From what recall you said you enjoyed our debates on religion ect. Guess I heard wrong.
It seems to me that you are in limbo, you believe and don't believe at the same time. Religion to you is acting like a little gremlin on your back, you want it gone, but it's always been there, and you can't seem to live without it. You where raised with religion, and rejecting something that is so ingrained into your head is hard to do, (The last few chapters of 1984 demonstrates this perfectly) which is why I still think religion can be a form of brainwashing.
There has never been anything 'wrong' in having a faith providing you practice what you preach for yourself, but what bugs me is there are people who are being kind for their own selfish reasons, to find favor in god and get to heaven. Morality existed before religion did, which is why I will continue to disagree with the phrase "I am a good person because of religion"
I can understand the appeal of heaven, we all want to keep going after we die, but realistically... I don't think there is anything, which is why I am not going to waste my life praying, living in guilt, and reading on how god judges me. Chances are this life is all I got, so I am going to live it to the fullest.
If 'faith' or 'god' gets you though the day, fine, but I still say that you are not a catholic, you're way to0 liberal
Jam it back in, in the dark.