How do you handle critics?

Whew, actually guys, I'm one of these people who are not used to receive critics, whenever I got critics from my friend or strangers (just recently my published novel got some reviews) and found it pointed the negative aspects, I tend to be down, nervous, and somehow feel sad to myself.

It's probably because I had low-self esteem back then, and I can't help but to associate critics with mockery, perhaps unconsciously.

Do you have some advices to handle this immaturity?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My advice would be to use the criticisms to improve on some aspect of yourself (or your writing, in the case of your published novel) if the criticisms are constructive and/or make valid points. If they're mean criticisms, though, with no real substance to them then just let them roll off your back. It might be advantageous for you to learn to not let criticism get under your skin, though. Taking criticism well can be an opportunity for you to see something about yourself that you wouldn't have discovered on your own. However, if you feel there's nothing good to be had from the criticism at all, learn to acknowledge it and let it go from your mind. Don't mull over it and let it get you down.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Adara

My advice would be to use the criticisms to improve on some aspect of yourself (or your writing, in the case of your published novel) if the criticisms are constructive and/or make valid points. If they're mean criticisms, though, with no real substance to them then just let them roll off your back. It might be advantageous for you to learn to not let criticism get under your skin, though. Taking criticism well can be an opportunity for you to see something about yourself that you wouldn't have discovered on your own. However, if you feel there's nothing good to be had from the criticism at all, learn to acknowledge it and let it go from your mind. Don't mull over it and let it get you down.

Yeah. Don't listen to criticism if you don't like how it sounds. That's some GREAT advice. You listen to every bit of criticism you get. Every. Fucking. Bit. Even if you disagree with it. The more it cuts, the more it's probably true. Don't listen to sycophants like Adara, who want to tell you it's okay to ignore some of it, cause you're great, and you just need to, you know, realise how great you are. They'll cripple you. Surround yourself with people who rip you apart. That's how you become great.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I love criticism. It motivates me to not just improve myself, but if it is unwarranted criticism, then it motivates me to still get better regardless to prove the detractors wrong.

Ultimately, though, you have to take it in stride. If you let criticism get to you, then it will bring you down.

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Originally Posted by Denicalis

Yeah. Don't listen to criticism if you don't like how it sounds. That's some GREAT advice. You listen to every bit of criticism you get. Every. Fucking. Bit. Even if you disagree with it. The more it cuts, the more it's probably true. Don't listen to sycophants like Adara, who want to tell you it's okay to ignore some of it, cause you're great, and you just need to, you know, realise how great you are. They'll cripple you. Surround yourself with people who rip you apart. That's how you become great.

I think you misunderstood me or maybe I wasn't clear (my lack of clarity is probably to blame). First off, it is important to consider all criticisms that come your way. I don't dispute that. I did not say to ignore critics if you don't like what they have to say, though. No matter what they say if it is true then you can use it to better yourself. However, if a criticism has no validity nor substance then there is no way you can better yourself from it. If you can't improve anything about yourself from a baseless criticism why ponder it for longer than it takes to realize nothing can be had from it?

I was speaking idiomatically.

I couldn't agree with Deni more. The more you get ripped into, the more you want to improve.

I really, really, REALLY think it's a major problem for a lot of people - especially in the US in general. People can't handle honest (not malicious) criticism anymore. No one listens to the criticism of others. No one can "handle it," and tend to just ignore it. I think that's a major tragedy; more than having your feelings hurt because someone was honest with you.

Of course, there are limits. I would say that I disagree with Deni when he says you should listen to every little bit. I'd say consider your sources. Listen to people who love you, or are even an acquaintance. Someone who gives a shit about you, even if in a shallow kind of way.

But perfect strangers? Sometimes they're unnecessarily critical because you're not doing/telling them what they want to hear. I wouldn't give a perfect stranger a second glance if they called me an asshole. But if one my classmates, work associates, whatever tell you something like "you know, that really isn't the best way to do X," I'd listen to what they have to say.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Adara

I did not say to ignore critics if you don't like what they have to say, though.

[...]

However, if a criticism has no validity nor substance then there is no way you can better yourself from it.

Who determines if criticism has validity or substance? eriol does. What is his criteria for determining if a critic has a valid point, when he takes every negative word as a personal affront?

FELIPE NO

I could just agree with Deni and leave it at that. However, I already wrote this post before I read his. So this is kind of a rerun of what he said, but it bears repeating really.


One of the worst, no THE worst part about the internet is that it has the tendency to create these little "safe" zones for "people like us" where everybody is all sweet, nice and happy and everybody's an artist and people praise each other no matter how bad they are at what they're doing. Deviantart, Youtube, music sites, fanfic sites, certain blogs etc., this is ALL over the internet.

What people don't realize is that praise is THE most stifling thing for any artist, no matter what field. Even unwarranted or incorrect criticism is far, far more constructive than blind praise. When people tell you "wow, you're doing great!" does that make you want to improve, or go back and listen for your mistakes or weak parts? No! It makes you want to produce more of the same shit that you already made. That's like being dead. Praise is a murder weapon.

How do you know you've done something shitty? By people telling you so. It's almost impossible to judge your own work objectively unless you're extremely professional. So you are relying on other people telling you the truth about what they liked and more importantly what they didn't like about what you made.

Ever since I became a composer, I have mostly ignored positive comments, and I suck up negative ones. I obsess over them because it's the only way to improve. Even if the negative opinion seems baseless or ridiculous, it probably isn't. It's probably something I need to work on, rather than something on their end. The reason I'm a pro right now is because I had friends who were not afraid to tell me I pretty much sucked ass at composition for about six to eight years. I put so much effort into improving because I knew I could improve so much.

Honest, constructive criticism is the best thing that can happen to you as a creative individual. Especially from people who are not associated with you--most people that know you will not tell you the truth because they've been taught that being "mean" is wrong. Don't let criticism go to waste.

Sorry if this sounds too passionate, but this is something I care about. In my profession I see a lot of fluffy hugglebear bullshit and I see a lot of artists get smothered by it.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The first question I ask people about my films is never "what was your favorite part," it was always "what was your least favorite part."

Nobody is perfect. The unfortunate truth about any kind of creative field is that if you're constantly surrounded by people who think their shit doesn't stink. You gotta knock these people down before they get on the high horse, because once their on, it's real tough to get them off.

Constructive criticism is the absolute best thing a person can get in a creative field. Or any field, really. Constant pampering does nothing but bad things in the long run.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

While I agree with quite a bit of what you were saying...

Originally Posted by surasshu

Ever since I became a composer, I have mostly ignored positive comments, and I suck up negative ones.

What...? You ignore positive comments? Some positive comments actually cement the idea that one is moving to the right place in their work. In that way of thinking, it's helpful to receive positive feedback and acknowledge it. There is nothing wrong with that.

I agree that I get much better more quickly in my own compositions when people are willing to be critically constructive. Even then, 'negative comments' can be done in a positive way. You don't just shit on someone's work without telling them where improvements can be made, or else the criticism is worthless and possibly detrimental.

That being said, I agree completely with Denicalis appraisal.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

For the longest time, I was always afraid of taking criticism, and it was because of that fear that I always tried to be a perfectionist toward a lot of jobs in particular, so there would be nothing I could be criticized for.

Even times that I did get criticized I use to take it too seriously, and always thought that anytime I was criticized it was always thought it was was always based on the negative, never really fully understood that they were trying to incorporate some positive reinforcement into any criticism that they gave me.

I'm presently involved with a job in which the majority of the staff at this office tends to be criticized at least every second day. I take it with a grain of salt. I'll agree with everybody is that everybody needs negative criticism because it drives you to work harder. I also believe that negative criticism is always best if it is conditioned with some positivity, because it seems like a lot of people tend to take negative criticism the wrong way, and see it as a personal attack.

Any criticism that I receive while working as an environmental field inspector I try to take something good out of it, besides deep down they're only words even if they're used in a negative context.

Always remember that your never going to avoid criticism in any kind of work, you just have to make the most out of whatever criticism that is thrown your way. The worse thing you can do is let unwarranted praise give you a false sense of security especially in terms of your work, its better to hear the honest truth than a fabricated truth just to avoid getting your feelings hurt.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by RainMan

What...? You ignore positive comments? Some positive comments actually cement the idea that one is moving to the right place in their work. In that way of thinking, it's helpful to receive positive feedback and acknowledge it. There is nothing wrong with that.

Maybe I should've clarified--ever since I became a composer with the aim of making it my full-time job. In other words, I'm not going to quit any time soon. What positive praise does as far as I can tell is it keeps you going if you were going to quit altogether. But the way I see it, if you're in danger of quitting, maybe it's not your passion anyway.

I need negative feedback to understand what I'm doing wrong, and to give me a push to improve. So while I appreciate being appreciated, I downplay the actual positive feedback as much as possible (to the point of ignoring it).

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

It depends on who it is.

If it is someone like my boss, a close friend, or someone who I know knows what they are talking about, then I use it to improve something.,

If it's from someone who doesn't know what they are talking about, or just doing it so they can say they are 'right', then I ignore them.

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Insofar as unsolicited criticism: I immediately stop to wonder what the critic's motivation was for offering it. If they strike me as a troll, I may briefly consider whether or not there is something valid to what they said, but won't take it seriously.

I do have a hard time with people giving me serious criticism. It's not that I don't recognize how valuable it can be, it's just that my gut reaction is to take it as a personal attack: even though I *know* that probably isn't the case. For me, the hard (and important) thing to do is to separate criticism of my work/schoolwork from criticism of me as a person. With the former you need to consider what pretty much everyone says. With the latter you can only ever trust a very few people to know what they're talking about.

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eriol33, congratulate on your published novel.

Don’t feel down because of the negative reviews. Most of the times you will find the ratios of negative reviews are always much more than the positive one. Although you cannot please everyone in the world, there are always some would like your work and keep you going.

How to handle critic? First you need to expect all kinds of criticism. Book reviews are pretty personal. Sometime you get a negative review because it doesn’t fit in the reviewer’s taste. After all fiction, music and art is abstract and we interpreting it with our own version. Judge the critics yourself to see if the reviewer really read through your works before giving out the comments. Take note to the critics, especially the technical one. It will help you to improve.

My personal advise on handle critics—just nod and take it. Because people will criticize more if you defend yourself. You will get used to it.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by sprouticus

The first question I ask people about my films is never "what was your favorite part," it was always "what was your least favorite part."

I am going to engrave this into my mind.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

You'll be fine Eriol. Every living (and non-living) person has been criticized at some point. It's a completely natural part of being human. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Originally Posted by surasshu

Maybe I should've clarified--ever since I became a composer with the aim of making it my full-time job. In other words, I'm not going to quit any time soon. What positive praise does as far as I can tell is it keeps you going if you were going to quit altogether. But the way I see it, if you're in danger of quitting, maybe it's not your passion anyway.

I need negative feedback to understand what I'm doing wrong, and to give me a push to improve. So while I appreciate being appreciated, I downplay the actual positive feedback as much as possible (to the point of ignoring it).

I understand and agree with most of what you are saying. I am in the same boat.
I trust negative criticism a bit better than praise because you know people aren't trying to kiss your ass. Just a cold hard opinion. However, not all negative criticism is effective by virtue that not all opinions are equal. Positive 'praise' can still be effective if it teaches us something new about what we are doing. In that regard, I differ with you.

There is a way to criticize a piece without ripping your soul apart. People can be real assholes sometimes.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

guys, thank you very much for your kind words, tips and suggestion. I've been receiving some reviews about my novel, and well, I guess I should be prepared for them, I now percept the critics are intended to improve quality of my writing. For your information, my novel was inititally published because it won some national competition, not because I submitted it to publisher. You could say, the story is vaguely commercial and far from cliche.

But it's really strange though, there are some reviews telling my novel is nothing but a crap, but some are complete opposite. I guess this is reminder to make a balanced story that could be considered art and also appeal for many people.

Anyway, I really appreciate your suggestions guys, they make me glad I posted this question on this forum. ^__^

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I always want to seek constructive criticism on my works since that'll be better in the long run. But I also usually gauge the tone of that criticism. If it borders on a complete insult and nothing on the constructive then that sets me off.

After I settle down, I still have to take it though because that piece of critique was there for a reason and I assess the validity. Then there's nothing left but to work on what was seen as crap.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

hey nice timing, actually, just today I received sales report from my editor. My novels actually sold around... 888 copies! Not bad huh for first timer? I guess it's a sign that I shouldn't worried too much and stick to what I believe in.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by eriol33

hey nice timing, actually, just today I received sales report from my editor. My novels actually sold around... 888 copies! Not bad huh for first timer? I guess it's a sign that I shouldn't worried too much and stick to what I believe in.

Congratulations on the sales so far.

In terms of criticism. I have to dispute with what Deni says. There are people out there that their sole reason is to just trash at others for what they do. Look at the internet for example.

Rather than listening to every form of criticism, listen to constructive criticism first, and then the rest if so need be.

For example if you see this:

"Man the story just plain sucks."
I'd pay less attention to that because it doesn't have a concrete backup.

Now if someone says:

"The story sucks because of lack of character development, etc"

That's different because they gave reasoning behind it.

Along with that, look at the pattern of criticism. If one person says they hated the development of the story, where as everyone liked it, I'd still put it on the list for improvment, but it's on low priority.

I was speaking idiomatically.

wow I don't know with me I grew up being made fun of and being laughed at alot as a child. It only made me stronger though as a person today. When I am getting critical reviews and stuff on my works I just think back on those times. I also remember that the information they are giving is only to help you. screw them take the info and be better for it. No offense to critics or anyone at all.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I handle it better than I used to. I still grumble when I receive some, but I learned to find constructiveness in it. As a journalist, accepting criticism is necessary; being too direct in some articles could cause troubles

FELIPE NO

I diss one of their posts in return!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I usually tend to see criticism simply as a challenge which you can rise above.

Jam it back in, in the dark.