HEY ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD

I hate people who get way too worked up over the things people do on the road. Are you all really in that big of a hurry to get wherever it is you're going? Just step back and relax for a second. You'll feel much better for it.

I drive fast, but if there's someone in my way doing something wrong I don't get upset. I turn some good music on, and I enjoy the drive.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by SouthJag

Also, drivers who are not just scared, but cowardly when driving in the rain. I can understand being scared in torrential downpours, but light sprinkles that even Marry Poppins can still appreciate? Just drive, you fucking twits.

Driving in a light sprinkle is actually just as dangerous sometimes as driving in a flooding downpour.

If it's been a while since it rained, especially, the sprinkling water is enough to slick up all the oils and other slick chemicals in the road, but not enough to wash them away. This makes for a very slippery drive if you try and treat it like it's nothing. I know from experience.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I hate people who don't turn on their headlights when it starts raining. As a rule, if your wipers are going you turn on your headlights. Some cars are really hard to see when it's pouring, and these geniuses aren't making it any better by driving blind.

I'm cool with people who drive particularly slowly (given that they're in the right hand lane and all that), but I really hate moving to pass someone who's going really slow and discovering that the reason they're moving so slow is because they're on the phone.

Haven't had too many experiences with tailgaters or really reckless drivers, so I'm pretty lucky in that regard.

I was speaking idiomatically.

That's because you're too much of a wuss to go on the freeways.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Americans driving in Canada. Not all Americans, mind you. Some of you northerners are okay. But my god. I see a Cali plate and there's a half inch of snow on the ground, I know we're going to be driving 10 mph and looking panicked while people zip past us. Always funny.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Capo

I hate people who get way too worked up over the things people do on the road. Are you all really in that big of a hurry to get wherever it is you're going? Just step back and relax for a second. You'll feel much better for it.

I drive fast, but if there's someone in my way doing something wrong I don't get upset. I turn some good music on, and I enjoy the drive.

I'm hella relaxed, this is just my baseline behavior.

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Americans driving in Canada.

The one time I drove in Canada it was horrible. it was in Winsor, which is a lot more pedestrian than Detroit is, and as I recall there were a number of one-way streets. I was hitting my brakes as I notice some schmoe walk across the road, suddenly noticing no-turn signs almost before I turn, doing the slow way down and squint at the street signs newbie action, the whole nine yards. I'm sure I made many people RAGE that day.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Capo

I hate people who get way too worked up over the things people do on the road. Are you all really in that big of a hurry to get wherever it is you're going? Just step back and relax for a second. You'll feel much better for it.

I don't like to spend more time on the road with idiots than necessary, that's what.

The more time I spend with ASSHOLES on the road, the more likely I am to get hit by one of them.

Thus, I minimize my time on the road. I'm not out there to go Sunday driving. If I'm driving, I expect I'm trying to get somewhere. A to B, as efficiently as possible. I really dislike the attitude that you should spend ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD on the road. I've really got better things to be doing, honestly.

Deni, we drove with no trouble through that fuck-fest of a snow storm you guys had in Montreal in March. I ENJOYED how the Canadians weren't phased too much by the snow. It's REFRESHING. (Most Canadians seemed to drive well enough to not solicit road rage from me.)

And Anazai, I assure you, I am a very safe driver. You just close your eyes.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Americans driving in Canada. Not all Americans, mind you. Some of you northerners are okay. But my god. I see a Cali plate and there's a half inch of snow on the ground, I know we're going to be driving 10 mph and looking panicked while people zip past us. Always funny.

Irony. We Buffalonians gripe about the Canadians coming down to do their shopping and clogging up the roads with their rubbernecking. The only thing that slows us down in Ontario is that sometimes we come across dual-language signs. I know French, so I'm not really phased by that, but the Asian languages can be distracting. I've seen several different styles, which I can only assume to be both Chinese and Korean. But this has been largely within Toronto. Outside of the city, it's all francophone nonsense.

That must be it: in Buffalo, our signs are English-only. The Canadians are confused by the clarity.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

That's because you're too much of a wuss to go on the freeways.

But all my examples were from people on the freeways

Not my fault my car is extremely temperamental. You see, I can't get mad at the people who just drive slow because sometimes, that's me (cuz of the car).

How ya doing, buddy?

Yeah, Sass, that's why I said southerners. Specifically Cali. Most northerners know how to drive just fine in the snow.

Also, man, that storm was great. My condo is a half-basement. Had to dig out my door. Like. 3 feet of snow piled up on it.

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Megalith

Tailgating, because there's really no reason for it. Yes, I drive one of the best looking cars on the road, and you are jealous, I get it. You can pass.

That's a great impression. It's z-mode approved. Please follow his lead, leave forever, and stop cluttering up perfectly fine forums with your fucking jag off idiocy.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Megalith

Tailgating, because there's really no reason for it. Yes, I drive one of the best looking cars on the road, and you are jealous, I get it. You can pass.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

And Anazai, I assure you, I am a very safe driver. You just close your eyes.

Ok.

Another thing. Driving with my husband is terrifying at times, one of my biggest pet peeves with him is when he stops at a red light within 1 inch of the other cars bumper. That's quite heart racing because it looks like he's not going to stop and then he does so at the last moment.

Oh, and when you are sitting at a red light and people keep moving forward and braking, moving and braking, moving and braking, like that is going to make the light turn green any faster and the stupid people behind those fucktards do the same thing...erg!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

All of the following types of motorist are retards and should be harmed with blunt weapons:

1: Anyone who spies an oncoming red light and attempts to conserve inertia by never actually stopping but instead slowing down at 200 yards away, then slowly creeping up on the light, dragging the last fifty yards out forever at a whopping 3 mph.

2: Any nimrod who recklessly cuts through a gas station to avoid a red light.

3: People who urgently blaze by you on a two-lane highway, only to immediately move one car length in front of you, then maintain the exact posted speed limit the rest of the way - just because they had to be first.

4: Old people for whom 90% of the windshield is wasted because they insist upon driving by staring through the gaps in the steering wheel.

5: People who illogically conclude that, because most parking lots are private property, the laws of traffic conveniently vanish and that pedestrians only have themselves to blame.

6: People who dangerously surge out of driveways and parking lots, practically cutting you off, then refuse to make a legal right-on-red because it's obviously too much of a moral dilemma.

7: Anyone who parks diagonally across two spaces because, God help them, nothing shall ever touch their precious, precious Pontiac.

8: People who willfully torture a "captive audience" at a crowded red light by blasting their horrible preference in music at levels that rival commercial jet engines.

9: Anyone who notices a cop with a pulled-over motorist and immediately "plays it safe" by travelling at least fifteen miles below the posted limit, as though it's an elaborate ploy and the real troopers are hiding behind the next building.

10: Anyone who remains at a stop sign in the middle of fucking nowhere for more than three seconds.

11: Anyone with handicapped plates and a "No Fear" sticker in the rear windshield.

How ya doing, buddy?

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Oh, and when you are sitting at a red light and people keep moving forward and braking, moving and braking, moving and braking, like that is going to make the light turn green any faster and the stupid people behind those fucktards do the same thing...erg!

A related occurrence is when people are so wired up and eager to go that they accidentally slam down the accelerator only to brake hard immediately when the left turn arrow comes on, because they saw the green color out of the corner of their eye and thought it was their turn to go, only to find that their light is still red. Then they begin moving forward and braking...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

6.) Women: Don't drive SUVs and talk on your phone at the same time. I'll rip your throats out.

Fucking god. Some lady on her cellphone, driving her fat ass expedition decided to hit me, while she was backing out in the fucking PARKING lot. I honked for a good fucking straight 5 seconds. She stopped a second, and I thought "Thank god, she heard". But fucking Noooooooo, she still fucking backs out and fucking hits me, because of her god damn CELLPHONE. What the HELL?! Hope you fucking burn in HELL. But I got money from the dumb bitch. And Yes, I thought about backing up, but there was another car behind me, which is good since I had a witness.

And Three weeks later, some stupid dumb ass, decided to rear-end me. And surprise, the fucker was on his cell phone (and couldn't speak an ounce of english). Fucking assholes, if you can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, don't fucking drive and use cellphones. Just do one thing at a time if you're too retarded. Fucking two accidents, caused by cellphone wielding idiots. God damnit.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

1: Anyone who spies an oncoming red light and attempts to conserve inertia by never actually stopping but instead slowing down at 200 yards away, then slowly creeping up on the light, dragging the last fifty yards out forever at a whopping 3 mph.

I might've misunderstood the scenario you're describing, but I think that's called engine braking and it's actually very energy-conserving. It reduces wear on brakes and you know, saves up on alot of fuel. And yes, braking does consume fuel - lots of it. If you have a fuel monitor installed in your car you can see how the consumption increases during acceleration and braking.

Anyway, I'll just chip in and say - old people. Get off the road. You can't drive for shit, you can't see shit, you don't signal, you never position the car properly and then almost ram me off the road every single time you finally decide where you want to go. That, and you always drive like 20kph below the limit.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sakabadger

I'm cool with people who drive particularly slowly (given that they're in the right hand lane and all that), but I really hate moving to pass someone who's going really slow and discovering that the reason they're moving so slow is because they're on the phone.

What, you'd rather have them going fast and dangerous? As long as they get in the right-hand lane, slowing down is admitting that their facilities are reduced and I can respect that. I'm more terrified of the SUVs that pass me at 85 while on their cell phone.

Crash - slowing down to conserve momentum not only conserves a LOT of gas, for those of us with manual transmissions it saves a pile of wear on the clutch too, and those things aren't cheap. I won't be changing my habits any time soon.

Also, Killy, engine braking is downshifting to slow down, and it doesn't save gas, it burns it. What Crash is describing is simply slowing down a bit and taking your foot off the gas to ensure that when the light turns green you're still rolling and you don't have to do a full start from stopped again.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Also, Killy, engine braking is downshifting to slow down, and it doesn't save gas, it burns it. What Crash is describing is simply slowing down a bit and taking your foot off the gas to ensure that when the light turns green you're still rolling and you don't have to do a full start from stopped again.

Ah, I was referring to the very same thing - I thought it was called engine braking. Is there another word for it?

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by DarkMageOzzie

Oh god, how did I forget this one? The worst I had was a couple weeks ago at night when it was really foggy. Idiots all had their brights on which actually makes it harder to see. So in the fog I got idiots with their brights on tailgating me and since their brights are shining past me, I can't see. So I'm just thinking "Hurry up and pass me already asshole so I can go back to being able to see."

Once again proof that people really weren't paying attention when they learned to drive or didn't read the manual.....Don't put high beams on in fog and snow. It impairs vision--not enhances it....

My pet peeves:

1) Use the turn signal, jackass. (#1 pet peeve)

2) Yes, there are two rivers in this town. Stop driving slowly to stare at them.

3) Hey, it's great that you have friends, but call them when you get home, don't talk to each other while in your cars, blocking traffic.

4) Do you see a stop sign? No? Then go, for God's sake! It's a two-way stop, not a four-way.

5) You don't need to wait for a green-arrow to make a left-hand turn, dumbass. You CAN turn when you have a solid light and no one's coming.

6) Blinking red lights=stop. Blinking yellow=go. NOT the reverse....

Most amazing jew boots

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4) Do you see a stop sign? No? Then go, for God's sake! It's a two-way stop, not a four-way.

Not sure if you drive in as much of what could be considered backwoodsy areas as I did while living at home, but I would always slow down around roads where there was only a two way stop. We've had tons of accidents where people either blow through the 2-way stop (whey they were supposed to be the ones stopping), or they didn't see the oncoming car due to the way many intersections are laid out. I won't come to a stop, but I'll coast down to a bit under the speed limit (normally ~45mph) so I can react if I see someone's going to run it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

RR--This is the middle of town, a T-intersection. These people stop when they have right of way.

FELIPE NO

Quote:

Oh, and when you are sitting at a red light and people keep moving forward and braking, moving and braking, moving and braking, like that is going to make the light turn green any faster and the stupid people behind those fucktards do the same thing...erg!

Yes, this one! I never really noticed it before I bought a hybrid, but my car shuts the engine off automatically to conserve gas when it comes to a complete stop. If the moron in front of me inches forward, then I have to go forward too, or else the people behind me will be pissed off; however, I have to get up to a certain speed for the engine to shut down again, so 9 times out of 10 I'm wasting gas because people can't learn to stop in the right place to begin with.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Nutty et al, more often than not I'm moving forward because the guy behind me is right on my ass and it's making me uncomfortable. Ie, suppose someone rear ends him, and because he's practically bumper to bumper, he rolls forward and rear ends me.

Other scenarios include, I've stopped but the guy behind me is approaching uncomfortably fast. And also inching forward because you see the opposite lights going yellow, in preparation for yours going green. Some larger intersections it's entirely possible to guess wrong and have some other light turn green instead of yours.

Finally, if the guy in front of you inches forward, you don't have to. You can sit right where you are, and people behind you can deal.

What pisses me off about traffic lights are the douche bags that either take awhile to start moving again, or accelerate way too slowly. Traffic lights can be great places to get around the slow fuck in the left lane that's been holding you up for 6 miles, provided you don't have a slow fuck in the right lane who's going to take his time pulling out of a traffic light.

Ditto for toll booths. Get through one quick enough and you've got a painless merge. Get some douche in front of you who thinks the 5mph sign actually means something, and you'll have hell avoiding the rest of everybody who's going faster than you.

And also Crash's mention of bumper stickers needs another mention here too. Christian bumper stickers are annoying as all fuck. Especially when the person driving them is going slow. It's bad enough I have to sit behind your fat ass, being unable to see any kind of traffic ahead because you're huge but on top of that, I have to read your tacky shit about how Jesus saves.

I'd say even worse are the deliberately crass ones, because I can't understand what possible motivation there is to use them. "I like to fart?" The kind of person that thinks he should advertise that is the kind of person with whom I don't want to share my planet.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Radez29

Ie, suppose someone rear ends him, and because he's practically bumper to bumper, he rolls forward and rear ends me.

Ain't your fault. Fucker's insurance pays for your repairs. Dumbfuck people make dumbfuck mistakes and you should take your money from the dumbfuck insurance company what were... dumbfuck enough to ensure them in the first place.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If you have a deductible of X many dollars, wouldn't you still have to cover that amount?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.