Chuck Norris Roundhouse...

In case, you guys don't know but there is http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html

This place is full of little known facts about the great and mighty chuck norris.

Here are some of my Fav. ones.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.

The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.


Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Oh yes, the Chuck Norris facts. I would think I would be sick of them by now, but honestly, I'm not. Right now though, I'm just not in the mood for them though I will be once school GTFO. My favorite one was:

Once, a bear tried to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris showed it his fist, and the bear promptly began to eat itself because it would be an easier way to die.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I personally really like the home depot one because i just recently started working over there, so it touches close to home on that one.

How ya doing, buddy?

HAHAHHAAHA, it's funny that he thinks that for some godforsaken reason funny one liner about him are going to promote book sales but I do like the fact that at least he doesn't get pissed off about it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Enough said.

I was speaking idiomatically.

What's up with Chuck Norris? And who the hell is he anyway? (someone fill me in by not insulting me -.-)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Taegueki

What's up with Chuck Norris? And who the hell is he anyway? (someone fill me in by not insulting me -.-)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_norris

Should fill you in.

I found out about this site not too long ago. It was hilarious when I first saw it but it has since worn off on me.

FELIPE NO

Is he THAT strong?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

lol, Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door man.....

He's a genius too.....Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

He knows the last digits of PI~.... now that awesome to say the least... so that way he doesn't roundhouse kicks me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ah, here's my favorite:

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I thought this one is pretty good:

Originally Posted by Chuck Norris Fact

• The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.

And most of the other roundhouse kick jokes are really, really, really lame. Like the ones about how he "roundhouse kicks" "loved" ones.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Soldier don't look, advent children spoiler, and I am being serious.:

Hmm, where did I found this? I dont' remember whoes journal I ripped off this from. ;_; Or it could be 4chan.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by magi

Soldier don't look, advent children spoiler, and I am being serious.:

Hmm, where did I found this? I dont' remember whoes journal I ripped off this from. ;_; Or it could be 4chan.

Holy crap, that is an awesome GIF.

Unfortunately however the rest of this Chuck Norris stuff is starting to get kind of annoying. Although there are some pretty good ones, I remember one being Chuck Norris went back in time to save JFK by deflecting Oswald's bullet with just his beard. The feat was so awesome it made JFK's head explode.

Or something along those lines.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Mojougwe

And most of the other roundhouse kick jokes are really, really, really lame. Like the ones about how he "roundhouse kicks" "loved" ones.

You think this is a joke? I'm surprised Chuck Norris hasn't roundhouse kicked your face off yet. These are facts, yo.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by magi

Soldier don't look, advent children spoiler, and I am being serious.:

Hmm, where did I found this? I dont' remember whoes journal I ripped off this from. ;_; Or it could be 4chan.

Wow, Chuck Norris with an AWP? Jeez....

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

If you can see Chuck Norris HE CAN SEE YOU.
If you cannot see Chuck Norris you may be seconds away from death.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by nazpyro

You think this is a joke? I'm surprised Chuck Norris hasn't roundhouse kicked your face off yet. These are facts, yo.

I'll be sure to stand next to you so his roundhouse kick bounces off me and finds its way to you. Chuck don't get enough satisfaction kicking 1 person when he can go for 2.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Sorry. I was living under a rock for half a year, but what's with the Chuck Norris jokes all of sudden popping up everywhere?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.