Mad or sad?

Originally Posted by Stealth

I'm neither. I don't get mad by people just randomly yelling at me for my fuckups, neither do I get sad. If certain things are said that push my buttons, I might get angry, but not to the point of rage.

I usually just let it roll off my back.

Actually it was more about the people that you care about. Not a perfect stranger, or even a boss.

If the woman you loved yelled at you, would your initial response be anger or sadness.

Its a different scenario when its about someone YOU care about.

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I think I'm both.. I usually go through rage and sadness all at the same time. I don't cry, but you can tell I'm sad. I don't get angry very often, but it happens.

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Hell, I'd be angry. It wouldn't be the fight-to-the-death kind of angry, but maybe more like steam shooting out of my ears (which sounds very uncomfortable). Usually, though, after I simmer down a bit, I become thoughtful. Obviously, if they yelled at me, I either did something to warrant it or they've blown something way of proportion. In either case, I need to figure out how to handle it. I usually don't show my anger, so the problem wouldn't really be escalated. If it did, there'd be a lot more to think about.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'd get angry about it. Usually if the comment pertains to someone I care about, or it's something that telling me i'm fat. Usually, it's a joking thing, but I tend to take alot of things personally. Which is a bad thing sometimes.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm sad and mad at the same time. I'm smad. I actually cry when I'm yelled at, not because I'm so overrun with grief but because I'm just this ball of emotions that I can't control and I burst into tears. Then I'm so horrified that I'm crying that I cry even harder. God damn, it's disgusting.

Once I hit someone while crying. So, no I don't need no hug.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well for me, if it's a friend, normally inside I feel kind of sad, but I pretend to be angry although in reality, sometimes I feel really alone as if I need a hug really badly....but, most people...actually, nobody yet...knows the inside me through my pretend yelling and everything. So, I guess you could say I'm kind of the type that crys or feels like they need a hug. But if it was someone I really really cared about/even loved, I'd probably end up crying.

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In my past, rather than react with anger or sadness, I withdraw and become more passive. Of course inside my head I'd be pissed off to a very strong degree.

These days, after learning of the damage that built up stress can do to a body, I lash right back out. Sometimes it's productive, sometimes it's not, but at least it makes me feel back in balance.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I usually get mad at first but within 1 hour or more I usually get sad.

Whenever someone makes me feel badly, I usually get mad first but soon afterward, I start to think about the good things I've had with or seen that person do (even people I hardly know).

I usually explode a bit but then it goes into sadness. It's VERY hard for me to keep a grudge.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm not the kind of person that gets hit and starts crying. If something like that does happen I fight back.

How ya doing, buddy?

I get defensive and onverly sarcastic, so I guess that would qualify as angry. I tend to fight fire with fire when it comes to people trying to make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad because of something one person said?

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Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I've recently noticed that there are two kinds of peoples' responses when it comes to getting yelled at or made to feel bad or humiliated.

Some people get really sad, want to cry, and seem to need a hug really badly.
Others get really angry and fight back, even through tears of uncontrollable anger.

Actually, neither. When someone yells at me, or insults me, I just feel humiliated and ashamed.
For example, I have a lab partner for programming assignments, and she's handed in the first assignment and got a 99. I've haded in the second one, and got a 91. Now, granted, the second assignment is much more difficult, but I felt ... ashamed and guilty and just overall horrible. She wasn't mad or anything - in fact she felt relieved because she couldn't figure out the last question, but I still felt like a failure.
I'm the kind of person that just gets red and looks in the ground if someone insults them or speaks harshly.
I try my best to avoid confrontation, but don't get me wrong. I'm not the kind of person who gets lovey dovey with an abusive person just to make it go away - I just can't handle yelling at people when they fuck up or yell at me.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I only get sad if a close friend or relative tried to insult me or yells at me. I just don't care when other people do it, after all... they know nothing about me. It is also a good skill, because I am in the customer service business, and trust me, they can get nasty at you.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I usually keep quiet and plot my sweet, sweet revenge.
Occasionally though, especially when I am arguing with my father, I get very outwardly angry, although tears of anger never come. I just get very hot-headed and feel rather destructive.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Definitely the first. I just can't deal with people yelling at me or whatever at all. I wish I could get mad, rather than just being so pathetic.

I can still get terribly mad though, often over some really stupid insignificant things.

FELIPE NO

I usually get mad, and then feel sad a few moments later. Of course, this all depends on what the situation is that has made me feel so upset/angry/humiliated etc.

Sometimes I'll get really angry and punch something, although I try to make sure it's something soft, because hitting a brick wall doesn't exactly make me feel better. Hitting a pillow however, allows me to vent my frustration without seriously hurting anything or breaking a part of my body.

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I don't usually get the polar extremes of either, but I think for the most part I sort of meet it in the middle. it's rare that I'm in an arguement with someone, but if I am it's usually that I'd fight back [in my own not-so-ragey way] for the time being, and then need a hug afterwards as I reflect.

I suppose I'll have to fight with people more often to have a real answer though :'D

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm actually neither, I suppose you could call me passive-agressive. Just yesterday, my ex-girlfriend yelled at my face, hit me as hard as she could, and threw my laptop against the wall. The whole time I just looked at her, and I think she was actually kinda scared!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Delorean

I'm actually neither, I suppose you could call me passive-agressive. Just yesterday, my ex-girlfriend yelled at my face, hit me as hard as she could, and threw my laptop against the wall. The whole time I just looked at her, and I think she was actually kinda scared!

Dude, that's freaky. My dad's passive agressive, does that 'indifference act' and it does scare the heck out of me.

Usually, I definitely get sad first. Mad comes a split second later but, depending on the person (and their authority), I usually keep it in until i find a better time to let out my steam. It's not always good for the people I hang around when I rant but hey, misery loves company.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It depends on the gravity of the situation for me.

If it is something extreme, I will be sad first because I'm not expecting the shock/surprise. However, after thinking about the problem over time, I get mad if I realize I did nothing wrong. That's when I'll go back to the person and retaliate.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Usually, when stuff like this happens to me I tend to become sad first off. No, I don't end up crying or obsessing over it (unless it's something REALLY major) but I do end up thinking about it during moments of introspection and angst.

However, most of the time I end up turning said sadness into some sort of anger. Which I sometimes proceed to express in various ways to people that usually don't have any connection to the shit that made me angry in the first place. I don't go and yell at people for no reason though. Usually I just talk about the in slightly more animated and emotional (the emotion being anger/rage) ways than usual. That's if I decide to talk about it -- usually when it comes to this stuff I don't.

I vary rarely end up confronting the person that "hurt" me when I'm mad/sad.. I try and keep a clear, "sober" mind when I do confront/talk to said person. At least, most of the time. I very rarely fight fire with fire these days.

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Sad most of the time, I guess, to a certain extent. Then I remember there's probably nothing more important in life than happiness, and feeling the exact opposite is simply foolish.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Actually it was more about the people that you care about. Not a perfect stranger, or even a boss.

If the woman you loved yelled at you, would your initial response be anger or sadness.

Its a different scenario when its about someone YOU care about.

This thread isn't in 'angst' so I'm not going to go too much in details but I'm in a situation like that. My friend is hurting me and it's making me really sad.
My mind is starting to tell me that she's doing it intentionally so my sadness is turning to anger. I'm so angry that I can say that I'm starting to hate her but I still care about her so much. I guess I'm tired of crying inside and my new approach is anger over sadness.

FELIPE NO

I usually feel disappointment or disgust for the aggressor, but if they hit me hard (figuratively or literally), I get angry, but I force my psyche to turn it in to saddness. Anger tends to blind, and I can stay focused and compose myself easier through saddness.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It depends on how justified the person is. If their reasons for yelling at me are absolutely ridiculous, then I usually either get irritated or really angry. I don't get mad very often, but when I do, it's a scary sight. I'm not very good at holding back my anger, but then again, I rarely have to.

On the other hand, if I deserved it, I'm probably not going to get mad. Maybe sad.

I'd say that most of my reactions fall into the irritation category, mostly because half of what is being said to me is just plain stupid.

"It's your fault! You know (insert an-arbitrary-fact-out-of-a-million-others here)! You're a failure!" I could seriously get blamed for a tree blowing away because I didn't nail it down.

I'm generally a rather happy person though.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I get sad and suck it up like a sponge and then I think that I must have done some little thing wrong and keep thinking about it. Then I get mad behind the person's back just cursing to myself about how dumb the other person is. It gets really hard to let go of it until a week later which sucks for me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.