Age Barriers in Romance

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Stop being a cunt, sass.

I'm pretty sure I have a valid point, RR.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

EDIT Eh, nevermind

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by crimsonsabre

@LeHah: I practice monogamy. The kind where you don't sleep with a girl unless you want to marry her, and stay married until you're dead. Personal choice, not being moral intensive or politically correct.

That's not monogamy, buddy. That's celibacy... And celibacy can kill you.

That's right. Your NUTS WILL EXPLODE.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I'm pretty sure I have a valid point, RR.

Quote:

But, with that said, I do also have to point out we may have different ideas of what maturity is. From what I can read out, you're from a western society, while mine is Asian. There are different culture influences working at a deeper level, so we may have perceptions based on separate ideologies concerned, especially when various religious and theological doctrines are ingrained within. Of course, there's also the fact that I'm Christian, which in itself might say something.

Agreed his Christian point is pretty stupid, but I don't see the problem with the rest of his post. Also, I imagine he isn't Catholic, as your child-fucking comment would seem to suggest.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Agreed his Christian point is pretty stupid, but I don't see the problem with the rest of his post. Also, I imagine he isn't Catholic, as your child-fucking comment would seem to suggest.

We're talking about dating within a certain age range. Not about philosophy of civilizations and customs.

And I wasn't making a Catholic-exclusive statement. Religion generally has a pro-reproduction stance on their followers, in order to up the number of people following the path of that particular religion.

Some religions allow for the marriage of underage children to an adult. That is, in my book, "child-fucking." Not that I was accusing the guy of doing this at all - or even being a part of a religion that condones this behavior - but that religion really shouldn't be a part of this thought process at all, not to mention the topic at hand.

FELIPE NO

It's amazing how my stupidity from 5 years ago sparked such a debate by accident... Here's something that I found particularly odd. Alot of people found out that I asked that girl out and even knowing what our ages were, no one seemed to think there was anything wrong with it. I thought for sure everyone was going to think I was a creep after that.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

We're talking about dating within a certain age range. Not about philosophy of civilizations and customs.

So you're saying that people from eastern, latino, black, native american, and any other group you can think of have the same exact pressures and interpretations of what "mature" mean as WASPy New England?

Quote:

And I wasn't making a Catholic-exclusive statement. Religion generally has a pro-reproduction stance on their followers, in order to up the number of people following the path of that particular religion.

vs.

Quote:

Not about the philosophy of child-fucking 'cause the church needed more followers in the old days.

Quote:

Some religions allow for the marriage of underage children to an adult. That is, in my book, "child-fucking." Not that I was accusing the guy of doing this at all - or even being a part of a religion that condones this behavior - but that religion really shouldn't be a part of this thought process at all, not to mention the topic at hand.

I also imagine "child-fucking" was more acceptable in the old days because people didn't live as long. I don't imagine many women would have been able to bear kids into their mid/late 30s, so if they were going to pump out enough babies to help work on the farm they needed to get started pretty darned young (of course, the irony is how now girls are starting puberty younger than back then).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

This maturity discussion is stupid and poorly placed.

First off, yes, teenagers can be significantly more mature than their contemporaries through merit of personality, the rigors of a shitty childhood, or the drive of their educations.

But learning the valuable skill of delayed gratification doesn't make you ahead of the curve in other areas. By this I mean; how is having a savings account going to help you develop a Boyfriend Bullshit Detector (BBD)? How is being well-read going to tell you what career you'll build for yourself? That's what I mean by being misplaced. Just because a kid can pass as an adult in certain situations doesn't make them dateable to adults. Don't be pissed off at that.

But feel free to continue the debate re: old decrepit people telling kids that they're kids; kids replying 'nuh-uh'

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

So you're saying that people from eastern, latino, black, native american, and any other group you can think of have the same exact pressures and interpretations of what "mature" mean as WASPy New England?

Are you saying that my ideas of "maturity" are centered from "WASPy" New England?

I'm pretty sure I used the dictionary for my definition. Maybe it's me?

Quote:

I also imagine "child-fucking" was more acceptable in the old days because people didn't live as long. I don't imagine many women would have been able to bear kids into their mid/late 30s, so if they were going to pump out enough babies to help work on the farm they needed to get started pretty darned young (of course, the irony is how now girls are starting puberty younger than back then).

No, you're right. But it's still endorsed by many religions. Hell, out here in "WASPy" New England, I had a friend who was Hindu who got married off at the ripe age of 15. She had to drop out of high school for that marriage.

My point, however, remains that religion has no place in a conversation about "maturity." While some cultures may not all be on the same page as to what "maturity" means, there is a general standard.

And I can't think of a better place for the standard than in a conversation regarding dating and what each person considers a good "age gap" therein.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Age / 2 + 7

Christ on a stick.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yay, I can date 17-year-olds!

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well, in what may be a vain attempt to get this thread back on track, my own range would be about 4-6 years either way. I'm 28 (soon to be 29) and a 22 year old woman is about as young as I can go. And they'd have to be a mature 22, at that. I could see myself dating a somewhat older woman, though - I just wonder how loudly her biological clock would be ticking, given that I want to be a bit more settled before entretianing the possibility of becoming a parent. So there it is.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

So you're saying that people from eastern, latino, black, native american, and any other group you can think of have the same exact pressures and interpretations of what "mature" mean as WASPy New England?

So you're saying some white college guy on the internet is able to make statements about WASPs from New England?

(See, I can play ball and sound like a conceited asshole too - but I'm not on staff, so its not tolerated.)

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Originally Posted by ramoth

Age / 2 + 7

Christ on a stick.

Thank you.


I've dated women much older than myself, they still melt and giggle like women my own age when you know what you're doing. Doesn't matter. Might if I was going to get serious or get married, but for dating? Nah.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

No, you're right. But it's still endorsed by many religions. Hell, out here in "WASPy" New England, I had a friend who was Hindu who got married off at the ripe age of 15. She had to drop out of high school for that marriage.

I didn't even think it was legal to drop out of high school when you're that young. Yeah, I know some states allow marriages at ridiculessly young ages, but I thought most of them forced you to stay in school till you're a certain age.

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Hey, no need to get prissy about my religious views. It's not like I'm yakking my mouth off about God or something, merely a passive statement (albeit stupid in your eyes) that might have an effect on thought. That is, unless from what I read your hate for Christians.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

O, christ on a stick. Dragging in the religion to explain the definition of "maturity?" Sigh.

I didn't drag in religion to explain maturity, more as an added possible element to an already complicated question. Choose and discard at your whim.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

That's not monogamy, buddy. That's celibacy... And celibacy can kill you.

Definition: Monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple.

I'm sure I'm sticking pretty close to that one.



edit: screw that wall-of-text. It started to look more and more like my paper for class. New question: what's too old? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by crimsonsabre

Definition: Monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple.

I'm sure I'm sticking pretty close to that one.

You're misreading the definition, mate. Monogamy is only fucking the person you're dating. Not only ever fucking one person all the way until you're married. It means you don't cheat in relationships, not that you wait until marriage. So you're actually using it wrong, the word you want is celibacy, not monogamy. I date girl A, I fuck girl A. I break up with girl A. I date girl B, I fuck girl B, I break up with girl B. I date girl C, I fuck girl C, I break up with girl C. I've been monogamous with all of them. See the difference?

Now, you all know I'd love to just wade in here swinging with ethnographic content about maturity and concepts of the young bride phenomenon, but it's really sort of out of place in this argument. The question at hand is about how old or young a person must be for you to date. Not whether it's acceptable or decent or even if it's remotely rational. Take a deep breath people, you're arguing morality and religion in a thread about not wanting to fuck cougars.

P.S.

Stop throwing around terms like psychological and social. They hint at a definite definition, which you aren't using at all here. You're just flailing to make a point, and it isn't working.

Cougars. Seriously. Let's move on.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by crimsonsabre

Hey, no need to get prissy about my religious views. It's not like I'm yakking my mouth off about God or something, merely a passive statement (albeit stupid in your eyes) that might have an effect on thought. That is, unless from what I read your hate for Christians.

Well, thats the problem with religious people. Everything you say or have a thought on is based on your religious beliefs and everyone else perceives it that way.

Like Bruce Hornsby said "Thats just the way it is".

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

You're misreading the definition, mate. Monogamy is only fucking the person you're dating. Not only ever fucking one person all the way until you're married. It means you don't cheat in relationships, not that you wait until marriage. So you're actually using it wrong, the word you want is celibacy, not monogamy. I date girl A, I fuck girl A. I break up with girl A. I date girl B, I fuck girl B, I break up with girl B. I date girl C, I fuck girl C, I break up with girl C. I've been monogamous with all of them. See the difference?

Ah, right. My fault then.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Well, thats the problem with religious people. Everything you say or have a thought on is based on your religious beliefs and everyone else perceives it that way.

Like Bruce Hornsby said "Thats just the way it is".

Well. Shit.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by crimsonsabre

As for maturity ... what exactly *are* the standards that we're setting the bar at? I mean, I pay my various bills, I work, I'm a B+/A- student at university, since I live alone I keep my place clean and tidy at all times, I cook for myself with a healthy diet, exercise regularly, take time out when required. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't drink beyond a glass with dinner, don't hang with the 'wrong' people, don't do stupid things that might put me at a disposition for trouble or danger outside of jumping off the side of a cliff with only a piece of rope tied to my waist. I've never gotten a ticket, never had brushes with the law, and usually prefer going to an orchestra performance compared to an invitation to a rave party. I have a good relationship with all the people around me whether it be my immediate family or friends. I help out in the community, go to church on a regular basis ... yadda yadda yadda.

But, that doesn't define me as mature really, does it? I'm merely adhereing to social and economical norms as dictated by societal and parental expectations.

Actually that doesn't sound normal at all. It sounds like you are a repressed square. Please seek help.

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Two people as boring as you and your girl (must be to like you) are most likely going to have a successful, turmoil-free relationship no matter what the age difference.

FELIPE NO

Really that bad, huh?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Pretty much. Two praying mantises trapped in the same jar won't fight if they're already dead.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's not exactly as if I have no interests ... I do go snowboarding, I'm in a band, regularly attend tactical paintball games .. and various other crap.

Ugh ... sounds like I'm placing myself in a love column advert.

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Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Are you saying that my ideas of "maturity" are centered from "WASPy" New England?

I'm pretty sure I used the dictionary for my definition. Maybe it's me?

Where did you use the definition out of the dictionary?

You know, come to think of it, has anyone actually defined what "maturity" actually is? I mean, I understand how one can become "more mature," but how do you actually decide when someone is "mature enough?" If you ask someone that's 70 years old how mature someone should be before X do you really think it'll be the same answer as someone that's 30?

Quote:

No, you're right. But it's still endorsed by many religions. Hell, out here in "WASPy" New England, I had a friend who was Hindu who got married off at the ripe age of 15. She had to drop out of high school for that marriage.

My point, however, remains that religion has no place in a conversation about "maturity." While some cultures may not all be on the same page as to what "maturity" means, there is a general standard.

But, see, if someone's religion gives them strength and helps them do whatever a 'mature' person does, then shouldn't their religion be pertinent to their level of maturity?

Maybe maturity is like how only those that understand how wise they aren't are truly wise.

Originally Posted by LeHah

So you're saying some white college guy on the internet is able to make statements about WASPs from New England?

(See, I can play ball and sound like a conceited asshole too - but I'm not on staff, so its not tolerated.)

I'm a white college guy from the North East that grew up in a town where him being half-jew made him one of the most diverse students in his graduating class of 750. I think I have experience living with a bunch of WASPs.


crimsonsabre, some people just don't mesh with the more laid back lifestyle.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.