tl;dr

Yes. I don't particularly feel the need to get laid, especially not just for the fuck of it. I don't think I need to get it out of the way, if that's what you're implying.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Oh, and her saying she's not wanting to be involved with anyone could EASILY be bullshit. Could be her way of letting you down easy. (It's another way of saying "It's not you; it's me.")

Fuck her. She's not into you. I'm 99.99% sure that the reason she's not is because you're obsessive.

You need to get laid, A LOT. When you're counting how many hours you hung out, you're too fucking uptight. I mean, when most people hang out, they're carefree and don't really pay attention to how long they've been do what activity/activities they were doing.

Some ass should break that habit. (At least for a little while.)

You don't need to "get it out of the way". You need to get it into your life.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I seriously doubt that getting laid is the answer for our friend. Imagine how obsessed he'd be with that one! Dopefish needs to learn to love himself and his life - with or without a girlfriend or alcohol or weed. When he does that, all the pieces will fall into place.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Can't love my own life if I'm not happy with it. But saying that is going to bring things that have already been said.

I don't think I'd want to have meaningless, casual sex, ever.

How ya doing, buddy?

As cliche as it is, "happiness is a state of mind".

What good things do you have going for you?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Dopefish needs to learn to love himself and his life - with or without a girlfriend or alcohol or weed. When he does that, all the pieces will fall into place.

Very sound advice!

There won't be any noticable change in your life externally, Dopefish, until you try to evolve internally first. Spend some time finding out what genuinely makes you happy and not what may make you happy.

Think about your past, your ambitions, and anything that makes you you. Once you're comfortable with yourself, with the good AND the bad, many of your problems will fade away.

Have you ever just stood infront of a mirror staring at yourself, searching for a spark in your own eyes? I recommend you try it and don't stop until you find something other than disdain looking back at you.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Good things about me and my life:

• I'm economically stable. (I live at home, but I could probably live by myself.)
• I'm happy that I have been able to not drink for as long as I have. The longer I go the prouder I am that I haven't drank, though that may be related to how social I'm not.
• I'm happy to be atheist and politically independant.
• I'm happy I'm not an idiot and I want to go to school.
• I'm happy people like me, even if it's just because I'm nice to everyone.
• I'm happy I'm not an asshole.

I think that's it...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The first, beaming thing I'd suggest is that you move out on your own.

This will allow you to grow in many ways.

Going to school (college, I assume) is another great idea.

Getting a hobby or taking up a sport would be another good idea.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Good things about me and my life:

• I'm economically stable. (I live at home, but I could probably live by myself.)
• I'm happy that I have been able to not drink for as long as I have. The longer I go the prouder I am that I haven't drank, though that may be related to how social I'm not.
• I'm happy to be atheist and politically independant.
• I'm happy I'm not an idiot and I want to go to school.
• I'm happy people like me, even if it's just because I'm nice to everyone.
• I'm happy I'm not an asshole.

I think that's it...

You sound like you have a lot going for you. I think if you can somehow manage to loosen up a little, you're going to be fine. =)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Negatives:

• As mentioned, I can't seem to have more than one very good friend at a time, though I have had none.
• Socializing with women...with anyone, but specifically women...isn't a difficulty. Stepping past the "friendly acquaintance" stage and into something else is...something else.
• I'm obviously not too outgoing. I'm not shy, I'm not introverted...but I can't find a level to connect with most my peers on.
• I'm generally not like most guys my age in many ways. This is one thing that's both good and bad.

I'm not sure if that's it or I'm just being generous or if I can't be bothered to elaborate.

Double Post:
BTW, I'm both surprised and not that no one has asked what "tl;dr" means.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

You're right. This is a really, really good way to tell if someone is interested in you for either friendship or a romantic relationship. Someone who doesn't return your calls is sending you a message. If she isn't calling you back, move on.

Just curious, but what does that have to do with anything?

I'z just curious.

... By the way, if you're not introverted or shy ... I don't understand what your problem is. I thought that was your problem all along.

OH! Maybe your problem is you don't HAVE a problem!! Ever think of that!!? Jeezuz, man.

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OK maybe I am somewhat introverted but I'm not shy.

Either way, I would think I do have a problem, as most people are capable of making friends.

FELIPE NO

Or your problems is yourself and the only person that can fix it is you. The worst thing you can do is try to make yourself feel victimized here.

And happiness is completely a state of mind. I know I could be completely miserable about 99% of the time if I hadn't taught myself how to be happy no matter how crappy things are..

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I can see how the problem could be myself when it comes to women but not to guys.

Is it too obvious that what I really want is a relationship?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Pah you don't need a "relationship," that is so typical.

Get close friends, those are more ideal than "relationships"

Relationships only make your life feel like a living hell. Is that what you want? Just to raise hell for yourself?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Boy we've got a lot of jilted people on this board, don't we?

I'd like to be in love for once, not just infatuated with someone. Making close friends is all well and good but I'd like to go through the motions of a relationship just to have it happen.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by eks

You need to get laid, A LOT. When you're counting how many hours you hung out, you're too fucking uptight. I mean, when most people hang out, they're carefree and don't really pay attention to how long they've been do what activity/activities they were doing.

Some ass should break that habit. (At least for a little while.)

You don't need to "get it out of the way". You need to get it into your life.

Funny thing. I've heard this a few times in conversations with people, but they never go on further, as in HOW one gets "laid. A LOT.". Just an observance.

As for your situation. MOVE ON, OR KISS HER. If all else fails... try going to a single's bar... after all, people there are there for generally the same thing: Drinks and Meeting New People.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Boy we've got a lot of jilted people on this board, don't we?

I'd like to be in love for once, not just infatuated with someone. Making close friends is all well and good but I'd like to go through the motions of a relationship just to have it happen.

Love is such a fickle word, clearly misused and abused by our era. Love requires a mutual acceptance of both sides. Clearly love can never be gained (but infatuation easily) if the other side has no interest. If the other side has no interest in you, no matter how hard you try...you will never be able to procure this acceptance. Rather you would make the current relationship (friendship or whatever) worse.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by valiant

Love is such a fickle word, clearly misused and abused by our era. Love requires a mutual acceptance of both sides. Clearly love can never be gained (but infatuation easily) if the other side has no interest. If the other side has no interest in you, no matter how hard you try...you will never be able to procure this acceptance. Rather you would make the current relationship (friendship or whatever) worse.

Sounds about right. I'm 2-for-2 on proving that. :dotdotdot:

Originally Posted by Dark Nation

As for your situation. MOVE ON, OR KISS HER.

That was an idea (kissing her; moving on is still in the planning stages ), but that's one time I know I wouldn't be happy with the result.

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Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Boy we've got a lot of jilted people on this board, don't we?

Not really.

Quote:

I'd like to be in love for once, not just infatuated with someone. Making close friends is all well and good but I'd like to go through the motions of a relationship just to have it happen.

You want, you want, you want. So go and get it. RR said what I've been saying to you all along - the only person who can fix this is you.

And you keep making excuses for yourself.
"Go out and find a hobby."
- But I don't have any interests!
"Go to school."
- But GOD, school? *Albeit, you said you're looking into it. I have no idea how serious you are about it, though. =/
"Make some new friends."
- But HOW?

These are things you should answer on your own. You're tying your own hands, and you're thinking too much about this shit. It's pretty clear that you DON'T seem like a very social animal. I can tell you the majority of the people on this board probably have little difficulty going out, talking to people, and making friends. I am not saying that you're WRONG AND BAD - I am saying you are probably overthinking shit WAY TOO MUCH.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

I'd like to be in love for once, not just infatuated with someone. Making close friends is all well and good but I'd like to go through the motions of a relationship just to have it happen.

Something to keep in mind... one cannot love another unless you first love yourself. If this were the sewers then that comment would be taken the wrong way... but here it's a simple phrase.
You clearly are not completely comfortable with where you are in life and have difficulty even making friends. Why try taking that huge leap into an intimate relationship with another person when you can't really have a casual relationship with others? It makes no sense to me...

And while you'd like to be in love and experience the highs and lows of being in love... don't force it. You want it but the harder you try to attain it the less likely you are going to find it. You've heard the saying right? Once you stop looking it will fall right in your lap, but while you are seeking love it will never be found.
Relax and let it come to you... otherwise you're going to turn into one of those weird creepy guys we all hear about on the local evening news who are wanted in connection with some bizarre sex crime that involves dustpans and nail polish...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

How is it that I'm thinking too much about what hobby to take up or how to meet people? That's probably not what you mean, but not thinking about it at all would just mean accepting that this is what my life is going to be like at this time, which I'm obviously not willing to do.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

These are things you should answer on your own.

Haven't we all concluded that it's obvious I can't? For whatever reason -- I don't have the mental capacity, I can't think outside the box (are those the same? ), I don't have prior experiences to draw upon -- I can't come with an answer for my problems aside from going to school, which I seriously didn't want to go to for another reason other than to learn and not fuck up. College is a lot of money -- money I don't own and will be owing, whether I like it or not -- and if I'm not going with the focus being to become smarter (or with even a 50-50 focus) then all the self-applied pressure to do well AND meet people will (hopefully not but could) make me regret that effort. And I'd like not to leave school if all I have to show for it is just some new friends and a couple months of education.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Niekon

And while you'd like to be in love and experience the highs and lows of being in love... don't force it. You want it but the harder you try to attain it the less likely you are going to find it. You've heard the saying right? Once you stop looking it will fall right in your lap, but while you are seeking love it will never be found.

I wasn't looking for 21 years. Either I missed the chance or one never presented itself...both are equally likely.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Haven't we all concluded that it's obvious I can't? For whatever reason -- I don't have the mental capacity, I can't think outside the box (are those the same? ), I don't have prior experiences to draw upon -- I can't come with an answer for my problems aside from going to school, which I seriously didn't want to go to for another reason other than to learn and not fuck up. College is a lot of money -- money I don't own and will be owing, whether I like it or not -- and if I'm not going with the focus being to become smarter (or with even a 50-50 focus) then all the self-applied pressure to do well AND meet people will (hopefully not but could) make me regret that effort. And I'd like not to leave school if all I have to show for it is just some new friends and a couple months of education.

How can WE help YOU become more goddamned INVOLVED in life, then?

We can't. And that was both RR and my point.

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So I guess the answer is just sit back, relax, and just go with the flow, because it's pretty obvious I can't do anything for myself.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

So I guess the answer is just sit back, relax, and just go with the flow, because it's pretty obvious I can't do anything for myself.

You said it, not me.

The answer is: HELP YOURSELF. No one can do it for you.

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