even if I'm visiting someone's house down the block.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Ozma

I used to hang out freely since my parents let me; they trusted me going to somewhere fine. The only thing annoying was they giving calls too many, even during movie time. Seems parents have hard times trusting their child's friendship, no matter how nice the friends are.

Now that my illness literally screw my outdoor activities a lot and corrodes my stamina, their faces frown even if I'm visiting someone's house down the block.

I wouldn't say it's all about them not trusting you. For some parents, they just care about your wellbeing. Maybe they had it different when they were kids and they don't want to see the same mistakes or problems. And yes, some may just be really fucking paranoid. But regardless, I think in hindsight most parents just care deeply for their children.



Even if they don't know how to express it without freaking the kids out.

How ya doing, buddy?

I have to say i'm the same way. My mom was more passive about it while my dad was very vocal. For example, recently i graduated from a 2 year school getting my associates degree then transferred to a 4 year. I wanted to move out of my parents though as I felt it would help us sustain a more civil relationship. Needless to say i heard constantly it was a mistake and that I didn't know what I was doing (I'm 20).

When I was younger I also heard that people are out to get you from them. Quite often in fact. So it still carries with me and I have some of that paranoia where I don't trust people. I think I've learned to not let it get to such an extreme though.

I think parents in general fear for their kids and have a hard time letting go sometimes but there is a line between Too Much and Too Little. Towards the end of my living with them they'd usually let me hang out with my friends and let me be my own person. All in all I don't think it was that bad.

It's just the saying "You can't judge a book by it's cover".

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Jarf'd

It's just the saying "You can't judge a book by it's cover".

I do not think it means what you think it means.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

And I rebuttle that with This:



What could he possibly be thinking about?

I've also realized that Google never lies.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I've always more or less censored myself with regard to alcohol and the like. Losing my self control is not something that appeals to me.

My parents never really scared me out of doing anything, i just usually did what they told me. Either i'm really lame for never really trying to rebel, or smart for catching on after the hand-burning incident that every child seems to go through that my parents weren't lying after all.

Originally Posted by Jarf'd

I've also realized that Google never lies.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Jarf'd

And I rebuttle that with This:

English isn't really your strong point, is it Jarf?

And you still haven't proved you know how to properly use "judge a book by its cover."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Not particularly no, if you really want to get into the spelling of rebuttal. :P Check my grammar while you're at it.

All i'm saying with that saying on topic is that basically what his and my own parents were saying is that you can't judge people by their appearance or first actions 100% of the time. Is that better? At least, that's how I gathered it. Perhaps you'd like to put it a better way.

How ya doing, buddy?

Is that better?
A poem by Jarf'd

All i'm saying
with that saying
on topic
is that basically what his
and my own parents
were saying
is that you can't judge people
by their appearance
or first actions
100% of the time.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by bluesy violin

Listen to your mommy. Mommy knows best.

Why is she looking up to her kid?

Jam it back in, in the dark.