[Attention] Bradylama's Fallout Iron Man Challenge!

I know some of you have played Fallout, I know more of you have played Fallout 2, so it's time for me to stop bitching about Fallout 3 and make Fallout a community event. I was inspired by a similar thread on the something awful forums and damnit it's such an awesome idea, and playing Iron Man is so much more fun I had to do it here.

Iron Man, for those of you who don't know, is a term which refers to a game mode in RPGs that only allows you to save when exiting the game, and doesn't allow reloading in-game. Now, Fallout doesn't have an Iron Man mode, so all participants are going to have to act on the honor system.

Iron Man Thread Challenge: Fallout 1&2

-Where can I get Fallout 1&2?-

You mean you don't have it already!? You missed out on fine gaming, my friend. For those of you who cannot find your old copies or have never played the game, Interplay released a game pack shortly before they tanked with both Fallout RPGs and Fallout Tactics on one DVD, all optimized for Windows XP which you can find on any game distribution webstore. Chances are you'll get the International version which had children removed but don't sweat it, there's patches for that.

If you haven't played before I wouldn't recommend playing Iron Man until at least one playthrough, and I suggest starting with Fallout 1 first. If you can't wait for package delivery and want to get them some other way... I don't give a shit.

For those of you installing from the original CD copies use this handy dandy guide for installing 1&2 in Windows2000, NT, and XP. Mac gamers *snort* need not apply.

If you're worried about being able to run it, the games were made in 1997 and 1998. They're 2D, and anybody can run them. You'll have to live with a fixed 640x480 resolution, but the art is so good you shouldn't care.

-Da Rules-

1. Save often and alternate between saves. If one file becomes corrupted you'll need that other one to fall back on.

2. Fallout 2 players should use this patch, which solves the high processing issue with map travel and increases encounters to the normal rate.

3. DON'T RELOAD FAGGOT! Ctrl+L sissy boys aren't welcome. If Dogmeat or any other follower bites the dust, tough shit. Post about it and get mondo cool points. If you die, then that's just a faster trip to the board.

4. Don't use your screename as your character name. You're probably gonna die. It wouldn't do to have your name going up on the board multiple times, so be creative.

5. No Speedrunning. Under absolutely no conditions are you to speedrun through your Iron Man. That's just gay. Don't go to Navarro to get the Power Armor early, don't do anything that would throw off the natural progression of the game. If you want to avoid combat and come back when you're ready, that's fine. To prove that you didn't speedrun, do the following:

6. Update your character's progress using screenshots either via the Print Screen button (not recommended) or by using F12. When saving a screenshot with F12, a .bmp version of your screen will be saved to the game directory. Convert it to JPEG, host it, and post it. Give a description of what's going on and how you're progressing, and don't bore use with how many times you fucked Mrs. Bishop, just tell us about the cool stuff or present it in a humorous or interesting way. If you avoided a major combat then get a screencap of proof, preferably a dialog screen. If you don't have image hosting then use Photobucket.com or any other crappy and free hosting service. If you can't keep up with all the necessary screens, don't sweat it, it's just more interesting this way.

7. Be sure to preface your description of every NPC death with the smiley so that I can spot them and add to the tally Board of Fallen Heroes. Make sure to take a screenshot of their beautiful corpse.

8. "I died, what now?" Post about it, Meathead! When your character dies use this picture:

or:

for the appropriate games. Describe how you died, and your name goes on the Board of Losers (but you're a winner for being honest), and if you died in a particularly stupid way, it'll go in the Holodisk of Shame. Once you're done with all the info, it's time to make another character in either game, and start anew!

9. "What if I don't die? What if I win?" THEN YOU A WINNER! CONGRATURATION! You get on the Wieners Board. Just be sure to mention whether your character was primarily good or evil, which NPC followers survived, and which one of the multiple endings you're most proud of.

Now GET CRACKING CRACKAS!

The Wieners
-----------
   Name          Game             Alignment             Favorite Ending

1.

The Losers
----------
   Name          Game          Cause of Death

1. Chuck Rock     F1        Radscorpion venom, injected liberally into the knuckles.
2. Chosen Dumb    F2        Flesh Feast for Keeng Ra'at.
3. Red Menace     F2        Devoured by a pack of wild dogs in Modoc.
4. Lucky          F2        Received a hot buckshot injection from the casino guards in Redding.
5. Wyatt          F2        Didn't run out of the radscorpion cave when he should've.
6. Homer          F1        The Den guards got bored standing around all day.
7. Marge          F1        Tried clearing the radscorpion cave with a pig sticker.
8. Wayne          F1        Kane rearranged his face.
9. Blurgh          F2        Perforated on the way to The Den.

The Holodisk of Shame
---------------------
   Name          Game          Cause of Death

1.

The Board of Fallen Heroes
--------------------------
Fallout 1
   NPC          # of Deaths    # of Survivals
Dogmeat              2              N/A
Ian                  3               N/A
Tandi               N/A              N/A
Tycho                1              N/A
Katja               N/A              N/A

Fallout 2
   NPC          # of Deaths    # of Survivals
Sulik               N/A              N/A
Vic                  1               N/A
Miria               N/A              N/A
Davin               N/A              N/A
Cassidy              1               N/A
Lenny               N/A              N/A
Marcus              N/A              N/A
Myron               N/A              N/A
Skynet              N/A              N/A
K-9                 N/A              N/A
Goris               N/A              N/A
Cyber Dog           N/A              N/A
Dogmeat             N/A              N/A

Additional Spam:
Alright, this time I'm playing Fallout 2 as Chosen Dumb:

An unarmed build as you can plainly see. FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE ANTS

I convince the guardian that fighting isn't the answer and go to tag my swag...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Awesome. I'm so in, this'll give me an excuse to play Fallout again. I suspect I'll have a few qualifying entries in the stupid death section though. The number of times I've got involved in gun battles with whole towns just through pressing the wrong mouse button is painful.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ahh hell, I've been wanting to play the game again, so this gives me a reason to. I'll skip most of the boring details and just mention the notable things.

To start, I decided to make my typical character type: small arms/energy weapons along with speech, and try to talk my way out of situations and use violence when that doesn't work. This character shall be Daedelus (he'll be followed by Icarus and Helios should he die).



I decided to take the Skilled and Gifted traits, which I thought was a decent tradeoff although I won't get many perks this way. But hey, who needs them when you have 10 agility, 9 intelligence, and enough perception to be a sharpshooter? Luck sucks though, screw luck.

I continued on, doing the misc quests in Aroyo: convincing that annoying aunt to give me the flint for free, rescuing the dog, gardening the...garden, etc. I put all my gained skill points into Speech, since I would need it to get by safely in the coming area. After this, I headed out to Klamath, but only briefly stopping by to get the items in Vic's shed and grabbing a few items, luckly getting enough money to buy a gun just in case I needed it.

Eventually I got to The Den. After gathering info and giving Vic the radio to fix it, I still was short on cash, so I banded with Lara's gang and helped take out Tyler's gang, offering a few shots in the background but keeping far away since a blue vault suit provides remarkably little protection against bullets!



Woot! Free stuff! After looting the bodies of their numerous spoils, I had $1053, enough to free Vic with change to spare.



Don't worry, you'll be repaying me. Yes...yes you will...

So, we headed out to Vault City, in search of treasure and a flux capacitor for the car. Sadly, I came across a wonderful encounter with a fight between a caravan and some bandits, but the game crashed as they were fighting so I didn't get to scavenge anything :/

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm in. Fallout 1: Chuck Rock.


Trying something a little different than my usual fast-talking pickpocket.


Playing Ratslayer on the way out of the Vault caverns...


Ambushed by avenging rats in the desert. They are punished for their insolence.


Yeah, it's great to be here. Did you know there's a huge gaping hole in your useless wall? Ok, cool.

I go to fetch Ian, but he asks me to talk to Aradesh. 'sup, Aradesh?


OK I WILL GO PUNCH THEM WITH MY BEST PUNCHES

Epilogue: That COMPLETELY didn't work.

DIED. Fallout 1 - Chuck Rock - Radscorpion venom, injected liberally into the knuckles.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I haven't played this since around 2002. Anyone know where I may find a reputable ISO or equivalent? I had to give my friend the discs back before he moved. Insistent wanker.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

I haven't played this since around 2002. Anyone know where I may find a reputable ISO or equivalent? I had to give my friend the discs back before he moved. Insistent wanker.

Try the usual places. You know the ones.

Also, for anybody who intends to play Fallout 2 it is highly suggested that you use this patch. Normally on modern computers map travel doesn't work like it should in Fallout 2, so you'll need this patch to be able to have encounters at the normal rate.

This will also be a new ground rule. I forgot about this starting my character, so I'm gonna have to work with a new one. Update in a second.

Additional Spam:
This time around I made a character worthy of the name Chosen Dumb:



Me Chosen Dumb! Me am what auntie call, uh... big sack of dumb brahmin shit. I not know what it mean but makes me feel strong like Brahmin. Me love Auntie. Me am lucky. Me think that why me Chosen.



Me want get Teddy. Spear Man say no. Me not try fight though.



Ants not tough, me puch 'em good. Man not tough. Me punch him good.



Old Lady give me pretty suit, but not give money. Me take Auntie money. Me love Auntie.


Also Pang, you gotta use the picture.

Additional Spam:


Lotsa bad plants and lizardies. I stick them. Then go Klamath find Vic...



Torr seem like nice guy...



Torr am nice guy. Me hep Torr fight bugmen. Make Torr happy. No town people nice like Torr. Smelly Man ask me to kill miceys, me like miceys.





Chosen Dumb became a flesh feast for Keeng Ra'at.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

This sounds like a great idea! I'm in! Just gotta find me a copy of Fallout 2 (haven't played Fallout enough to do an Iron Man). I'll come back and edit this post when I've created a character.

EDIT: DONE: AND HERE SHE IS: SAY HELLO TO LUCKY!:

This is Lucky. Lucky was blessed in many ways. For starters, she had the looks, and guys would literally fall for her everywere she went(Sex appeal). She didn't seem to have that many female friends though, since they all seemed to be jealous about her attractiveness.

Although she wasn't the smartest tool in the shed, she wasn't dumb. She just didn't have that much to say(Low CH, average IN).

Instead of talking, she gambled. And boy could she gamble(LK+Gambling 70%). She always did win at them paper-rock-scissors duels. This, in turn, made her a lot of enemies who wanted her ass kicked. However, that was easier said than done. Many of her enemies were overwhelmed by her innate martial arts skills, and this one time (at band camp?) she accidentally threw someone into a wall, causing the roof to fall down on her opponent, crushing her beyond recognition(bloody mess).



When Lucky turned 18, the village elder decided that she was too much for this village. I mean, there's only that many dead bodies you can take, and she just couldn't have Lucky have all the village's men for herself. Elder want some of that booty, too. So, naturally, it was time she had a coming of age trial, like all the other people the village elder didn't like, and sent her to the caves (for certain doom!).



The trial was a big letdown for Lucky. The scorpions didn't stand a chance when her fists of fury rained down on their skulls, and trial was over before anyone knew it.

When she came back, the village elder wasn't pleased. Although she didn't say it out clearly, she made it very clear that she wanted Lucky out of the village for good. "Go find Vic", she said, giving Lucky a flask and some money. "WOW! MUNNIES!", thought Lucky, and headed straight out of the village in a hurry to get lucky(pun).



On her travels, she met a man named Torr. He said he needed help guarding his moomoos. "Come on! This guy is dumber than horseshit", she thought, but she couldn't help but feel sorry for him so she decided to help.

The scorpions attacking his "moomoos" were a piece of cake, and after helping Torr get rid of them, Lucky decided to continue her travels.



Most amazing jew boots

Count me in as soon as I get home!

This seems like an awesome and fun idea. I've barely played F2 so I'll have to stick with F1.

Watch me take on entire towns!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Figured I'd do something a bit more interesting this time around as Red Menace:



This time I went with a Melee/Big Guns combination choosing Fast Shot in anticipation of spraying an assload of lead all over the place. It'll be risky for most of the game not being able to make called shots in melee, but it'll be worth it if I can get my hands on the Vindicator.



I do most of the assorted crap for my inbred fuckwit people and go off to Klamath to dig through Vic's crap...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm downloading Fallout 1 and 2 right now. Never played it before, but I keep hearing good things about it and this sounds like fun! I should have a character started by tomorrow.


And here he is!


Being something of a noob at this sort of game (I haven't played very many games where you choose your own stats from the start. Or very much at all.) I just picked what looked good to me at the time. Let's hope for the best! :thumbsup:

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Helped the Duntons russle Torr's cattle and now I gotta go save his dumbass. :bang:



After saving Smiley and all that bi'ness, I get Vic from Metzger and tell Flick I can't stand his fuckin' face for the gun I'll get from his dead body.



After re-burying Anna's bones, I hit lvl. 6. 2 followers won't be enough, so I opt for a magnetic personality instead of more toughness.



On the way between The Den and Modoc, I found some slavers being attacked by Golden Geckos. One of the slavers burst and critted Vic in the first turn, so I killed the bitch and let the Geckos go to town on the others. After fond goodbyes I went to Modoc and took the job protecting brahmin.



Just to have Red Menace be mobbed by a pack of dogs and critted for 14 hitpoints.

How ya doing, buddy?

Dude, Brady, I love you, I have a good reason to replay Fallout 1 and 2.

This'll be awesome...though I see myself dying a lot. -_-

I'm all in for this one...

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Dying is a good thing! It just wouldn't be as fun. I also wish some of you guys would start participating so I don't just look like some asshole.

i wil wayt 4 u!

Most amazing jew boots

Take 1: Homer Simpson

I tried to model it after the real character from the show. As such, his luck, charisma, and intelligence are lower than average. The only stat that I will make an exception to is agility, which, for most characters, will be 10 because anything else would be a much bigger challenge. Similarly, he's pretty strong, and he can take hits (10 Endurance). Gifted and Finesse are chosen for higher base stats as well as a chance for more critical hits. Small guns as one of the 3 skills is a given for all of my characters. Speech for a possibility to talk myself out of stuff if the need arises, and melee weapons for me to survive through the first few quests until I get a gun. As a side note, "Homer Simpson" doesn't fit in the field, so just a Homer will do for now.


Killing me some rats for experience, because god knows I need it.


If this wasn't an Iron Man game, I would have gotten this BB rifle, but since it is, probably not a good idea to go for it.


Woohoo! Level up! Getting ready for my guns. Pumped up the small guns skills and some melee weapons.


Yay! Ian! For the love of god, don't do anything stupid.


Levelled up again. Get my frst perk. Nothing else was really compelling, so I went with Swift Learner. As for skill points, a lot more into small guns, left a few into melee, which will carry me just a little bit more.


Hell yes, time to kill some radscorpions!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well, it's been awhile since I've updated my quest, but I've been making some nice progress. Went to Modoc, solved their problems (hooking them up with those underground people, and getting a snazzy new set of armor for my trouble), and then stopped by for a quick bite to eat:



Yum. Following that, I went to Vault city, solved their problems, hooked Cassidy up with my party, and headed back to the Den to find the runaway ghoul. Unfortunately, we were attacked by bandits on the way back and had a few casualties:



Poor Cassidy, he put up a fight, but in the end a single burst from a rogue bandit is all it can take. A shame too...that combat shotgun I'll get in Redding is practically going to go to waste now...

After that, I got some new armor (figured I would need it after the last encounter), and headed over to Gecko where I fixed their power plant:



Yup, 4250 experience for telling a guy to do something for me. I love speech. Next, I'll head to Broken Hills and see if I can't get a big burley mutant to join up with me. But I have to find a wrench and I need to optimise Gecko's power plant first...not sure how to go about either...

Oh, and a side note: try NOT to simply save the converted images as jpegs using the Windows Picture and Fax viewer. Since the game only runs in 256 color, JPEG does a horrible job trying to "compress" the image: they end up larger than the original BMPs! GIFs or PNGs seem to work great though.

FELIPE NO

I arrived in Shady Sands and decided to help them with their Radscorpion problem, out of the goodness of my heart. With Ian's help, I destroyed the nest and came back with the tails, getting them changed to antidotes.


After that I spoke with the nice lady at the gate, (I forget her name...) and she said I could find a Water Chip in Vault-15! So I bade them farewell and set out to Vault-15.


But not before joining the Raiders! Maybe I'm not so good after all. We slaughtered a couple of bitches and, seeing nothing else useful to do at the moment, continued our journey. We reached Vault-15 but we needed a rope if we were gonna go down the elevator shaft. We decided to head for Junktown to see about procuring a rope.


Turns out there's some gang trouble in Junktown! The authorities don't have enough evidence to arrest the gangs, so I offered to dig up some dirt on them.


While talking to the shopkeep, an assassin showed up! We helped to kill him, but Ian accidentally shot one of the guards in the firefight, resulting in everyone ganging up on him and shooting him dead. I took his shit and tried to calm everyone down, but they wouldn't have it. =/



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well, I have bad luck. No, literally, I have REALLY bad luck:



I've just found something I've never seen before: his name is the "Pariah Dog", and he gives me the Jinxed perk! Arg! AND he takes up a character slot without any way to get rid of him. Or at least, no easy way to...the bugger has 750 HP, so it looks like I might be doing some teamkilling soon...

Edit: and lol at finding this post when I was looking up what the Pariah dog actually was.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Moving on....in the same day, since I have a lot of time on my hands...


Woohoo! Radscorpions are dead as shit.


Finally arrived in Junktown, Order of business here:

1. Grab Dogmeat. Check.


2. Visit Killian to buy stuff. Check.


3. Kill Killian's Assassin. Check.

Now, can you spot what's wrong in this picture? I know I didn't see it until I actually clicked. I was assuming full saturation of bullets into the assassin. but apparently, that wasn't the case as the burst manage to reach that guard in the top right hand corner. So he came after me, but was subsequently killed by Dogmeat and Ian. Apparently, Killian still wanted me to go catch Gizmo red-handed after this incident. So I was going to accept, but when I walked outside of the store, those two guards turned hostile, as did Killian. So I unfortunately had to put them all down.

The Aftermath?

Now, all of Junktown is after me, so I'm going to just get the fuck out of here. Just to be curious, I dropped by the pub in Junktown to see if I could recruit Tycho by any chance. So I open the door, and before I can do anything, Neil draws his loud-ass gun and starts shooting at me and Tycho comes after me as well. So, better that Tycho die by my hands than some supermutants.

I dropped by the Raiders base too to rescue Tandi. Unfortunately, I don't have any shots of that because I think I was pressing "Printscreen" unknowingly instead of F12, because those pictures do not exist on my computer.

Anyways, off to The Hub.

First order of business, Mug Lorenzo.

Alright, "loan" me some money first.


I didn't start it! Honest!


Yay, Pillage!

Second order of business, See Kane.

Again, I did not mean to kill Killian in Junktown.


Alright, Let's do this!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The adventures of Lucky, part 2:

After toying around a bit, killing rats and buying a new, cool leather jacket, Lucky decided to take trip out of town and visit the neighboring "Den" to kick som gecko ass.



A few headbutts and more than a few groin kicks later, she got tired and decided to rest up a bit. She had heard that there was a casino in a nearby mining town. Because she didn't have any money, however, she wouldn't be able to have any fun even if she went there. So she decided to...



...go dig for some treasure, and sell the loot for cash.



Said and done, when she had enough cash, she went to gamble. Despite the luck she had in the past, Lady Luck wasn't smiling on her this day and she lost all of her money.



Irritaded by her lack of luck, Lucky decided that it was time for some pickpocketing. Her dexterious fingers swiftly conquered the nearby one armed bandit addict's pockets and she was ready for action once again.

A few quick games later, she was broke again. Any more easy targets in sight? Nope, she needed to get some more money. FAST. So she went downtown and looked for prey. Her intuition told her that someone with at least a roof over his head should have some money. She tried to pickpocket a nearby villager and.... NOOOOOOO, she got caught! He freaked out and started running all over the place, yelling "thief! thief!".

Startled by this fact, Lucky decided to put her tail between her legs and run. But she didn't come far before her previous prey's brother arrived on a scene. Before she knew it, she was on the ground. MAN, could he pack a punch!

But Lucky decided to show him who's boss. She kicked him around and gave him a few fast punches in the stomach before landing a perfect groin kick! OUCH! That's gotta hurt! Kicking him while he was lying down, she didn't notice the two guards approaching... would she be able to escape?

When she saw the two guards, armed to their teeth, she immediately stopped kicking and turned to running. But it was too late, and the two guards fired their shotguns after her, wounding her critically. Her final lesson in life was to be that crime doesn't pay, and that leaving a trail of blood ain't the smartest thing to do if you want to run away.



THE END



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Meet Blanche. An attractive and learned young lady of weak constitution, who will find herself depending upon the kindness of strangers.



After uncharacteristically getting her hands dirty for young Feargus, Blanche levels up and dumps all points into small arms. A girl's gotta protect herself, you know?



In Klamath, Blanche encounters a well-meaning mongoloid with cattle trouble. After being spooked by a radscorpion she agrees to help the Duntons, and then later saves the mongoloid in exchange for the freedom of that strapping buck negroe.



She uses the digs from all over town to trade in a gun more fitting her frame, and a leather jacket. Not the latest in fashions but it'll do in a pinch. In Trapper Town, Blanche grabs the attention of Slim. Will he be able to provide her the attention and security that she craves?



No, he was only interested in the key to the rats. Oh Slim, you could've had the key to Blanche's heart.



Hello, The Den!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Meet Wyatt. An optimistic, albeit not very smart, young fella who had a great interest in guns. Small guns, big guns, red guns, blue guns, they were all equally exciting and he dreamed of one day owning a piece of his own. Since there were no guns to be found in the backwater village he was born in, Wyatt decided it was time to enter the wild.



After running around in the wild, getting chased by geckos and giant rodents...



...Wyatt found himself in the reactor town of Gecko. There, he met Harold. Harold needed help fixing the reactor and would be very pleased if Wyatt could fetch a "thingie" for him over at vault city.



Wyatt left Gecko in a hurry and headed towards vault city in the hopes of finding what he was searching for, a gun.



Well at vault city, finding the restrictions to be too harsh and the beer too weak, he decided to leave vault city and once again enter the wilds.



On his travels south, he came upon a cave. He entered the cave and started searching, only to find that it was booby trapped and before he could say "I shouldn't have entered this cave, it will probably be my ruin", he had fallen into a pit...



...full of giant scorpions!!!



Using his superior sneaking abilities, he tried to reach the exit before anyone noticed him. Sadly, the giant scorpions saw his fumbling attempts at being a ninja master and decided it was time to put an end to the story of Wyatt. Wyatt valiantly fought back, but the scorpions were too strong for him to handle. As the scorpion stingers pierced his chest, the only regret he had in his mind was that he was never able to own his own gun.

THE END



I was speaking idiomatically.

Here's my guy, Hiro Protagonist. Luck is for losers. As are big guns and energy weapons, since I reckon he won't live long enough to reach either.

After looting my village for everything I can find (two rocks), I head out and go exploring. After killing a pack of rats (a rat pack) and escaping from some cannibals, I reach a mystery town.


Guns? All I have is my reliable lil' harpoon, so I leave this place for now.

I reach the town of Klamath and find some guy named Torr.


Since I'm a big fan of cows, I agree.


Hey, asshole, those aren't bugmen, they're just a bunch of scorpions. Moreover, why are you just standing there while I'm getting ganged up on and poisoned? 'Help guard' implied some effort from your part as well. Dick.

Anyway, I deal with the scorpions, level up, and head back to town. After walking around a bit, I find Sulik and pay 350 bottle caps to free him. That later turns out to be a mistake.

Sulik and I kill some brahmin to celebrate, then look for some useful things to borrow.


Get your facts straight, asshole. I have an IN value of 9, whereas Torr doesn't know what a fucking scorpion is. Also, my Steal skill is only at 14%.

Either way, we kill these guys, but things start getting out of hand when it turns out more townspeople heard their dying screams.


I do the sensible thing and run, leaving Sulik to deal with this mess.

Surprisingly, he manages to hammer his way through, we high-five one another and escape the town to rest for a bit.


When we come back, some bitch asks me if I like what I see. It should be noted that she tried to kill us with a cattle prod earlier. Do I like what I see? What kind of shitty meta-humour is that? Fuck you.

Since she has only two hitpoints left from earlier, I dispose of her with a harpoon slam special. At that point, Sulik decides that he should start hitting me with his hammer for no particular reason. What? Motherfucker.


I escape from that waste of 350 bottle caps and head for Toxic Caves, figuring there's no way that the collective IQ there could be lower than in Klamath. Seriously, fuck those hicks. ¡No los necesitamos!

Though, the only thing I find in the caves is a bunch of geckos that almost kick my ass, so I am forced to retreat.

Since I can't take the whole Klamath just by myself, with only a harpoon, I am heading for the mystery town from earlier, though I still have no gun.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Metzger certainly is a horrible brute of a man.



Nobody will ever be good to you, Blanche. Blanche accomplished all of the Modoc quests but had the good sense not to take the Brahmin guarding. On the way to Vault City she encountered some golden geckos and...



A cave full of deathclaws!



"My land, fuck that."



Surely some silly old test won't be too much for young Blanche...



Oh well. Off to Gecko.

Additional Spam:


Browsing through the Poseidon mainframe, Blanche finds some interesting material.



Didn't turn out to be much of a conversationalist.



After fixing the reactor and achieving citizenship, Blanche uses her feminine wiles to receive a tour of the Vault's medical facilities and some lil' 'ol innoculations.



By level 9 she's developed quite the magnetic personality.



After rescuing Woody from The Den, Vic went down in a shotgun burst from Cassidy. He will be missed (but not so much after already talking to Valerie).



Blanche dropped into Redding to learn about the Jet problem before meeting this interesting character.



No freak mutant scorpion is going to get away with thinking it's better than Blanche! She chomps down on some mentats stolen from the professor to increase her chances.



Didn't like that much. After exposing the racist conspiracy, Blanche must go to New Reno to get parts for the purifier.



New Reno is as vulgar as any other hole in the dessert, but she gets the part... only to find the car missing!



T-Ray wasn't buying what Blanche was selling (this turned out to be because of the mentat withdrawal), so Blanche gave him a piece of her mind.



After doing his job for him, Blanche recruits Marcus, an even bigger hunk of a man to protect her from what would do her harm. Sorry, Sulik you're no longer highest on the totem pole.



The Sherrif now feels confident enough to deputize Blanche, but there's some strange noises coming from Marge's well...



Those aren't dogs! The Wannamingos were tough, but the 10mm SMG was tougher.

FELIPE NO

Meh, I figured I wasn't going to get in holding a shotgun in my hands and a desert eagle in the other, so may as well just start blasting.


Damn, this is going to hurt. I can't imagine somebody surviving this. But he survived alright. and I didn't miss either.


Awesome. Mission Completed. On to the next!


Oooh, Pamphlets?


Way to be hostile, jerkass. It's about time we showed these bitches Mr. Shotgun.


Damn straight.


Following that, Homer proceeds to get gouged the hell out of. A single combat shotgun for 16 throwing knives, a desert eagle, 6 pieces of leather armor, all my 10mm JHP ammo, my .44 magnum ammo, and about 8000 caps after that. This had better be the best damn gun I've ever used.


Alright, let's do this, bitches. Big Homer's got a brand new Shotgun.


Jesus christ, almost died within 1 turn. This does not look good. The only good thing that came out of this is that Kane is down first turn (not dead, but down, so it helps out a lot).


Hanging on to life by a thread after "Sheriff Green" shot me. That bastard...


So after all that, we really need some money, especially after getting gouged for that combat shotgun. Damn you, Jake. So we resorted to the lowest form of work possible, caravans (aka mercenary work).


Aftermath of the first trip. Fucking huge group of raiders. Homer mowed everybody down though, but not before they got a few good shots on Dogmeat, who bit the dust. Damn.


After giving Dogmeat a proper burial and funeral, Homer wanted some revenge. Time for some .223 action. Help this poor fellow out, and get your hands on one of the greatest sidearms EVER.


Apparently, the guys REALLY don't like Ian, because that's all they did the entire time, was just shoot Ian. Human shield, I suppose, but he was a good shot, damn it. Time to get double revenge.


Alright, time for some revenge finally. Homer opens the door and runs way the fuck back behind the guards. After a lengthy crossfire through 2 guards who didn't do anything with bullets flying past their heads, one finally gets shot, and I "unexpectedly" recruit 2 allies. Unfortunately for Homer, his brain wasn't screwed on right at that moment because he was sure he targeted the thug, but the next thing he knew, his barrel was pointed at one of the guards, trigger pulled. D'oh!


Homer attempts to evade them, but as luck (or fate) would have it, that inability to purchase better armor became his downfall as a point-blank range combat shotgun burst to the chest blew off half of his body.





Here lies Homer J. Simpson, mercilessly slaughtered by The Entirety of the Hub Police Force.

Additional Spam:
Now it's Marge's Time to shine!

(Player's Note: This was a hard character to model after because there aren't too many qualities that stand out. There's nothing that's terrible, but not much that's good either. Not much in the ST and EN department, which leads to a low HP count. I'm sure Marge had some dark side too, so I picked Bloody Mess and Night Person. After that, Skills were Gambling, First Aid, and Melee Weapons. She's addicted to gambling, and what other weapons and skills would a mother figure use?)


Marge's Opening Move doesn't look too good as the cave rats at the beginning were even enough to put her into the caution HP range. But she survived that, and moved on to a town later known as Shady Sands.


Maybe the townspeople are just paranoid about strangers, but Marge didn't think too highly of this. Jotting down mental notes. But nevertheless, another woman at the entrance tipped Marge off of another vault that the water chip might be in, so it's off to Vault 15.


Again, Marge is shoved into battle against more cave rats, but this time, she has enlisted Ian's help, and together, they utterly crushed all the rats as Marge stabs groins.


Marge thought it was finally time to kick it up a few notches. So she decided to go after some bigger, meaner enemies, and with a name of "Radscorpion", you can't go wrong.


Apparently, Marge couldn't hold them off, and Ian couldn't save her in time. With relentless attacks, Marge went down with her inability to take hits as her downfall.





Here lies Marge Simpson, gang raped by a pack of Radscorpions.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

After taking care of business, the Sherrif wants Blanche to off some little trouble maker named Frog.



He was more dangerous than he looked. Just a shame his G38 is too much for lil' old Blanche to handle. The Wannamingoes were still way too tough, so Blanche heads to New Reno to look for work.



The Mordinos sure sound like they could use a woman's touch...



Blanche impresses Big Jesus to give her some fetch quests. Typical male. =/



Out at the ranch, though, Blanche levels up talking about Jet. Not the most civilized of topics but it'll do. Between New Reno and Gecko, Blanche finds a cave full of baby deathclaws!



Aww, ain't they cute? There must've been 4500 xp worth of them.



The Sierra Army Depot is a little much for Blanche's metal armor, so instead she heads back to the Toxic caves.



Algernon's electronic lockpick comes in handy...



But the robot was tough. Blanche had enough sense to lure the robot right to her so that she could toss an emp grenade in its face.



With all the energy from the Toxic Caves it was off to find the Raiders with Bishop's map, but they're a little too tough now. Vault City wasn't much help with the info, so it's off to NCR to see if Blanche can't get some better "protection."



On the way to NCR the party was attacked by 12 marauders. It wasn't easy, but a couple of them had P90's, so all around worth the trip for Blanche.


Edit: Blanche died from Super Mutants doing a convoy run from NCR, which is great because I'm fucking sick of trying to make posts in-character. Streetcar just isn't that great. Time to make a character that I've wanted to play with for a looooong time.

Jam it back in, in the dark.