How to Chug a Beer?

I've been practicing and am really not good at this. This question is directed ONLY at people who have done it and understand how it works: I don't care if you THINK you can, if you do it right, you know it, and only those who know can help me.

Now I'm able to belch on command, and is it the same basic concept as far as opening up the trachea? I feel like I can open my throat and pour it down, but it does not go, it stops right around my windpipe entrance and doesn't push down. Any advice?

PS - I'm practicing with water until I get good at this.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hmm, I've personally never done it (so fuck your request for "experts," heh), but I know of two ways.

1. Punch a hole in the bottom of a beer can, and open the flip-top, allowing air to escape when you drink from the bottom hole.
2. Take a bendy straw, put it in the top of a beer bottle so the bent thing faces down, then drink the bottle upside down, so that air escapes out of the straw.

I think you're trying to find a biological answer to "how to drink liquids fast" though. I dunno, constantly swallow?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm not worried about the beer entering the mouth, it's the liquid going down the throat without swallowing, because you can only swallow so much at once. I know it's possible to open your throat and let it literally pour down like going down a tube, but I don't know what to feel for

I'll try that google search.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's like chugging a soda, or any other liquid. Why do you even need to ask this question? It's like asking "how do you chew meat?"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

It's pretty much rhythmic and balance of each chug.

You could have a million people tell you but you won't know until you practice and master it yourself.

How ya doing, buddy?

Becareful when jugging from a bottle. If you do it worng the suction can build up to dangerous levels so leave some space so air can escape. Jugging like anything else takes practise. You'll get there! : 3

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

No, it's not at all. There is a way to open your throat and have it act like a drain. If you have no idea what I'm alluding to here, then you obvious have nothing to contribute to the topic. It's a fair question, and I'm sure someone here has had experience with downing 12-16oz of beer in 1-2 seconds without gulping.

(This was directed at galen)

FELIPE NO

I do it with my eyes closed trying not to vomit.

Beer sucks, hard alcohol is the only thing for me.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I don't think people who chug beer do so in one motion. It's more like GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP AHHHHHHHH.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's also always easier to chug stuff that isn't ice cold, in my opinion. Let it sit for a couple minutes

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by JazzFlight

I don't think people who chug beer do so in one motion. It's more like GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP AHHHHHHHH.

Think of the old man from the Man Show: he doesn't gulp. Granted, he's obvious had years of practice and a couple liver transplants, but is there something I'm not realizing in doing this or just need to convince my throat not to chicken out on me?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You're thinking about it too hard that's your problem!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The trick is to try to breath in your throat at the same... I know it sounds bad but try swallowing immediately after you breath...

Basically, swallow before and during drinking and you'll be able to take it much quicker. My personal record for a can (without shotgunning) is 2 seconds and a beer bong is 1 second.

Also, all I can say is practice makes perfect... I mean granted my liver probably doesn't work very well anymore...

Just practice swallowing hard and alot more (as bad as that sounds)...

No really... I think I'm an alcoholic (following is on aim... b/t me and a friend -- names have been changed for safety's sake):
friend: scotty said something very true today...
me: ?
friend: were townies..
me: lol
me: we are
friend: we play harder and longer and we expect much much more
friend: college kids r pussies compared to us
friend: bu then again their livers r probaly in much better shape
friend: yeahbut fuck it
friend: i never liked my liver very much anyways

Yea...... that's the story of my life right there...

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Diversion

Think of the old man from the Man Show: he doesn't gulp. Granted, he's obvious had years of practice and a couple liver transplants, but is there something I'm not realizing in doing this or just need to convince my throat not to chicken out on me?

He just has subtle, nuanced gulpage, from the years of practice.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I do overthink, but I am not exaggerating in saying I went thrtough 80oz of water in a very short time.

If you've bonged in 1 second, then that's what I'm looking for. It's like the pour directly into the stomach "idea" is merely a throat that can take ALL of the beer? I get that, and one big fluid gulp can take it.

I guess I do have the right idea, just need to stop sucking Thanks for the quick replies.

FELIPE NO

Sucking doesn't work at all, because it contracts the muscles and doesn't allow for free beer flowage...

Most amazing jew boots

That beer bong must have been tiny if you can finish it in a second flat.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The free flowing is what I hope to achieve. The man show guy sure can do an outstanding job of downing a lot, so I don't think it's unrealistic

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by qtipk

I do it with my eyes closed trying not to vomit.

Beer sucks, hard alcohol is the only thing for me.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Just put your head back, open your throat, and pour that golden goodness straight into your stomach!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Diversion

No, it's not at all. There is a way to open your throat and have it act like a drain. If you have no idea what I'm alluding to here, then you obvious have nothing to contribute to the topic. It's a fair question, and I'm sure someone here has had experience with downing 12-16oz of beer in 1-2 seconds without gulping.

(This was directed at galen)

Okay. So a much more important question is this: Why do you want to do this so badly?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Iwata

That beer bong must have been tiny if you can finish it in a second flat.

Of course, he's only talking about one beer, right? One beer is gonna down fast.

I know I can down a beer bong pretty quickly, 3 beers in about 5 gulps, but alot of my friends can't do it. I am not really sure how you'd open your throat, because I can do it, but there is no specific way I do it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by galen

Okay. So a much more important question is this: Why do you want to do this so badly?

I didn't realize the post expressed such desperation to make it seem like I want this "badly", but so be it... for fun. People ask me why I would ever jump out of a plane and that's the same responses: I live life for experiences, and I'm going to do it.

FELIPE NO

I can take 2 beers in about 2 gulps... I mean granted I'm a big guy (not fat just big)... but I've just kinda developed the talent.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Diversion

for fun.

Your liver pays dearly now for youthful magic moments, but rock on completely with some brand new components.

Jam it back in, in the dark.