I need to do something.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I'm not calling a third party because I feel hurt. Thats fucking retarded. I'll take care of my own business in time - I am just ANGSTING (appropriately in here) about how I feel backstabbed.

You feel hurt bause you've been treated unfairly, correct? Soooo... this is more than about feelings. I'd be pissed, and I'm not related to the boss.

I don't see why she should get your commissions anymore than she should get your work, either. If YOU worked for them, YOU deserve the benefits of YOUR work. Point blank.

(Fuck, Alice already said that. :/)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Did you miss the part about school? ;_;

I didn't miss it, but you do realize that the vast majority of people don't get their educations paid for through their jobs, right? I mean, some people do, but my point is that there are ways around it. Student loans, scholarships, etc. People do it all the time. Plus, if you let them pay for your education you're just going to feel more indebted to them and might feel pressured to stay at a job that could possibly get more and more frustrating if she is successful in getting her claws deeper into your dad.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Actually, a lot of companies will pay for college. Undergrad as well as grad. Mine does. You just have to convince them that it's worth it. But you could bring that up during the interview.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I didn't miss it, but you do realize that the vast majority of people don't get their educations paid for through their jobs, right? I mean, some people do, but my point is that there are ways around it. Student loans, scholarships, etc. People do it all the time. Plus, if you let them pay for your education you're just going to feel more indebted to them and might feel pressured to stay at a job that could possibly get more and more frustrating if she is successful in getting her claws deeper into your dad.

I am not putting myself in debt, and not playing that bullshit college game. The reason I even agreed to go back to college was because it was an all-expense-paid-trip to Degree Land.

I think the negative personal emotions at this point are not enough for me to give up what I am doing. I can't "give up" on everything in life, you know? Not everything is a walk in the park. I will get what I need. Once I have nothing to lose in leaving, I will leave. If it comes to that.

Besides. I am struggling with the EMOTIONAL part of this, you know? The workplace and the politics are just that - workplace politics. It's just that my father slapped me in the face with his bitch again. Probably UNINTENTIONALLY, but even then. He should know better.

And Eks, yea, I am more personally, emotionally hurt by it than I am about some woman taking my work. In most cases, I'm thrilled to have someone take work off of my desk for me.

I just don't like it when it goes to someone like her.

Minion, your company paid for your education? Did you WORK for them while you were in school? How does that work? You need to tell me so I can consider it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

They didn't pay for undergrad, but I know they do. Check around. I'm sure other companies will.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well, the military does it (undergrad, that is). So do many hospitals if you're interested in a nursing degree, and most states offer grants for would-be teachers. I didn't say that it wasn't done, I just think it's not all that common for a company or organization to pay for a person's education.

How ya doing, buddy?

There ya go, Sass. Join the military. =D

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Well, the military does it (undergrad, that is).

Ahahahha. ha. ha. HA. NO.

No offense, of course. But you know how I feel about the military. Buying men like they were apples for sale.

Quote:

So do many hospitals if you're interested in a nursing degree, and most states offer grants for would-be teachers.

Nursing is completely and utterly out of my range of interest, frankly. But originally, when I first went to college years ago (and eventually left), I was going for a degree in education with a minor in mathematics. ^_^

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I didn't say that it wasn't done, I just think it's not all that common for a company or organization to pay for a person's education.

Thats why CARPE DIEM, Alice! You see an opportunity - TAKE IT!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

How realistic is the option of quitting? Considering that you don't really wanna do loans for schooling, you'd pretty much have to secure a gig at some company that'll pay for it like Alice mentioned. Also, how,do you think, that would effect your relationship with your dad? Would he understand or take it personally? If these two matters are taken care of, then maybe you should just work someplace else. Even if you do enjoy working with your family, it's just really tough just cause when situations like these occur, the general unpleasant attitude of everyone and intesity are always ampliphied just cause it's family. Things are taken a lot more personally.

Also, I don't suppose talking with this Cheryl person in attempt to settle the matter is an option?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I can see your situation Sass, but I truly think it comes down to you being reluctant to take the necessary but extremely painful steps to resolve this. You have to realize that it's going to hurt no matter what you do, so there is nothing to be gained by letting things remain as is.

Essentially, you have two options: quit, or declare open war on Cheryl. By that I mean active, out-in-the-open sabotage. You're going to have a break down if you're forced to tolerate this woman any longer, so you have to force your dad's hand - it's her or you. Harass and undermine her, to the detriment of the company, until he has no choice BUT to fire someone, or let the business tank. But either way, you must FORCE a decision out of him because he's too wishy-washy to do so of his own volition.

You may not regard the emotional trauma as worth quitting over, but the fact of the matter is, it's making your life a living Hell. You'd complain about this bitch every other day in your Chocojournal, and things just seem to be degrading over time. Emotional abuse alone is recognized just as much as any other form of abuse by the law, and letting this situation fester as is just exposes you to more needless abuse. You wouldn't let your father physically beat you, so why are you letting him emotionally beat you?

Right here:

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It's just that my father slapped me in the face with his bitch again. Probably UNINTENTIONALLY, but even then. He should know better.

The classic abusive husband always cries and apologizes every time he looses his temper and hits his wife, but he never stops doing it. Is this the cycle you want to be stuck in?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I can see your situation Sass, but I truly think it comes down to you being reluctant to take the necessary but extremely painful steps to resolve this. You have to realize that it's going to hurt no matter what you do, so there is nothing to be gained by letting things remain as is.

Essentially, you have two options: quit, or declare open war on Cheryl. By that I mean active, out-in-the-open sabotage. You're going to have a break down if you're forced to tolerate this woman any longer, so you have to force your dad's hand - it's her or you. Harass and undermine her, to the detriment of the company, until he has no choice BUT to fire someone, or let the business tank. But either way, you must FORCE a decision out of him because he's too wishy-washy to do so of his own volition.

In actuality, I think you have a really good point. Thinking about it, I think he INTENTIONALLY does these things, just to keep a balance of sorts.

After talking to Pang for a while, I think I have an interesting plan. I know what he'd say if I threatened to quit. I need to have a fallback for it.

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You may not regard the emotional trauma as worth quitting over, but the fact of the matter is, it's making your life a living Hell. You'd complain about this bitch every other day in your Chocojournal, and things just seem to be degrading over time. Emotional abuse alone is recognized just as much as any other form of abuse by the law, and letting this situation fester as is just exposes you to more needless abuse. You wouldn't let your father physically beat you, so why are you letting him emotionally beat you?

Yea, I know. I don't mean to bitch about it so much and I know its annoying. I just need to talk to SOMEONE about it. It makes me feel better (and less angry) to let it out here.

And, you know, this is why I am unemotional. Or try to be, anyways. Because it makes less target room for my father. But I REALLY think he doesn't know how much he hurts me sometimes.

I think its a little extreme to SAY he's emotionally abusing me, but hey. I think rape is silly. Who am I. ^_^

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The classic abusive husband always cries and apologizes every time he looses his temper and hits his wife, but he never stops doing it. Is this the cycle you want to be stuck in?

I understand his motivations, though. We're father-daughter, first of all. Second, this is a business - not the home. I can usually fight my own fight at home, but I am kind of at his mercy here.

But rumor has it she HAS been fired. There's a twist in this story. One I was unaware of.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

But rumor has it she HAS been fired. There's a twist in this story. One I was unaware of.

Fired as in "shes jobless as we speak" or fired as in "shes lost jobs in the past"?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Fired as in "shes jobless as we speak" or fired as in "shes lost jobs in the past"?

Can't really say. She'll be working for another company really soon. Take that as you will.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Out of sight, out of mind. Do you think your dad would stop mickey mousing the situation if the flat-faced leech of a woman was not working under him anymore?

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by LeHah

Out of sight, out of mind. Do you think your dad would stop mickey mousing the situation if the flat-faced leech of a woman was not working under him anymore?

He has already admitted is was a huge mistake on his behalf. He hired her because he was involved with her, not because of her ability.

First and last, he said. And I believe it.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

May I just say, I've missed hearing about Cheryl. We need Chocojournals back.


And I have no advice that hasn't already been said. Maybe just find someone to be your safe place, but that's difficult. And not for everybody.


TRANSCEND

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It sounds as though she may be moving on, in which case your problems will be greatly reduced, but the main problem is your father. Chasing away all the bitches he ever dates is OK but they're attracted to him like flies on shit. If he wasn't such a pussy then the sewage wouldn't always be washing up on your shores. Firstly, from what I can tell, you're the greatest asset that company has. It's just a shame you don't realise it and don't use that fact as leverage. He'd be lost without you. You're the perfect employee in that you work your ass off and take any amount of shit from this Cheryl at the same time. Actually, not so much her shit as that from your dad. I know you're incredibly loyal to your family and your father but when are you going to realise that just because you're related it doesn't give him the right to fuck you over? It's not your duty to help him and his company come hell or high water.

Your skills and work-ethic could get you hired in a considerable number of places, and with people who won't treat you like the office doormat just because they're "family" either. Then it'll just be the rules of the workplace without someone close to you being able to bend them and expecting you to tolerate it. Misplaced loyalty and pride and bottling up your rage hasn't fixed your problems thus far. I really think for your own good that you have to leave that place. That'll make them suffer more than anything, without the need for childish pranks or anything else. I don't mean that you should completely ruin your dad's business but he sure as hell needs one almighty kick up the ass. Cheryl isn't really the problem; if it wasn't her, it'd be some dumb bitch by another name ad infinitum.

And don't think that leaving would be backing down or admitting defeat, that you couldn't drive her away or something. It's just being smart, because it'll make your life a lot less stressful and teach them a lesson to boot.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Guys, I'm not going to quit. I won't let her beat me. Sometimes, life is miserable. I can deal, so long as I can explode now and again.

Originally Posted by wvlfpvp

May I just say, I've missed hearing about Cheryl. We need Chocojournals back.

Yea, I miss them too. You guys could have ignored all this if I had a journal up. ;_;

Quote:

Maybe just find someone to be your safe place, but that's difficult. And not for everybody.

This is precisely what I need, really. Pang can only listen so much.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

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Guys, I'm not going to quit. I won't let her beat me.

And I won't let you beat me. Quit! Quiiiit =D

p.s. requesting an update.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

UPDATE:

Well, I come into work today and I find an email with a decidedly different tone from my father. He's very upset and "doesn't like my tone."

Quote:

I understand you do not like Cheryl, but between you & I don't {know} too many
people you can deal with (even me sometimes...)

So I advise you to stop this anti Cheryl shit and expect only
professionalism at all time at TPI OR the shit will hit the fan.

Am I making myself clear?

So essentially, he's really pissed off because as an EMPLOYEE, I filed a grievance with him. Because that never happens. Ever. Please note the UNPROFESSIONALISM of that email. ^_^

So he's resorted to threats, which are completely empty coming from him. I CHALLENGED him to "resolve the issue of Danielle being a whiny and insolent employee" by firing her.

Unfortunately, we are BOTH the kind of person who will cut off his nose to spite his face. So this COULD be war. Who knows. Its a lot better for me to argue in text than it is in reality because he does a lot of yelling, shouting, and insulting. But I plan to assault the issue verbally next I see him.

I responded to him with a 3 page paper, extremely critical of him. I won't respond to any further emails from him, as everything turns into a personal-attack-athon with him. I said my piece. We'll see where it goes.

How ya doing, buddy?

So, basically, he's saying you're a tough employee to handle?

Why is that? Is it because you're hardheaded, you don't listen, or because you're better than your "superiors" or something else?

That's seriously confusing.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

What a wondrous situation. =/ It seems like you have things pretty well in hand as is, though.

I often wish I had someone I could implicitly trust with anything that I could talk to on a normal basis. Anyone I have that I could complain to in real life is too interconnected with my frustrating situations to give an objective view, and things would inevitably leak out to those more intimately involved. Such is life.

FELIPE NO

I still think you should leave tacks on Cheryl's chair and open spam e-mails on her computer with an unpatched Internet Explorer. If you know your dad's not gonna fire you, what's stopping you from being openly hostile to the point of Cheryl being unable to actually get work done? Prying at your dad doesn't seem to be accomplishing much of anything, since no matter what, he eventually waffles back in favor of Cheryl.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I still think you should leave tacks on Cheryl's chair and open spam e-mails on her computer with an unpatched Internet Explorer. If you know your dad's not gonna fire you, what's stopping you from being openly hostile to the point of Cheryl being unable to actually get work done? Prying at your dad doesn't seem to be accomplishing much of anything, since no matter what, he eventually waffles back in favor of Cheryl.

Ahaha, you sound exactly like Pang. "You know you're not going to get fired. Fuck with her as much as you can!"

Thats not my way. I just want it resolved. I am not that malicious, guys. ;_;

Jam it back in, in the dark.

That and it sounds like if you load up her computer with spam and such, you're going to be the one she goes to to get it cleaned off. A bit of a backfire, I would think.

There's nowhere I can't reach.