Russia

The disastrous reception my Russian pop upload didn't receive was the cause of some disapointment. I've now realised that I was just not communicating the idea properly. That Russian pop is a frightening and confusing idea for many, and it needs to be sold to the people at Gamingforce in an appealing way.

From now on I will be referring to pop from Russia as R-pop.

R-pop:

YouTube Video

Now you may think R-pop is all like stuff from Eurovision. This is simply not true. Only about 95% of R-pop is like Eurovision.

R-pop is mostly sung by very beautiful women. This makes pop better for every kind of reason, as everyone knows. R-pop is even better because your chance of sleeping with this kind of woman is slightly improved because they, like you white boy, are European, so you are unlikely to run into the xenophobic stumbling block that you might find with say, Japanese society. Also, westerners are surrounded by an aura of mystery in certain parts of Russia, so russian woman here would DEFINITELY want to have sex with you.


The group Blestyashchie. Or Блестящие to yield maximum results on google image search.

Oh so you think it's cool to listen to J-pop or something because you want to learn Japanese? Russian is better. Learning russian is awesome. Japanese on the other hand has been claimed by fat white nerds. Do you want to be like them? No, you want to be cool, mysterious. Learn Russian. From listening to R-pop so far I have learnt the words for 'Us', 'Together' and 'Lungs'.

Cyrillic is easy to learn. Easier than Kanji. I learnt it by translating the names of artists on the back of my CD. But that doesn't stop me feeling really clever and saying 'I can read cyrillic' to people. People who afterwards try to pretend they're less impressed by me than they actually are.

I understand that a big appeal with pop from other areas of the world is that the country itself and not just the music must have some appeal to the listener. So here are some reasons why Russia is cool:

They fought on our side in the war.
It's really big. Have you looked at a map recently? Holy shit, Russia's fucking huge!
They don't let america push them around. That's right, fuck Bush.

Oh so Japan's culture is in some way cooler because it's got video games and animation? So does Russia. When I was in Ukraine I saw some soviet animation and it blew my mind. Soviet animation has its own style. By that I mean that you can tell soviet animation is soviet animation. It was about this old woman who got on a bus and didn't want to pay for her ticket so she took a machine gun out of her old lady bag and held up the bus. When she got home it turned out she'd been out to buy her grandson some toys to play with. The accompanying music was befitting of a place where there are many listeners of Depeche Mode. Like I said. It blew my mind.

And Russia may not be famous for its video game industry, but it gave us Pathologic, which is some sort of lynchian adventure steeped in atmosphere and dated graphics. Western reviewers reacted with bafflement.



I haven't had time to play it properly yet, but on a quick play test I was already very confused before I'd even reached the character select screen. Which I'm sure is the point. Do you really want to play Final Fantasy when you know games like this exist. DO YOU?

So it's settled then. Let's listen to Russian Pop, play Russian games, watch Russian things and learn to speak Russian. We will become Russian, and not Japanese. Start here:

Novaya Kalyektsiya 51&52 - Disc 1
Novaya Kalyektsiya 51&52 - Disc 2

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Kolba

R-pop is mostly sung by very beautiful women.

But when it isn't, it's at least ten times better.

YouTube Video

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Those pretty girls are communist.

On the other note, I think this is one of the most wierdest songs i've ever heard in my life, but pretty good song.

Nice find

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

YouTube Video

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Danzing is on Novaya Kalyektsiya Disc 2. You mainstream scum.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Иди нахуй со своим мейнстримом. Сука.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I know the last word is bitch. I looked it up. I probably need to listen to some russian hip-hop to understand the rest.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by gulahi

Иди нахуй со своим мейнстримом. Сука.

«Gulahi» — это из гей-сленга что-то?

How ya doing, buddy?

С пидарасами ничего общего не имею. Просто не хватало фантазии что-то более оригинальное придумать.

Кстати, ты первый человек который решил доебнутся по-поводу ника.
*applause*

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's all about Russian Metal, really ~

YouTube Video

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I had a Russian girl living in my basement. HOT STUFF. I'm proud to be 1/8 Russian.

Kolba, your post had me rolling on the floor. And Aardark, that video is utterly hilarious.

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