At an inate level, I am scared of girls.

Sometimes I wake up in the night shouting and all sweaty. These are the wet dreams.

But let's talk about today.

Actually no, let's talk about six weeks and 5 hours ago. Then I was sitting next to the delightful Sarah in EDU282. We were somewhat familiar with each other and this was the most we'd chatted in any lesson. I was into her. I raced for the seat next to her when I arrived in class. Class ended and I sat around because my next class was in the same room. She was going home… except she didn't, she lingered. She just had an extra nothing to say to me and I'm all mentally "well let's just wrap this conversation up" and then she left. 5 minutes later it hit me; why the fuck didn't I ask for her number? I wont see her for 3 weeks and that is a long enough study break to fit in a date what the fuck!

I haven't seen her since at all. I think she dropped out or something, two exams and two full days of class and I haven't seen her. The window is shut. She doesn't have a facebook, her myspace is untouched since 07. It's over. Am cry.

Let's come back to the now, 10 hours ago. We're wrapping up the final hour of EDU282 for the semester. I'm sitting on the same table as Imogen. Imogen is hot. Intimidatingly so. Elle Macpherson is nicknamed 'The Body' because her measurements of 92c-62-89 (36-25-35) are considered perfect. While I haven't had the opportunity or courage to measure Imogen, I imagine she'd record similar figures. Class is wrapping up, we're packing up. "Yeah I'm thinking Tavern" I quietly say to my group. "Yeah I might just meet you there," she replies. Then class ended and there was one final handout to collect and I collected mine and just, just wandered the fuck off. "What the hell Roland! Of course a girl isn't going to just arrive at a bar alone, you have to chat them up the whole way there," is what I told myself as I stared over my beer towards Bush Court.

I finished the beer and thought about food. So I headed to the refectory and in the line to Aroma for a bite to eat. In the line I get chatting to a girl I hadn't ever spoken to but knew from EDU231. Although she's not particularly attractive and we'd never spoken there was always a spunk to her that I'd been inexplicably drawn to. I'm turning on the charm and we got along great. We ate lunch together, albiet with some of her friends but they might as well not have been there. She had to rush back for her 1pm class. And kinda lingered. "So I guess I'll see you sometime…"
"Yeah! I'll see you around" I reply.

In my head a little voice said "Nup that's it. fuck you mate I'm outta here."

I keep telling myself I want a girlfriend or at least a date but it's like my body is resisting it. What the fuck.

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Maybe you're gay? Have you tried chatting up any men to see if the same thing happens?

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I've always half jokingly suggested that gay men have it much easier because we are much more reasonable, mentally stable and years of conditioning make approaching your own gender easier. But I'm pretty sure if I was gay there would be some kind of physical attraction, I live with three other guys and the desire to jump into one of their muscular arms just isn't there.

Who kows, maybe I'll head down to The Court and see how I go .

How ya doing, buddy?

Maybe then it's an innate fear of rejection rather than of women. Do you find it easier to talk to them when you're drunk?

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Originally Posted by RABicle

I've always half jokingly suggested that gay men have it much easier because we are much more reasonable, mentally stable

Quote:

we are much more reasonable, mentally stable

Quote:

we are much more reasonable, mentally stable

I don't think there's a 'we' in that statement you just made there, Rabby.

I was speaking idiomatically.

By "we" RAB means the male gender in general, not just gays.

Oh, and RAB...go watch 40-Year Old Virgin. There's a scene where Seth Rogan punches the other guy in the balls after he says he's too afraid of women to go talk to a gorgeous single at the bar.

"What'd you hit me in the balls for?" he yells.

"I didn't punch you in the balls," says Seth Rogan. "I punched you in the fleshy place where your balls used to be."

Every time you see a girl you want to ask out, but almost don't, imagine Seth Rogan is punching you in the balls.

How ya doing, buddy?

There may be cultural differences to consider. That said, grow a pair. You seem like an intelligible chap. Emotional maturity could be deferred but that wouldn't necessarily make your company any less enjoyable. Be sure of yourself and put yourself out there. You can't be afraid of life.

How ya doing, buddy?

Induce a confidence high in yourself. the hard part for shy male is knowing what is the appropriate situation to approach the female subject. If you have any talents, go to a party where you have full chance to display them, even if you don't get lucky that time, try again. Just get that positive shit running through your brain.

Don't fully understand the subtle signs a female will give off when attracted? There are entire books devoted to body language, read them, familiarize yourself with some of the more basic ones, and from there you innate instincts should pick up.


If all else fails craigslist has a section for trannies looking to fuck. Couldn't be any worse than not getting any.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Practice asking girls out. Ask out girls that you aren't attracted to. You'll have nothing to lose and once you realize that, you'll be ready for the pond.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hell, before even asking girls out, how about approaching and talking to them first?

Fundamentals first.

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Quote:

Hell, before even asking girls out, how about approaching and talking to them first?

Fundamentals first.

No. You get to know each other a little on each date. That's when you talk. Less is more. Dating is what will put you in the best seat in the house. Girlfriend hunting is not a matter of talking and texting someone's ears off until you're ready to hold hands. That's a common and unfortunate misconception.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Gift of Game

No. You get to know each other a little on each date. That's when you talk. Less is more. Dating is what will put you in the best seat in the house. Girlfriend hunting is not a matter of talking and texting someone's ears off until you're ready to hold hands. That's a common and unfortunate misconception.

So you're saying the best way to get over your fear of girls is to walk up to one, immediately ask her on a date, and... then what? You do realize that 99.9% of people would say "no" to a completely unsolicited date request, and the other 0.1% are protitutes, correct? That's a FANTASTIC way to get over your fear of girls, getting rejected by a few... hundred.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Or he could be a card-carrying member of the seduction community...

I was speaking idiomatically.

That's why most of you are closet fags. Nothing wrong with being fags, but the closet is a dark, discouraging place.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Gift of Game

No. You get to know each other a little on each date. That's when you talk. Less is more. Dating is what will put you in the best seat in the house. Girlfriend hunting is not a matter of talking and texting someone's ears off until you're ready to hold hands. That's a common and unfortunate misconception.

While I don't disagree with what Devo said either - this has a lot of fact in it. It seems to be a thing of our current age - though perhaps for people younger than I - that younger people seem to feel... entitled to relationships without doing anything that actually equates to *working* at it?

FELIPE NO

It's just lack of experiance RAB, just keep at it and eventually you'll do the right thing.

no homo

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Or he could be a card-carrying member of the seduction community...

The seduction community, proving that you can be creepier than furries.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Haha. Yeah. Projecting my newborn daughter. She can already say fag. I luff her.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Mom Bomb

So you're saying the best way to get over your fear of girls is to walk up to one, immediately ask her on a date, and... then what? You do realize that 99.9% of people would say "no" to a completely unsolicited date request, and the other 0.1% are protitutes, correct? That's a FANTASTIC way to get over your fear of girls, getting rejected by a few... hundred.

99.9% of girls might say no to you perhaps but actually, it's not that difficult to walk up to a random girl and get her number at least. I'm not saying you walk right up and blurt out the question, generally you offer to buy her a drink first but I have in the past just walked up to someone and got her number and everyone who gives it out isn't automatically a 'ho'. Whilst Mr Game isn't great at articulating his point of view, he's not, in this instance, wrong. All that getting to know people and working up to being in a relationship is basically for losers.

You know all those threads we get by people who really like a girl and have done for ages and they were getting on really well but then she met some asshole and now they do nothing but have filthy, kinky sex all the time? Those threads are written by people who play the long game and get to know people slowly and surely.

I dunno, maybe things work differently if you're fat and ugly but I'd have thought then it's just a case of picking your targets better. If Mo0 waddled up to someone attractive and asked them out on a date they would of course say no and possibly be physically sick, but if he tried it with some 34 stone gothalump, he might well get a yes or at least a phone number.

I'm not saying you're wrong Mo0, I'm just saying that you giving out advice on meeting girls is like me giving advice on particle physics, my experience in the field is strictly on a third hand, theoretical basis.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Big Gay Chulo

Whilst Mr Game isn't great at articulating his point of view, he's not, in this instance, wrong. All that getting to know people and working up to being in a relationship is basically for losers.

It's not that I'm bad at articulating. I can articulate up a storm. In this case, I'm simply being blunt, as it seems that too much articulation is in play.

Articulation leads to masturbation.

The guy thinks so much about how big of a failure he is at women and it's holding him back. Think less. So no, I'm not typing out an essay full of fluff and BS to persuade him that he's out of touch with his manhood. I'm strictly saying to get in touch with his manhood. If he wants to be cradled then he should be asking his mom why he can't get laid.

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Originally Posted by Gift of Game

get in touch with his manhood.

He's been doing that.

The goal is to get someone else to touch his manhood.

I was speaking idiomatically.

A man of adequate manhood should have no problem getting his manhood manned.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

but that's just it

we need to get his manhood womanned

FELIPE NO

I think the argument is kind of silly. There's nothing wrong with either answer that's been posted here. The important thing to remember for people and people of the opposite sex is that everyone approaches dating a bit differently. For some people they prefer the long method because maybe it takes them a long time to suss someone out or to trust them. And some people just jump right in and that works for them and the other person.

I just find it silly to argue which is right when there's no real right answer here. And certainly the generalization that all girls who give out their numbers are sluts is a bit ridiculous as well. It also depends what stage of life you are in right now too. If you're still a student, the long slow method works a little bit better because you probably have more time to do random little things every so often but when you get older and get a job I imagine this time for meandering about is lessened somewhat.

As lame as this whole answer is, my real advice is...play it by ear. Some girls move faster than other, there's not going to be one "method" that works.

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When I was a student I had more meaningless one-night stands in six months than in the rest of my life outside of university. Being a student is exactly the wrong time to pussy about holding hands and passing secret messages back and forth with girls, if only because there are going to be hundreds of blokes around like me who will swoop in, get her number and bang her that same night, leaving you alone and crying along to Linkin Park records.

Jam it back in, in the dark.