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[Movie] [Your] Top Ten Worst Movies of 2007
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Old Dec 21, 2007, 11:50 AM Local time: Dec 21, 2007, 09:50 AM #1 of 16
[Your] Top Ten Worst Movies of 2007

So, I was watching WAR last night and boy what a steaming pile of shit that was. Jet Li should never talk, ever. He sounds like he's got down syndrome every time he speaks. When the whole premise of the movie is set around you thinking he's dangerous... well, it's just a joke.

What are your top 10 worst movies of 2007 (Wide release films only) and more importantly, WHY?

(To make things easier on all of us, the list doesn't have to be in respective order from bad to worst, any random order is fine as long as there's TEN of them. {Or at least as many as you feel like posting.})



10) The Number 23 - Man, this movie was baaaaaaaaad. I thought it was going to be some sort of psychological thriller or something and it ended up being one of the biggest piece of shit movies ever much less 2007. The acting was awful the plot was unnecessarily confusing and the "twist" at the end was a fucking joke. This movie was bbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaadddddd.

9) Pathfinder - Indians v.s. Vikings?! Holy shit that sounds amazing right? WRONG. DEAD FUCKING WRONG. The first 4 hours of this movie are a bunch of pow wow indians you don't care about getting owned by GWAR and then the other 3 hours is some bullshit about a viking separated at birth from his clan who magically still learns all the viking techniques despite him having no contact with them, ever. Great.

8) Spiderman 3 - I'm not even going to bother to link you to this movie because it's inevitable that you've heard of this big screen failure and I'm afraid that if I even try looking it up I'll end up punching my computer screen and get fired. The rest of the Spiderman films weren't great but they weren't this bad either. Holy shit was this movie bad. It was cheesy and "bad spiderman" was a douchebag. I hope venom beats his ass in the next movie. Yeah, I'll be there to see it. Drunk off my ass.

7) Bratz - Just... just... I'll finish up this list later. My blood pressure being this high probably isn't healthy.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
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Old Dec 21, 2007, 12:18 PM #2 of 16
I'm sure a few entries on my list will piss a few people off, but oh well. I don't see alot of bad movies, so here are the top 10 worst just in terms of score and rank on my 2007 list (copypasta'd from facebook):

10. Into The Wild (7.5/10)
I can appreciate why it's such a moving picture, but it didn't move me for this primary reason - They made the audience feel bad for the parents, one of the catalysts for Chris' sudden life upheaval.

The whole story is essentially about this one kid turning his life around, and bringing happiness wherever he goes. How am I supposed to connect with this kid when he brings sorrow onto his parents? Sure, they wronged him, but they're his PARENTS. And it's not like they beat the shit out of him or anything. They loved him, they just didn't know how to be parents.

Other than that, this movie is extremely well-made. I hope it gets a nod for best cinematography, because it's absolutely breathtaking. The photography shifts from beautiful, sharp, and vividly colorful wilderness landscapes where Chris feels happy, to muted, desaturated, and otherwise flat tones of the society that Chris is abandoning. It's really well-handled in a subtle but striking way.

Performances were top notch from everybody. Even Vince Vaughn, who I dislike, was awesome in this. Eddie Vedder handles the music brilliantly as well, which was a nice surprise being a Pearl Jam fan and all.

So overall, I liked it alot, and appreciated that it was well-made and moving, but I personally couldn't draw sympathy from the experience as a whole. There are some incredibly touching segments throughout, but the thing with the parents really hurt it for me.

9. The Darjeeling Limited (7.5/10)
Not bad, but not nearly as good as his previous work. Didn't really feel for any of the characters the way I've felt for Max Fischer, Royal Tenenbaum, or Steve Zissou. There was some real funny stuff, but overall it lacked the emotional gut-punch that Anderson is known for. It has a strong emotional center, and some pretty serious stuff at the end, but the lack of truly great characters makes it less impactful.

Like most of his movies, Darjeeling is incredible to look at. Probably his most visually appealing movie to date. As always, the soundtrack is equally incredible and lends itself to the narrative quite a bit.

Overall I was disappointed, but it was still a great flick.

8. Ghost Rider (7/10)
If you go into Ghost Rider expecting anything other than Ghost Riding, then you'll be sorely disappointed. He's a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle! I had fun!

7. I Am Legend (6.5/10)
Actually not as terrible as I thought it was going to be, in the sense that I was able to sit through it without groaning or rolling my eyes.

Production values are through the roof. You can tell they spent a good deal of their money on making New York a desolate wasteland, and it looks flawless. I didn't bat an eye even once at the CG work on New York.

However, the same cannot be said for the dreadful CG vampires, or as my friend Rory calls them, Grandpires. They look like a bunch of fucking old men, and they take all the scariness out of the bleak and creepy atmosphere.

While we're on the topic of the vampires, or "dark seekers," their entire existence is somewhat of a unexplained mystery. The virus kills like 99% of the population, but this small bunch of people became rage-infected zombies? Please. This worked better in 28 Days Later.

Structurally, the movie is extremely weird. Nothing really happens in the first 2/3 of the film, but that's the best part of the movie. The last third of the movie felt kinda disjointed, and I almost feel like plot point 2 should have been plot point 1, or just not happened at all. It's weird, it just felt like a completely different movie at that point.

Will Smith, who I am normally not a fan of, did a great job in this film, and he carried the role well. Other than that, the movie really didn't do much for me. It didn't move me much, or impact me. Decent movie, neutral experience.

6. Spider-Man 3 (6.5/10)
Craptastic. I didn't think it would be possible to botch a villian as cool as Venom, but they did it. *sigh*

5. Halloween (5/10)
Not the absolute piece of shit people hyped it up to be, but extremely disappointing given how truly great the first part of the movie is. What sucks is that the second part is so shitty that it then completely ruins and contradicts the first part.

I'll give Zombie credit - He managed to give a faceless killer a face, the problem is, he took the face away right as it was getting good, and truly freaky. There was a wealth of potential for this movie to be a real great and original re-envisioning of the classic original, but it is bastardized as soon as Michael escapes from the asylum.

What made Michael so scary in the original is that he was just this huge bastard going around killing people for no reason. The problem with this remake is just that - He still has no motive, but it's less scary because we're led to think he SHOULD have a motive. The first part is excellent because he does have a reason to kill his family when he's a kid, but he doesn't have a reason to do any more killing after that. He needed more development, and I can't fathom why Zombie didn't see that.

Overall, great performances (young Michael was fantastic), great first half, above-average writing, and then shitty, movie-ruining second half.

4. The Mist (3.5/10)
Wow, I truly did not like this movie.

Where do I begin... Well, I think my distaste for this movie stemmed from one singular moment, and that was when we first see one of the monsters. I instantly lost interest for a variety of reasons. One, because it looked stupid and un-scary. Two, because the CG was terrible. Three, because the characters showed just how braindead they were and would continue to be throughout the rest of the film. Our characters showed a staggering amount of stupidity in this movie on numerous occasions, and thus, brought me level of caring down to absolute zero.

The CG was grossly overused. It's a horror movie, LESS IS ALWAYS MORE. This is a shining example of that principle being tossed out the window. ESPECIALLY when your CG looks this hackneyed, the last thing you want to do is glorify and it show it for too long. For a movie whose central plot essentially revolves around fear of the unknown, it certainly did a great job of making the unknown more known. It unfortunately didn't pay off, since every bit of CG in the film looked stupid, and thus, gave me something to laugh at instead of something to fear.

Not one character was empathetic. I didn't care for any of them, or their fates. They showed how stupid they were early on and their stupidity kept right on going to the bitter end. The twist ending, while decently cool, was ruined for me because of, once again, blatant stupidity on the characters' part. The movie felt like a bunch of idiots getting what they deserved.

EDIT: I totally forgot to bitch about this part. Worst of all beyond all of this nonsense I've already discussed, the main source of conflict, Mrs. Carmody, was an absolute joke. From her first words on screen, you just want her to shut the fuck up. She's incredibly hatable (as she should be), but she's hatable to the point where she's just a walking parody. Religious lunacy turned up to 11. We get the point that she's a nut the first time she speaks, but the filmmakers decide to keep her mouth running about the same crap over and over and over again. It's relentless and annoying. It's just shit.

On top of these issues, I really hated how it was shot and edited. Cinematographically, it was a weird style of handheld plus some weird zooming that felt like pan and scan. It took me out of the movie instead of engaging me. Editing wise, again, the CG was on screen way too long, and some shots held for too long in general. Mrs. Carmody was on screen for way too long at many points. The editing was spotty at best, and the movie as a whole could have been a half hour shorter.

What did I like about it? There was some good gore, some light moments of humor, and... Well, I guess that's it. If seeing a bunch of idiots argue over the same topic over and over again for 2 hours is your cup of tea, go see this movie. If you like good movies, avoid it.

3. Across The Universe (3.5/10)
Ugh. I wanted to like this movie so much. I really did. It's such a cool concept, and the trailer showed off some real cool visuals and gave me hope for a stellar Beatles-themed movie. What it was, however, was a meandering mess of a movie that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of putting a shitload of great Beatles songs into one movie, regardless of how well said movie would hold together.

Story? Don't bother. Characters? Not important. Conflict and resolution? Arbitrary.

I'll be the first to admit that the visuals were mostly stunning. Some of the scenes (bowling scene, Prudence's intro, Max's recruitment) were spellbinding. They were executed with military precision, and were a blast to watch, especially with the cool songs playing over them.

But that's where the fun stopped. There was so much filler. So much useless crap. So much illogical garbage that I stopped to question logic numerous times. GRANTED, logical narrative is not the point of the film, but the point for me is, I was taken out of the film more than I was into it, and that's the one thing a director should always try to avoid. I was totally sucked into the parts that were the least serious, while the parts that tried to be serious I couldn't have cared less about.

While I like the Beatles, I'm not a diehard fan. Because of that, the movie felt like an enormous inside joke that I wasn't a part of, and instead of welcoming me into it's inner circle, it rejected me and said "figure this out on your own, fag." This movie essentially called me a fag throughout it's unbearably long runtime. I haven't cared so little about a movie in a long time. What a bummer. I really wanted to like this.

2. 300 (3/10)
It's like everything was pulled from a stock CD full of Hollywood clichés. Horrifically stale characters, relationships, and plotlines. 300 is a throwaway "epic" that relies on violence, manliness, and gimmicks to impress the dull-minded masses.

1. Transformers (1/10)
Piece of shit in every way except for the awesome CG. Takes the foundation of filmmaking (the screenplay) and throws it away in favor of CG, action, and pushing merchandise. An absolute train wreck.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
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Old Dec 21, 2007, 12:54 PM Local time: Dec 21, 2007, 11:54 AM #3 of 16
Darjeeling made your list? Oh you can go to hell. Not as good as Tenenbaums, no, but a list of top 10 worst releases? Jesus Christ, Sprout.

10 - Golden Compass - The Church groups got all uppity, the literary geeks got all uppity, and in the end, I got uppity and left the theatre, because my GOD. I don't know how you make me hate a movie with Daniel Craig AND Sam Elliot AND Ian McKellen AND Ian McShane etc... but man, did they ever find a way to do it. Murdered their subject material, murdered their filmmaking, and made everything just so bland and idiotic. Pullman was never a brilliant author, but this movie wasn't even middling.

9 - Live Free or Die Hard - Ugh. Just... awful. Hack the internets, indeed. Not even Bruce Willis could save this for me, man. Just trite, trite, trite.

8 - Spider-Man 3 - Ok, yes, this makes my list because it sucked. But not for the reasons a lot of people list. Strutting with emo hair? Brilliant. How good is the pie? Brilliant. EMO HAIR BAD SPIDEY? Brilliant. What the fuck Sandman? Why is this guy from Wings supposed to be tugging on my heartstrings? Shut up and get to Venom. Half this movie is like a Sam Raimi picture, and as such, I love it. Weird, quirky, doesn't take itself too seriously... the other half is all maudlin and stupid and shouldn't exist.

7 - Ghost Rider - Why isn't this lower? Because it's Ghost Rider. What did we expect, Shakespeare?

6 - The Number 23 - Good god. "My whole life revolves around the number 23." Well here's a number for you, sport. 32. Approximately how many minutes I lasted before bursting out laughing repeatedly. Just absolutely atrocious.

5 - Transformers - I'm sorry, but you can all go to hell on this one. It was atrocious. It was beyond atrocious, it's one of the worst films I've seen in my entire life. I don't know how any of you can like this pile of crap. All production values and no actual content.

4 - Across the Universe - Yeah, hey. That's a pretty musical you did there. Where's the story? Oh you don't have one? Get the fuck back to the Lion King, you stunned cunt.

3 - Pirates of the Caribbean 3: Uncharted Waters ...ok, I get it you saw Twin Peaks. Did I really need that godawful scene with Jack in limbo/hell/whatever? It's gone down hill every sequel, and the drop from 2 to 3 is staggering. 2 wasn't even that good, but where's the narrative? How do you abandon the plot of the Calysto and Davy Jones? How do you manage to fuck up everything but Geoffrey Rush being a god?

2 - Hitman - Why you gotta do that to someone after Deadwood? Please, please, please just go make more Deadwood.

1 - Beowulf - Neil Gaiman, you so crazy. This movie was just PAINFUL. Like seriously, what were they thinking? It's awful, the eyes on the CG are dead, there's no narrative, the characters are flat... there's just no upside here.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.


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Old Dec 21, 2007, 01:05 PM #4 of 16
Deni Deni Deni...

Originally Posted by sprouticus
I'm sure a few entries on my list will piss a few people off, but oh well. I don't see alot of bad movies, so here are the top 10 worst just in terms of score and rank on my 2007 list
I didn't flat-out hate Darjeeling, it just didn't impress me as much as his other ones, and in general I didn't find it to be as full an experience as other movies. It probably would have been bumped out of the list if I had caved in and wasted money on movies I anticipated to be shitty like Beowulf.

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Old Dec 21, 2007, 09:31 PM Local time: Dec 21, 2007, 08:31 PM #5 of 16
10. Captivity - Plot? Characters? Who needs 'em? TITS N' BLOOD.

9. Epic Movie - People getting hit in the balls for eighty minutes might sound good on paper but... oh wait, no it doesn't.

8. The Number 23 - The worst thing about this film is how many people I've met that thought it was really deep.

7. Blades of Glory - I think we've all realized by this point that Jon Heder can only do one character. HEY, NAPOLEON IS A GHOST IN THIS MOVIE. HAHA, NOW HE'S SKATING! WACKY.

6. Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix - The only thing I remember about this film was walking out of the theater thinking "Well, that was a complete waste of three hours of my life". This is, more than any other film this year I think, a prime example of over reliance on CG.

5. TMNT - I actually turned this off halfway through, so maybe it magically redeemed itself and I just missed, but I'm guessing it just got worse.

4. Norbit - Do I really need to explain this?

3. Smokin' Aces - An ensemble comedy with no ensemble. Just awful.

2. I Am Legend - This movie made me :facepalm: the entire time I was watching it. "I have a high powered rifle with a scope, but I will hunt deer by DRIVING AT THEM IN MY BRAND NEW FORD SHELBY COBRA GT500 THAT WILL NOT APPEAR FOR THE REST OF THE FILM. At least you could go into Transformers expecting it to be two hours of explosions and product placement, but this was 45 minutes of product placements and an hour of closeups of Will Smith talking nonsensically about Bob Marley. What utter shit.

1. Across The Universe - This shouldn't even exist. I cannot seriously criticize it because I see no redeeming qualities in it whatsoever.

I was speaking idiomatically.
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Old Dec 22, 2007, 04:51 PM #6 of 16
In no particular order:

Transformers
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Redacted
300
American Gangster
Rendition
In The Valley of Elah
Sunshine
Elizabeth: The Golden Age

No, that's not true. I would rather endure 300 and Transformers than to be subjected to any of their compatriots on this dismal index of movies that will be buried beneath greater, hidden treasures currently ignored, in years to come. Why Rendition and not Norbit, or why American Gangster and not National Treasure? For starters, I have not seen either of the latter in the pairing, which is entirely the reasoning: I do not have to see a Brian Robbins vehicle to know it will suck, or another Scary Movie clone (why? in case it may find its way onto my positive year end list?). Denicalis' Ghost Rider reasoning nails shut the coffins on the rest of the faux oscar baits, and why they are worse than the relatively harmless chafe most people see.

To inject some positive into this thread/post: Do see Charles' Burnett's Killer of Sheep, filmed in '77 but incomplete until this year; The Coens' No Country for Old Men, whose bold framing and spiritiual crisis tear apart the 3 entries above fit for The Iraq War Hall of Shame; another one of Herzog's personal but best since his glorious 70s german movies, Rescue Dawn; Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited, one I'm still trying to wrap my head around but may be his most clear-eyed of his filmography; Sarah Polley's Debut, Away from Her, which will earn Julie Christie an oscar (she or Marion Cotillard; bookmark this page, you read it here first); and Satoshi Kon's engrossing Paprika, where he ventures into David Lynch territory.

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Old Dec 22, 2007, 07:46 PM #7 of 16
I'm gonna list seven, because honestly I didn't see many movies this year. I didn't even hate them all, but they certainly weren't masterpieces.

Ghostrider
Well, it met my modest expectations. Not as bad as, say, Daredevil, but not stupendous. Blackheart was in it, and he's cool, but he also wasn't nine feet tall with dreadlocks throwing dead people. It could have been better is all I'm saying.

Epic Movie
I caught this on HBO, so at least I didn't waste any money; definitely not worth a full admission. Flat jokes and virtually no production value. If it were straight-to-video I could give it some leeway, but it really didn't cut it as a feature. Any one of the scenes could have worked as a decent MadTV or SNL sketch.

Spider-Man 3
This is what happens when the wants of the studio conflict with the wants of the director. To hear Raimi tell it, he didn't want Venom at all, but he was a ticket-draw and had to squeeze him in mid-way through production. It could have been a lot worse, but we certainly didn't get the original vision. Kinda uneventful, too - aside form introducing a villain we may never see again.

Transformers
You've got Transformers on the poster, Transformers on the box, and Transformers in the title. So what's the movie about? Kid trying to get some while a robot war rages in the background.

300
Pure visceral action and post effects, with a story hidden somewhere under lots and lots of dead Persians.

I Am Legend
My big beef was completely changing the meaning of the title from the book. I didn't *hate* it, though: the sets were great and Will Smith's monologues were great as long as they fit the scene. If the script were more polished, I would have legitimately liked it.

Across The Universe
It's a music film about an era of music I really respect, but it just comes off as a lot of fluff. Eddie Izzard did a good job, but there was virtually no direction from start to finish. I agree with Sprout, the effects were gorgeous, but it was only a momentary pleasure to what should have been a trippy musical journey throughout.

Quote:
To inject some positive into this thread/post: Do see Charles' Burnett's Killer of Sheep, filmed in '77 but incomplete until this year; The Coens' No Country for Old Men, whose bold framing and spiritiual crisis tear apart the 3 entries above fit for The Iraq War Hall of Shame; another one of Herzog's personal but best since his glorious 70s german movies, Rescue Dawn; Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited, one I'm still trying to wrap my head around but may be his most clear-eyed of his filmography; Sarah Polley's Debut, Away from Her, which will earn Julie Christie an oscar (she or Marion Cotillard; bookmark this page, you read it here first); and Satoshi Kon's engrossing Paprika, where he ventures into David Lynch territory.
I plan on seeing No Country soon, it looks fantastic. I'm a fan of the Coen Brothers and thought this one fit the bill nicely. I can also attest that Paprika was a good film. I haven't always been a fan of Kon's, I had always grouped him under the "weird for the sake of weird" category, but I enjoyed this one.

FELIPE NO

Last edited by Nall; Dec 22, 2007 at 07:51 PM.
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Old Dec 22, 2007, 10:21 PM Local time: Dec 23, 2007, 03:21 AM #8 of 16
Movie bashing time lets go

10: Pirates of the Caribbean 3

Everything about this was just plain weird, it was like they were trying too hard to make the finale an epic one, while also avoiding a stereotypical Disney/Hollywood ending like the plague (not that I'm saying sad endings are bad mind you). It has a very different tone to the first two movies, in fact I could practically count the memorable bits on one hand. I honestly felt like I was watching lord of the rings with boats in places the tone was that much more serious, in it's desperation for epic battles and the finale, much of the character of the previous movies was lost along the way.

9: Rush Hour 3

Just disappointing period, I wanted to enjoy this since they're supposed to be no brainer comedy action movies, but the only things that kept me even awake was the car chase, dojo scene and epic as always outtakes. Frankly when the outtakes are better then most of the movie you're doing something very wrong...

8: Shrek 3

Cash cow ahoy! Few things piss me off more in the media then when something is used to death, but despite that people still have an attitude with the franchise like "it's funny because it's Shrek lolz" Is Shrek 3 funny adding a kid with Justin 'wtf is he doing here besides a publicity stunt' Timberlakes voice? Is Shrek 3 funny in reusing old gags like they probably plan to in every movie that follows this one? Is Shrek 3 funny in wasting the talents of not one but two members of Monty Python? Funny to laugh at not with is the answer you're looking for.

Shrek is supposed to be family movies with jokes that will completely go over kids heads, while still keeping everyone entertained, this tripe was to put it kindly for mindless fans and kids only.

7: Ghost Rider

Nicolas Cage apparently loved the comics and had a big part in it's production, so yeah... an actor playing the role of one of this childhood heros, that's pretty much on to a production of fail before you even see the movie.

6. Spider-Man 3

This gets extra fail points because I went to see it on my birthday, this trio of films had an emo undertone to them from the start that pissed me off that has been added purely for the movies. The only time Spidey ever turned emo to my knowledge prior to any of this trilogy was when he was at his lowest which is understandable, but this movie was just off the scales!

As for the dance scene, sure a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously can be a good thing, but not when it swings bipolar style from one extreme to the other like this movie does. Ignoring the lol wtf moments, the only part remotely worth seeing was the short lived Venom finale. Anyone who loved this movie is either a deluded Spidey fan and/or a fan of one the actors.

5. Epic Movie

Aka "Because we can't get away with doing any more scary movie films" jesus christ the last thing we need is another movie of pop culture jokes. Save that shit for TV or internet virals, then I won't have to share the same room with hooting, wooting dickholes with attentions spans of ADHD 10 year olds that they aim those kind of movies for ever again.

4: Farce of the Penguins

Think of the directors of scary movie having a mad drunken party with Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Throw in any other directors with those kind of production values and you're pretty much there in terms of the script. Talking animal films are a hard sale to begin with these days, but a whole film trying to poke fun at a animal documentary is just something not even movie worthy.

3: Norbit

For the love of god and all that is holy... no more black comedian also plays fat character(s) movies! There's only so many times you can do "lol fat people are fun to laugh at" jokes before it's not just the fat people who want you to stfu.

2. Transmorphers

My god I can't even believe this movie exists, it's as if they were banking on peoples stupidity to watch/rent/buy this movie instead of Transformers. While I'm on the subject, what were you guys expecting from that movie? Epic robot/human character development or something? It's by fanboys for fanboys, you expecting it to not be mostly cgi sequences is like going to a musical and bitching about it having singing, it was inevitable. I would rather talk about that then this movie that's how bad it is, if you thought Transformers was bad I dare you to sit through this.

1: Bratz: The Movie

Normally I don't add movies I haven't watched, but I don't even have to see more then the trailers to know it deserves to be here that's how bad it is. Kid's movie or not it's a movie about a girls doll toy line that endorses girls to become clueless wannabe diva sheep... that's a epic rolemodel if I ever saw one.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Last edited by S_K; Dec 22, 2007 at 10:31 PM.
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Old Dec 22, 2007, 11:28 PM Local time: Dec 22, 2007, 09:28 PM 1 #9 of 16
Grandma's Boy - A movie about pothead video game testers? Brilliant! Sorry but I really don't like a whole lot of cum and dick jokes without some semblance of a story.

Beerfest - Another trashy comedy movie with poor CG elements.

She's the Man - Based off of Twelfth Night. I bet Shakespeare is rolling in his grave, again. Typical teen comedy with no redeeming qualities. If Amanda Bynes showed her tits, I would have liked that.

Sydney White - A retelling of Snow White meets Revenge of the Nerds? I don't see how this can lose. Oh yeah, it's a teen flick again and no titties to make up for it.

Spider Man 3 - Too much going on at once with not enough character development. And Mary Jane is a grade A bitch.

Fantastic Four (both of them) - Poor acting and CG (except for the Silver Surfer) and deviates from the comic too much, despite me not reading them ever. Jessica Alba does not look good as a blonde either.

Phat Girlz - My girlfriend and I walked out on this and it was her choice. I would never have had gone in the first place.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
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Old Dec 23, 2007, 12:04 AM Local time: Dec 22, 2007, 11:04 PM #10 of 16
Beerfest - Another trashy comedy movie with poor CG elements.
Beerfest would make my top 10, easy. That was a great comedy film. What do you mean by "poor CG elements"?

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Old Dec 23, 2007, 12:15 AM Local time: Dec 22, 2007, 09:15 PM #11 of 16
Not to mention it was released in 2006.

As were She's the Man, Grandma's Boy, and Phat Girlz.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
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Old Dec 23, 2007, 12:21 AM #12 of 16
Quote:
you expecting it to not be mostly cgi sequences is like going to a musical and bitching about it having singing, it was inevitable.
Doesn't mean the movie has to suck ass. What kind of movie-watching society are we when we can excuse a film for being a piece of shit and still throw our hard-earned money at it? Fuck that noise. That movie was an abomination on all accounts.

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Old Dec 23, 2007, 10:01 AM Local time: Dec 23, 2007, 09:01 AM #13 of 16
In no particular order:

Transformers
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Redacted
300
American Gangster
Rendition
In The Valley of Elah
Sunshine
Elizabeth: The Golden Age

No, that's not true. I would rather endure 300 and Transformers than to be subjected to any of their compatriots on this dismal index of movies that will be buried beneath greater, hidden treasures currently ignored, in years to come. Why Rendition and not Norbit, or why American Gangster and not National Treasure? For starters, I have not seen either of the latter in the pairing, which is entirely the reasoning: I do not have to see a Brian Robbins vehicle to know it will suck, or another Scary Movie clone (why? in case it may find its way onto my positive year end list?). Denicalis' Ghost Rider reasoning nails shut the coffins on the rest of the faux oscar baits, and why they are worse than the relatively harmless chafe most people see.

To inject some positive into this thread/post: Do see Charles' Burnett's Killer of Sheep, filmed in '77 but incomplete until this year; The Coens' No Country for Old Men, whose bold framing and spiritiual crisis tear apart the 3 entries above fit for The Iraq War Hall of Shame; another one of Herzog's personal but best since his glorious 70s german movies, Rescue Dawn; Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited, one I'm still trying to wrap my head around but may be his most clear-eyed of his filmography; Sarah Polley's Debut, Away from Her, which will earn Julie Christie an oscar (she or Marion Cotillard; bookmark this page, you read it here first); and Satoshi Kon's engrossing Paprika, where he ventures into David Lynch territory.
\

I agree with all of your positives, to begin with, secondly, I am so glad I avoided Elizabeth. It turned out exactly how I told everyone it would turn out. Just fucking awful.

I was speaking idiomatically.


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Old Dec 23, 2007, 11:26 AM #14 of 16
I don't know how anyone could think a sequel to Elizabeth would be anything more than a pile of excrement.

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Old Dec 23, 2007, 11:36 AM Local time: Dec 23, 2007, 10:36 AM #15 of 16
I didn't loathe the first one, because the dude clearly lacked the funding to do all the horrible, horrible camera bullshit he did in the second one. You took the man off his leash and he went crazy. Best review I heard of it just said: "Someone buy this man a fucking steady cam."

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Old Dec 23, 2007, 02:13 PM Local time: Dec 23, 2007, 09:13 PM #16 of 16
Sarah Polley's Debut, Away from Her, which will earn Julie Christie an oscar (she or Marion Cotillard; bookmark this page, you read it here first)
I sure hope not. Judi Dench did practically the same role much better in Iris (2001) and she didn't win (Halle Berry flashed her tits in Monster's Ball in order to get the statue that year). Anyway, watched Away with Her, didn't feel a thing. =/ Not a bad movie at all, and in fact, the guy playing Julie Christie's character's husband did a *much* better job.

The ten "worst" films I've seen this year thus far:

10. Michael Clayton
9. Live Free or Die Hard
8. Spider-man 3
7. Zodiac
6. I am Legend
5. Away from Her
4. Shoot 'Em Up
---
3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2. The Simpsons Movie
1. Transformers

The ones above the cutline are on the positive side, though, and aren't bad movies at all. But still, ten of the "worst" is what the OP asked for. Transformers and Simpsons I watched in theater at the same day and what a horrible day that was. (Also, I won't be editing this post in the future, so the real shitlist will most probably change very soon and won't be concurrent with this one.)

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Last edited by Put Balls; Dec 23, 2007 at 02:16 PM.
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