Life is going in circles - resetting it very self.

Hello fellow Gamingforce Members,

I've been off and on Gamingforce for some time, decided to come back because I get high quality advice in here.

I'm facing a severe problem which started in my teens and is now slowly taking its toll.
---

I can't finish what i'm starting. Once I had the great idea to be a programmer and do lots of programmes and fancy stuff. Time flew by. I got sick of the idea and dropped it.

I compare myself alot with other people around me and find them better/cooler/smarter/etc than me. It's basically the default teenage feelings I still got. And I'm in my 23. You might want to laugh about my poor english skills.

I'm running in circles, I don't feel like I come forward. Don't be mistaken, I'm not entirely unhappy with my life. But I tend to drop into a big black hole of despair every 1-2 weeks. Actually, i just dropped into one 3 hours ago, realising that i'm more and more turning into a loner.

You might say: Hey why dont you go outside and meet friends?
There ain't a single one left. My best friend committed suicide, my other friend turned into a complete geek. (Don't ask)

Making new friends is hard for me, as I feel like an outsider everywhere I go. People talk, then I think they talk about me. I've come to a point where I hate myself and would happily jump in front of a train, but then I see people who I really admire.

I want to be like them and partially copy their personality, which then translates into huge belly pain because I get all sick and confused who I really am.

I can't find my spot in this big big world. So Gamingforce please tell me. What can I do to become stronger/smarter/better and feel less outsiderish and more like I really am somebody.

At the moment, I feel hollow, sad and cold. I blame the world. I blame everyone else. But I never blame myself. That could be a part of the problem as well. I cover myself in Untruth to make Living in this World easier for me. I lie alot, I lie to myself, to strangers, to my parents. I'm engulfed in Lies.

What's wrong, whats right? Sometimes I think, I wasn't meant to be born after all.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Set yourself smaller, more achieveable goals. Saying "I want to be a top programmer" is a hell of a goal to reach and failing to do so will make you more depressed. Saying that you want to learn to do a bit of programming in a specific language is far more achieveable and once you manage that you'll feel better about yourself.

Even if you've completely given up on the programming, try to think of something you would like to achieve and focus on that. Even if it's something dead simple, once you manage to so that you'll start to feel better about yourself almost immediately.

People rarely achieve everything they set out to in life so it's important to remain flexible and reassess where you want to be going from time to time. The worst thing to do is compare yourself to your perceptions of other people as you never really know what their lives are like. All the cool people you see are probably hollow and empty inside and tired out from spending all their lives concentrating on their image and not happy at all.

Small steps is always the way forward.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I define personal achievement as a process of instances of becoming. I set a goal for myself. I ask myself if I the have talent, skills, knowledge and education to achieve that goal. If I do, I select the way that fits best with my beliefs about myself and the world. If I do not, I ask myself if I can become a person who can acquire the necessary talent, skills, knowledge, and education to achieve the goal I have set for myself.

If I can become that person, I select the means of acquiring the necessary talent, skills, knowledge and education that fits best with my beliefs about myself and the world. If I cannot become that person, I ask myself what would be required to become that person. This kind of thinking goes on until I have formed a blueprint of the person I would need to become in order to achieve the goal I have set for myself. This blueprint is formed with the understanding that I am capable of improving over time and that I will improve as long I maintain the effort it takes to improve.

This way of thinking does not require that I compare myself to anybody else. This mindset and the effort required is no one's responsibility but mine. If you feel you don't have a place in the world, it is your responsibility to make it.

Most amazing jew boots

I know becoming the best there ever was is very trying. I had a friend named Ash who felt worthless and like his dreams were unachievable. He took it a step at a time and he succeeded! Go for it like Ash did.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by WUARGH

I've been off and on Gamingforce for some time, decided to come back because I get high quality advice in here.

I can't find my spot in this big big world. So Gamingforce please tell me. What can I do to become stronger/smarter/better and feel less outsiderish and more like I really am somebody.

What's wrong, whats right? Sometimes I think, I wasn't meant to be born after all.

Set yourself smaller, more achievable goals such as:
Turning off your computer
Taking a shower
Dressing yourself

And that's quality advice, folks.

Most amazing jew boots

My advice:

1. Smile at and greet everyone you meet.

   You will be amazed how far something so simple will get you in this world.

2. Find some hobby or interest you have and look for other people with that interest.

   It is easier to talk about and find common ground with people who share you own interests. There are ALL SORTS of clubs out there, and there are bound to be other people just like you that share your interests.

3. Start a new (or pick up an old) hobby or sport.

   Ever wanted to sing, play the piano, or pick up tennis/bowling/etc...? Many clubs and recreational leagues are filled beginners or people just wanting to socialize. I've personally found running to be my particular niche and love going to local running clubs and participating in races. Tennis, volleyball, and bowling are usually good sports for socializing as well though, and many host mixers and socializing events on a regular basis.

4. DO NOT compare yourself to other people.

   I want to be more like ... I wish I was .... or similar thoughts aren't really helpful thinking. Be YOURSELF and try to find pride in your individual traits that make you unique. This is the key to happiness and to making other people like you.

5. View yourself how you would like others to view you.

   Usually if you go around with a negative attitude all the time other people will pick up on it and it is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. Luckily though the same holds true for positive thinking. If you always maintain a positive attitude about yourself and the world (fake it until it becomes second nature) other people will be drawn to that quality in you.

6. Start each day with a positive encouraging pep talk.

   Even if this sounds really lame just try it for a while and see if it makes your world a little brighter of a place to live in.
   

Best of luck with your situation... I went though a rather dark time myself when I was starting college, but I can attest that if you stick it out and try to maintain a positive attitude things will take a turn for the better.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?