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Your most memorable FAILURE at cooking (v.2)
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Blanka
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Old Mar 7, 2006, 12:32 AM Local time: Mar 7, 2006, 01:32 AM #26 of 96
Most likely mine was cooking too much rice in too little water. Not good. I had a heck of a time cleaning that stupid pot.

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Angel
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Old Mar 12, 2006, 06:46 AM Local time: Mar 12, 2006, 01:46 PM #27 of 96
I can cook about everything you can imagine... the weird thing is I can't boil an egg :/ Last time I tried I just threw them in the boiling water and they just started to break up, making a horrible mess... So, now I just put them in an eggboiler... easier.

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EmpyreanHorizon
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Old Mar 12, 2006, 10:13 AM Local time: Mar 12, 2006, 11:13 PM #28 of 96
I think the worse meal I've ever seen made was by my zoology classmates when we went for term trip. When we got to our destination, they went to dutyfree where they bought the the stuff needed for our dinner. They attempted to cook steak, but they forgot to buy oil, so they used butter; forgot to buy salt, so they used msg (gives me nasty headache); forgot to bring a rice cooker so they used a ugly, overused pot; and finally, told themselves they had lots of experience cooking and ended up eating soupy overcooked steak with undercooked rice and bowls of tasteless soupy-snacks. That left a nasty memory of our sixty-year-old professor making smacking noises while he nibbled on pieces of cow meat with his incisors.

Me, I make dinner rolls that taste like beer. Don't know why but it just ends up that way.

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Sakabadger
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Old Mar 12, 2006, 10:45 AM Local time: Mar 12, 2006, 08:45 AM #29 of 96
I don't really cook all that often, so my cooking disasters are pretty limited, and fairly tame.

One time I was trying to make some fried rice, you know, to help out. So I made the rice and put it in the pan, then put some eggs I beat over it. Bad idea, of course... the thing barely cooked since the eggs were coating the rice, and it was all some weird sticky yellow consistency. Not too tasty. Oh well!

I was speaking idiomatically.
CrimsonSerenade
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Old Mar 15, 2006, 05:09 AM Local time: Mar 15, 2006, 02:09 AM #30 of 96
As an aspiring chef myself, I've had about more accidents and failures at cooking than I can count. My most memorable one would probably have to be the time I was making these muffins from scratch, and I can't exactly remember what I did wrong, but I ended up having to clean out the entire oven, because the muffins literally exploded in the oven.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
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Conan-the-3rd
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Old Mar 16, 2006, 04:36 PM Local time: Mar 16, 2006, 10:36 PM #31 of 96
I once charred a cake and the bowl it was in by cookign it in the microwave

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xuemin
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Old Mar 16, 2006, 05:43 PM Local time: Mar 16, 2006, 10:43 PM #32 of 96
i've never had any culinary accidents, just mistakes here and there, most recent one was when i forgot to stir the congee i was making last week and ended up with about an inch of burnt rice and goo on the bottom of the pan.

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LostSol
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Old Mar 25, 2006, 10:46 PM Local time: Mar 25, 2006, 08:46 PM #33 of 96
There were many times where I failed at cooking but my most favorite one has to be when I accidently grabbed my cat and shaked him a couple of times, putting all his hair into the food. Make things worst is that I had no time to change the dish I was creating which was my specialty: bell peppers and beef, so I had to serve the cat-filled hair food to my family and got them very sick. My sister actually had to go to the hospital to get the cat hair out of her because she is sort of allergic to it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Lady Miyomi
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Old Mar 26, 2006, 12:16 AM #34 of 96
Salmon is not supposed to be CRISPY when its baked in the oven. This resulted in me paying more attention to whatever anime I was watching at the time versus actually watching the clock.

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Inhert
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Old Apr 2, 2006, 11:52 AM #35 of 96
little introduction: everytime I go to a friends house, her mom always make me taste something, she's a very good cook! and one time she made me some wonderful raspberry jam, now almost everytime I go there, she give me some toast with raspberry jam XD so one day she gave me the recipe to do it.

and herte we go just now an hour ago I finaly decide to make some, the recipe is so simple what could go wrong?

1 bag of 600g of raspberry
1 cup of sugar

wait till it's all liquid and start boiling, after it start boiling, let simmer(?) for about 20min

everything is fine, I taste it now and than. OMG it was so good.

now the 20min is finish I start to pour it into "jam pot" and, omg! the raspberries burn at the bottom of the cauldron!! >.<

I still didn't taste my jam to see if I will "taste" the burn raspberries ; ; but the chauldron is now a total lost and is now in the garbage >.> I'm not sure if i'll do this again, or if so, I'll be sure to look every 5sec if it's not burning...

edit: oh yes! my jam is good! I first I think it was tasting a little of the burn, but after mixing it a little, it taste really good ^^

well the only advice i can give for anyone that want to make jam for the first time, just take a chauldron that you don't care to lose >.> (if you burn them like I did XD)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Last edited by Inhert; Apr 2, 2006 at 12:28 PM.
solid_snake
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Old Apr 2, 2006, 01:05 PM #36 of 96
I only cooked 1 thing in my life and thats a 'chapati'. its cooked wheat and flour, an indian dish. i tried to cook an egg but it was a disaster. I was really in trouble. I had accidently added spinach instead of green chillies and it all burned up when i fried it.:borg:

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alaekiefer
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Old Apr 7, 2006, 07:46 AM Local time: Apr 7, 2006, 08:46 PM #37 of 96
I've once concocted vilest substance known to man.

I cook vegetables my way; with vegetable spices, bak choy, some carrots, some onions, a bit of garlic, celery and a bit of water for gravy. I usually eat this with rice, and it tastes pretty good especially with fried chicken.

On many occasions I use sweet soy sauce to add flavour to the vegetable cooking. Usually it helps with the flavour, and the resulting cuisine turns out to be pretty nice.

On one occasion however, I was down with a cold. There wasn't anyone around to cook, so I myself had to cook. I couldn't really concentrate with what I was cooking though.

It happened that I had placed two bottles of sweet soy sauce and salty soy sauce on the table next to the stove. Without my knowing, because they both looked similar save for the hardly-noticeable differently coloured bottle caps, I grabbed the bottle of salty soy sauce and poured it all over my cooking. The resulting vegetable turned out to be extremely painful/bitter.

I wasn't in a mood to complain though, so I dug the vegetable out of the frying pan and poured it onto a plate. I forced myself to swallow the vegetables with rice. I couldn't continue after the second bite. Thinking oh-so-geniusly that I might be able to repair my cooking if if I added sweet soy sauce to counter the saltiness and achieve equilibrium (heh, I couldn't think straight at the time), I cooked the damn veggies again.

I forced myself to swallow 5 bites of the resulting item. Then I threw the whole thing out and ate instant noodles.

I tell you, if any culinary apprentice or master was there with me, he would have rather stabbed his tongue with a scalding hot knife than eat another bite of my cooking.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Will
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Old Apr 7, 2006, 01:27 PM #38 of 96
When I started to cook here in my apartment, I tried to make spicy chicken. Basically, I marinated chicken in tabasco sauce. Yeah. Then I seasoned with curry powder, chili powder and black pepper. Finally I doused it with tabasco again. It was pretty spicy all right, but it was also pretty nasty. =/ It sure looked good though. XD

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
elwe
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Old Apr 8, 2006, 04:19 PM Local time: Apr 8, 2006, 04:19 PM #39 of 96
Luckily, I've never had anything chaotic happen to me.

I think my worst experience, though, was the first time I made flan. I followed the instructions on the recipe as well as I could, and I don't think I did anything horrible wrong, although I probably did. When it was done, the carmelized sugar on top of the flan did something rather strange. When I took the flans out, none of them had the sugar on top. When I looked at the bottom of the pan (which was more like one used for muffins), I found either liquidly puddles of carmelized sugar or hard chunks glued to the bottom of the pan. The flan itself turned our overly-eggy, and the texture was pretty strange.

FELIPE NO
Tama8-chan
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Old Apr 8, 2006, 10:57 PM Local time: Apr 9, 2006, 02:57 PM #40 of 96
i was baking some bread in the small oven.
i couldn't be bothered watching over it, so I went upstairs and went on the net.
after a while, the power cut off, and there was no electricity in the house.
wondering what the hell was going on, i went to go check the circut breakers, only to find that the whole of downstairs was in smoke.

the oven was on fire, and it had melted through the power cord and caused the short.

it was then that i realised that it had been 5 hours since i put the bread in the oven.
i had totally forgotten about it.

-------------------------------

here's another story, this time about my friend.

i brought fried rice to school about once a week, and it became a sort of tradition with my friends. they brought spoons with them to school to get some off me. lol.
one of my friends, Matt, asked me how you make fried rice.
I told him you get some rice, put it in a frying pan or wok, put in some diced meat and veggies, a couple of eggs, mix it together and voila! Fried rice!

He came back to me the next day, and told me that he made it exactly the way i told him to, but the rice was.....crunchy.

It took me a while to actually realise what he was on about - then it hit me.
I asked him:
"did you boil the rice?"
"no......"

i lolled.

How ya doing, buddy?
Lady Miyomi
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Old Apr 9, 2006, 12:01 AM #41 of 96
I almost burned up some Eggo waffles earlier. When I took them out of the oven, they were a bit more "crispy" and "brown" than I prefer. That's what I get for leaving them in there three minutes too long.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Dullenplain
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Old Apr 9, 2006, 12:44 AM Local time: Apr 8, 2006, 11:44 PM #42 of 96
Other than making messes which isn't a big deal, the worst I have done while cooking was attempting to fry a fish in a toaster oven because the pan I had wasn't big enough.

I ended up with a cooked fish encrusted with a soggy, greasy, blackened breading. Needless to say, I removed the breading before I ate the fish.

Another not-so-disastrous episode involved me baking brownies for a bake sale. I used round pans for baking them and this resulted in some rather inelegant looking brownies. I had to sell them as "irrational brownies for irrational minds".

I also have the talent to turn garlic bread into carbon.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

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Last edited by Dullenplain; Apr 9, 2006 at 12:47 AM.
Visibore
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Old Apr 12, 2006, 01:41 AM Local time: Apr 12, 2006, 12:41 AM #43 of 96
My friend and I tried to make donuts with my friend's dad's donut kit. Basically the "donuts" turned out to be stringy, burnt-fried crap. We tried adding some Strawberry Quick syrup, but that didn't help - so we went outside and burned the mess - with gasoline.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
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Old Apr 12, 2006, 02:58 AM Local time: Apr 12, 2006, 02:58 AM #44 of 96
I attempeted to make a Brautwurst and saurkraut with a dark sweet brazillion beer. I turned out feces brown and tasting like I'd dumped burned sugar into it.

I know it's not one of mine but one time my mother accidentally made a coconut curry goat cheese macaroon the size of a softball. Just think about how good that one would taste for a moment.

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Pill
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Old Apr 13, 2006, 12:08 AM Local time: Apr 12, 2006, 10:08 PM #45 of 96
AAAh... back in French class, I remember we had a food project for a chapter.

So I decided to make a lovely white chocolate cake for the first time. I had the recipe book, all you had to do was dump in some ingredients and bake it. How hard could it be? When buying the ingredients I skipped the wussy-cake-mix and came home confident I WILL bake that cake.

Everything was going fine I guess, until that glazing. Read the directions wrong, poured it the wrong way, and it was waaaay to liquidy. I dumped some on the cake. It dripped and wouldn't stay on, it wasn't thick enough. I tried to put some more and scrape it to the top of the cake. But no, the glazing dripped down into a puddly mess.

So I decided to add some honey to thicken it up. I think I dumped half the bottle in? Still not thick enough, more butter! Still not thick enough, some more honey! In the end, I ran out of honey and my small container of butter. It was still dripping and liquidy. AAAAAAAHHH, milk chocolate, make it thick! Nope, didn't work. I just dumped it over the cake and left it overnight.

Needless to say, the next day it was just a nasty brown way-too-sweet puddle of glazing in a cake-baking pan. No one touched it in French class and I dumped it.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Lythial
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Old Apr 14, 2006, 08:55 PM #46 of 96
I'm usually a pretty good cook but everyone makes mistakes XD

I was baking my first cheesecake and I decided to add strawberries to it since I had some....not a good idea unless you have add gelatin too. The cake was sooo liquidy that I was dripping out of the springform pan the whole time it baked. and even after baking for 2 hours *sooo over baked* it still wouldn't set. Eventually I gave up - took it out and stuck it in the fridge.

It was nasty since the cheese and strawberries had been overdone - it was like sweet mush...with a slightly sour aftertaste >.<

Needless to say it met mr.trashcan soon after.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Watashi_Baka_Da
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Old Apr 16, 2006, 01:46 PM Local time: Apr 16, 2006, 12:46 PM #47 of 96
Yesterday I made some little pancake thingys in the microwave, but I put them in there for 2 min...i was gonna come and get them sooner than that though.

I guess I forgot. The house got all smoked up.

FELIPE NO
Arienas
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 11:01 PM Local time: Apr 25, 2006, 10:01 PM #48 of 96
Someone had decided to leave a pack of wrapped popped tarts in the toaster over that morning. For dinner we had pizza, and I put the box down in front of the toaster over, flipping the power switch on. This caused the foil wrapper to catch on fire, then the oven started to flame up and it had to be thrown out the backdoor before the kitchen cabinets could catch of fire.

I can't warm solid chocolate into sauce. It's not a disaster exactly, but it just never works out.

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RacinReaver
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 11:58 PM Local time: Apr 25, 2006, 09:58 PM #49 of 96
Do you use a double boiler to melt the chocolate?

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Aoie_Emesai
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Old May 2, 2006, 08:42 AM #50 of 96
Well..... for me that's everytime I cook. Last time i made instant pudding, I went wrong ^_^. So basically, i'm a bad cook.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
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