Being shy sucks, for real

Originally Posted by RainMan

Don't make mountains of mole-hills and I am sure you'll be okay.

This is easy to say, very difficult to apply.

I am shy too. Shyness in itself is not extremely bad, but, for me, it has caused other defects: inedequate social skills, procrastination(if you really want to confront a girl, you usually say, "Oh, it doesn't feel right at the moment, I'll just wait for tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Oh, damn, she is not here anymore! Next!). It also keeps people from knowing who you are. You are the person that everyone is mellow friends with, but never best friends. You get along with everyone but nothing more. Etc. Or at least it is this way for me.

What I have found is that it is all about comfort zones. It does feel pretty cozy in your little box that shyness has created, but you have got to just tear it down and go for it. Things that helped me do this: Boy's State; getting and, more importantly, losing a girlfriend; accepting invitations without a second thought (i.e. if a friend or group of friends asks you to do something, say yes immediately even if you don't feel like it).

The hardest part for me is finding something to say to start a conversation. I think this is just a learned skill that non-shy people learn subconsciously, but conversly, shy people have to make a huge effort to learn. Don't feel that you have to say something profound. I mean, it would seem impossible for a person to take a liking to someone else based soley on the opening liner...

I don't know, it is tough man. All I can say (and, of course, ^^) is it gets better with age

Joseph

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by The_Melomane

After spending a summer alone and then starting college alone, I've come to a realization that didn't even occur to me in high school; I'm incredibly shy. It wasn't much something I ever dwelt on in high school. After all, the friends I had were outgoing and I'd known most of them for years. This summer I moved to Georgia for a brief period of time, convinced that--when I wasn't working--I'd go out and have fun and meet new people. I figured this would be easy, everyone I've ever met says that I'm a great person and really easy to get along with. Well these plans came to a halt when I realized I was shy. As in terribly shy. I only talked to someone that I didn't know twice. Once, was the guy that served me coffee, I asked him how he'd recommend meeting new people and then another, I left a note on someone's table. Both ended in my shaking and in essence almost having a panic attack.

It's not that I don't want to meet new people, I do, it's just that I guess in a way I'm afraid of how people will view, or that they'll reject me before they know me. Because of this, I haven't made an effort(out of fear/shyness) in any of my classes to talk to anyone. I've become somewhat of a recluse, if you will, and I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm getting a reputation of being a bitch.

So, my question here is how do you guys get over shyness? What are some tips you have or do you even have some funny stories? You know, things like that.

You might be experiencing signs and symptoms of Social Phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder. There is help to improve your lifestyle. People with this condition will later experience depression because of the secluded life they are developing. In your next doctors visit, tell your doctor about your social life and how you are experiencing signs of social anxiety disorder and he/she will help you.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.