If you had a friend that woke up from a 20 year coma, what first would you tell them?

If you had a friend who was in a coma for the last 20 years, and he woke up tomorrow, and asked you to clue him/her in on what they missed while they were out, what is the first thing you'd tell them?

Would it be something personal? Maybe something like 9/11?

I don't know if someone waking up from a 20 year coma wants to hear depressing news right away. But I'd probably tell him about 9/11 first, since it's probably the most significant. Philly fans know we haven't won a championship in 23 years so mentioning anything sports wise is out of the question.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

First I would ask if he had to take a piss, then I guess I would tell him what his familly has been up to assuming they have not seen him yet. Then I would scare him with the technological awsomness we have now compared to 20 years ago.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I would of only been two when they fell into this coma so...

Anyway I really don't know, I don't care enough about 9/11 to actually mention it. I suppose I'd ask them what do they want to know and continue from there. But not to dodge the question I'd mention Micheal Jackson is weird now and possibly something on 9/11 and the WAR ON TERROR!! as I have nothing to say otherwise.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

If you all stick to the political stuff in our country then I would say that Poland sux more then 20 years ago =) We all have to get back in time and ask ourselves WHAT changed since then. TV in color, DVD, PS2, X360, HD TV a lot.

First think that I would say would be: Welcome back.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'd tell him Atari are practically extinct and he'd go back into that coma.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'd be pretty much all "welcome back lol" and he'd be "thx lol"

But otherwise I really don't know what else I'd tell him, except it's like the 80s was except everything's too modern and everyone is more paranoid.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'd be like, "Hey it's okay, Iron Maiden are still around." >_<

FELIPE NO

I'd tell him that the new Star Wars sucks. Also that everyone lives in flying cars on the moon, apes have taken over Antarctica and all meals come in pill form.

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And life is like the Jetsons.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hmm, sum up the last 20 years for a coma victim, huh? We had a couple more wars, Michael Jackson touched some kids, George Lucas made some prequels that really sucked, for some reason we still don't have flying cars, but we've built this vast interconnected web of computers that we can all use to communicate with one another instantaneously; unfortunately all we use it for is to yell at one another, play games, and look at porn. That pretty much covers all the important highlights.

Objectively, 9/11 was not a big deal. It's just details, in the grand scheme of things. That can come up later when you explain in more detail President Bush's wacky middle eastern adventure. Michael Jackson will be much bigger news to a guy who went to sleep in 1986, as will be this science fiction we call the internet.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!!"

And then point out that this is an allusion to a show he/she never watched (Futurama).

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd say something in the lines of "You owe me $50, dickhead!".

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

This depends on a lot of things - namely the mental and emotional state of the said friend. Stuff like "welcome back" and "I'm glad you're alright" are pretty much a given, so I'd think that this topic is referring to what you'd say after that.

I'd think that they would first want to hear personal things, how their family is, their partner, whatever. Political things like who the president is and events like 9/11 aren't really important until they're out functioning in the world (unless they had some kind of direct effect on him - i.e., his/her brother was killed). A lot of other things seem rather trivial when you get down to it.

I couldn't imagine what missing out on two decades would be like, or catching up with the world. Just how long would that take...? =/

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sword Familiar

I'd say something in the lines of "You owe me $50, dickhead!".

I was going to say something to that effect. But I'd also tack on interest. Then I'd tell him I married his little sister :O

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'd tell them that they've been in a coma for 20 years, today's date and where the bathroom is. Ok, so that's three things, but I'd probably do it in one sentance.

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"I'm honestly not sure where to start explaining about this, but it's probably the most important thing you're going to need to know. Since you went into that coma, we now have something called 'internets'. They are serious business..."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Fire On Ice

I'd tell them that they've been in a coma for 20 years, today's date and where the bathroom is. Ok, so that's three things, but I'd probably do it in one sentance.

Yeah me too. I'd let them come to terms with the fact that they have been in a coma for the past 20 years, and then I would do my best to cover all the 20 years that they have been in the coma for with as much information, and relevance to them as I could.

How ya doing, buddy?

If a friend of mine went into a coma twenty years ago, he probably would've been ten. I guess I'd have to be blunt but light-hearted.

"Rick, you're awake. Awesome. Look, I got some bad news for you. You're gonna look really fucking stupid when you go back to middle school. You'll probably want to shave first. But the good news is that I married your little sister! Huh? Oh right, right. It's me, Al!"

I think it's best to break them in slowly.



"Also, you'll wanna ditch the Def Leppard t-shirt. Seriously, that shit just ain't cool. I actually meant to tell you this twenty years ago, but, well, you know."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Actually, you know what? The person who said tell him about the internet is actually a good idea. I forgot all about it. It was just starting to grow into effect about 20 years ago.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It would be difficult to say something other than, "I'm glad you're awake from your 20 year coma, you big sleeper you! Oh wait, your dog died." Or something. I don't think I'll be able to bring anything serious up yet.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'd tell him it's been 20 years since he's been awake. I'd probably have more questions to ask him, like, did he dream, or could he hear me talking when he was in a coma. I guess other than that, I'd answer his questions.

I was speaking idiomatically.

After probably saying "Oh, holy shit," or something, I'd probably just say "Welcome back."

You can save the lengthy explanations after they wake up a little bit more.

How ya doing, buddy?

"Well Hi!"

Hopefully he would remember what I would look like taking in mind he last saw me twenty years ago.

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Originally Posted by Hydelloon

Hopefully he would remember what I would look like taking in mind he last saw me ten years ago.

Point. If the last time someone saw me was 20 years ago, then I'd have been 11 years old. I've kinda changed since then.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

If I had a friend from 20 years ago chances are I'd have let him go 15 years ago.

I'd probably break it to him that those who loved him have probably let go long ago, everything as he knew it has gone or changed beyond recognition, he's used up a 3rd of his life span in stasis, and he's going to have to start over from scratch regardless of that.


That way, if he still has the will to live through that, he'd have no where to go but up!

Jam it back in, in the dark.